Notes: Obviously I've got NatEdd on the brain. This prompt was written out weeks ago for applepencil on tumblr for winning a 100th follower contest. It just took an influx of NatEdd fanart on tumblr to give me the inspiration to write it!
Also, my family is going to the zoo today, so there's that. I hope you enjoy! Nathan Kedd Goldberg belongs to c2ndy2c1d!
Nathan Kedd Goldberg had flawless plans. They always worked. 100%.
That was precisely why he found himself texting Kevin and Double D simultaneously from a blocked number.
He couldn't remember exactly when he decided this was a good idea, but it was too late to back out of it, now. He'd watched his best friend shoot googly eyes at the class genius for weeks and he was fed up with it. Besides, what did Kevin see in that sockhead, anyway? Yeah, he was clever and his gap-toothed smile had some redeemable qualities, but he was kind of a smart mouth and hung around with this Eddy kid who had a tendency to be a douchebag.
Nat's plan was simple: to somehow coax Kevin and Double D to a surprise date to the zoo. He thought about sending them to the movies, but it was his experience that two hours staring at a screen and not at each other was counterproductive. The zoo was a perfect experience. They could bond over the elephants or something. Watch some giraffes poop. Perfect.
Kevin appeared hesitant in his texts at first, mostly because he assumed it was Eddy trying to scam him out of something. Double D jumped at the idea but only because he "thoroughly enjoyed the observation of once wild animals in a docile environment." Nat had to roll his eyes. Double D was totally in it for the learning and not the sucking face. He should have known.
And yet, when the time came for Nat's two test subjects to arrive at the rendezvous point, only Double D arrived. Nat watched from his position in the bushes as Double D paced awkwardly in front of a park bench and sighed loudly at his cell phone.
Annoyed at Kevin for being late, Nat opted to try and text him just to see where he was when his phone happened to light up with a text from none other than the redhead himself.
Apparently Kevin's father wasn't happy with his grades and grounded him.
Who grounded a senior in high school? Was that possible?
Nat was going to have a talk with Kevin about sneaking out of the house or possibly just doing his damn homework for once. In either case, that meant he had to tell Double D that the impromptu date was off.
Except… the poor guy looked so lost. Like maybe he wanted to see the monkeys but he also wanted to spend quality time with Kevin. It darn near broke Nat's heart so he could only do the next best thing—
-which was to step out of his hiding spot nearby and pretend to be talking on his cellphone. Nat was clearly the King of Smooth.
"—Oh yeah, man. I got the goods. Just shoot me a twenty and I'll get them to ya ASAP. Smencils don't come cheap, you know. And they stink up my entire fucking backpack so don't skip out on m- OH hey, man, I gotta go." Nat switched off his phone and stuffed it into his pocket. He secretly wished for a flip phone because it would make his entire act seem so much more plausible. It was hard to pretend-talk on a smart phone. "Double D! Fancy meeting you here!"
"Nathan," Double D side-eyed him. "In the middle of a park? In the middle of the day?"
"I like to walk and talk. Cardio, you know," Nat swung his arms about. Oh yeah, Double D didn't suspect a thing.
"In denim?" Maybe.
"Gotta look good all the time," Nat even completed his statement with his trademark grin. Double D continued to narrow his eyes at Nat and checked his phone a few times. Nat took that as his opportunity to jump on the subject at hand. "You waiting for someone?"
"I am supposed to meet someone here," Double D began, "But it appears he is late. Or perhaps, not coming at all."
"Ah, the old stand-up," Nat clapped his hands together and rubbed them. "Want me to wait with you?"
"That is not necessary, Nathan," Double D waved him off. "I am perfectly capable of—"
"Nonsense," Nat interrupted him. It was his fault Double D was out there, anyway. "If whoever it is doesn't show, then you and I can hang out."
"Don't you have a prior engagement?"
Nat stared at Double D, confused. He continued to stare until the filing cabinet in his brain finally located just whatever the fuck it was that Double D was talking about. "Oh! On the phone! Yeah, it's cool. He can wait."
