Skip this one if you haven't read/watched Yu-Gi-Oh!

Next one: s/9689119/1/

Author's Note:

Bakura is talks British in this fic because I want him too. Contrary to popular belief... Bakura is not actually British, and his sister and mother are still alive. Amazing, right? I didn't figure that out until a while ago.

Rated T for potty-mouth Bakura.

Suggest themes and manga/anime for #5, mmkay?

Theme #4

Hair

"But really, Yugi. What the bloody hell is wrong with your hair?" Bakura jabbed an accusing finger at the short boy.

Yugi sighed. He really needed to get used to this new Bakura, even though he was the one who indirectly caused it in the first place. See, a few hours ago…

"Yugi? What's going on?" A tentative white-haired boy cautiously peered through a half-closed doorway. "I heard some noises…"

"Ah! Bakura! Don't worry, nothing's going on!" Yugi quickly replied, with a barely noticeable flinch.

He and the pharaoh had been inspecting an ancient Egyptian spell book that Ishizu had lent them for clues on Yami's real name. So far, they had found none. But they had, however, discovered plenty of spells on how to dismember some unfortunate person's XXXX and kicking someone else's XXXX at the same time. Not to mention that some of the colorful pictures were mentally scarring. Yugi knew he would never be able to get those images out of his mind. The pharaoh didn't seem to care less, though.

But in the middle of it all, they had forgotten their original purpose and simply began to experiment with some of the more docile spells, like one to make plants grow faster and another to make anyone fall in love with anything. Even in spirit form, Yami had still fallen head-over-heels for a flowerpot. Luckily it had only taken a few minutes to wear off.

One of the riskier ones they decided to try was a personality cloak, which 'cloaked' some of the victim's better traits so the more hostile ones good surface. They had decided to try it on the door, just for fun. After all, if spells could work on a spirit/ghost/thing, why not an inanimate object?

Unfortunately it was in that moment that Bakura decided to check up on them for no real reason, other than the various crashing noises the two had managed to create.

Yugi was relieved at first. Perhaps they had failed the spell, or maybe the magic was too old? Whatever the case, Bakura did not show any signs of being magic-ified.

Until a few seconds later, that is…

…which brings us to our present situation.

"Why the hell has no one ever told you that your hair looks like a bloody starfish?" Bakura accused, hostility over toning his voice. "Get a bloody haircut."

Yami was careful not to let loose any colorful words about Bakura's own hairstyle. I mean, really? Shaggy white hair that was spiky yet fluffy-looking at the same time? What was he, a white retriever? He couldn't help but laugh at his own joke; golden retriever, white retriever.

"And Marik! He lives the in the bloody desert, he's a bloody Egyptian, but nooo! He has to have bloody white hair, just like me!" Bakura ranted, pacing around the room. "And what the bloody hell is up with Kaiba people and green hair? Seto had green hair in Season Zero; Noah had green hair before he died! Don't they get that nothing good ever comes with green hair?! Seto lost to you, of all people, and Noah died! He bloody died, damn it!"

"Uh… Bakura—"

"Don't get started on the 'we're still kickass so it's okay' crap! Do you get how bloody frustrating it is, seeing a jillion creepy haircuts in one episode?!" Bakura was on a roll. "Look at Esper Roba! His whole family has the same hairstyle! Even the bloody baby!"

"Bakura, really—"

"Or, or Rex Raptor, or whatever his name is! How the bloody hell do you even dye and arrange your hair like that anyway?! And Mai Valentine! How does she stand the bloody stares her hair attracts?! It's way too fluffy! Now, go look at your friend Duke Devlin! What the bloody hell is he even?!"

"Calm down, Bakura—"

"CALM DOWN?! You want me to bloody calm down?! My own bloody hair is a mess! It's weirdly long and spiky, and it has bloody wings when Yami takes over! Wings, Yugi, wings!" With that he unceremoniously knocked himself out by accidently walking straight into a wall and crumpling to the floor.

"Well, at least that's over," the pharaoh said, gesturing to Bakura. Under his breath, he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "No one insults my beautiful hair and gets away with it…"

And a few hours later, when Bakura finally woke up, it seemed he had no recollection of the previous events and decided to go straight home, resulting in the pharaoh unable to get his revenge.