A/N OMG that episode was brutal! You should see my blog! I wrote this pretty much as soon as it finished so it's full to the brim will angst. I wrote it while listening to 10,000 Miles by Mary Carpenter so I highly suggest doing the same as it's such a stunning song and the lyrics and mood go with this perfectly. Reviews are air so please drop us a line, even if it's just to rant about how horrid the episode was xx
His hearts felt heavy as he turned from those three, wonderful, human children and entered the TARDIS. His home. His sanctuary. The one being that had always been there, The Madman and his Box, flying forever through time and space.
He thought it would never end. That he would just continue on, meeting new people, saving the day. Hurtling onwards through the stars in the bluest of comets.
But as he closed those beautiful doors, leaning his ancient head against them for a moment, letting the faint vibrations and steady noise soothe his racing thoughts, he knew that his time was up.
So he wandered. He wandered through the ever changing, never ending corridors of his refuge, his one steady constant, and he remembered. He walked through the enormous closet, softly brushing his hand against all of his previous regeneration's clothes, laughing softly as he saw some of his more…unusual items. Really, that scarf? What had he been thinking?
Continuing on, he passed the bedrooms of each and every one of his previous companions, the TARDIS realising what he was doing and conveniently placing them all next to each other. These too he brushed his hands over, memories of them and their wonderful adventures swimming through his minds eye. He wondered if they would know, if they would feel it maybe. The ones still around anyway.
The last room he came to was his own. It was rarely used for conventional purposes, such as sleeping for instance, but behind that bright blue wooden door held all of his many knickknacks and possessions that he had collected during his years.
He entered slowly, eyes widening at what he saw. Yet again, the TARDIS had known not only what he was doing, but what he needed, and she had made his room larger than it normally was and had organised everything in there in a way that allowed him to see every glittering inch.
The walls were covered with all of the photographs, drawing and paintings he had acquired throughout his life. There were snapshots of his friends and companions, silly ones of himself in every regeneration, beautiful alien landscapes and his own sketches of friends and family on Galifrey.
He continued round the room in amazement, eyes swimming with unshed tears. The roof was a stunning projection of the universe he adored so much and each wall had shelves upon shelves of his trinkets and treasures. This was his life. His whole existence in one room. Everything he lived for was represented in here, whether it be the images on the walls, the universe overhead or the rocks on his shelves from a thousand alien lands. These were the things he was dying for.
Slowly he backed out of his treasure trove, eyes devouring every last thing they could. He would not be back here again. The TARDIS had re-arranged herself so that there was only one corridor to walk through before reaching the console room. She knew that if he stayed in her safe, protective depths any longer, he wouldn't be able to bring himself to leave.
He walked slowly towards her controls, arms stretched out as far as they could, fingers slightly brushing the walls. As he reached them, a strange mournful sound rang softly through the room, echoing off the walls and entering into his very soul. The TARDIS was crying.
He stroked the console, whispering words of comfort as he typed co-ordinates into the typewriter. He would take her to a safe place; somewhere she could shut down after he was gone and stay for eternity. The last remnant of an impossible life and an extinct race.
As they landed, the beautiful sound that he lived for seemed louder than ever. He closed his eyes and tipped back his head, listening to his beautiful machine one last time.
He looked around the room, committing to memory every beautiful inch. His hands were still on the console, stroking slightly and as he turned to leave, the mournful sound grew even louder, tugging at his hearts, begging him to stay. He turned back to the console and leaned forward, gently placing a kiss on its glittering surface.
He knew if he did not leave now, he never would. Reluctantly, he moved slowly away and turned towards the door; the last bit of protection between him and his death. He trudged ever so slowly forwards and forced himself to open them.
They were landed on top of a beautiful mountain, somewhere perfectly befitting his beautiful box. Here she would rest for all eternity, with an unparalleled view of the world around her and as close to the sky as she could get without being in it. It would be decades before anyone would make it up here, this he knew, but when they did he knew she would be the object of every child's wildest daydreams. He knew they would all sit around her and imagine what she was and where she had been. She would live on forever in the imaginations and dreams of children.
Slowly he closed those impossible blue doors for the last time, placing another kiss on them before heading off on his final journey.
"Goodbye old girl. And thank you"