Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ. This story is written for the amusement of readers, not profit.
Notes: I would like to thank nunu for giving me the idea of turning a random thought I had into a fic. (to nunu: I enjoy thanking people for things in fics. For some reason it always happens to be you)
"Oh no, Mr. Piccolo!" Gohan cried, watching as yet ANOTHER enemy attacked the Earth. Since Goku had died during the Cell Games, he was not there to help. This left only Gohan, Piccolo, Vegeta and the mediocre Z-Fighters to destroy the enemy.
"Buahahahaa!" The evil being laughed, causing the Z-fighters to cringe.
"YOU BASTARD!" Vegeta yelled, covering his ears. "THAT WAS THE WORST EVIL LAUGH I HAVE EVER HEARD!! Oh! My ears! My poor, poor ears!! YOU HAVE DISGRACED THE NAME OF EVIL PEOPLE WHO LAUGH INSANELY!"
The evil being continued in his horrible laugh. Vegeta screamed in sheer agony before finally collapsing into the dirt.
He simply could not handle such a bad laugh.
Upon seeing the fall of the Prince, Yamcha, Chiatzu and Tien went running to fight him.
The evil being played on all of their fears.
"Tien! Chiatzu is straight!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Tien.
"Chiatzu! Puar is your brother! Yes, that's right!! PUAR IS A GUY!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Chiatzu.
"Yamcha! Bulma was faking it!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" screamed Yamcha, falling to the ground as he sobbed pathetically.
Piccolo and Gohan watched as the great fighters fell, one by one.
"Oh no, Mr. Piccolo!" Gohan yelled again.
Piccolo seemed lost in thought, and he was. His inner girl (since he is asexual) kept telling him to ask for directions, but him, being a man, refused, saying he'd find his way. Of course, looking at a MAP was just foreign. She reminded him of that time he wanted to set up the new TV but wouldn't look at the manual and ended up blowing the thing sky-high in frustration. He just ignored her.
Finally realizing it was his own mind, and if he wanted to, he could leave by not thinking, he returned to reality to find he was getting the crap beaten out of him.
"I TOLD you to ask for directions!" his inner girl yelled at him. "I mean, come on! Why don't you ever liste- HEYYYY! That guy is wearing a REALLY nice outfit!"
Piccolo looked him over. It was true. Brand names, nice looking, but not too formal. Even really good shoes.
"Interesting…" He mused.
"Yeah," commented his inner girl. "Man, that guy has one hell of a fashion sense…"
Piccolo considered her words. "Hmmm…"
A light bulb appeared over his head.
"THAT'S IT!"
"What is, Mr. Piccolo!?" Gohan asked, lying in mud beside him after also getting beaten badly.
"I needed a SIXTY WATT BULB!" He cried, grabbing the light above him. "I was only using a 40! No wonder I couldn't see anything in the basement properly!"
Gohan nodded in understanding.
"Wait!" Piccolo yelled. "I've got an even better idea! And this one has to do with the evil being!"
With that, Piccolo ran towards the bad guy. "This has to work…it's the only chance we have!" he thought.
He was using one of his less-used super-powers. One of great power, great skill, and overall GREATNESS! He ran behind the evil guy, put his arm out, his palm flat against the creature's back. With an almighty cry, he powered up!!
Gohan's eyes widened as the evil one was encased in bright, blinding white light! Smoke covered everything around them, and Gohan had to shut his eyes to keep dust from making him cry. It wasn't his fault! Every time he saw dust, he was just so overwhelmed with pity that tears would spring to his eyes! Oh! How horrible life as a dust ball would be!
Finally, the smoke cleared. Gohan stared with wide eyes.
"W-What?" The evil creature said. "NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
His once amazing, stylish, trendy clothes replaced with- with- OH GOD! I CAN'T EVEN SAY IT!
(gulp) His clothes, his beautiful, beautiful clothes were replaced with THAT HORRIBLE OUTFIT GOKU WAS WEARING DURING THE TRUNKS SAGA! YOU KNOW THE ONE! THE ONE HE GOT FROM THE PLANET YARDRAT!!
OOOHHHH! THE HUMANITY!!!!
"MY CLOTHES!" the creature yelled, crying profusely. "You are an evil, evil man!" he screamed at Piccolo, running off into a space ship and fleeing the planet.
"Good job, Mr. Piccolo!" Gohan cheered.
"Yes, Gohan. But it's not me who we have to thank. It's the person responsible for giving me the awesome power of materializing clothes onto a person!"
And with that, the two of them went home.
Tien and Chiatzu got over their…differences, and still lead the happy life they had.
Chiatzu and Puar embraced their brotherhood, and Puar admitted he was a male. They now visit each other for Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving.
Yamcha sought out psychiatric help, and realized that it didn't matter if Bulma faked it. The point is; he had fun.
And Vegeta never got over the bad evil laughter. Today, when the wind blows, you can still hear him laughing as maniacally as he can, trying to erase that horrible sound from his memory.
The End.
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Don't ask. It started with me having a random thought about Piccolo's unique power to generate clothes. I kinda lost sight of that for a while there…
Um, hope you enjoyed! (though I doubt it)…(and don't flame me!)