Title: Yes, I'm keeping them hostage!
Author: Venus725
Summary: I wonder what would happen if a crazy fanfic author by the name of
Venus725 captured a bunch of Harry Potter and Star Wars characters and put
them in her basement? Let's find out!!!!!!
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG-13 (for now.hehehe)
Disclaimer: No, I own nothing.
Note: Hehehe. We shall have some fun with this little ficcie. Those of
you who like randomness will enjoy lots. And, if any of you reviewers are
daring enough, and also have an obsession for any character from HP or SW
that's in the story or anyone else that I might know (for a crossover), I
would happily put you in for a psycho fanfic author with an obsession.
Please do tell me.and read on:
"Well yes, but what about second breakfast?" Peregrin Took (more commonly known as Pippin), Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring
Chapter 1- Shhh.be verwy, verwy quiet.I'm hunting HP and SW chawacters.
Shhh.be verwy, verwy quiet.I'm hunting Harry Potter and Star Wars characters. Hello there, yes, I am Venus725! Today, and for many more days hopefully, I have held in my basement the following that I and many others will torture: Harry Potter, the dirty boy that lived, Draco Malfoy, the sexy sarcastic Slytherin, Ron Weasley, the poor yet handsome "Normal" guy, Hermione Granger, the brainy know-it-all Muggleborn, Neville Longbottom, the dorky ditz, Ginny Weasley, the very horny little girl that remarkably resembles Satine from Moulin Rouge, two thick cronies by the names of Crabbe and Goyle, and our lovely host, Venus725!!! (In other words, me!) Our Star Wars guest for today will be.the faithful Jedi Master (Who isn't whiny like Anakin) Obi-Wan Kenobi! We will start with a few rules.
Number 1: NO boring moments and number 2: NO making fun of the host (or co- host)! But you can ask questions for a character in your reviews, and suggestions or requests are always accepted! Now that I'm done talking, let's go to the basement and see what's happening:
Zoom Camera takes us to the basement.(a very.er.interesting room with these things: a sandy colored carpet, a wooden coffee table, a blue couch, a maroon recliner, a small bathroom, a hockey table, a TV and VCR, a lamp, all sorts of hippie things *cough, mom and dad, cough* and of course, our characters)
(All have been in a enchanted sleep.they now awaken.hehehe, this shall be fun!)
Ron: Where are we?
Harry: I dunno.looks like a muggle basement with lots of hippie junk!!!
Neville: What? Hippie junk? What's a hippie? *Scratches head*
Hermione: Never mind! *Mutters* Boys.
Ginny: (In seductive voice) I like boys.*Eyes Harry's pants*
Harry: Um.ok.maybe we should focus on something like GETTING OUT OF HERE!
Draco: For once, a Gryffindor finally had a good idea.
Crabbe and Goyle: Uh huh.
Ginny: Who are you? *Looks at Obi-Wan with a small seductive smile*
Obi-Wan: Hello. I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master. Where is my apprentice? *Looks around*
Hermione: OH MY GOD!!!!! OBI-WAN!!!!!!!!!
Harry: Hermione.calm down.he's just from Star Wars.
Ginny and Ron: Oh, yeah, those Muggle movies.
Draco: Yeah, whatever.*Sigh* Where the hell are we, and who in god's name put us here?
Deep Voice: It was I.*Breathes in and out, deeply, in and out, deeply*
Hermione and Harry: James Earl Jones?
Voice: NO!!! Venus725, crazy fanfic author! *Takes away voice modifier* Duh!
Neville: Where are you? Where are we? What happened? What did you do?
Venus725: I'm glad I put you down as a dorky ditz.
Neville: I'm not a dorky ditz! *Stands up, fist raised, and trips*
Venus: Yeah, sure.*Rolls eyes* I'm up here, writing this very fic as we speak. And you are in my very scary basement/family room. I'm very sorry about the hippie stuff *Cough.mom and dad.cough*. Anyway, for my own sick pleasure, you are stuck here.till I let you go!!!!!!!!!! HAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry: She is insane.
Venus: Yeah.but you can't talk, Scarhead!
Draco: I kind of like her.
Venus: Really? *Comes down into basement* I think your dead sexy. *Bats eyelashes*
Draco: *Stands and bows* I'm very flattered. *Puts on his ever so sexy "bad- boy" smile*
Venus: And Obi-kins!!!! *Runs to Obi-Wan and gives him a hug*
Obi-Wan: *Being hugged* You're cute, but I'm a bit too old for you. Besides, that would be against the code.
