Language English
Fandom Harry Potter
Characters Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew
Words 4.717
Summary Sirius told Snape about Remus' secret and the Marauders won't forgive their fellow Gryffindor. While Sirius is trying to cope with, perhaps, the ultimate lost of his friends, the Slytherins are plotting for revenge.
Beta'ed Yes, by a friend, although she didn't do the grammar.
Disclaimer Harry Potter and co. are property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros.
Crystal Tears
A boy with jet-black hair and sapphire blue eyes walked down the streets of small village. The temperature was below zero degrees centigrade, the wind was ice-cold and all he was wearing were black robes. No cloak, no gloves, not even a hat to protect him from the cold. But it didn't matter to him. He didn't even feel the cold.
He walked past a small pub. Music and happy laughter reached his ears. The sound of a famous Christmas song filled the air around the boy and the people inside the pub started singing. He turned out the sound and walked further to the each of the village.
The tears that leaked from his eyes froze on his cheek and became crystal drops of water. His black hair, once tidy and well cared for, was now wild and greasy. His skin was unnaturally pale and he had goose bumps on his uncovered skin.
The reason he was walking here? It all started a week ago. The day after full moon and the start of the Christmas Break.
In the five years Sirius Black went to Hogwarts, he had never done something as stupid like this.
Sirius sighed and let his eyes drift to the fire in the fireplace. He listened to James as the black haired boy ranted on and on. James' voice was low and only a mere whisper, but to Sirius it was like James was shouting in his ear. The words were loud and clear and with every comment, Sirius felt guiltier and guiltier.
"How could you lead Snivellus to the Shack? You know that the Shack isn't safe when Remus is in there. You almost killed them, Sirius. Snape would have been killed be Remus and Remus would rather die than killing someone! How could you be so stupid? You almost revealed Remus' secret to the world!" James stood up and looked at Sirius with rage burning in his eyes. He glared at Sirius and went upstairs to the dorm they shared. Peter looked at Sirius, shook his head in disappointment and followed James to the dorm.
Sirius sighed again and let his head drop in his hands. James was right. How in Merlin's name could he have been so stupid to lead Snape to the Whomping Willow while Remus was in there, transforming?
He was annoyed that Snape was so curious about Remus. Snivellus kept on asking why Remus was gone for a few days every month. Being fed up with the greasy git, Sirius told him how to get in the Shack. He told Snape that he would find some answers there. The only reason that Snape was still alive, was James. It was his turn to guard the entrance to the Shack and he was just in time to see Snape disappearing in the underground tunnel. He pulled Snape out the tunnel but not before Snape saw Remus in his fully transformed Werewolf form. James was furious when Sirius told him, laughing, that is was his idea.
Sirius sighed again and stared at the fire. The hours passed by and the Common Room got emptier and emptier until Sirius was alone. Not wanting to go to the dorm, he grabbed his Potion book and started on his homework, something he never did.
The clock chimed one time and the portrait swung open, revealing Remus. Sirius looked up from the books that lay around him to see who entered the Common Room at this time. Seeing it was Remus, Sirius stoop up and walked towards the Werewolf.
"Remus, I'm sorry. I should have never done that…" Remus turned around, ignored Sirius and walked to the stairs. Desperate, Sirius grasped Remus' sleeve and turned the boy around.
"Please, Remus, listen to me." Remus looked at him with eyes full of hatred. He pulled his sleeve out Sirius' grasp and spat: "Leave me alone, Black."
Sirius grabbed the sleeve again and begged Remus to listen to him.
"Remus, please. Don't be mad at me." From out of nowhere, Remus' fist hit Sirius in the face. The force of the impact sent him sprawling on the floor. Remus stormed of to the dorm while Sirius slowly stood up and touched his cheek. The spot was painful and Sirius was sure that it was going to bruise.
Realizing that it wasn't safe for him to go to the dorm, he decided to sleep on the couch. He conjured a pillow and a blanket and laid them on the couch. After collecting his homework and cleaning up the mess he had made, he undressed, slipped underneath the blanket and stared at the fire until he fell asleep.
Sirius rose early the next morning and took a quick shower. With a few spells, he cleaned his robes and made the pillow and blanket disappear. With a towel he dried his hair and styled it the way he always did.
By the time James, Peter and Remus came downstairs, Sirius was almost finished with his History of Magic essay. Sirius stood up as soon as he saw his friends and walked towards them.
"Hey guys. Remus, I'm really sorry for what I did. I didn't mean it like that…" Without saying a word, James en Remus left the Common Room. Peter looked at Sirius and nodded to a couch in front of the fire. They sat down and Sirius looked at the fireplace, while Peter looked at him.
