Summary: "So you've gone from chasing one airhead to being chased by another. What is it like being chased by our reigning airhead Queen?" Sudou had sneered. It must have been another one of his mind games because Wakamiya Shinobu was certainly not pursuing Taichi, romantically or otherwise. The thought was ridiculous. College-fic. Taichi x Shinobu. Mentions of past Taichi x Chihaya. One-shot.
Notes:Gift fic to the amazing biribirichan, since Taichi is one of her favorite anime characters. Thank you for everything you've done for me and for being my exemplar!
Taichi is an incredible character in the sense that his struggles to find himself (and also trust himself) are so real and believable. I think we've all been in his shoes at some point in our lives. That's why, in my opinion, he deserves all the happiness in the world! That's kind of what I was thinking about when I first conceived this idea for this fic. Chihayafuru isn't really my fandom (although I really like the series), so my characterization might not be up to par. But hope you still enjoy this fic, and please leave feedback if you can!
Pursuit
Taichi sipped a can of cold coffee by himself in the balcony of his dorm floor. He always left himself thirty minutes every night to relax, think and reflect.
Pre-med was sucking the life out of him and he was pretty much studying every waking hour except for karuta practice. It was hell, but he loved it, because it kept him busy. It was having free time that he hated most because that was when he usually had negative thoughts about himself. However, while it was true that he was a little bit of a masochist, it had improved dramatically over the years. He had karuta to thank partly for that.
He refused to quit karuta, not matter how stressful school got, because that's what kept him sane. Plus, it was too important to him now to ever consider quitting. It had taken him years, and the help of Harada-sensei and Suou, before he was able to accept his karuta for what it was. And it was part and parcel of accepting himself for who he was. Now that he was there, he would never look back.
His busy schedule had another advantage. He didn't have to make excuses for skipping gatherings of the old Mizusawa karuta club members, who were spread all over now. He loved all of them, he really did, and he was happy to meet them individually if they ever called or were nearby. But going to reunions, or seeing Chihaya, it was still far too painful.
He had worked so hard to get to where he was now. He was happy, more confident, more energetic. He couldn't afford to relapse.
He blamed himself for allowing all his childhood and teenage years to revolve around one single girl… Some wounds went too deep.
They were still friends. She texted him random (usually karuta-related) things regularly, and he always replied. They'd had some practice matches, and even faced each other in multiple tournaments. But Taichi had shut off a part of himself from her permanently.
Chihaya and Arata still weren't dating, although he was sure they would eventually. They were finally in the same city after all. Arata had been accepted into Toudai like him, but had turned it down in favor of a smaller technical school that gave him a better scholarship.
He didn't know why Chihaya and Arata were holding back from seeing each other. He had wondered, more than once, if it was because of him. They didn't have to be so considerate. It was ridiculous.
When his phone lit up, Taichi unlocked it to reply to a text from Shinobu. She was inquiring about playing a karuta match, but he couldn't today – he had a test the next day.
Shinobu went to the University of Tokyo along with him. Over the past year, he'd gotten to know her pretty well, he would even say they were close. They'd had a weird grudging sort of friendship since that TV match in their final year of high school when Taichi had played both Suou and Shinobu. For whatever reason, Shinobu acknowledged his karuta skill. Taichi suspected it was less to do with his own skill and more to do with the fact that Suou had taken him under his wing. In any case, at Toudai, Shinobu regularly solicited practice matches from him, and Taichi was ever the willing subject.
Whenever people were surprised that he was so well acquainted with the Queen, he would jokingly say they had bonded over laundry. It was true. During their first month of college, Taichi had stumbled upon a distraught Shinobu in the laundry room. Her favorite Snowmaru shirt was ruined from the black dye of one of her pants because she didn't understand the concept of separating whites. Looking at the Queen's matching Snowmaru underwear was both hilarious and disturbing, but Taichi helped her laundry get sorted anyway (while trying not to wonder if Chihaya's underwear was similar).