Venus: *Sigh* that's okay.because there's still Ron and Draco!!!!!
Draco: (In shock) Weasley?
Ron: (In shock) Me? *All eye him* I mean, yeah, me, of course me!!!
Venus: He makes me laugh.
Draco: Oh.
Venus: And you make me drool.*Prepares to drool*
Draco: *Smirks* Hehehe.I am a ladies man.and a chic magnet.actually, I'm downright adorable.
Ron: You sound a little pompous, too.
Draco: *Eyes start to flash*
Harry: Bet no one in here is as vain as you, Malfoy.
Venus: *Puts mirror away*
Ginny: *Puts brush away*
Obi-Wan: *Puts shiny comlink that he was looking at for his reflection away*
Ron: Ok.we were wrong.
Venus and Ginny: What? We're girls!!!
All: *Look at Obi-Wan*
Obi: I can't help it that I'm sexy.
Venus: He's right ya know. *Smiles at Obi-Wan*
Ginny and Draco: Yeah, I guess I know what you mean.*Eye each other*
Draco: You're not sexy.
Ginny: Then who is? Not you!
Venus: I am!
All: *Stare*
Venus: Hey, I look like Natalie Portman, only tanner and taller! What could be sexier besides Halle Berry? Man, I wish I looked like her.I could get Hayden then.(Wow.that sounded odd.maybe I should watch what I say from now on.)
Ron: She has a point.
Obi-Wan: Natalie Portman?
Venus: Senator Amidala, Obi-kins.
Obi: Oh.
Draco: I AM TOO SEXY!!!!!
Ginny: NO YOUR NOT!!!!
Draco: YES I AM!!!!!!!!
Ginny: NO YOUR NOT!!!!!
Venus and Obi-Wan: Yeah he is.
All: *Look at Obi-Wan*
Neville: I'm scared.
Venus: *Sigh* Neville, we all know your gay, so shut up!
Neville: I am not gay!
All: Yeah, sure!
Neville: Hey, Obi-Wan just said something clearly gayer than anything I've said in the last five minutes!
All: *Look at Obi-Wan again*
Obi-Wan: What? I can't help it that he's sexy!
Draco: He's got a point.
Venus: True. It's settled, Neville's gay, and Obi-kins isn't.
Harry: So, why have you captured us?
Venus: Scarhead, it's very obvious.to torture you. Well, not exactly torture you, but let others torture you with questions and other such things.I guess this is a talkshow/scary fanfic.IT SHALL BE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry: Okay then.
Ginny: Harry, wanna makeout?
Harry: NO!!!!!! *Is alarmed*
Ginny: Obi-Wan, wanna makeout?
Obi-Wan: No thank you, that's against the code.
Ginny: Ron, wanna makeout?
Ron: NO!!!!!!!!!!! MY SISTER IS A F**CKING WEIRDO!!!!!!!!! THAT'S INCEST!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!! *Starts to sob*
Venus: Hehe.*Cough* Luke, Leia *Cough* Ooh.*Walks over to him in recliner* There, there, baby. *Rocks him back and forth* It's okay. *Gives him a big hug and small kiss on the cheek*
Ron: *Stops crying* Thanks. *Blows nose with the handkerchief she was holding out for him*
All: *Stare blankly*
Venus: I take advantage of HOT people when they're sad.
Ron: I've been used.COOL!!!!!!!
Draco: What an idiot.
Harry: Do you hear something?
Ron: Yeah.sounds like a ringing.
Draco: It's called a doorbell, you numbskulls.*rolls eyes*
Venus: Ooo.my buddy is here!!!!!!! (Runs upstairs, then comes back down with a short girl with blonde hair, a few freckles, and blue eyes)
Venus: Guys, this is my best friend Alex!!!!!!!
Alex: Hello.*Sees Draco Malfoy* OH MY GOD, DRACO!!!!!! *Runs to him and starts to pester him*
Venus: Uhh.she's a big fan of Tom Felton a.k.a. Draco Malfoy.she's more of a fan than even I am.and that's scary.
Draco: *Panicked* Get her off of me, please!!!!
All except Venus: *laugh*
Venus: It's not funny, guys.poor Draco.and Alex.Alex, get off of him, he won't like you if you're a crazy fan girl, trust me, I know from experience!