"I'm sorry mate, but it was really stupid what you did. James is furious and Remus is really hurt. I suggest that you stay away from them. At least for a while. Let them cool down and then make it up."
Sirius nodded and picked-up his essay, making it clear that he didn't want tot talk about it. Peter smiled a sad smile and went down for breakfast. When he walked past Sirius, he laid his hand on the black haired boys shoulder. "Hang on mate. I'm sure that they will forgive you."
Sirius nodded again and began to write.
In the following days Sirius finished his homework, something he never did. James and Remus were both ignoring him and Peter made useless attempts to make them talk. The only time the four of them were together was when they were in the dorm. The rest of the time Sirius was alone. He made his homework in the Common Room or in the library and took long walks across the grounds of Hogwarts.
It was strange to see the usually loud and arrogant Sirius Black so silent and quite that he went up in the crowd. The Slytherins, namely his brother and Snape, noticed that Sirius wasn't backed up by his friends and started making a plan to get revenge.
It was the day before Christmas and Sirius rose early. It became a habit of his. Quickly, he dressed and left the dorm without waking the other three boys. He left the Common Room and went for breakfast in the Great Hall. He never got there.
Walking on the fourth floor, he got cornered by a group of Slytherins. Sirius walked backwards until he hit a wall. Smirking, his brother and Snape stepped forwards and stood in front of Sirius, their wands pointed at his heart.
Sirius reached for his wand, but some Slytherin beat him to it and grabbed the wand. Panic filled his mind as he saw that every Slytherin had drawn their wand and were pointing them at Sirius.
"So, big bro, how does it feel to be alone and helpless?" Regulus taunted. Sirius balled his fist as he glared at Snape and his brother.
"Poor Sirius. Did your friends hurt you? I see that Lupin didn't like your little joke. Or was it Potter?" Snape touched the dark blue bruise. Sirius jerked his head away.
"What do you want?" Sirius spat.
"Don't be so rude, big bro. Mother taught us better than this." Regulus smirked as he advanced on Sirius. Sirius aimed a punch on his brother's face, but Regulus turned and grabbed his hand. With a quick movement Regulus turned his arm around and pushed the sleeve up. Sirius tried to pull his arm back, but Regulus had his arm in an iron grip.
"Severus, now!" Snape jumped to the two brothers and pushed the tip of his wand in the soft skin of Sirius arm. He whispered a few words that Sirius couldn't hear and a burning sensation was spreading through his body. Sirius cried out in pain and grabbed his arm. The Slytherins laughed as Sirius looked in fear at his arm, afraid of what he might see.
Blood covered his underarm, but that wasn't the reason that made Sirius' blood freeze. The Dark Mark that was underneath the blood was the reason why Sirius was so shocked and scared. It was a black tattoo that symbols a skull with a snake coming out of its mouth. The Sign of You-Know-Who.
"Now you are one of us. Shouldn't you be thanking me? I gave you new friends!" A cold and heartless laughter filled the corridor as the Slytherins ran away.
Sirius turned around and ran back to the Common Room. He went straight to the bathroom and grabbed a towel. He made the tip of it wet and carefully tried to wash the Mark away without hurting his arm.
It didn't work. The Mark, still bleeding and pulsing, was carved in his skin. Sirius started to rub it roughly, not caring about the pain that shot through his arm.
The door slammed open and Sirius jumped. He turned around to see Peter standing in the doorway. His friend saw the blood on the floor and the stained towel.
"Mate! Are you alright? What happened to you? I saw a trail of blood leading to the bathroom and some First Years said that you came in running." Peter walked forwards and pulled the towel away to look at the wound. When he saw the Mark, he let the towel slip between his fingers.
"You… I thought… why… Traitor!"
"Peter, no! You don't understand! Regulus and Snape did this for revenge!"
"Shut up, Death Eater. Save it for You-Know-Who!" Peter turned around and ran back to the Dorm. Sirius leaned defeated against the wall and put his head in his hands.
"Fuck." He whispered.
Sirius knew that Peter was going to tell the others, but that they would turn the whole school against him? No. He never thought that his friends would do something like that.
Sirius took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself before he stepped into the Great Hall. Silence fell when the whole student body saw who it was. The Slytherins broke the silence when they started cheering for him. Students started to whisper at each other, pointing and shooting glances at him.
But Sirius didn't take notice in any of it. All he saw was three pair of eyes that were filled with hatred and betrayal. Sirius did the only thing that came to mind. He turned around and ran.
