A/N: It's been over two years since the last time I wrote anything non-fiction, and it feels great to be back. With that being said, I need to get back into the groove of things. So please, when you review, if you have any advice I would greatly appreciate it. I'm here to get better. I promise the other chapters won't be as short. Thanks, Alex.
It's always funny how things turn out. How one minute, you could be completely happy, and then the next, you're all alone and depressed. I never expected any of it. None one part. Not her leaving, not her telling me that despite it all, she still loved me. I couldn't believe that she could betray me in such a way. After everything we went through? After 3 years of dating, 2 years of being engaged, and 1 year of marriage. After we moved to another state together, and built a home together. Where had I gone wrong? Was it when I left my home when I was 19? Was it when I stayed out of school for two years to help pay for hers? God only knows. I suppose all that's left now is to tell the kids that their moms are getting divorced tomorrow, and I'm moving out next week.
I met her when I was a mere child. We were only 7 when I said hello for the first time, or rather when she said hello. I was in 3rd grade and she was in 2nd. I remember both of our parents running late to pick us up and we were the only ones left. I normally wouldn't have said anything back, but no one had said hello to me first before. I smiled and we talked for the next twenty minutes. Her mom came first and she hugged me before saying bye. Such a simple thing and yet I would remember it forever.
We never left each other's sides after that day. Even when we went to different schools, we still saw each other every day. It got to the point where I had more clothes at her house than my own.
I told her that I liked girls when I was 13. I had never been so nervous in my life. Of course I would leave out the part about liking her in particular...
"I have something to tell you," I said, softly.
"Okay. What is it?"
I took a deep breath. "I think I like girls."
"You think, or you know?" she asked, seriously now.
"I know? Yeah, I know. I don't know. How are you supposed to know?" I was stuttering now. Tripping over my own words. How are you supposed to know?
"Well what makes you think that you like girls? Is there a certain girl you like?"
Silence. Oh God. She knows! She totally knows. Keep calm Ash. Just don't say anything.
"Well? Who do you like?!" she asked, more excited now.
"Oh no one you know," I rebutted.
"Oh bullshit! You don't hang out with anyone that I don't know!"
Ugh fuck. "Uhm...Liz!"
"Oh," sounding disappointed, "Really? Well then. We'll have to figure out if she likes you too."
"And how do you propose that we do that?" I asked, with a smirk.
"Easy, you ask her out."
"What? Oh hell no. That's just asking for trouble."
"Nah. Look, I'll help you. I'm serious."
The next day, Spencer and I went to the mall in search of something to wear on my said "date." Why we were shopping for such an outfit before we even knew about whether or not there would even be a date was beyond me. She never seemed to do anything the conventional way. Our plan was simple. I was going to write Liz a letter and leave it in her locker. With any luck, she'd say yes.
Liz and I dated for almost two years. During that time, Spencer dated many guys. Usually not for more than a few months. None really had a lasting impression on her, or at least that's what she always told me. She always shrugged off the conversation as soon as I'd try to divulge more. We never talked about Liz and I's relationship. It was one of those things that she just preferred not to talk about. She would never tell me why, and of course I would never figure it out until years later. I just always figured that she was jealous of how much time I spent with her. Although Spencer knew I was gay, we still did things like we used to. We'd still sleep over at each other's houses and even sleep in the same bed. I was always thankful that she wasn't phased by it. She was the only one that felt that way. Even Liz didn't want others to know. It was tough having to keep such a big secret. But when I was with Spencer, none of it even mattered. She somehow managed to make the real world just disappear.