"In that case," Double D shrugged. "I see no problem in you waiting with me. Should my date arrive, we will go about our business as usual. And should he refuse to make an appearance, I suppose spending the afternoon with you will not be too much of a chore."
"A chore? You kidding me?" Nat scoffed and took a seat on the bench that Double D had been pacing in front of. "I'm fucking awesome. Trust me, I'm probably a much better date than K—than whoever it is."
Double D gave Nat a look that probably said he knew more than he was letting on, but he stopped his pacing and sat down next to Nat on the bench. "How kind of you to offer your time for a mere classmate."
"It's no problem, man," Nat grinned. "I can't just leave you here alone if you're being stood up. I've been there. It sucks balls."
"You're so accommodating."
All of Double D's words sounded nice on the outside, but they dripped with a bit of false kindness, like maybe it was him who was playing the joke on Nat. Nat had sarcasm radar—he could spot a sarcastic comment from a mile away. He needed to get Double D off his trail, and fast.
"Soo…," Nat tried, "Who is standing you up?"
"Well, no one I hope," Double D grinned.
Ugh, so literal. "Let me re-phrase that. Who are you waiting for?"
"Ah," Double D said, his voice smug. "You should be more specific, Nathan. But to answer your question: Kevin."
"My Kevin?" Nat tried so hard to look surprised. He really did. It was just super hard when Double Genius practically had X-ray vision and could see into Nat's brain.
"You wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?" Double D asked. He sounded coy. Could that little bitch pull off coy? He was turning out to be a better challenge for Nat than he thought. No wonder Kevin liked talking to him. Double D kept Nat on his toes.
"Nope. No siree. Didn't even tell me he was going out with you. Jerk." The jerk bit was a nice touch, Nat thought.
"I see," Double D nodded and turned away to look down the path—probably looking for Kevin. He seemed so calm, so serene. Like it didn't bother him one way or another that Kevin was totally standing him up. Didn't he like Kevin? Nat was pretty sure Double D liked Kevin. There were signs, after all! Notes being passed! And looks! And secret smiles! Nat saw them, he really did!
Rather than grumble to himself about how weird Double D was for not crying on his shoulder about lost loves, Nat decided it was probably in his best interest to just change the subject and enjoy himself because it wasn't every day he got to spend time outside of school with someone who wasn't Kevin.
"Want me to text him? See where he is?" Nat offered. There was no harm in that. He could text Kevin from his unblocked number. It wouldn't be unusual at all for him to be bothering Kevin on a Saturday afternoon for his whereabouts.
Double D sighed and put away his own cell phone. "That won't be necessary. I am fairly certain he will not be arriving, if he has not already." Suddenly his demeanor changed slightly, like he wasn't as sure of himself anymore as he swung his legs nervously back and forth on the bench. "Are you sure you still wish to accompany me for the afternoon?"
"Well, yeah," Nat said. "It's the least I can do, right? You probably had some awesome day planned and Kevin ruined it so it's up to Captain Nat to save the day!" Nat inwardly cringed. He was the worst wingman, ever. Wasn't he supposed to be hooking those two up? He was supposed to be saying wonderful things about Kevin, not calling him a jerk. He quickly remedied his folly. "I mean, er, I'm sure he has a perfectly valid reason for not being here."
"I'm sure he does," Double D echoed. "I'm just not sure you have a perfectly valid reason for being here."
Think fast, Nat. "Well, originally, cardio, remember? And now it's my sworn duty as your friend to accompany you throughout your day and cheer you up, yeah?" Nat felt like he was in an interview.
Double D swallowed thickly. Nat only did that when he was nervous. Was Double D nervous? The very thought made Nat want to fawn all over him. "I was unaware of our friendship," Double D murmured.
"Hey, any friend of Kevin is a friend of mine," Nat pointed out. While it was true that he and Double D hadn't been the very best of friends, it wasn't like they were complete strangers, either. Nat had spoken to him a few times in the past, but it was always around Kevin. Sure, Double D was usually very polite, but wasn't he always? Sometimes? Mostly? Nat just kind of assumed Double D wasn't an asshole because Kevin spoke highly of him, but he could be wrong. He hoped he was wrong. Double D didn't look like an asshole.
