Will ran into the grocery store Christmas Eve, thinking just to get a carton of milk to finish the fudge he had been making as a Christmas present for himself. As he came to the refrigerated section and picked up the jug, he slowed for a moment, letting his mind catch up with him. It hadn't really hit him before, but he realized then that he was spending Christmas alone. Again. Loneliness washed over him as he turned to walk toward the cash register, sufficiently demoralized. Then he saw someone who made his heart skip a beat.
Met my old lover in the grocery store, the snow was falling Christmas Eve.
I stole behind her in the frozen foods, and I touched her on the sleeve
Emma. That red hair, those brown doe eyes that had captured him the first time he had peered into them. Yes, that was definitely Emma. Before he knew what he was doing, he was creeping toward her and reaching out to touch her arm, longing for that old feeling that she had given him only a few years before. She turned, looking confused for a moment, but then recognizing him.
"Will!" She said, dropping her basket and purse as she reached out to hug him. He smiled as he held her tight. She still made his stomach flutter with a combination of anxiety and happiness. She was just as beautiful then as she had been three years ago.
She didn't recognize the face at first, but then her eyes flew open wide.
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse, and we laughed until we cried.
We took her groceries to the checkout stand, the food was totaled up and bagged.
We stood there lost in our embarrassment as the conversation dragged.
"Hey Em, lets get out of here. I mean, if you don't have anywhere to be tonight." Will said awkwardly, trying not to look down at his feet. The urge was gone as soon as her face lit up in the childlike glee he had grown to love.
"Yea, that would be great. I'm going to be alone for Christmas anyway." She said, her voice losing a little of that perky happiness. Will was momentarily confused. What had happened to Carl? But he wouldn't dwell on it. He had Emma for now, and he was going to make the most of it. He had missed her too much.
"Great, but you drive. I still own the oldest car in all of Lima, Ohio." He said, offering his arm to her. She took it with a smile and they walked into the winter snow, which seemed so much more friendly to Will than it had a few moments before.
We went to have ourselves a drink or two, but couldn't find an open bar.
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store, and we drank it in her car.
"So how are you Will? You had…a lot going for you the last I saw you." Emma said, hesitating just a bit. Will paused, having to think about the question.
"Good I suppose. Most of my kids have gone off to college now, but we still see a lot of each other. Britney comes over for tutoring every few weeks with Santana, and we all show up whenever one of them has a concert. A few of them even have scholarships and job offers…"
"I meant you Will. How are you?" She asked, laughing just a little. He was taken aback. Somehow, whenever he thought about how he was, he thought about how his Glee Club was doing, even when they weren't really his anymore. Maybe it was because they were so close, or maybe it was because they were like family. But inside, he knew that it was really because he was lonely, and they were his source of company. But he could never tell Emma that. She could never know how much it hurt him when she left with Carl to go West.
We drank a toast to innocence, we drank a toast to now.
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness, but neither one knew how.
She said she'd married her an architect, who kept her warm and safe and dry.
She would have liked to say she loved the man, but she didn't like to lie.
A song that both Emma and Will remembered from their time together came on and they began to sing, throwing caution to the wind as Emma rolled her windows up. The tension had visibly decreased, and Will took the chance to ask her the question on her mind before he lost the courage.
"So Em, how have you been?" He immediately regretted asking when her face fell and her eyes cast down. She played with a strand of her hair as she tried to bring the right words to mind.
"Well, I've been ok. Carl…Carl has been gone a lot more lately, and it's been kind of lonely at home. But it pays the bills, so I can't complain." She said, the pain so thick in her voice that it seemed to cut at Will's heart like a knife. The one thing that had helped him get along after Emma had gotten married was that she was happy, and Carl would make sure that she always was. He couldn't think of anything to say, so he just studied her. Her beautiful, round face, the way that her hair fell around her face like it had been taught. The tears that were coming to her eyes without her permission, glistening as they were caught in the light rolling down her perfect face. She looked up at him, and he had the strongest urge to kiss all of her sadness away.
I said the years had been a friend to her, and that her eyes were still as blue.
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I saw doubt or gratitude.
She said she saw me in the record stores and that I must be doing well.
I said the audience was heavenly, but the traveling was hell.
We drank a toast to innocence, we drank a toast to now.
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness, but neither one knew how.
"What?" She asked quietly, seeming to be as lost in his eyes as she was in his. The ache that had begun with her confession deepened. He had to reach out to her, had to touch her. He let his hand go to her face, to stroke her cheek with his thumb. She closed her eyes and almost sighed as she leaned into his palm.
"You're just as beautiful as you were three years ago." He said quietly, wanting more than anything to be closer to her, or at least to see the sadness be lifted from her face, the agonizing weight from her shoulders. She opened her eyes to look at him in veiled shock.
"Th…thank you."
We drank a toast to innocence, we drank a toast to time.
Reliving in our eloquence another 'auld lang syne'...
The beer was empty and our tongues were tired, and running out of things to say.
She gave a kiss to me as I got out, and I watched her drive away.
There was so much that Will wanted to say to the beautiful woman in front of him. He wanted to tell her how much he had loved her, how much he still loved her. But he couldn't make the words come out. His tongue wouldn't cooperate; his brain wouldn't come up with the right words.
"Well, I suppose I need to be getting back. I have a flight to catch to go back West tomorrow." Emma said hesitantly. 'No,' Will thought, 'Please don't leave, stay with me. I'll take care of you. I'll make sure you're never lonely again. Just stay with me.' But as much as he wished the words would come out, they wouldn't.
"I…Yea, that's probably for the best. I was…making fudge. I should get back too." He stammered, reaching for the doorknob.
"Will!" Emma said behind him, sounding almost panicked. His heart skipped a beat. Was she really going to ask him to stay? He turned, getting lost instantly in her eyes. Conflict flashed across her face as she leaned in across the center console of her little yellow Volkswagen. But as he leaned in to meet her half way, the fear in her eyes disappeared until they disappeared under her eyelids. Her lips were sweet on Will's, and just as soft as he remembered them. But he thought he tasted something else. Tears?
"Than…Thank you Will. I had an amazing time. It was really nice to see you again." She said, moving back to sit upright in her seat. Will smiled tightly as he got out, his mind still refusing to come up with words.
"Me too," He said, a nervous feeling creeping into his stomach.
"Bye Will. I…I love you." She said after a deep internal debate. He smiled weakly as she started her car up.
"Goodbye." 'No, stay.'
Just for a moment I was back at school, and felt that old familiar pain.
And as I turned to make my way back home the snow turned into rain -
And once again, Will was alone. But now he remembered it all, he remembered what he could have had. He took a shaky breath as he turned to walk back to the store to retrieve his car. To his luck, the rain began just as his tears began to overflow.
"Emma."
A/N Yes, I do realize this is not one of my better pieces, but this is my first one shot. I love this song, and I always have this scene playing through my head now J. Hope you like it, please review!