A Change of Heart
Chapter 1
Alone is Only Alone if You Get the Hell Out of Here!
I groan as I turn over in bed looking at the clock, it's 8AM on the first day of Christmas Break and I am already pissed at my sister Alice who is currently pounding on my bedroom door. "What the fuck do you want Alice?" The door flies open and I am suddenly impaled with 89 pounds of irritating munchkin fairy.
"Edward, mom wants you down stairs A-SAP, she has been calling and calling you for like 10 minutes!" I run my hand through my hair and pinch the bridge of my nose in an effort to hold at bay the already forming migraine.
"Alice, do you know meaning of Christmas fucking vacation?" Alice jumps off me and begins bouncing on my bed.
"Of course I do silly, I LOVE Christmas vacation, we get to sleep in and stay up late watching movies and we can shop and shop and shop!" She answered her eyes shining excitedly.
"You know what Alice, none of that shit sounds even remotely interesting to me." Alice's brow furrows and I groan silently knowing I am in for it now.
"You know what Edward I am getting just a teensy bit tired of your brooding bad boy act. You never smile or laugh anymore and you spend entirely to much time alone." That's it, I cant fucking take it anymore, I jump out of bed and grab her around the waist setting her outside my bedroom door.
"You know what Alice, alone is only alone if you get the hell out of here. Why don't you take a fucking hike so I can fulfill my brooding bad boy persona ok." I slam the door and lock it waiting for the inevitable response.
"Get your ass downstairs Edward, mom is waiting for you and the next time you decide to man handle me in the morning make sure you have taken care of your business cause my foot touched your morning wood and that's just disgusting!" I shrugged to myself, ok then, time to take care of business and might as well multi-task and get a shower in too right!
20 minutes later I am dressed and downstairs, there is a cup of coffee and a plate of pancakes at the breakfast bar and I know they are for me. I sit down and take a sip, "Hey mom!" Esme Cullen is not really my mom, she is actually my mother's sister but she and her husband Carlisle adopted me and my sister Alice when I was 6 and Alice was 4 after our parents died in a car accident. I don't remember a whole lot about my parents but Esme and Carlisle have been the best parents a guy can ask for so I don't spend a lot of time dwelling. Esme and Carlisle have a son of their own Emmett who is the same age as me and as far as I am concerned he is my brother as much as Alice is my sister!
Esme came over and kissed me on the forehead brushing her caramel colored hair away from her face, "Edward can you do me a favor and take your dad his lunch, he forgot it this morning." My eyebrow cocked suspiciously my father never forgot anything.
"He forgot his lunch?" I asked.
Mom smiled patiently at me, "Yes Edward, he has been so stressed out about this patient that was transferred into his care last month he has been acting a little out of character lately."
"Ok," I answered, "I will take him his lunch, but what's up with this patient of his?"
My mom's expression became distressed, "She is a young girl with advanced Leukemia. Your dad thinks that they will be able to help her but she has had a lot of setbacks so he wants very much to do right by her." I was in awe of my father, he was a lot to live up to but I was hoping to get my acceptance letter to UW soon so I could begin my studies in pre-law, I know it saddened my father that I did not choose to follow in his footsteps but I just didn't feel medicine was my calling.
An hour later I was walking up to Mrs. Cope at the reception desk, I put on my best sexy smile, I loved to flirt with the older ladies at the hospital! "Hey Mrs. Cope."
"Edward, how are you dear?"
I smiled lazily, "Doing great thanks, is my father in his office?"
Mrs. Cope checked her paperwork and than answered, "Your dad is doing rounds right now, check the 3rd floor room 317 you will probably find him there." I winked at her laughing quietly as she blushed slightly and pushed away from the desk waving at her as I left and headed up the elevator.
Room 317 turned out to be a single patient room; there was a young woman in the bed with a pink scarf tied around her head. I couldn't see her face, it was turned to the side, and she was sleeping. She looked so tiny and I knew by looking at her that she was very sick. I really wanted to see her face but I knew I should leave before she woke. Just as I started leaving she turned her head and looked right at me.