"If that is the case, then I hope you are not opposed to the city's zoological park?"
"The what."
"The zoo."
"I know what you meant. Who the fuck calls it that?"
"That's actually the proper name for it. You didn't know?"
Nat took back everything he'd said about Double D not being an asshole. He very clearly was. Nat narrowed his eyes at him. "I wasn't opposed to it until just now. You're ruining it for me."
To Nat's surprise, Double D burst out into a fit of giggles and Nat's anger couldn't help but slowly ebb away. He desperately fought internally to keep his angry emotions, but they wouldn't stay. Fucking giggles. Nat had half a mind to shut Double D up with his hand. Or his foot. Or his face. "Let's just head out, shall we? There are a number of exhibits I wished to see today."
"Awesome," Nat found himself saying even though the idea of staring at bored animals didn't exactly appeal to him. It would have been slightly more fun if he'd been going with someone who didn't make him feel like an idiot. And Kevin liked this guy? Weird.
-8-8-
As it turned out, Double D didn't have any method of transportation. Apparently he'd been expecting to hitch a ride off Kevin's bike. Nat hadn't really prepared himself for a long day's journey at the zoo. He was only going to spy on the rendezvous point to make sure the initial transaction went smoothly. Because of this, they had to resort to riding public transportation which obviously meant having to sit shoulder to shoulder on a crowded bus and try not to rub too hard against each other every time the bus hit a bump.
Nat knew offhand that Double D didn't like being touched so intimately, or in this case, not-so-much-intimate-as-it-was-forced. If Double D were Kevin, Nat wouldn't feel so overwhelmed just by sitting next to him. He could feel tiny beads of perspiration on the back of his neck and he just knew that once they were off the bus, he'd feel the sweat from under his arms. Way to make him feel uncomfortable the rest of the day, useless bodily functions.
Double D, at least, had opted for a window seat and decided it was going to be a good idea to point out everything in his view along the way. His inherit enthusiasm was actually a little endearing. It helped Nat keep his mind off the fact that every time the bus made a right turn, he was practically squishing Double D against the window.
"I'm a little surprised," Nat said after the third stop had him practically sitting in Double D's lap, "that you even suggested taking the bus. Don't you hate this kind of thing?"
"There are pros and cons to every method of transportation," Double D said matter-of-factly. "It is important that we strive for a more fuel efficient economy. Surely I can withstand a few minutes on a crowded bus if it means keeping our planet a little healthier."
"If you wanted to be this close to me, you could have just said," Nat deadpanned.
Double fell quiet and just looked out the window. Confused, Nat wanted to press further, but he somehow felt it was overstepping boundaries. He'd only been teasing—it was in his primary nature to tease. He hadn't meant anything by it. Should he apologize?
Before Nat could say anything, Double D suddenly gasped and pointed out the window, "The signs are getting closer together; we're almost there!"
Nat leaned across Double D to get a better look out the window. Huh. The ride was a bit shorter than he thought. Signs for the City Zoo lined nearly every lamp-post on the main street toward the attraction as if motorists couldn't see them clearly enough. Nat had to give the advertising people props, though, because at least each sign showcased a different animal.
…which obviously meant Double D had to point out the Latin names of each species as they passed by.
"How do you keep all of that in your brain?" Nat wondered out loud.
Double D gave Nat a sheepish look. "How many song lyrics do you have memorized?"
"Touché," Nat shrugged. So Latin names were his song lyrics. That was fine by Nat. It actually gave him a little better perspective on the inner workings of Double D's mind, though. Maybe he didn't know the lyrics to any songs and just sort of hummed the tune so that it would save space on the hard drive of his mind for silly things like panthera leo.