Alex: *Stops and stands* Ohh.*Smiles at Draco and puts out a hand* Nice to meet you, please excuse my behavior.
Draco: *Shakes her hand with an uneasy smile* Sure.
Venus: Good.Alex will be my co-host.but I still want guest fanfic co-hosts too.*Smiles at all reviewers* You all will receive cookies for reviewing!!!!!! *Hands cookies to reviewers*
Alex: Wait, I want a cookie, too.
Venus: No, these are for the reviewers.
Alex: F*** YOU THEN!!!!!
Reviewers: Mmmmm.yummy.*Take cookies*
Venus: she has a cursing problem.and is also an Ozzy Osbourne fan, if you know what I mean.
Alex: I am not!
Venus: Oh right.that's me.whoops.BLOODY HELL, SHARON!
Alex: Damn straight I'm not an Ozzy freak!!!!!
All except for them: yeah.sure.
Harry: She's even crazier then the fricken' host!
Alex: Hey.I thought you were cute, you know.BUT if your gonna act like an asshole I just don't know.
Harry: You thought I was cute? FINALLY, DAMN IT!
Venus: I think you're cute too.
Harry: Then why do you pick on me?
Venus and Alex: Because you're an easy target, and it's funny.*Look at each other and do their secret handshake*
Neville: Secret handshakes are for losers!
Alex: Then what's your secret handshake, you gay wad? Neville: For the last time, I'M NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Venus: Ok, would you STOP fighting already!!!
Alex: But why? They are all such easy targets, except for Draco I mean.*bats eyelashes innocently*
Draco: I know but do you have to keep flirting, BLOODY HELL IT GETS ANNOYING!!!!!
Alex: Sorry Draco, but I can't help it if you're SEXY!!!!
Draco: I am, aren't I?
Obi-Wan: Yes you are.
All: *stare*
Obi: I'm gonna shut-up now.
Venus: Alex, we already cleared the fact that Obi-Kins isn't gay.
Alex: He said it, not me.
Venus: But you're the one that suggested it!
Alex: Yeah, and????
Ron: Wow.*stares at Alex dreamily and starts to drool* what a girl. *Drools some more*
Venus: Hey!!!! Darn.oh well.there's still hope for Harry and Draco, right?
Alex: NO!!! DRACO IS MINE!!!!!!!!!! You can have Ron. But I GET DRACO!!!! Besides I think Ron is an ugly bastard!
Venus: But Ron likes you.and you already scared Draco out of his mind.
Alex: So what.I don't give a F***!!!!!! HE'S MINE!!!!!!! Draco: No, I'm mine!!!! But you can have Potty or the Weasel, or if you want, have them both.
Venus: *Rolls eyes* yeah well, I know I don't own you, but since I'm strong in the force, have the same IQ as Hermione, and am being mentored by Yoda, Gandalf, Dumbledore, and Morpheus, then I could make you love me in a million different ways!!!!!
Alex: Not to mention she's the host and could torture you in many ways, in a way she does own you.not to mention I could also torture you because I'm the co-host and could make Venus do just about anything.
Venus: Hey.I resent that.even if it is true.oh well, I forgive you, cause you're my friend! *Huggles Alex*
Alex: thanks! *Huggles back*
All guys: *Watch intently*
Hermione: What is so interesting?
Ginny: Boys get horny when two girls hug each other, I don't know why, I mean, they're just hugging each other, and their friends.
Ron: *Stops watching and turns to them* Well, she's mostly right, I don't exactly know why I get horny when I see two girls hugging.
Boys: *Turn back into normal selves as hosts stop hugging*
Venus: Horny little bastards.
Alex: So you see, Draco, in a sense, I do own you.
Draco: Were back to this?
Venus: No, let's change the subject.
Ron: Okay.Alex, do you know how to waltz?
Alex: No.not really.kind of, I guess.why?
Ron: Um.I do.
Alex: And?
Ron: *Blushes* Can I teach you?
Alex: Why would I want to dance with a fricken' ugly redheaded bastard like you?
Ginny: I resent that, I'm a redhead!
Alex: *Gives her the finger*
Venus: Your dirtier than I thought you were.so just dance with him so he won't whine! Trust me, you don't want him to whine.*Gulp*
Alex: You dance with him!