That same month, Shinobu suddenly stopped attending classes. At first, Taichi didn't even notice. Missing a few classes wasn't a big deal, and it was none of his business. He and Shinobu were barely even friends at that point. After the fifth day though, Taichi got concerned. When he went to inquire about her at her dorm, he found her bedridden with high-grade fever, barely able to take care of herself. It had gotten to the point where she had to be hospitalized.
The food she had in her room was insufficient and not nutritious; she had been surviving on rice crackers and fever pills. What he found most alarming was that she hadn't told anyone she was sick. Because she hadn't come out of her room, the people on her floor, including the caretaker, had assumed she was out of town. Taichi found himself angry. What sort of negligence was that? Also, did Shinobu not have any friends to check up on her? What about her family in Kyoto? How could they not realize something was wrong after five or six days? He supposed it was possible; he talked to his mother about once a week.
He'd briefly thought of his mother then. Despite all the things he disagreed with her on his upbringing, she had at least made him into an independent, self-sufficient man. She had taught him how to live with purpose in each day of his life. He knew a little about the Wakamiya family. They were wealthy too, and Shinobu's grandmother, the Kyoto city councilor, was the family matriarch. He got the feeling that, like his family, they expected a lot out of Shinobu. Still, what kind of family enforced the kind of independence from a girl that made her unwilling to ask for help even when she badly needed it? He didn't know how much of it was their fault, but it was clear that Shinobu had no idea how to take care of herself.
After she was hospitalized, it didn't take long for her to recover, but Taichi made sure to check up on her regularly after that. Her lack of knowledge on practical things was so distressing, he couldn't, in good conscience, leave her alone. Hence, most of their initial friendship involved him scolding her for the way she lived her life. He gave her a good dose of the 'tough love' he was famous for in the Mizusawa karuta club. Her diet, for one thing, was completely unbalanced and atrocious (which was probably why she had cycles of gaining and losing weight really fast). In any case, they had gone a long way from that point and she had improved enormously.
His thirty-minute alarm rang. Taichi finished the rest of his coffee in one big gulp. It was time to shower and then review for his test before bed.
It was one of Sudou's sarcastic comments during a practice karuta match in the Toudai karuta club that made Taichi pause between arranging his cards. He was so used to it by now that Sudou's comments usually just bounced off his head, but…
"So you've gone from chasing one airhead to being chased by another. What is it like being chased by our reigning airhead Queen?" Sudou had sneered.
Chihaya and Shinobu might both be airheads, but they can whip your ass in karuta any day, Taichi had thought. Sudou's win-loss record with either of them was certainly not in his favor. Plus, Taichi was not being chased by Shinobu at all, what was Sudou talking about? He could give Shinobu a good game, but she still far surpassed him. If anything, Taichi was the one doing the chasing.
Then he realized that that wasn't what Sudou was talking about at all.
Taichi caught Shinobu's eye from across the room. She was poised for the start of her own practice match. She looked pointedly at the handful of cards on his lap that he was yet to arrange, and then the clock – the end of memorization time was fast approaching.
Taichi remembered himself and hastily placed the remaining cards, sticking with his usual placement. This was no time to fall prey to Sudou's mind games, he had a match to win.
Later that night, in the comfort of his bed once he had finished studying, Taichi thought about Sudou's absurd statement. Shinobu pursuing him? As a love interest? The idea was laughable. The reigning Queen was even more clueless about love, if possible, than Chihaya.
Not willing to let his sleep be disturbed by Sudou's mind games any longer, Taichi shut off his bedside lamp. At least, he had won the match today.
Sudou's words came to haunt him in the following weeks. Taichi started noticing little details about Shinobu that he hadn't given a passing glance before. He felt tainted. Was Sudou really that observant or was this another one of his games?
Shinobu always waited for him before having dinner, even on days when he had to work late for his tutoring job. To be fair, she stuffed herself with snacks constantly so dinner wasn't anything special to her, but still, the point was that she waited. Taichi had thought she did that just so they could practice karuta afterward. But was that the only reason? It wasn't a secret that Shinobu was just as happy (if not happier) to practice karuta by herself.
When they had matches at the Toudai karuta club, she would time the ending of her last match to exactly coincide with his, so they could walk home together. It was entirely unnecessary, because she would have likely finished first anyway, but she probably saw it as a challenge, even as she made it effortless.