Once they were given the okay to disembark, the two teens stepped onto the asphalt and immediately gave each other enough elbow room to stretch their arms. Nat really hoped the bus wouldn't be that crowded on the way back—especially since there was a good chance he'd be a sweaty mess if they had to walk everywhere in the Late Fall heat. Nat remembered when Octobers used to be jacket and sweater weather, not air conditioner weather. On the bright side, he could always buy an overpriced frozen lemonade, so not all was lost.
"Before we go in," Double D said as he gazed up at the completely overdone Zoo entrance. "I want to get a picture of us at the front. Hold on while I find someone."
Nat raised an eyebrow. A picture? "Make sure they get my good side!" He called after Double D who only gave him a thumbs up in reply.
He returned a few short seconds later with an older gentleman who gladly snapped a photo of Double D and Nat, once again, standing shoulder to shoulder. When the camera was returned to Double D, the first thing he did was study the picture under the harsh glare of the sun.
"It's good enough," Nat said, hoping to hurry Double D along to the ticket counter. "I'm in the picture, I make every picture awesome."
"Yes, but I wanted to be sure he didn't cut off our heads or our feet," Double D muttered as he tried to cover his camera review screen enough to allow him to see the picture. Direct sunlight was a bitch to LED screens.
"Here," Nat sighed and finally offered his assistance. He cupped his hands around the screen so that Double D could lean in and take a peek. Somewhere along the way, Double D's reluctance for human contact had been squashed away—probably because he'd been flooded with Nat on the bus trip there, but he didn't even bat an eyelid before burying his face in Nat's hands.
"Perfect!" came Double D's muffled voice. He pulled his face from the makeshift darkroom of Nat's hands and grinned up at him. "You have a lovely smile, Nathan."
"I could have told you that," Nat said automatically, but he couldn't help standing a little taller. Compliments from anyone, no matter who they were, were always something to feel good about.
And really, Double D wasn't so bad. Nat had no idea why he was holding such a grudge about the entire thing. Was he really just mad that Kevin liked him? It was kind of petty on his part because Double D was a really cool guy, even if he did actually have a strap for his camera and wore it around his neck like some god awful tourist. It was adorable, in a way.
Nat decided then and there that he was going to stop thinking of Double D as the class genius and fungi enthusiast and start thinking of him as a guy he'd really like to get to know. Maybe this pretend date was a blessing. Double D seemed to be making the best of it—why couldn't Nat?
"Ticket time?" Nat offered when he felt Double D had taken enough pictures of the zoo's front entrance decorations. Double D calmly put his camera down and nodded. Once they reached the front gate, Nat pulled his billfold from his back pocket faster than Double D could rummage through his fanny pack.
Honestly. A fanny pack.
It had been hiding under Double D's baggy red shirt so Nat hadn't noticed, but when he did, he had to stifle a snort and it set him into a slight coughing fit.
Double D frowned at Nat's reaction. "Are you allergic to something, Nathan?"
"Yeah, probably," Nat choked. He wiped a tear from his eye and booted Double D to the side with his hip. "Let me pay for the tickets today. To apologize on Kevin's behalf."
"How kind of you, Nathan," Double D said and stepped back with such flare that Nat thought he must have imagined how know-it-all Double D sounded. If it he didn't know any better, Double D might have expected Nat to pay.
He couldn't have known about the whole Kevin thing, right? Impossible.
Nat did his guilt-ridden duties and coughed up the money for their tickets and handed the stubs to Double D who tucked them both away into his fanny pack, zipped it up, and re-positioned his shirt over the atrocious accessory.
Nat watched the entire process and finally had to ask, "A fanny pack, Double D?"
"They're extremely useful."
"And extremely ridiculous."
"So are popped collars," Double D pointed out.
Instinctively, Nat reached for the collar of his white undershirt but instead of smoothing it down, he tried to pop it up even more. "Popped collars are stylish, I'll have you know."
"And hip pouches are convenient," Double D reiterated. "Having established that, I would like to see the hoofed mammals, first. Their habitats are to the right. Would you be opposed to seeing the whole park in a counter clockwise fashion? It will bring us the maximum enjoyment and shelter from the sunlight as well as the least wear and tear on footwear due to the terrain."