By the time Sirius returned at the castle, it was past eight o'clock. Tired and hungry, he made his way to the Gryffindor Common Room. He let his bag fall on the floor and looked with tired and blood-shot eyes to the portrait of the Fat Lady. He expected the smile she normally gave him, so the hateful glare and lips curled in disgust shocked him.
"This is the wrong Common Room, Death Eater. Go to the Dungeons, Snake! That is where you belong, Black."
The Fat Lady turned her back to him and ignored the boy. Sirius sighed, sniffled a tear back and sat down with his back against the wall. He pulled his knees to his chest and laid his head on them. He sighed again and wiped a single tear away.
He looked up when he heard footsteps walking towards him. He saw James coming to him.
"James! Please tell me you don't believe Peter…" Sirius begged. James kneeled down and grabbed Sirius' left sleeve. He pulled it up and looked at the still bleeding Mark.
"So Peter was right after all. You really are a Death Eater. I thought you were different. Different than the other Blacks. But it appears that a bad tree does not yield good apples after all." James sneered and stood up. Sirius looked at James with teary eyes.
"James, you don't understand. Regulus did this!"
"Save it, Black. Don't blame other people for your mistakes! And I do understand it. I understand it perfectly! You turned sides and became a Death Eater. I'm not friend with Death Eaters, Black. I never want to see you again." James turned around and walked away. Sirius grabbed his sleeve.
"James, I'm sorry." James turned around, anger blazing in his eyes.
"You, we trusted. You, we considered a brother. You are a traitor of the deepest kind, and for that, I can never forgive you." James pulled his sleeve back and went into the Common Room. The Fat Lady closed behind him and sneered at the black haired boy.
With a broken look in his eyes, Sirius grabbed his bag and walked away from the place he had called home for five long years.
Sirius reached the last house of Hogsmeade. Without thinking he passed it and followed a sandy path that danced through the landscape.
He crossed the train rails of the Hogwarts Express and left the path. He climbed to the top of a hill and turned around to look at the beautiful sight that spread out beneath him. The small village with twinkling lights and the huge castle with the frozen lake next to it.
Sirius smiled bitterly. It was his home from the first day he stepped into the Hall. He had found friends and enemies. He had found love and received hugs. And now, everything was gone. Just because he was stupid enough to tell Snape about the Willow.
Sirius sighed and dropped his bag on the ground. He slumped against a tree and stared at the castle, a single tear on his cheek that glistened in the moonlight.
"He really is a Death Eater." James muttered broken when he entered the Dorm. The other two boys looked up from their beds.
"I told you…" Peter said, voice filled with sadness. He had hoped that he had saw it wrong. That it just was a black stain…
"How could he betray us like that? First Snape, and now this…" Remus looked older then fifteen. The War had reached them and stole their best friend. Peter choked out a sob.
"How could he hurt us like this!" James cried out, tears in the corners of his eyes. "How could he become one of them? And then lying to us! Telling that he could explain."
"Trying to fool me by telling his brother and Snape did it." Peter sniffled. Remus stood up and started pacing.
"Perhaps Sirius didn't change sides. He despises the Dark side because of his parents. Maybe Regulus and Snape did something to make that Mark appear." He said. James looked up in surprise.
"We could go and ask the Slytherins?" He asked, uncertain. Remus nodded.
"If I'm right, Snape should be in the library right now."
"Let's go." Peter said.
They found Snape in the library like Remus said. James took a seat opposite of Snape and smiled with an evil tint in it. Snape flew up and whipped out his wand.
"Not so fast, Snape." Peter took the wand out of the hand of the greasy haired boy and Remus pushed him back in his seat.
"You're going to tell us everything you Slytherins did to Sirius and you will tell us now. And tell the truth, because Remus will know when you lie." James said in a quite voice, laced with anger. Remus growled softly in the ear of the Slytherin.
Snape swallowed in fear when he saw and heard the anger of the three boys. "I… We got revenge on him. He almost got me killed, so we decided to get him killed by taking away the thing he cared about the most. His friends."
James growled and lunged for Snape. The boy pushed himself away from the table and landed on the floor. Remus grasped James and pulled him back.
"We got to find Sirius! Who knows what he will do in this state. Peter, bring Snape to Dumbledore. He will know what to do with him. James, get the Map and the Cloak. We meet in the Hall!" The two boys nodded and left the library, Peter pulling Snape with him. Remus sighed and let himself fall in a chair.