"Hi" she whispered.
"Hi," I answered. I had never seen anyone so delicate or beautiful in my entire life, in that moment I would have done anything to make her better, to make her smile.
"Are you an angel, did I finally die?" she asked. I sucked in a gust of air sharply, she's dying. I had to swallow hard and clear my throat.
"I'm not an angel," I said, her lips made the cutest little O shape.
"But your so beautiful!" she said, "You must be an angel, its ok you know I have kind of been expecting you, I'm not scared!" A wave of confusion washed over me as feelings that were completely unfamiliar to me took control leaving me at their mercy. Suddenly everything that had ever happened in my life before this moment was insignificant. This beautiful girl was the only thing that mattered and I knew in an instant I was tied to her. She was looking at me with a confused expression, I realized I was staring at her; she obviously thought I was a stalker, or a moron. As my life was transforming before my eyes the door opened and my father walked in.
"Miss Swan" he said cheerily, "how are we doing today?" it was just then that he noticed me.
"Well" she answered, "I feel really bad Dr. Cullen almost like I am cheating on you," she answered with a mischievous smile.
My father laughed, why is that Miss Swan?"
"Well since the day I met you I have always thought that you were the most handsome man in the entire world, but this man walked into the room today and I am afraid he has taken your title. You know this small town is a breeding ground for amazingly attractive people!" My father laughed from deep in his belly and sat on the edge of her bed.
"Well Miss Swan, if you must cheat on me I guess I will have to excuse it just this once as I cannot deny my own son a gift so precious as yourself!" She laughed the most beautiful delicate sound I had ever heard.
"I should have known that my very own angel could only be the product of your DNA Dr. Cullen."
"Miss Swan if you would excuse me for just a moment I am going to step out and speak with my son."
"Sure sure" she laughed, "I will just wait for you here!"
I followed my father out into the hall and he put a hand on my shoulder, "Its good to see you Edward, what brings you here today?"
I held up the lunch bag dumbly, "Mom wanted me to bring your lunch."
He laughed softly, "Would you mind leaving it in my office for me?"
"Uhhh sure, hey what's wrong with her?"
My father's face became serious and full of concern, "Isabella is very sick Edward, she has leukemia and her prognosis has been very grave for sometime. We have recently made some progress however so I am a little optimistic."
I looked at my watch, "Visiting hours started 2 hours ago, why isn't there anyone here with her?" I studied my dad's face he was a little sad.
"She doesn't have anyone Edward, every once in a while she has a friend who is away at college come and visit while home on vacation but her parents died relatively recently so she is all alone." I felt like there was a hand on my heart squeezing, I looked up into my fathers kind eyes and thankfully he threw me a life jacket, "I know your really busy Edward but I would consider it a personal favor to me if your could come by now and than and keep her company."
I pretended to consider his request for a moment and than nodded, "I will be back tomorrow" he smiled and patted me on the back, thank you son please don't forget to leave my lunch in my office!
My father went back into Isabella Swan's room and I watched them through the window of the door for a few moments. They talked and laughed as my father took her vitals, this was certainly a nurses job which told me just how attached he had become to this wisp of a girl. I started to feel bad for watching even though I knew my father was aware of my presence, I decided to busy myself with a day trip to Seattle.
Several hours later I sat in my favorite coffee shop in Seattle, Vivace. I was trying to sort out some of the feelings that had overcome me this morning by writing them down in my journal but after sitting in that coffee shop for 3 hours I had written only one sentence.
'The one thing I know for certain is that once you walk into Isabella Swan's life your in for good.'
Why did I feel so drawn to her? It was less than 5 minutes for fucks sake! I felt my phone vibrate from my bag for about the 20th and slammed my journal shut, better get home before Alice had a coronary.