Previously, he had considered all those things a natural progression of the friendship they had developed in college, but he was confused now.
The other thing was that Sudou seemed to have been hinting that Shinobu was Taichi's replacement for Chihaya. He didn't know where Sudou had gotten that from. Shinobu and Chihaya had a few similarities but they were nothing alike.
Shinobu's lack of practicality and her love of cute brands was similar to Chihaya, but that was where the similarities ended. Where Chihaya was an open book and blurted out whatever was in her head, Shinobu outwardly always projected a calm front and spoke very little. Where Chihaya burst with energy, Shinobu was the picture of grace and poise – she rarely had any excess movement. Chihaya occasionally wore her tacky Daddy Bear merchandise, but she normally had impeccable fashion taste. She'd probably learned from her older sister. Combined with her looks, she always drew attention… until she opened her mouth. Shinobu, on the other hand, had zero fashion sense and wore whatever stroked her fancy, usually Snowmaru-branded shirts. The result was always that she looked far younger than she actually was. It also made people underestimate her. The other major difference was that, unlike Chihaya, Shinobu was fairly studious. She loved to read and that translated into her academic work.
If Shinobu was indeed "chasing him" as Sudou put it, it was completely different from how he had experienced it before with other girls. After all, he was quite popular (he wasn't being arrogant, it was the truth). Shinobu didn't ask him out – she'd had plenty of opportunities if she had been planning on it. She didn't even display any reaction when other girls were interested in him.
Most of the girls that asked him out were classmates he barely knew. When he was in middle school he'd said yes to some of them, mostly because he liked the attention, but also because he didn't know how to say no. He soon found that dating someone was meaningless unless you truly liked them. Some might enjoy it, but he didn't.
Over the years, he'd learned how to decline respectfully. He was flattered by their attention but he wasn't looking for anything right now. That was his official response.
But sometimes his admirers irked him. Today was a case in point.
The girl in question was called Ayu and one of the high-school students he tutored part-time. She pointedly looked at Shinobu beside him, as if to suggest going somewhere private to talk, but Taichi ignored her hints.
"Is she your girlfriend, Mashima-senpai?" Ayu asked, eyeing Shinobu's Snowmaru-patterned T-shirt and gym pants with great distaste. Impertinently, in his opinion.
Taichi looked at Shinobu from the corner of his eye. She was happily engrossed in her phone, apparently oblivious to the conversation. She had no reaction whatsoever.
"No," he said shortly, resisting the urge to look at his watch. They were supposed to meet Suou now. He despised being late to anything.
"Then, can we go somewhere else to talk?" Ayu tried again.
"Trust me, if she's on her phone, she's far gone from this world." Shinobu was like Chihaya in this regard. "What did you need?"
Of course, it was the same old deal. She asked him to go see a movie, to which he made up an excuse.
"Then how about Saturday instead?"
Taichi mentally sighed, while outwardly keeping up a smile. Why couldn't she take a hint? And he was her tutor, for God's sake. She paid him. This wasn't appropriate.
There was a loud grumble behind him. "Taichi, I'm hungry. Can we go?" Shinobu was smiling and didn't look remotely apologetic.
Ayu gaped as Shinobu grabbed his arm and half dragged him away.
"Sorry, Ayu! We'll catch up later." Taichi called out behind him. "Shinobu-chan has a nasty temper when she's hungry." He added the chan in there just for good measure. Ayu's expression afterward was worth it.
Shinobu was looking incredibly smug.
"How did you time your stomach like that?" He didn't mind stroking her ego, because she'd saved him from a lot of pain.
"I am actually hungry and that girl was annoying," she said nonchalantly.
"So you were listening. Also, we ate dinner just an hour ago!"
When Shinobu shrugged, he poked her belly. "The amount you can eat, are you even human?"
Clearly, she had taken that as a compliment because she looked even more pleased.
He heard a familiar voice calling his name as he exited the building. He had just finished with a study session with a few of his classmates.
Taichi turned. "Arata? What brings you here?" He was truly surprised to find him here.