"What have we done? Sirius would never cross sides. But… he did tell Snape about the Willow… Perhaps he made a stupid mistake, but he would never betray us like that."
Remus stood up and went to the Hall.
"Is he in Hogwarts?" Peter asked when he reached Remus en James. They both stared at the Map and shook their heads.
"I can't see him on the Map. He's not in the Castle or in Hogsmaede. Where can he be?" James asked.
"Perhaps he is in Hogsmeade, but out of the bounds of the Map." Remus mused. The other two boys nodded.
"That could explain why he isn't on the Map. We didn't put the whole of Hogsmeade on it." James said.
"Come on, We don't have time to stand here and think! We got to find him!"
Remus and James looked surprised at Peter. The normally quite boy never spoke like that. But he was right. They couldn't waste their time.
James tapped his wand on the Map and said "Mischief Managed." The Map went blank and James folded it up and put it in his pocket. Then he threw the Cloak around them and they sneaked out the castle.
They reached Hogsmeade and split up. James took the main street while Peter and Remus checked the smaller streets. After an hour they met in front of the Three Broomsticks.
"Nothing." James whispered defeated. Peter and Remus muttered the same thing.
"Perhaps he went to the Shack?" James head shot up when he heard Remus.
"Of course!" He cried and ran towards the Shack.
When Peter and Remus arrived, they found James slumped against a tree.
"He isn't here, he isn't in Hogsmeade… Where could he be? We looked everywhere…" James asked, his voice tired and defeated.
"Perhaps we should sleep and try again in the morning?" Peter offered.
"No!" James cried. "We have to find him before he does something stupid like killing himself." James sprang up and started pacing.
"We looked everywhere in the village but he isn't here. Where could he be? Where could he be…" James stopped and looked at Remus.
"Where did he go last year when he wanted to be alone? After he got that letter from his Mother?"
"The hill with that beautiful view on Hogwarts." Remus answered. James turned around and looked at the point where the hill was behind the village.
"Of course. I should have thought about that one."
They set a quick pace to the hill, hoping that Sirius was there. He had to be there. It had been three hours ago since he ran away and James feared for the worst.
James was the first to reach the top of the hill, but Remus was the one that found Sirius.
The boy still sat against the tree, his hair dancing in the wind and a crystal drop of water frozen on his cheek. A light smile graced his lips and his eyes were filled with happiness. His skin was slowly turning blue due the cold air.
"Sirius!" James screamed and he ran to the boy. He grabbed the pure-blood's hand and felt the ice cold skin.
"James… is he… is he dead?" Peter stammered. Remus crouched down and laid his head on Sirius' chest.
"There is a heartbeat, but it is faint. Quick! James, grab his legs, we are going to carry him. Peter, get the bag. We got to go back to Hogwarts and the Hospital Wing." Remus ordered them.
Together with James, Remus lifted the boy off the ground and the four of them made their way back to Hogwarts.
"I can't hold him for much longer." James panted. Remus looked back and saw the sweaty face of his friend. Then he shot a worried glance at Sirius. His skin was getting paler and his chest rose less than an inch.
"He won't make it to Hogwarts at this rate." Remus said to himself. He looked at the worried faces of James and Peter.
"We have to get into the Castle now. Sirius won't make it if we continue at this pace."
James panted. "He is too heavy to go faster and my stupid wand is poking into my stomach." James' face turned into a grimace as he felt at the sore spot on his stomach. He pulled out his wand and started putting it into his back pocket of his jeans.
"God, we are stupid. Remus, put Sirius down on the ground. We can levitate him." Gently, they laid Sirius on the snow covered ground and James waved his wand. Sirius got Levitated of the ground and hovered eerily three feet above the ground.
Remus still looked worried. "James we have to go through the whole village… it is too far. We have to go by Floo."
"We could use the Floo System at that bar." Peter pointed out . They nodded and James steered Sirius with his wand to the bar while Remus and Peter ran. They opened the door and Peter helped James with getting Sirius inside while Remus asked the bartender if they could use the Floo. The bartender pointed to a door at the back of the bar and Remus opened it. Inside there was a small room with a huge fireplace in it and a jar of Floo Powder. The rest of the room was bare.
"James, in here!" Remus yelled. He grabbed a bit of Floo Powder and threw it into the fireplace. Green flames flared up and filled the room with heat. James moved Sirius carefully into the fire and Remus joined the Pureblood. James cancelled the spell he had on the boy and Sirius would have collapsed if Remus hadn't caught him.
"Hogwarts, Hospital Wing!" Remus yelled and he whisked away.