The next morning I woke up early, I was showered dressed and downstairs for breakfast by 7:30 and my breakfast was at the breakfast bar. I cocked my brow at my mom looking at the plate, she giggled a little in response, "I just had a feeling you would want to be at the hospital as soon as visiting hours began!" she said touching my face tenderly. I wasn't sure what to say not being great with showing emotion or any kind of shit like that so I just muttered a barely recognizable
"Ummm thanks mom," very fucking smooth!
I almost swallowed my breakfast whole and was walking out the door as Alice came bouncing down the stairs, "Eeeeeeedwaaaaaaaaard!!!!!" I didn't turn to acknowledge her I simply flipped her off as I continued to walk out the front door slamming it behind me as I heard her whine, "Moooooooom!!!!!!" I smiled imaging the look on my midget monster sister's face as she whined to our mom.
Why the fuck would Alice of all people think that I don't smile or laugh when she was the source of the majority of my laughter? As I was pulling into a parking space at the hospital I started to wonder how Alice and Isabella would get along. Alice got along with everyone so I'm sure they would be great friends and even though Emmett could be a little scary at first, I was sure she would love him, I mean every…… What the fuck? When did I grow this fucking vagina? I shook my head trying to forget the fucking Oprah moment that just happened in my head as I made my way up to room 317.
I paused outside the door watching her through the window for a moment and again felt my whole world outside of this hospital melting away. Fuck Edward can you please get a grip so that she doesn't see you for the asstard you have obviously become. I took a breath and walked in quietly. I couldn't tell if she was sleeping, she was curled up on her side and the TV was on although the volume was so low I could barely hear it. Her head was wrapped in a pink scarf again although it was different from the one she wore yesterday. "Are you going to say hello to me angel or did you plan on just staring at me all day?" Busted, and now I am an asstard! She turned to me and smiled, and even if I hadn't wanted to I would not have been able to help myself, I smiled in return because I think I really have grown a vagina!
"Want to sit?" she gestured to a chair by her bed and I sat quietly never breaking from her gaze, she finally started laughing, the sound was delicious. "Do you speak angel?" I smiled trying to distract her from my obvious lack of intelligence.
"I brought you something," I answered fishing a bag out of my pocket and holding it out for her. She took it in her delicate hands looking at me curiously but unfolded the bag and took out the leather cord bracelet with an angel charm and she laughed, I would eat that laugh if I could. She held out the bracelet to me.
"Will you?" she asked and I took it immediately and secured it around her wrist grateful for the opportunity to touch her. Once it was on I looked up at her and her cheeks held the faintest pink stain, if she wasn't sick she would be bright fucking red, I think I had a new favorite color.
"So, what brings you here today angel?" she asked, I grinned at her.
"Edward," I said
"Ahhhh," she answered, "My angel has a name and the name is Edward, so what brings you here today Edward?" She said my name twice; I am a fucking douche it made me hard! I gestured towards the bracelet.
"A gift is only a gift upon delivery," I explained, her eyebrow furrowed.
"You could have sent it with Dr. Cullen!" She saw right through me, what the fuck! I opened my mouth to say god knows what but my father walked in to save me from my verbal vomit.
"Miss Swan how are we doing today?" This was obviously a routine for them, I was jealous. She held out her wrist.
"Edward brought me a present," She exclaimed smiling excitedly.
He fingered the angel charm and smiled at her, "That's very nice Miss Swan, I am glad the two of you are enjoying some time together," he said and raised his eyebrow at me, I scowled in response, because I am essentially a two year old.
"Dr. Cullen would it be ok if Edward took me for a walk outside today?" She looked so hopeful as she waited for my father's response.
He frowned at her, "I'm sorry Isabella, it is much to cold for you to go outside, you could catch a cold or the flu and that could seriously compromise your treatment." I watched as her face fell and I actually wanted to beat the fuck out of my own father!
"I understand" she said putting on a small smile, I could see the regret on my father's face he wanted to please her, did she have this effect on everyone?
"How about a walk around the hospital instead?" he offered and her smile grew.