Arata was panting a little. "I came here to attend a guest lecture from a professor in Singapore. I thought I'd try to meet up with you afterward. You didn't get my calls?" He looked a tiny bit hurt.
Taichi checked his phone. Three missed calls from Arata. Fourteen messages from Shinobu. He raised an eyebrow at that. He'd look at it later.
"Sorry, I was in a study group. How about I buy you a coffee to make up?"
They went to the only café in Toudai that stayed open in the evenings.
"How are you liking Tokyo life?" Taichi asked after they were seated. "Is it better or worse than how it was in grade school?"
Arata smiled. "I like my classes. And I like that there's so many more opportunities to improve my karuta here." He paused. "Taichi, how come you don't come to the Shiranami Society these days?"
"I haven't had the time," he said, calmly sipping his drink. Of course he hadn't. Chihaya was there. Plus, he could play both the Meijin and the Queen anytime he wanted.
Arata nodded understandingly. Taichi decided to address the elephant in the room. "How are things with Chihaya?"
Arata choked on his drink and Taichi handed him a napkin. Wiping his mouth, Arata said awkwardly, "Uh, we went on a date last week. I think we'll go again some time?"
"Oh I see." Taichi feigned disinterest, but he doubted Arata was fooled.
Several moments of silence were broken by a heavy sigh by Arata. "I wish we could go back to how things were. I'm in the same city as you two now, but still, there's this barrier between us."
Taichi looked at the ceiling. "What are you talking about, idiot? You and I are fine aren't we?"
Arata had leaned forward, his drink in both hands. His face was earnest. "You know, I would be okay with never dating Chihaya… if it meant that we could be normal with each other again."
"It's too late for that!" Taichi snapped. He was glad his voice was toned down by the loud music of the café.
Arata looked sad. "Chihaya misses you a lot, you know."
Well, Chihaya can't expect to have the cake and eat it too. How selfish could she get?
"She made her choice, Arata. I accept her choice and am dealing with it. She should deal with it too. It's not like I'm ignoring her either." That was a lie. He wasn't ignoring her but he was certainly avoiding her.
"I'm sorry for bringing it up, Taichi…"
"It's fine." He didn't have any beef with Arata, not anymore anyway. Unlike Chihaya herself, Arata had always been extremely considerate with him about anything related to their shared love interest. Arata was really sensitive about these things. Taichi had eventually realized that his jealousy of Arata had nothing to do with Arata himself, it stemmed from Taichi's own inferiority complexes.
If Chihaya wasn't involved, perhaps he and Arata could have been much better friends. Then again, if Chihaya weren't there, maybe they wouldn't be friends in the first place. No matter what, he could never get away from the impact Chihaya continued to have on various parts of his life…
The sudden ringing of Taichi's cellphone was a welcome distraction. "Hello?"
"I thought we were supposed to play today, I messaged you so many times. Where are you?" Shinobu's voice was completely calm on the other end but Taichi felt a chill. What she was really saying was: When we play, I am going to crush you for making me wait.
He chuckled. "Come meet me in the clubroom in ten minutes. I think it'll be worth the wait." Shinobu liked playing Arata the best after all. Far more than Suou.
"Was that Shinobu-chan?" Arata asked.
"Yes! You owe us both a match!"
After Arata played both of them, he ended up staying over at Taichi's room because it was too late for him to catch a bus.
Arata spoke from his futon once they had both retired to bed, "I wish we could do this more often, Taichi."
"Do what?"
"Spend more time together."
"Don't be so creepy in the dark, dimwit. Go to sleep."
Taichi heard Arata laugh. The last thing Arata said before he drifted of was, "But I am really glad we are in the same city again… I didn't like only meeting you and Chihaya at tournaments. Karuta isn't as fun unless you can play with your friends."
Sometimes it hurt to spend time with Arata, because the old pangs of jealousy crept up. But secretly, he was glad too.
Several more weeks passed with no change of behavior from Shinobu, and Taichi started to wonder why he was so hung up over Sudou's words when the sadistic young man was clearly wrong.
Maybe it was that he actually wanted it to be true?