"Madam Pomfrey!" Coughing, Remus stepped out of the fireplace at the Hospital Wing. He had Sirius in his arms and the boy wasn't breathing anymore.
"I need help!" Remus yelled again. The plump woman appeared from behind a curtain with a scowl on her face.
"What is Merlin's name is this ruckus about? Mister Lupin, I have patients here…" her voice faltered when she saw Sirius, not breathing, in Remus' arms.
"What happened?" The nurse rushed over and Levitated the boy on a bed.
"We found him like this on a hill. He was still breathing when I used the Floo." Remus answered while whipping sweat and ash from his forehead. The nurse nodded and waved her wand over Sirius, muttering spells. Remus was watching him. The boy was breathing again but his chest barely rose. And on that moment, it was the second time in his life that Remus prayed.
He looked up when the fire roared again and two other boys, covered in ash, fell out. James jumped up and ran to the bed where Sirius lay.
"How is he, Madam?" He asked, panic clear in his voice.
"He stayed too long in the cold. I'm afraid that he has got hypothermia. Please stay back." Remus pulled James backwards and the curtains around Sirius bed closed.
"Come on, we will go to the Common Room." Remus gently pulled the two boys out of the Hospital Wing and went straight to the Common Room where they locked themselves in the Dorm.
"How could we ever think that Sirius would betray us like that?" James asked while laying on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Because he told Snape and endangered not only my secret, but also Snape's life?" Remus said, answering James' question.
"Right…" James mumbled. Peter stayed silence.
The boys shared a few looks and they sighed.
"I feel like it is our fault he almost froze to d-death." Peter stuttered. James and Remus glanced at each other.
"It is our fault. If we weren't so harsh on him…"
"No, he deserved that treatment. We just had to believe that he would never do something as stupid like taking the Dark Mark." Remus said.
"Let's get some sleep guys. We will visit Sirius in the morning." James sighed and the other boys nodded.
The following morning Sirius awoke with a loud pounding in his head and blinding lights that pained his eyes. He groaned and rolled on his side.
"Mister Black? Ah, it appears you woke up." Said the gentle voice of Madam Pomfrey. Sirius creaked his eyes open again and blinked a few times to get his vision straight.
"What happened?" He croaked, his throat dry.
"What is the last thing you remember?" She asked while handing him a glass of water.
"I sat on… a hill just outside Hogsmeade. The last thing I remembered was an angel calling my name and I was so cold." Sirius whispered, trying not to strain his throat too much.
Madam Pomfrey smiled when Sirius called his friend's voice that of an angel.
"That wasn't the voice of an angel, Sirius. That was James, I believe, looking for you."
"Why would he look for me? I betrayed Remus first and then they believed that I had become a Death Eater." Sirius frowned.
"Ah yes, that disgusting Mark your brother made. Rest assured that I will remove it as soon as possible." Sirius frowned when she said that and he looked at his arm. The black disfigurement was still there. He closed his eyes again and tried to ignore the pounding in his head.
"Why isn't it gone yet?" He asked.
"You got hexed by Slytherins, mister Black. Do you really think I can just wave my wand and make it go away? I believe you already tried that?" The nurse said. Sirius shook his head and closed his eyes again. Madam Pomfrey smiled sadly and left him alone.
A few hours later, after class had ended, three boys sneaked into the Hospital Wing. Sirius was looking at the ceiling, blinking slowly. James cleared his throat and the noise made Sirius look up. He paled when he saw his friends standing in the middle of the wing. He turned his head around and closed his eyes.
"You came to finish the job?" He asked, trying to hold back his tears.
"No man. Just came to say that we… are sorry for not trusting you. We talked to Snape. He told us that he and Regulus put that Mark on your arm." James said, walking closer to the bed Sirius was laying on. He touched the shoulder of the pure-blood, but the boy flinched away.
"Sirius, please, I forgive you for telling Snape." Remus pleaded with a quiet voice. Sirius opened his eyes and turned back towards his friends.
"Do you mean that?" He asked in a shaking voice. Remus smiled gently and nodded.
"Why would I lie about something like that?" The werewolf asked, laughter in his voice.
"Dunno…" Sirius mumbled, smiling a little bit. The three boys surrounded the bed Sirius was on and they started planning.
"So, how to get back on your brother and Snape?"
"Well, I had this plan while I was laying here…" Sirius told his plan and James got a mischievous glint in his eyes.
Madam Pomfrey stood in her little office with the door open. She smiled while listening to the boys and started preparing some potions. Her beds would soon be occupied by Slytherins who dared to separate the Marauders.