Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, the characters, or this song.
"Trouty Mouth!" Sam, who was on his way back from the bathroom, froze in his tracks. He recognized the voice that called out from behind him. The world may not have ended on the twenty-first of December, but he had a bad feeling that his world might end today.
He turned around cautiously to face Santana, preparing himself for the worst. "Santana," he acknowledged, his voice a few octaves higher than he would have liked.
"You and I need to have ourselves a little talk." She took in his I'm-about-to-piss-my-pants expression and rolled her eyes. "Oh please. You can relax, I'm not going to hurt you."
"Y-you're not?"
"No. That would only hurt Brittany. And considering I'm here to win her back, murdering her 'boyfriend' wouldn't exactly win me any points in her favor now would it?"
Now Sam looked kind of mad. "Hang on Santana, you left her, remember?"
"Yeah, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I suppose congratulations are in order, because that decision bumped 'dating Sam Evans' from the top of my list of regrets." This insult seemed to faze him, so she continued. "So here's how it's going to go down, Guppy Face. Instead of fighting for her heart like a couple of Neanderthals, we're going to have ourselves a little sing-off. ¿Entiendes?"
"Why would I agree to that when I've already got her?"
"Look, either way I'm singing to her, and I'm going to get her back. I'm just offering you a fair fight. … Well, as fair as it can be when you're competing with all-a-this." Santana gestured to her beautiful face and down her smokin' bod. "So sing, don't sing; that's up to you."
Sam didn't want to agree to it, he didn't want to admit that he felt threatened by Santana, but he couldn't shake the conversation he and Brittany had had earlier in the day.
"I never understood why Santana always made fun of your lips. She has big lips too. You guys could be, like, lip twins."
Sam didn't like the implication that he reminded Brittany of Santana, like he was some sort of replacement. It was also the third time she'd brought up Santana this week. So he kind of snapped a little.
"Brittany, you can't keep talking about your ex. It's bad." She looked hurt by his words, and had been pretty quiet the rest of the day.
A little damage control couldn't hurt. Plus, if he could show Brittany that he was more awesome than Santana, the two of them could finally get on with their future together without Sam worrying that Brittany still thought about their mutual ex-girlfriend.
"Fine, I'll do it."
~*~Brittana~*~Endgame~*~
Brittany joined the rest of New Directions in the auditorium at the end of the school day. Sam had mysteriously disappeared after his bathroom break earlier in the morning and hadn't reappeared until glee club after lunch, where he asked everyone to meet in the auditorium after school for something important. When she asked him where he went, he only said that he was rehearsing a new song.
When everyone was seated, with Brittany front and center, Sam came out on stage. Brittany thought he looked super cute in his red button up shirt and matching sneakers. He gave her a sad, longing look, and then signaled for the band to start playing.
"Eenie meenie miney mo, Catch a bad chick by her toe, If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go, She's indecisive, She can't decide, She keeps on lookin', From left to right" Brittany watched Sam, confused. She hadn't cheated on him or anything, and she didn't why he was so upset. This song didn't make any sense.
"Girl, come a bit closer, Look in my eyes, Searchin' is so wrong, I'm Mr. Right" Sam watched his girlfriend with pained eyes, pleading with her to pick him. Why did he always pick girls who were still hung up on someone else? First there was Quinn with Finn, then Mercedes with Shane, and now Brittany with Santana.
"You seem like the type, To love 'em and leave 'em, And disappear right after this song, So give me the night, To show you, hold you, Don't leave me out here dancin' alone" He did a few sexy dance moves that he learned last year in Kentucky, over exaggerating them in an attempt to make Brittany laugh, and she did let out a giggle through her tight throat. Sam was confusing her with the song, and it made her sad that he thought those things about her.
"You can't make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind, Please don't waste my time, time, time, time, time, I'm not tryin' to rewind, wind, wind, wind, wind, I wish our hearts could come together as one, 'Cuz shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova"
All of a sudden the vocals changed, and Santana danced out onto the stage. Brittany's heart skipped a beat. She looked really good. Her long, straight black hair fell down to her stomach over a tight, form-fitting black tank top. A pair of red skinny jeans hugged the Latina's finely toned legs, with a flat-billed Louisville cardinal's hat and black Nike high tops to give her the right amount of swag.
"Let me show you what your missin', Paradise" Santana gestured to herself with a cocky smirk.
"With me you're winning girl, You don't have to roll the dice, Tell me what you're really here for, Them other guys?" Santana sent a skeptical look Sam's way, who merely rolled his eyes, before looking back at Brittany as if to say, "Really?"
"I can see right through ya, You seem like the type, To love 'em and leave 'em, And disappear right after the song" Santana sent a knowing smirk Brittany's way, and the blonde couldn't help but smile at the memory Santana was referring to with that look. They were at a party and Brittany had been pulled away by a really hot senior boy to dance. The song ended and he started to ask her if she wanted to "go somewhere quiet", but she'd already walked back over to Santana and linked their pinkies together.