Chihaya and Arata had each other, Kana was dating Komano, and even Nishida was seeing someone. If he wanted to be in a serious relationship with someone down the road, who else would it be than Shinobu? He practically spent all his free time with her anyway, because most of it involved karuta practice. She was cute, had a dark sense of humor, and he enjoyed spending time with her. Even their families were compatible.
Was it wrong to approach this so practically and rationally instead of emotionally? Well, he had been passionately in love with Chihaya, and how had that ended up?
"I guess you feel like going easy on me today, Taichi." Shinobu spoke coolly as she took another card cleanly from the right side of his formation.
Taichi smiled. What she was really saying was, I don't care if you're distracted, but don't expect to take any cards from me.
It wouldn't do to have her pissed at him. Shinobu's cold temper was legendary, even though it was one of the things he found most attractive about her.
It was wrong of him to get distracted during a game anyway. So shaking himself from his thoughts, Taichi awaited the next verse.
Unsurprisingly, Shinobu completely crushed him in this game.
They were sitting against the wall of the clubroom now, with vending machine drinks in hand. Taichi had his cold coffee, Shinobu was sipping on carbonated water (she had been very health conscious of late and gave up on soda).
"Say, Shinobu?"
"Hmm?" She was doing practice swings. She was probably annoyed at him for taking a few of her precious cards from her, despite his distraction at the beginning of the game.
"Want to go on a date with me?" He was purposefully explicit in his wording because he wanted to be clear about his intentions. He didn't know how much of Shinobu's obliviousness about these things was for real.
Shinobu's face was impassive as she paused in her swinging. "When?"
He had asked her out casually but now he felt nervous. Normally he was the one being asked out. "Are you free tomorrow night?"
Shinobu smirked, "Why are you asking, idiot? I'm with you every night any way."
His cheeks heated up a little. He took a gulp of coffee. "A-ah, I guess that's true. Then how about we go have dinner and then see a play at the theatre?" He had inherited his mother's love of theatre of all things.
"Okay." She smiled and went back to swinging.
It was a genuine smile, not like her usual scary smiles that gave him the chills. It made his heart flutter.
Shinobu looked stunning, but it was completely different from her usual style. She had made that much effort for him? He was touched.
Taichi admired her as she approached him at their meeting place outside the dorms. She had a dark blue polka dot dress, with a light grey scarf looped around her neck and matching grey boots. She was even wearing earrings. He had never seen her dressed like this, but the style was familiar to him somehow.
"You look great," Taichi smiled.
Shinobu blushed, "Chihaya-chan helped me get ready."
He hid his shock. Chihaya did? Shinobu had very few friends, with Chihaya being one of them. It wasn't that surprising that Shinobu had called her. But did that mean Chihaya knew-
"The girls always say I have no fashion sense," Shinobu said quietly, looking down at her feet. "Chihaya-chan is good at these things, that's why I called her."
Pay attention to your date, Taichi, especially when she went through so much trouble for you! Taichi scolded himself. What does it matter if Chihaya knows or not?
He lightly touched Shinobu's arm. "Hey, what does it matter what they think?" People could sometimes be so unkind. "You don't have to go through so much effort for me, just be yourself."
Shinobu nodded, but her eyes were distant. He had said the wrong thing…
"Don't get me wrong. I am really happy you dressed up for me." Taichi smiled at her. "You've completely outclassed me. I'm going to feel so self-conscious walking around with such a beautiful date."
"Are you fishing for compliments, Taichi?" Shinobu's wicked smile was back and it warmed his heart.
"Hahaha, maybe I am."
Shinobu was a little too rigid over dinner. She normally had good table manners, but today she was a little too proper. She looked uncomfortable. He supposed that was a normal part of a first date, but he didn't know how to put her at ease. He blamed himself for choosing a fine-dining establishment instead of somewhere more casual.
He hadn't realized she cared so much about making a good impression on him. Sudou had perhaps been right after all. But if so, he had to wonder why Shinobu had never made any indication of her affection toward him. Did she just not know how to? Or maybe she thought he wasn't interested. He supposed it didn't matter at this point.