"Did you study this place before you left?"
"I memorized the map and topography if that's what you are implying."
Nat whistled, clearly impressed. "Man, I need to take you everywhere. You're fucking brilliant."
Despite probably hearing this statement over and over again, Double D actually blushed and turned around just so that Nat couldn't see the blush—but he totally did. He did and he cherished it because making anyone blush was just about the funnest thing to do. Ever.
Double D cleared his throat. "Shall we?"
"Lead the way, navigator," Nat teased, but it was in good faith. To have such a well-balanced inner compass was nothing to poke fun at. That could be useful if they were ever, say, lost at sea.
As it turned out, hoofed mammals had a really broad category. Nat figured they were just going to look at antelopes or cows or something, but apparently giraffes, zebras and weird animals Nat had never heard of counted as well.
They came to a particularly obscure mammal that looked like nature threw up some leftover parts and called it a day.
"That," Nat said to the animal munching on some really dry looking veggies, "Is just about the most ridiculous thing I've seen all day next to your fanny pack."
Double D brushed the rude comment aside as if it never happened. Nat got the feeling he probably heard shit like that all the time. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, though, and figured he should probably think about it later. Much later. Or at all, really. "That's an Okapi. Okapia johnstoni."
"Johnstoni?" Nat repeated. "Now you're just making shit up."
"No really," Double D giggled and pointed to the sign. "It was named for the explorer who took a specimen back to Europe with him to study."
Nat squinted and tilted his head. "It looks like a giraffe-cow-zebra-moose."
Double D's giggling didn't stop and when Nat finally pulled his gaze from the giraffe-cow-zebra-moose, he couldn't help but watch Double D's face light up with his laughter. Sure, Nat had seen the guy laugh before, but it was never like this. Never this intimate.
Before a blush actually crept up on Nat's cheeks, he turned away quickly. "Well it does."
"I agree," Double D nodded and pulled away from the railing. "The elephants are next. I heard one of them is pregnant. How fascinating!"
One of the elephants was indeed pregnant. If Nat thought a normal, non-pregnant elephant was huge, then seeing one halfway along was another statement entirely. How did that thing even walk? Double D had out his camera and was meandering in between other patrons just to get different angles. The bulbous gray blob in front of him was hard to look at mostly because it looked painful, so Nat much preferred to watch Double D instead.
Double D's enthusiasm for the zoo was refreshing. Nat kind of felt bad for thinking ill of him earlier. Here he thought the zoo would be the perfect date spot, but it was turning out to be just another learning opportunity—and it wasn't even that bad. The way Double D described everything made Nat actually enjoy learning.
Maybe this was what Kevin saw in Double D: the potential to see the world in a different point of view. Nat had been hesitant at first, but, really, why should he be?
Double D had been nothing but kind to him and here Nat was poking fun at him at every turn. He really needed to step up his friendship game, because just paying for tickets wouldn't be enough.
Nat pushed himself from the wall on which he was leaning and moved directly behind Edd so that he could reach around and lower his camera. "Come on, Double D, I think the poor elephants have had enough paparazzi for one day."
Double D turned around, which Nat hadn't been expecting. Their faces were so close and their fingers brushed on top of the camera where they met. Something twisted in Nat's lower gut and he pulled back quickly. He knew his face was red and he couldn't stop it.
With a grin, Double D quickly held up his camera and took a picture of Nat's embarrassment.
"Having fun?" Double D asked, his voice once again coy.
Nat practically glared at the sock-head. He wanted to be coy, did he? If Nat didn't know any better, he'd say that Double D was trying to flirt with him. In fact, he probably was flirting—but to what gain? Purposely? Accidentally? As a joke? Either way, two could play at that game.
"Tons," Nat answered and immediately snaked an arm around Double D's waist so that he could effectively lead him away from the elephant habitat.
Double D didn't pull away, which was the first thing Nat noticed. The second was that he actually leaned in to Nat's side like he'd been hoping for this. Nat could practically feel the body heat rise between them.