Venus: You know I would, cause he's hot, but he likes you and asked you.so stand up and get ready to PARTAY!!!!!!!!! *Turns on waltz music*
Ron: *Stands eagerly*
Alex: Hey Ron, I'll make a deal with you, get Draco to kiss me and I'll dance with you.
Ron: Draco old buddy old pal.
Draco: Hell no.
Alex: No kiss, no dance.
Ron: Please, Draco, please.
Draco: Don't beg, you look like a dog.
Ron: Please.
Draco: Bugger off, you insolent vermin!
Alex: Damn!
Venus: But I want to use this music! Wait.can anyone teach me how to waltz?
Harry: I would, but I don't know how.
Venus: Draco.?
Draco: I would, because I'm a gentleman, but I don't want your friend to kill us.
Venus: Okay.Obi-Wan? Ron?
Ron: Hell no.your not fine like her.
Venus: You little bitch.*Starts to cry*
Draco and Harry: Ron, that wasn't nice.*Look at each other and glare*
Alex: No one talks to my friend like that you little bitchy pervert *Punches Ron*.oh wait.I got a nanogram for you: I fit iron dick.
Ron: Umm.okay.uh.let's see.carry the o.change the dick.umm.
Alex: Can't get it? It's FRICKEN IDIOT!
Venus: That's from Austin Powers in Goldmember!!!!!
Alex: I know.you're obsessed, that's how I remember.
Draco: *Celebrates* I kinda like her now.
Venus: *Teary eyes* Not as much as me though, right?
Draco: Ummm.I dunno.maybe because you weren't the one that molested me.
Venus: *Celebrates*
Alex: Hey!
Draco: Don't hurt me!
Alex: That's a turnoff.
Venus: Not for me!
Alex: You bitch, I still really like him dumbass!!!!!
Venus: I'd say really obsessed with him, but yeah, like will work too.ok, sure.But who's gonna dance with me?
Neville: I will.
Venus: Hell no!!!! Obi-Wan.please.I'm not as annoying as Anakin.if not, will you sing?
Obi-Wan: all right, but I won't sing.maybe next episode when you have reviewers.
Venus: *Sniffles* Okay.*Glares at Ron* Bitchy pervert. (Venus and Obi-Wan go to the middle of the floor and start to waltz)
Obi-Wan: One two three, one two three, one two three.
Venus: *Drooling*
Ginny and Hermione: This is romantic.
Alex: *Sneaks over to Draco and sits next to him*
Venus and Obi-Wan: *Stop dancing*
Venus: That was nice.thank you.
Obi-Wan: My pleasure.
Alex: Draco, can I be your hoe?
Draco: Well, I.
Ron: Be my hoe!
Venus: You little bitch!
Ron: Sorry, but I like blondes.*Stares at Alex* I like them because supposedly their easy.
Alex: YOU FUCKING HORNY GAY BASTARD! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR MOTHER FUCKING ASSWIPE YOU CALL A FUCKING ASS!!!!!!!! DRACO HAS AN ASS, AND YOU HAVE A FUCKING WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BITCH! FUCKER! MOTHER FUCKER! YOU CAN ROTT IN FUCKING HELL, WITH THE FUCKING DEVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND GUESS WHAT, HE PROBABLY HAS A FUCKING BETTER ASS THAN YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone except Alex and Ron: Damn.
Venus: Okay.
Ron: Umm.MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!
Draco: Maybe you can be my hoe.wait, what's a hoe?
Ginny: You don't want to know.
All: *Stare at her oddly*
Ginny: Um.I've never once in my life been a lesbian and used female or male prostitution.*Gulp*
Venus: Sure.
Alex: *cough* WHATEVER! *cough*
Draco: Wow this is getting scary.
Venus: Rigggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.t. I said it like Dr. Evil, another one of my mentors! *Puts pinky to her lips*
Alex: Uhh.yeah.
Venus: Well, this is getting scary, so we should probably let some reviewers review.
Alex: Wait, what about my cookie?????
Venus: No fucking cookie, maybe next time with some blue milk (That's right, AnakinsOnlyAngel, I like it too!) Anyways.
So that's why we need your help with questions, fights, and ideas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If there are any authors that wish to help me torture full time, please contact me through reviews, or email me at my email address, which is shown in my account! *Puts on astoundingly convincing fake British accent* Good day old chaps!!!!!!!
Venus: SAY GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!
All: Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry: *Mutters* Psychos.