He tried to think of a topic to break the silence, but it was Shinobu who spoke up first, "Chihaya-chan wants to come play us sometime. She was jealous that Arata came here without her."
Taichi nodded. He thought his voice sounded uneven when he asked, "Did she know you were going out with me today?"
Shinobu was looking at him carefully. There was a flicker of something in her eyes. "Was I not supposed to tell her?"
"No, no, no, it's totally fine. It saves me the trouble of having to tell her." He tried to smile but couldn't stop himself from asking his next question. "What was her reaction?"
Why do you care, Taichi? You're pathetic.
Shinobu looked down at her food and took a bite, "She seemed excited."
They went to the park after dinner to kill time before the start of the movie. Shinobu was normally not expressive, but today she was unusually quiet.
Taichi wondered if her inexpressiveness was part of her upbringing. He had gotten the impression that Shinobu didn't like her family. He had asked her once, why she came to college in Tokyo instead of remaining in Kyoto. You didn't see that many students from Kyoto here and Taichi didn't think Shinobu's reasons were entirely karuta-related like Arata's move to Tokyo was.
Shinobu had told him this: "Everyone expected me to stay in Kyoto, but they can't control me." When he had asked if she missed her family, she had just scoffed. He had left it at that.
Shinobu was shivering in the cold breeze. Feeling like he was part of some cheesy romantic movie, he opened his jacket and covered Shinobu's shoulders. He was glad he was wearing a sweater on top of his button-down shirt today.
"But aren't you going to be cold?" she asked him.
"It's okay, I have two more layers." He took her hands and rubbed them together.
"What are you doing, Taichi?" her voice was incredulous.
"Warming your hands." He felt embarrassed when she started laughing at him. Okay, it wasn't that cold, and he was using it as an excuse to touch her. So what?
"You're weird, Taichi." She was smiling.
He blushed and eventually let go of her hands, but she grabbed hold of them again. "You can't let them go now, or they'll be cold again."
"A-Ahh, you're right." This time he pulled her closer to him.
Maybe what Taichi saw in Shinobu was a kindred spirit. They were both lonely. Maybe people would say that was the wrong reasons for dating someone, but what made their reasons any less valid than other people's?
The months passed and they were still dating well into their second year of college.
"Chihaya is coming over later," he said casually one day after dinner.
Shinobu was reading a book at his table, her posture perfect and her back ramrod straight, as usual. She looked at him from across the room with her steady, clear gaze. She had so much restraint over her emotions; it was the polar opposite of Chihaya. But her eyes always gave things away, if you bothered to notice.
"She's needs a textbook that I already own. It's really expensive so she's going to borrow it for a semester."
Shinobu went back to her book and turned a page. "Should I leave?"
In the second before she had turned away, he had seen it. The look of resignation. The same look he wore when Arata walked into the room in a karuta tournament. The look he used to wear.
In a flash, he remembers something he had told Sumire a long time ago, when she commented on how he didn't need to choose a girlfriend because girls asked him out all the time. "It doesn't seem right to let a girl choose me. I would rather choose the girl I devote myself to."
For how long would he let his past color the present? He had chosen Shinobu, and she had stayed by his side all this time.
In a few strides, he was kneeling in front of Shinobu.
Maybe it was her pride, but she wouldn't look at him. Her mouth opened in surprise when he took her face in his hands and kissed her.
"You're my girlfriend. Why would you need to leave?"
Shinobu tugged on his sleeve when he started getting up. She was looking at his lips. He spared her the misery.
They finally pulled apart when there was a knock on the door, both out of breath. Taichi laughed at the adorably dazed look on Shinobu's face. He had to restrain himself from kissing her again.
His face still flushed, he opened the door. It was still with a dull ache in his heart that he saw her face, but he felt much lighter than before. He greeted her with a genuine smile, "Hi, Chihaya."
End Notes: So apparently Sudou is the best wingman :P.
I feel like Taichi would be really nice to his date, if he liked them that is. I'm also sure that if things don't work out with Chihaya, he will eventually open his heart to someone else again :). I hope you enjoyed this! Please let me know your thoughts if you can :).