"That sounds great!" and I was determined to make it the best walk around the hospital ever! My father turned to me, "Make sure she is warm, and try and stay away from the entrances and exits, they will be drafty." I nodded in agreement, "and Isabella. . ."
"I know, I know!" she interrupted him, "wear a mask."
He smiled and turned to leave, "I will be back later for your vitals, someone will be by shortly with extra blankets and a wheelchair". "Thank you Dr. Cullen!" she called after him.
She turned to me and smiled, "I think I have a crush on your dad," she said, and for the second time in my life I wanted to beat the fuck out of my dad.
I smiled at her, "That hardly seems appropriate Isabella!" I pursed my lips and gave her a look of mock disapproval.
She giggled, "Yeah well I have met your mom so I am pretty sure there is no chance at inappropriateness, and I have to say I understand why all the nurses hate her." She laughed at the look of surprise of my face, "Oh come on!" she laughed, "You really didn't know?"
"The nurses hate my mom?" I said incredulous.
She laughed again, "Of course they do, she is beautiful, sweet and smart and her husband is the most handsome man at this hospital who also happens to be very rich and faithful. They hate her!" I looked at her for a moment and we both started laughing.
"Yeah," I said shaking my head slowly, "I guess that would do it. So Isabella," I started.
"Ughhh, blah, blah blah" she stuck her finger in her mouth like she was making herself puke, "Call me Bella, your dad is the only one who calls me Isabella, I can't seem to break him of the dreadful habit."
"Bella huh, that means beautiful in Italian right?"
"W-O-W," she said stretching it into 3 syllables, "You are to smooth for your own good, I have never heard that one before!" I laughed, I really liked this girl, she was smart and funny.
"Ok than, Bella how long have you been here?"
Her eyes glazed a little like she was remembering far away things, "I have been in this hospital for a little over a month. I was at Virginia Mason in downtown Seattle for about 8 months before that". I frowned, that's a really long time to be in a hospital.
"Are you from Seattle?" I asked.
"No, I am from right here in Forks but when I fell sick they didn't have an oncologist with the necessary experience to treat me. When my Dr. retired a little over a month ago he referred me to your dad knowing I was from here and your dad is some kinda whiz or something." I was never more grateful for my father's choice of occupation than now. There was a knock at the door and the orderly came in with a wheel chair and blankets, "Thanks James!" Bella chimed, the orderly looked at her with genuine affection and answered, "Anything for you Bella!" and of course I was jealous!
I bundled her up until she barely fit in the chair, I know I over did it but there was no fucking way she was getting sick on my watch. We wound around the hospital slowly and I was surprised she seemed to know all the staff and a lot of the other patients as well, she seemed to know what I was thinking and shrugged, "I have been here a while!" she explained. We stopped in a long hallway where the length and width of the side facing outside was glass. She touched the glass and sighed looking out amongst the greenery that makes Forks, Forks. Her face had such a look of longing that I had to swallow hard to fight down the emotion that threatened to erupt.
"Edward," she whispered gesturing that I should come closer; I kneeled down beside her and brought my face mere inches from hers, "Edward will you run please?" I looked at her for a moment and grinned so big I thought my cheeks were going to crack, her responding grin was like a caress around my heart, I jumped behind her and began sprinting down the hall pushing her wheel chair in front of me, she squealed in delight and I could not help but laugh and run even faster, as we turned the corner I made the screeching tires sound and of course I slipped on the slick linoleum, she was doubled over with laughter in her chair as I scampered to right myself and resume our flight when we looked up simultaneously to find my father standing in front of us with a very disapproving look, we looked at each other a little shocked and than burst into laughter. My father smiled despite himself and than ordered us back to her room.
I helped her back into her bed carefully happy to see a little pink in her cheeks, "Thank you Edward!" she said, her eyes sparkled and I changed my mind, my new favorite color was cinnamon brown.
"Anytime" I answered and took my place in the chair by her bed, "So what do you do in here all day Bella?"