Venus and Draco: Shut up, Scarhead. *Look at each other and smile*
So send in reviews with questions and ideas for those HP blokes, and of course Obi-Wan.and if you want, me and Alex.I'm warning beforehand it'll be not too pleasant, and tell me who you want the next Star Wars character(s) to be, if you don't mind.ciao!!!!!!!!!!
"Well yes, but what about second breakfast?" Peregrin Took (more commonly known as Pippin), Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Ring
Chapter 1- Shhh.be verwy, verwy quiet.I'm hunting HP and SW chawacters.
Shhh.be verwy, verwy quiet.I'm hunting Harry Potter and Star Wars characters. Hello there, yes, I am Venus725! Today, and for many more days hopefully, I have held in my basement the following that I and many others will torture: Harry Potter, the dirty boy that lived, Draco Malfoy, the sexy sarcastic Slytherin, Ron Weasley, the poor yet handsome "Normal" guy, Hermione Granger, the brainy know-it-all Muggleborn, Neville Longbottom, the dorky ditz, Ginny Weasley, the very horny little girl that remarkably resembles Satine from Moulin Rouge, two thick cronies by the names of Crabbe and Goyle, and our lovely host, Venus725!!! (In other words, me!) Our Star Wars guest for today will be.the faithful Jedi Master (Who isn't whiny like Anakin) Obi-Wan Kenobi! We will start with a few rules.
Number 1: NO boring moments and number 2: NO making fun of the host (or co- host)! But you can ask questions for a character in your reviews, and suggestions or requests are always accepted! Now that I'm done talking, let's go to the basement and see what's happening:
Zoom Camera takes us to the basement.(a very.er.interesting room with these things: a sandy colored carpet, a wooden coffee table, a blue couch, a maroon recliner, a small bathroom, a hockey table, a TV and VCR, a lamp, all sorts of hippie things *cough, mom and dad, cough* and of course, our characters)
(All have been in a enchanted sleep.they now awaken.hehehe, this shall be fun!)
Ron: Where are we?
Harry: I dunno.looks like a muggle basement with lots of hippie junk!!!
Neville: What? Hippie junk? What's a hippie? *Scratches head*
Hermione: Never mind! *Mutters* Boys.
Ginny: (In seductive voice) I like boys.*Eyes Harry's pants*
Harry: Um.ok.maybe we should focus on something like GETTING OUT OF HERE!
Draco: For once, a Gryffindor finally had a good idea.
Crabbe and Goyle: Uh huh.
Ginny: Who are you? *Looks at Obi-Wan with a small seductive smile*
Obi-Wan: Hello. I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Master. Where is my apprentice? *Looks around*
Hermione: OH MY GOD!!!!! OBI-WAN!!!!!!!!!
Harry: Hermione.calm down.he's just from Star Wars.
Ginny and Ron: Oh, yeah, those Muggle movies.
Draco: Yeah, whatever.*Sigh* Where the hell are we, and who in god's name put us here?
Deep Voice: It was I.*Breathes in and out, deeply, in and out, deeply*
Hermione and Harry: James Earl Jones?
Voice: NO!!! Venus725, crazy fanfic author! *Takes away voice modifier* Duh!
Neville: Where are you? Where are we? What happened? What did you do?
Venus725: I'm glad I put you down as a dorky ditz.
Neville: I'm not a dorky ditz! *Stands up, fist raised, and trips*
Venus: Yeah, sure.*Rolls eyes* I'm up here, writing this very fic as we speak. And you are in my very scary basement/family room. I'm very sorry about the hippie stuff *Cough.mom and dad.cough*. Anyway, for my own sick pleasure, you are stuck here.till I let you go!!!!!!!!!! HAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry: She is insane.
Venus: Yeah.but you can't talk, Scarhead!
Draco: I kind of like her.
Venus: Really? *Comes down into basement* I think your dead sexy. *Bats eyelashes*
Draco: *Stands and bows* I'm very flattered. *Puts on his ever so sexy "bad- boy" smile*
Venus: And Obi-kins!!!! *Runs to Obi-Wan and gives him a hug*
Obi-Wan: *Being hugged* You're cute, but I'm a bit too old for you. Besides, that would be against the code.
Venus: *Sigh* that's okay.because there's still Ron and Draco!!!!!
Draco: (In shock) Weasley?
Ron: (In shock) Me? *All eye him* I mean, yeah, me, of course me!!!