Well, that had been unexpected. The worst part (or possibly best) was that Nat couldn't even pull away. He didn't want to. He actually enjoyed the way they kind of fit well together. And, really, it turned out Double D's fanny pack was useful for hooking Nat's thumb through so that he could casually keep his arm around Double D without tiring himself out. Lazy flirting. So awesome.
As the day progressed, the two of them took the unspoken game further.
At the aquarium, Double D took hold of Nat's hand and helped point out the various fish so that they would see them from the same line of sight.
At the monkey house, Nat imitated the chimpanzees by pretending to pick food out of Double D's hat and eat it so often that Double D began to swat Nat's hand away. By the fifth time, Double D simply took hold of Nat's hand and didn't let go.
They held hands all through the Herpitarium. Nat had no idea when their fingers laced themselves together, but he wanted to take credit for that one.
As they made their way down the path to the outdoor bear habitats, Double D let go of Nat's hand for the first time, but only enough to take out his camera and look around again.
Nat's hand felt a little cold and empty without Double D's surrounding it. Somewhere along the way, he'd forgotten they weren't flirting for real and actually became accustomed to Double D's voice next to his ear. "Looking for a picture spot?" he prompted.
"I couldn't take photos inside any buildings," Double D explained. "I'd like to make up for it, now. Ah!" he pointed toward a couple walking on the other side of the path and hurried toward them.
When he returned a few seconds later, he scurried to Nat's empty side and leaned in to him. Thankful for the close presence again, Nat quickly wrapped his arm around Double D's waist like it belonged there.
It wasn't until Double D placed his head on Nat's shoulder for the picture that Nat felt his heart really start to pound in his chest. The couple that took their picture smiled widely at them as they handed back the camera. Nat swore he heard them say what a cute couple he and Double D made.
Nat's arm was still around Double D's waist as he reviewed the picture. If Nat thought his heart wanted to leap from his chest before, when Double D held up the camera so that Nat could see, his heart wasn't even beating anymore. It was doing somersaults.
They looked really good together. Nat was only slightly taller than Double D, but it worked for them. The way they were smiling made it look that they were a genuine couple, too. Nat wasn't even sure if he was faking it anymore.
"It looks good," Nat said eventually. He figured it was up to him to say something.
"Doesn't it?" Double D agreed. He let his camera drop around his neck, but he was still looking up at Nat. "I think it captures the day perfectly."
What, Nat thought to himself, the kind of day where the two of them pretended to be flirting for whatever strange reason? Then again, the day was kind of built on lies in the first place. It was fitting for the two of them to spend the rest of the day swimming in lies, right? Then why did Nat feel so shitty about it? He needed this to stop before either of them actually got hurt. It was fun while it lasted, but he needed to bring himself back to the universe where he and Double D were just friends and not… whatever this was. "It's too bad I'm not Kevin, right?"
The smile slowly faded from Double D's face. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You were supposed to go on this date with Kevin," Nat said slowly. "And instead you got me."
Double D was quiet for a second. His eyes flitted around Nat's face and all Nat could think about was that he was probably counting his freckles. "I'm glad I'm here with you," he said eventually. He brought his gaze up to meet Nat's. "I think, given all the options, I've been left with the best case scenario."
He smiled, then, causing Nat's own eyes to move from Double D's eyes to the gap in his teeth and then he was gone, making his way down the path. "Come on, Nathan!" he called. "I want to see the Great American Black Bear! Ursus Americanus!"
Nat wanted to stand there and think about what Double D had said. Surely there had to be a larger meaning behind it, right? He couldn't just take things at face value, because if he did, then that meant that Double D would rather be at the zoo with Nat than with Kevin which made absolutely no sense at all.
Then again, he wasn't particular broken up about Kevin's no-show.
Double D stopped walking long enough to reach a hand behind him and wiggle his fingers and that was all the incentive Nat needed to tell his brain to shut the fuck up and catch up with Double D—just so that they could lace their fingers together where they belonged.
End of Part I.