She sighed, "Not much," she answered, "The hospital library is seriously lacking and you can only watch so many episodes of the Real Housewives before you lose faith in humanity and write off TV all together!"
I laughed and nodded in agreement, "What do you do for fun Edward?"
"That's a good question, I answered, if you ask my sister I am no fun so there you go."
"Tell me about your sister" she prompted.
I laughed, "Her name is Alice and she is 4'8", 89 pounds and a force of nature!"
Bella laughed, "She sounds like fun!"
I smiled, "Yeah she is but never tell her I said that, she is a fireball of energy, we forbid her to drink caffeine and seriously limit her sugar intake for fear that she might actually start bouncing off the walls and knock the house down!"
Bella laughed again, "Tell me more!"
"Well, I said Alice is a sophomore at Fork's High School, she volunteers at the rec center teaching the kids arts and crafts as well as dance. She has short, dark, spiky hair and never stops so we have a slew of derogatory names for her which include fairy, munchkin, midget, elf, pixie and when she is being really annoying, troll!" Bella's laughter just kept coming and I was grateful to be the cause so I continued.
"I also have a brother Emmett who is my age,"
"Wait," she interrupted, is he your twin?"
"Noooooooooo!" I laughed," Carlisle and Esme adopted Alice and I after our parents died, Esme is actually my aunt."
Bella's face became very serious, "Edward, I am so sorry!" Her bottom lip puckered and she bit into it, I stared into the depths of her eyes and realized she was sad because she thought she hurt me. I wanted to punch myself in the balls, no matter how inadvertent I never wanted to be the cause of her sadness. I smiled softly running the pad of my thumb over her bottom lip, she released it immediately.
"Hey, none of that," I whispered, "They aren't going to let me come back if I am making you sad!"
She didn't like that, I could tell by the way her shoulders stiffened, "I would check out of this shoddy establishment tomorrow and take my business elsewhere if they tried to keep you from visiting," she said jutting her chin out stubbornly, I was hard again.
"Anyway, back to Emmett," I said, "Emmett is HUGE, he looks like one of those weight lifter guys in the Olympics, and he is really tall so he can look really scary but he is just a huge teddy bear. He is the friendliest guy I have ever known and takes a genuine interest in everyone he meets. He is hoping to attend UW next year and eventually wants to get a degree in sports medicine although I have a suspicion that he wants to do that for all the free games he would get to see if he is hired by a professional sports team."
"He sounds great!" Bella said her eyes drooping a little. I felt a pang in my stomach, I had to leave so she could rest and that made me sad.
"Bella, I think I better go so you can rest!"
She sighed, "I know" she said with regret and was pensive for a moment, "Edward will you do me a favor?" I would slam my dick in a door if you asked me to! "Sure Bella, what is it?"
She looked nervous, "I know we just met and all so if this is to creepy I will totally understand if you say no ok!" Yeah, not fucking likely!
"Ok, what is it? I asked curiously. She was biting her lip again which made me hard as I imagined kissing it better.
"Would you mind bringing me some things from my house?" I remembered what my father said yesterday, she had no one, she had not been home in over 9 months! I felt that hand gripping my heart again.
"Sure Bella, tell me what you need and I will bring it to you!" She took a notepad from beside her bed and made a list with her address at the bottom and handed it to me. I smiled at her and said, "I will be here tomorrow at 8."
She frowned, "Edward, it's your Christmas vacation, sleep in a little!
"Sure sure," I said mimicking the condescending answer she gave my father yesterday, "See you at 8AM tomorrow" I said grinning at her, she grinned in return as I left.
As I walked down the hall away from her room I started to feel empty and I realized why I was so drawn to Isabella Swan from the moment I set eyes on her, she was everything that I was missing, she filled a hole in me that I hadn't realized existed. I shook my head as if trying to rid myself of those thoughts; I sat in my car for several moments before starting it up thinking over the day that I had, committing all of it to memory. As the glow Bella immersed me in started to fade I started the car, I was going to pick Alice up and we would go directly to Isabella Swan's house.