Venus: He makes me laugh.
Draco: Oh.
Venus: And you make me drool.*Prepares to drool*
Draco: *Smirks* Hehehe.I am a ladies man.and a chic magnet.actually, I'm downright adorable.
Ron: You sound a little pompous, too.
Draco: *Eyes start to flash*
Harry: Bet no one in here is as vain as you, Malfoy.
Venus: *Puts mirror away*
Ginny: *Puts brush away*
Obi-Wan: *Puts shiny comlink that he was looking at for his reflection away*
Ron: Ok.we were wrong.
Venus and Ginny: What? We're girls!!!
All: *Look at Obi-Wan*
Obi: I can't help it that I'm sexy.
Venus: He's right ya know. *Smiles at Obi-Wan*
Ginny and Draco: Yeah, I guess I know what you mean.*Eye each other*
Draco: You're not sexy.
Ginny: Then who is? Not you!
Venus: I am!
All: *Stare*
Venus: Hey, I look like Natalie Portman, only tanner and taller! What could be sexier besides Halle Berry? Man, I wish I looked like her.I could get Hayden then.(Wow.that sounded odd.maybe I should watch what I say from now on.)
Ron: She has a point.
Obi-Wan: Natalie Portman?
Venus: Senator Amidala, Obi-kins.
Obi: Oh.
Draco: I AM TOO SEXY!!!!!
Ginny: NO YOUR NOT!!!!
Draco: YES I AM!!!!!!!!
Ginny: NO YOUR NOT!!!!!
Venus and Obi-Wan: Yeah he is.
All: *Look at Obi-Wan*
Neville: I'm scared.
Venus: *Sigh* Neville, we all know your gay, so shut up!
Neville: I am not gay!
All: Yeah, sure!
Neville: Hey, Obi-Wan just said something clearly gayer than anything I've said in the last five minutes!
All: *Look at Obi-Wan again*
Obi-Wan: What? I can't help it that he's sexy!
Draco: He's got a point.
Venus: True. It's settled, Neville's gay, and Obi-kins isn't.
Harry: So, why have you captured us?
Venus: Scarhead, it's very obvious.to torture you. Well, not exactly torture you, but let others torture you with questions and other such things.I guess this is a talkshow/scary fanfic.IT SHALL BE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry: Okay then.
Ginny: Harry, wanna makeout?
Harry: NO!!!!!! *Is alarmed*
Ginny: Obi-Wan, wanna makeout?
Obi-Wan: No thank you, that's against the code.
Ginny: Ron, wanna makeout?
Ron: NO!!!!!!!!!!! MY SISTER IS A F**CKING WEIRDO!!!!!!!!! THAT'S INCEST!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!! *Starts to sob*
Venus: Hehe.*Cough* Luke, Leia *Cough* Ooh.*Walks over to him in recliner* There, there, baby. *Rocks him back and forth* It's okay. *Gives him a big hug and small kiss on the cheek*
Ron: *Stops crying* Thanks. *Blows nose with the handkerchief she was holding out for him*
All: *Stare blankly*
Venus: I take advantage of HOT people when they're sad.
Ron: I've been used.COOL!!!!!!!
Draco: What an idiot.
Harry: Do you hear something?
Ron: Yeah.sounds like a ringing.
Draco: It's called a doorbell, you numbskulls.*rolls eyes*
Venus: Ooo.my buddy is here!!!!!!! (Runs upstairs, then comes back down with a short girl with blonde hair, a few freckles, and blue eyes)
Venus: Guys, this is my best friend Alex!!!!!!!
Alex: Hello.*Sees Draco Malfoy* OH MY GOD, DRACO!!!!!! *Runs to him and starts to pester him*
Venus: Uhh.she's a big fan of Tom Felton a.k.a. Draco Malfoy.she's more of a fan than even I am.and that's scary.
Draco: *Panicked* Get her off of me, please!!!!
All except Venus: *laugh*
Venus: It's not funny, guys.poor Draco.and Alex.Alex, get off of him, he won't like you if you're a crazy fan girl, trust me, I know from experience!
Alex: *Stops and stands* Ohh.*Smiles at Draco and puts out a hand* Nice to meet you, please excuse my behavior.
Draco: *Shakes her hand with an uneasy smile* Sure.
