Disclaimer: This fic is the translated version of "Bureau Des Plaintes" written by "Kitsune no Kyuubi" she kindly let me translate her work and publish it. We wanted to share this original fic with the English-speaking community. The original story isn't complete yet, so I don't know what's going to happen next myself, only kit' knows.

Of course, Naruto's characters are the property of Masashi Kishimoto. Only Kishimoto has been maltreated in this story.

Beta : Zenerific1. Thanks for your big help!

The Complaints Office

Kishimoto's POV

I was sleeping lightly when the sound of the fridge's door closing woke me up. I intuitively guessed that it was Takahashi. That pig couldn't help it, he was always opening and closing the fridge. Noticing that I was up, he took a glance at my drawing broads -my former pillow- and teased me about my sleepless nights. I had stayed up to review my drawings. As a reply to his teasing, I wiped the string of drool I felt at the corner of my mouth. Growling, I stretched, which made my bones pop and relieved my painful muscles, they had been stuck too long in that uncomfortable position that I'd fallen asleep in. Since my hands were dirty with ink, I headed to the bathroom to wash up. In the mirror, I saw my stupid, sleepy face be replaced by an expression of annoyance. On my left cheek was written "Genius at work". That must be Kawahara's doing, the famous representative of humor in the team. At least, this time, he didn't have that amazing idea to knot my shoelaces, my last fall triggered Itakura's peculiar laugh. After ten minutes of intense cleaning, I managed to remove the ink off my face now covered by a very noticeable, red mark. Seeking comfort, I poured some coffee, made by Ikimoto, our self-proclaimed coffee-specialist. I sat by the window alone, to focus on the next move in the story. My editor was very satisfied with the latest chapter since it aroused the reaction of the public. Though, a part of me felt guilty but I couldn't pin point what was the source of the uneasy feeling.

At that moment, I saw him coming into my office. At first glance, he looked like a high schooler. He was wearing the typical dark uniform buttoned at the front. He had ebony hair and eyes as dark as my ink, accentuating the pallor of his skin. I was really surprised that the receptionist had let him wander around the building freely, usually, this floor was not permitted to fans. My curiosity got the better of me and I approached him.

"Hi, what are you doing here?"

"Sorry for the intrusion," he apologized moving closer to me, "I'm looking for Masashi Kishimoto."

"That would be me," I replied noticing that this guy was vaguely familiar to me. "Who are you?"

"My friends call me Sai," he replied while I stood stunned by the resemblance between him and the character I had created. "Besides, they sent me here, considering that I'm the most capable to control my emotions, and not to harm you physically and psychologically using the Sharingan. I'm here to inform you that they aren't happy with the turn of the latest events. They wanted to express their displeasure and their expectations to you."

I was speechless. This guy was completely insane. He thought that he was Sai, and he was really credible. I even began to question my sanity. I watched him sit in the chair in front of me. I didn't know if I should scream or laugh my ass off at this ridiculous situation.

"First, I would like to begin with my grievance," he began. "Since you have made me the matchmaker between Naruto and Sakura, you don't have any clue about the hard week I've been through. I'm the target of murderous fan fictions written by angry yaoi, Naru/Hina and Sasu/Saku fans. I must have died about ten times. I didn't do anything wrong to deserve this. It's unfair. Anyway, I don't understand anything about interpersonal relationships, so I'm not competent to assume the role you imposed upon me."

"But that's your charm…"

"My popularity is in free fall," he added. "And it wasn't high to begin with. Then, I did my own investigation with the others. According to Shikamaru, Sasuke is in love with Sakura and it's mutual. While Kiba, Shino, Neji, Tenten and Lee think that Hinata is totally head over heels in love with Naruto but the later is too stupid to notice it. As for Hinata, who was scarlet red when I asked her the question, she only wanted Naruto's happiness even if it's with Sakura. Ino believed that Sakura is made for Lee whom is crazy in love with Sakura. Choji told me that he was hungry. And Naruto has always proclaimed himself to be in love with Sakura. According to Sakura, she loves Sasuke. Sasuke preferred to keep quiet. And Karin is absolutely delighted about the Naru/Saku because it means one less rival for Sasuke."

"I didn't know that the opinions differed that much… maybe I should get your opinion from now on, to make your fate better"

"We didn't expect less from you," he said standing up and heading to my office's door. "Besides, they all came here to share their comments with you. I'll be by your side to assure the proper conduct for the interviews."

"What?" I asked incredulously. I never imagined that one day I'd meet my characters.

"Who wants to go first?" he shouted at the other side of the door.

"Me, me, me," shouted an extremely excited voice.

While Sai took a seat in the corner of the room to stay discreet and intervene when it was needed, I saw a weird looking guy with a bowl cut come in, he was wearing a tight green jumpsuit with bandages at his forearms and a chunin jacket. He ran towards me and quickly bowed. I was scared. Note to myself: "Improve Rock Lee's look, that's not pretty to see in person".

"Masashi-sama," Lee said, "it's a great pleasure and honor to meet my creator. I thank you for sparing my life during my fight against Gaara, knowing that there are few survivors after his murderous attacks."

"I don't see why I would have eliminated one of my favorite characters."

"Really? You really love me?" he asked me with his big, round eyes filled with tears "It … it wasn't easy for me after that … all the effort I have put into my nindo … the risks I have taken … the difficulties I have gone through… I really thought that you hated me."

"I never wanted to make you suffer," I reassured him. "I wanted to show that you were determined and able to fight the cruelty of fate. It makes you stronger. You're an example for everyone. Even for me."

"Your words comfort me," he said wiping his tears. "I feel better. Although, I'm still resentful towards you for trying to pair Sakura with Naruto according to the latest rumors I've heard. I love Sakura with all my heart! I will do anything for this girl! She's the fragrant flower that perfumes my days, the cherry blossom that embellishes my spring. Though, I'm perfectly aware that her heart belongs to someone else, she demonstrates it every time she calls me 'bushy brow', but I would like you to grant me this favor as a reward for all the torments I have faced."

"I can't make her love you but I'll ask her if it's possible. I guess that your look doesn't play in your favor."

"What? I don't see what's wrong with my look," he rushed to defend. "I have the same look as Gai-sensei."

"Exactly, we feel like you're a replica of Gai. If we put more 'Lee' in your look, it will help Sakura to see you differently, to distinguish your personality through your appearance."

"You think it's a good idea?" he asked skeptically. "I'm not sure that Gai-sensei would like it if I deny his style."

"Each student is expected to surpass his master one day or another. He will be happy to know that you developed your own style, and it will make him proud. So, I let you ponder this option, ok?"

"Ok. I'll let you know my decision," he concluded. "I was glad to meet you. I wish you good luck for the future."

***

P.S. If you like this fic, please leave a review and let us know. The beginning is kinda shy to spare Kishimoto, but the next chapter will be promising.

A/N: If there's any mistake, please let me know, English is not my native language. Thanks for reading!