Agoraphobic


"Where do you wanna go, Crona?"

Crona stared at his feet, eyes darting right to left, left to right. The noises of the street toppled over him, crashing like waves against the beach. Brisk walkers, shovers, loud talkers, tall men with scary eyes, girls who giggled cutely. Ice cream sounded nice, right? The day was hot, after all, and sweat had collected under his dark robes.

But the ice cream store is all the way across the street and there's a huge crowd! I don't know if I can handle a huge crowd!

"Um... The alley?"

"The alley? Crona... Why would you want to go there?"

"Well... You see..."

They alley was secluded. The alley was where Lady Medusa would take him, sneaking around to avoid all the curious eyes and the passers by with cell phones to their ear and briefcases hanging from their fingers. It was dark and safe because no one was there to see him, or bump into him, or comment about his strange appearance.

"How about we go for some ice cream instead?"

But the ice cream store has a huge crowd! And there's a girl at the register- what if I get nervous and mess up my order? I don't know if I can handle messing up my order!

And before he can stop himself, he's blabbed out a shout. "No!"

"Huh? Why not?"

Because if the ice cream melts it'll be sticky and someone might notice. If someone notices, they might talk about me. I don't know if I can handle someone talking about me.

And so he lies, because it's better than trying to explain and being argued with. "I don't like ice cream."

"Huh? Really? Well, okay then..."

They left. Crona started to regret ever coming to the city, but he wanted to help shop for books. But then the bookstore was closed for renovations and they suddenly had free time. Usually, free time meant hugging his knees in the corner of his room. Or talking with his shadow. Or being hit by Ragnarok. Now it meant something different and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. No one was there to tell him what was right and what wasn't.

And then when Crona looks up from his feet, all he can see is a sea of people. Unfamiliar faces, eyes looking at him, quizzical, judgmental, wondering why he's just standing there with a look of terror spread across his face. When someone bumps into him, they growl a raspy, "Watch it!" and he freezes, too scared to apologize. He bolts, pushing through the crowd, scampering away from the sun where he can be easily seen- and into the shadow cast by the tall buildings. He slips into the alley because it's secluded, because he could avoid all the curious eyes and passers by.

He finds a corner similar to his room and hugs his knees. Ragnarok comes out because that's what he does when they're alone. Angry white fists rub painfully into his head.

"Crona you wimp! Why'd you run off? I wanted ice cream! You're gonna pay for that, you hear me!"

"Ow! Stop! It hurts! You're hurting me!"

But it's better than when there's people, so Crona doesn't get up.

...

Crona shut his eyes against the black fabric of his knees, just letting time pass by. It was easier to let time pass by. Waiting was safe, waiting meant nobody bothered him. He was in his own little world, where his heart didn't have to race whenever a stranger met his gaze.

"Crona!"

Footsteps padded over to him, shoes slapping the dirty concrete. Crona never laughed, but he thought about it then. Whenever he found a place to be alone, no one ever bothered to bother him... Except for her. He looked up, a little guilty and a little scared, wondering if he was going to be scolded, if he had done something wrong again, because old habits always die hard.

"There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"You have?"

"Of course I have!"

When he meets her eyes, his heart does beat faster. Not because he's scared, even though she's a little mad, but because she's smiling with relief and her green eyes are soft and bright in the shadow of the alley. A hand reaches out to him, and for once he knows what to do. He takes it, and she pulls him clumsily to his feet.

"Umm... Maka?"

Crona shuffled his feet and flickered his gaze from her to his feet.

"Yes, Crona?"

"C-Can we go get ice cream?"

She studied him for a minute, then let out a laugh.

"Of course we can, silly!"

She grabs his hand and leads him out of the alley, into the hot light and the buzzing crowd. The city's scary and everything Crona worried about goes wrong. The crowd bumps him, he orders the wrong flavor, and later the ice cream melts onto his sleeve. But it tastes sweet and cold in the blazing heat, and they laugh about it in the park under the shade of a tree.

And over time the storm of waves upon the beach fades to a lulling roll of lapping water. And he thinks that he just might be able to handle this.