Venus: Good.Alex will be my co-host.but I still want guest fanfic co-hosts too.*Smiles at all reviewers* You all will receive cookies for reviewing!!!!!! *Hands cookies to reviewers*
Alex: Wait, I want a cookie, too.
Venus: No, these are for the reviewers.
Alex: F*** YOU THEN!!!!!
Reviewers: Mmmmm.yummy.*Take cookies*
Venus: she has a cursing problem.and is also an Ozzy Osbourne fan, if you know what I mean.
Alex: I am not!
Venus: Oh right.that's me.whoops.BLOODY HELL, SHARON!
Alex: Damn straight I'm not an Ozzy freak!!!!!
All except for them: yeah.sure.
Harry: She's even crazier then the fricken' host!
Alex: Hey.I thought you were cute, you know.BUT if your gonna act like an asshole I just don't know.
Harry: You thought I was cute? FINALLY, DAMN IT!
Venus: I think you're cute too.
Harry: Then why do you pick on me?
Venus and Alex: Because you're an easy target, and it's funny.*Look at each other and do their secret handshake*
Neville: Secret handshakes are for losers!
Alex: Then what's your secret handshake, you gay wad? Neville: For the last time, I'M NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Venus: Ok, would you STOP fighting already!!!
Alex: But why? They are all such easy targets, except for Draco I mean.*bats eyelashes innocently*
Draco: I know but do you have to keep flirting, BLOODY HELL IT GETS ANNOYING!!!!!
Alex: Sorry Draco, but I can't help it if you're SEXY!!!!
Draco: I am, aren't I?
Obi-Wan: Yes you are.
All: *stare*
Obi: I'm gonna shut-up now.
Venus: Alex, we already cleared the fact that Obi-Kins isn't gay.
Alex: He said it, not me.
Venus: But you're the one that suggested it!
Alex: Yeah, and????
Ron: Wow.*stares at Alex dreamily and starts to drool* what a girl. *Drools some more*
Venus: Hey!!!! Darn.oh well.there's still hope for Harry and Draco, right?
Alex: NO!!! DRACO IS MINE!!!!!!!!!! You can have Ron. But I GET DRACO!!!! Besides I think Ron is an ugly bastard!
Venus: But Ron likes you.and you already scared Draco out of his mind.
Alex: So what.I don't give a F***!!!!!! HE'S MINE!!!!!!! Draco: No, I'm mine!!!! But you can have Potty or the Weasel, or if you want, have them both.
Venus: *Rolls eyes* yeah well, I know I don't own you, but since I'm strong in the force, have the same IQ as Hermione, and am being mentored by Yoda, Gandalf, Dumbledore, and Morpheus, then I could make you love me in a million different ways!!!!!
Alex: Not to mention she's the host and could torture you in many ways, in a way she does own you.not to mention I could also torture you because I'm the co-host and could make Venus do just about anything.
Venus: Hey.I resent that.even if it is true.oh well, I forgive you, cause you're my friend! *Huggles Alex*
Alex: thanks! *Huggles back*
All guys: *Watch intently*
Hermione: What is so interesting?
Ginny: Boys get horny when two girls hug each other, I don't know why, I mean, they're just hugging each other, and their friends.
Ron: *Stops watching and turns to them* Well, she's mostly right, I don't exactly know why I get horny when I see two girls hugging.
Boys: *Turn back into normal selves as hosts stop hugging*
Venus: Horny little bastards.
Alex: So you see, Draco, in a sense, I do own you.
Draco: Were back to this?
Venus: No, let's change the subject.
Ron: Okay.Alex, do you know how to waltz?
Alex: No.not really.kind of, I guess.why?
Ron: Um.I do.
Alex: And?
Ron: *Blushes* Can I teach you?
Alex: Why would I want to dance with a fricken' ugly redheaded bastard like you?
Ginny: I resent that, I'm a redhead!
Alex: *Gives her the finger*
Venus: Your dirtier than I thought you were.so just dance with him so he won't whine! Trust me, you don't want him to whine.*Gulp*
Alex: You dance with him!
Venus: You know I would, cause he's hot, but he likes you and asked you.so stand up and get ready to PARTAY!!!!!!!!! *Turns on waltz music*
Ron: *Stands eagerly*
Alex: Hey Ron, I'll make a deal with you, get Draco to kiss me and I'll dance with you.
Ron: Draco old buddy old pal.
Draco: Hell no.
Alex: No kiss, no dance.