"So give me the night, To show you, hold you, Don't leave me out here dancin' alone" Santana's dance moves were purposefully seductive, her years as a cheerleader working in her favor.
"Can't make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind, Please don't waste my time, time, time, time, time, Not tryin' to rewind, wind, wind, wind, wind, I wish our hearts could come together as one, 'Cuz shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova" Brittany was sent back into another memory from sophomore year, just after she hooked up with Kurt. "San, I'm running out of people on my list," Brittany complained, glancing around the hallway looking for someone she hadn't already hooked up with. "Just do what I do when I can't decide who I want to mack on next," the Latina replied. Brittany gave her a confused look. Santana smirked. "Eenie meenie miney mo, catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollas let him go, eenie meenie miney mo." Brittany took her suggestion, and somehow her finger landed on Santana herself.
"Eenie meenie miney moe, Catch a bad chick by her toe, If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go" Sam sang his part with pleading eyes and ended it by backing away with his hands in the air, a promise that if she didn't pick him he would let her go.
"Eenie meenie miney moe, Catch a bad chick by her toe" Santana sent a wink in Brittany's direction, and that sent the blonde into yet another flashback, this time to just a year ago. "I didn't do anything bad!" Brittany swore to Santana while they were changing books between classes. Brittany didn't like the idea of getting in trouble. Santana couldn't help but grin at how adorable her girlfriend was. "No Britt, bad can be a good thing." "Santana, how does that even make sense?" This time the Latina rolled her eyes, not at Brittany, but at the thought of some guy hitting on her. "He meant that you are incredibly attractive and that a lot of people think you're sexy." "Oh. Well no one can argue with him there." Santana grinned for a moment before it turned to a determined glare. "Now, if you'll excuse me, it sounds like I have some ass to go kick."
"If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go" Santana did the same 'backing off' move that Sam had done – it had actually been her idea – and then the two sang together, each trying to out-do the other as this was their last chance to win Brittany over.
"Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, You can't make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind, Please don't waste my time, time, time, time, time, Not tryin' to rewind, wind, wind, wind, wind, I wish our hearts could come together as one, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova, Shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova" They ended pressed really close together, intense glares on both of their faces. When she realized their proximity Santana's scowl hardened and she shoved him away from her with her fingertips. Everyone in the audience stood and cheered save for Brittany, who was thinking more seriously than she had ever done in her life.
~*~Brittana~*~Endgame~*~
Two days had passed since Santana and Sam had done their impromptu performance for Brittany, and the rest of the glee club. Santana hadn't heard from the blonde, but she couldn't wait any longer. It was Sunday and she had no choice but to go back to Louisville. She felt her heart breaking all over again.
Just as she got her last bag of laundry loaded into her car she heard the sound of tires pulling up her driveway. Looking up she felt a million feelings when she saw that the car was Brittany's.
Did she come to say she's choosing Sam? Or me? Why did it take her so long? God she looks good!
Brittany took a moment getting out of her car, just looking at Santana who stood still next to her own car. The blonde took another moment to collect herself before stepping out of her car.
"Hey," she called over to the beautiful Latina.
"Hi," Santana breathed out, mesmerized by Brittany's voice. God, how I've missed her.
"Are you leaving?" Britt asked, noticing the bags in Santana's car.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I have class in the morning." There was a moment of awkward silence as neither girl knew what to say. Santana wanted to ask what Brittany had decided. Brittany knew what she had come to say, but she no idea where to start.
"So, Rachel and Quinn say hi," Santana finally said after a minute. Brittany smiled, thinking of their east coast friends. "I uh, went to New York last week… I'm thinking of moving there after this semester."
Brittany's mouth fell in surprise. She pulled Santana in for a hug. "Wow, San, that's so awesome!"
Santana pulled out of Brittany's embrace and stared sadly into her eyes. "Listen, Britt, it wasn't fair of me to come here and put you in that position. I mean, I'm the idiot who broke up with you in the first place. It's just, when I heard you were dating Sam, I dunno, I got so crazy jealous. I still am. But if he makes you happy, then I'll try to move on." Santana's face was a thin mask of confidence, but it was easy for Brittany to see how much pain it was causing the Latina to make that promise.
"Santana," Brittany said in a 'you-silly-goose' tone, "I came here to tell you that I broke up with Sam." Santana's brown eyes flew up from the ground and met Brittany's blue eyes. "I mean sure we are a lot alike, but he never understood me like you do. And you looked really hot on stage."
Santana had stopped listening after the words 'broke up', and as soon as the blonde stopped talking Santana leaned up and crashed her lips with Brittany's, wrapping her tan arms tight around the other girl's neck and pulling her close.
When they finally broke apart for air, Brittany remembered the other news she had come to tell Santana.
"I auditioned for Juilliard."
AN: Yeah, a weird place to end it, but for anyone who doesn't know, Juilliard is in New York City, so… *Sigh* If only the actual show would work out this way.