Ron: Please, Draco, please.
Draco: Don't beg, you look like a dog.
Ron: Please.
Draco: Bugger off, you insolent vermin!
Alex: Damn!
Venus: But I want to use this music! Wait.can anyone teach me how to waltz?
Harry: I would, but I don't know how.
Venus: Draco.?
Draco: I would, because I'm a gentleman, but I don't want your friend to kill us.
Venus: Okay.Obi-Wan? Ron?
Ron: Hell no.your not fine like her.
Venus: You little bitch.*Starts to cry*
Draco and Harry: Ron, that wasn't nice.*Look at each other and glare*
Alex: No one talks to my friend like that you little bitchy pervert *Punches Ron*.oh wait.I got a nanogram for you: I fit iron dick.
Ron: Umm.okay.uh.let's see.carry the o.change the dick.umm.
Alex: Can't get it? It's FRICKEN IDIOT!
Venus: That's from Austin Powers in Goldmember!!!!!
Alex: I know.you're obsessed, that's how I remember.
Draco: *Celebrates* I kinda like her now.
Venus: *Teary eyes* Not as much as me though, right?
Draco: Ummm.I dunno.maybe because you weren't the one that molested me.
Venus: *Celebrates*
Alex: Hey!
Draco: Don't hurt me!
Alex: That's a turnoff.
Venus: Not for me!
Alex: You bitch, I still really like him dumbass!!!!!
Venus: I'd say really obsessed with him, but yeah, like will work too.ok, sure.But who's gonna dance with me?
Neville: I will.
Venus: Hell no!!!! Obi-Wan.please.I'm not as annoying as Anakin.if not, will you sing?
Obi-Wan: all right, but I won't sing.maybe next episode when you have reviewers.
Venus: *Sniffles* Okay.*Glares at Ron* Bitchy pervert. (Venus and Obi-Wan go to the middle of the floor and start to waltz)
Obi-Wan: One two three, one two three, one two three.
Venus: *Drooling*
Ginny and Hermione: This is romantic.
Alex: *Sneaks over to Draco and sits next to him*
Venus and Obi-Wan: *Stop dancing*
Venus: That was nice.thank you.
Obi-Wan: My pleasure.
Alex: Draco, can I be your hoe?
Draco: Well, I.
Ron: Be my hoe!
Venus: You little bitch!
Ron: Sorry, but I like blondes.*Stares at Alex* I like them because supposedly their easy.
Alex: YOU FUCKING HORNY GAY BASTARD! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR MOTHER FUCKING ASSWIPE YOU CALL A FUCKING ASS!!!!!!!! DRACO HAS AN ASS, AND YOU HAVE A FUCKING WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BITCH! FUCKER! MOTHER FUCKER! YOU CAN ROTT IN FUCKING HELL, WITH THE FUCKING DEVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND GUESS WHAT, HE PROBABLY HAS A FUCKING BETTER ASS THAN YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone except Alex and Ron: Damn.
Venus: Okay.
Ron: Umm.MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!!
Draco: Maybe you can be my hoe.wait, what's a hoe?
Ginny: You don't want to know.
All: *Stare at her oddly*
Ginny: Um.I've never once in my life been a lesbian and used female or male prostitution.*Gulp*
Venus: Sure.
Alex: *cough* WHATEVER! *cough*
Draco: Wow this is getting scary.
Venus: Rigggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.t. I said it like Dr. Evil, another one of my mentors! *Puts pinky to her lips*
Alex: Uhh.yeah.
Venus: Well, this is getting scary, so we should probably let some reviewers review.
Alex: Wait, what about my cookie?????
Venus: No fucking cookie, maybe next time with some blue milk (That's right, AnakinsOnlyAngel, I like it too!) Anyways.
So that's why we need your help with questions, fights, and ideas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If there are any authors that wish to help me torture full time, please contact me through reviews, or email me at my email address, which is shown in my account! *Puts on astoundingly convincing fake British accent* Good day old chaps!!!!!!!
Venus: SAY GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!
All: Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry: *Mutters* Psychos.
Venus and Draco: Shut up, Scarhead. *Look at each other and smile*
So send in reviews with questions and ideas for those HP blokes, and of course Obi-Wan.and if you want, me and Alex.I'm warning beforehand it'll be not too pleasant, and tell me who you want the next Star Wars character(s) to be, if you don't mind.ciao!!!!!!!!!!