A WORD FROM THE PRODUCERS
The continuation to "The Afterlife Coffee Break" is just as violent, if not more so. There is more cursing, more offensive jokes and more spoilers than you can shake a stick at. We like to consider it a family show.
EPISODE 1.5: The Required Anime Recap Episode of Love!
*****
A WHITE SET that really doesn't exist anywhere. LEGATO W. BLUESUMMERS is standing before a film crew in an immaculate white suit.
LEGATO: Hello, welcome back to the ongoing saga that is "The Afterlife Coffee Break." As you know, it's customary for Anime series to have a recap episode even when everybody is perfectly aware of what's going on. The producers decided that it would be a wise idea for us to do one as well since we've had an eventful season. I'm now going to summarize the events of the show in case any of you puny mortals missed what happened...
At that moment, NICHOLAS D. WOLFWOOD and SPIKE SPIEGEL run onto the set.
WOLFWOOD: (angrily) Why in the name of God were you selected to do the recap?
SPIKE: I was wondering the same thing....
LEGATO: I'm handsome and charismatic.
WOLFWOOD: Like hell you are! You can't even read the teleprompter because of your hair!
LEGATO: I'm going to improvise.
WOLFWOOD: You're going to get it all wrong!
LEGATO: (ignores him) If you recall, Wolfwood and Spike were the hosts of the number one ranked talk show in Heaven and the number two ranked talk show in Hell. All of that changed when Spike got a little horny.
SPIKE: I was sick!
LEGATO: Yeah right, we know exactly WHAT you were "sick" with too...Spike went off to find some booty leaving an open spot for a host. I stepped in and things got very interesting.
WOLFWOOD: Things got downright unbearable!
LEGATO: (pompously) Thanks to MY skill, the "Afterlife Coffee Break" surpassed every other show in ratings and now stands as number one.
WOLFWOOD: I still think it's because of Dominique and Charlotte...
LEGATO scowls at WOLFWOOD who scowls right back.
LEGATO: After the filming, Wolfwood received an amazing injury which still remains unexplained...
WOLFWOOD: Unexplained my ass!
LEGATO: Yes, the injury DID involve your ass, didn't it?
WOLFWOOD: (shaking violently) I....hate....you....
LEGATO: Moving on. Spike returned to co-host with me while Wolfwood recovered from his injuries and we had a very strange interview with Dominique the Cyclops.
SPIKE: Don't forget the part where you stole my mug!
LEGATO: I have no idea what you're talking about.
SPIKE begins looking for a grenade to toss at LEGATO.
LEGATO: Wolfwood returned and was angry with me for no reason...
SPIKE: No reason? Um...I don't think that's the way it happened....
LEGATO: He violently attacked me....
WOLFWOOD: I attacked YOU? You lying little....
LEGATO: (cuts him off) Things were going just fine until God got a little upset about all the fighting.
SPIKE: God was beyond being a 'little upset'...
WOLFWOOD: God was down right pissed...
LEGATO: We were all dropped kicked to Purgatory with all the quitters to do an on location interview with Kaji from Evangelion. Severe addiction to cigarettes and cheesecake landed Wolfwood and myself soundly in Hell where the "Afterlife Drinking, Fornicating, Lying, Stealing, Murdering, and, of course, Smoking Break" was filming. Wolfwood and myself ended up being the special guests...
WOLFWOOD: Funny how you forgot to include the part about you getting high, singing the wrong lyrics to "Soundlife" and telling me you loved me...
LEGATO: That's because none of that happened....
WOLFWOOD: I WILL hurt you...
LEGATO: Anyway! I befriended the hosts of the show, Sephiroth...
SPIKE: Who turned out to be a pyromaniac...
LEGATO:...and Vicious...
SPIKE: Who turned out to be a sticky fluid of unknown origins...
WOLFWOOD: And I got stuck in Hell with all of these crazy bastards....
SPIKE: While I got stranded in Purgatory doing the interview all by myself...
LEGATO: (irritated by the interruptions) Ahem! Spike finished up the interview and joined us in Hell which resulted in a very lame fight between him and Vicious.
SPIKE: (pouting) The jackass stole my lighter...
LEGATO: I decided to stay in Hell...
WOLFWOOD: You were FORBIDDEN to return to Heaven because you're an asshole!
LEGATO: (ignores him) And since I DECIDED to stay, I became the third host of the ADFLSM and of course SB...
SPIKE: (disturbed) Um...what did you just call it...?
WOLFWOOD: Spike and I returned to Heaven only to find the set had been completely destroyed by a grenade while Dominique was still on the set!
SPIKE: My bad.
WOLFWOOD: And to top it all off we now have a new co-host...
ALL: Rem!
LEGATO: The highlight of the entire show has been the revelation of Wolfwood's hilarious middle name...
SPIKE and LEGATO: "Dilbert"!
BOTH fall into fits of laughter.
WOLFWOOD: Sure, just laugh it up...
LEGATO: And now that you're up to speed, please sit back and relax while we bring you...
ALL: "The Afterlife Coffee Break"!
The continuation to "The Afterlife Coffee Break" is just as violent, if not more so. There is more cursing, more offensive jokes and more spoilers than you can shake a stick at. We like to consider it a family show.
EPISODE 1.5: The Required Anime Recap Episode of Love!
*****
A WHITE SET that really doesn't exist anywhere. LEGATO W. BLUESUMMERS is standing before a film crew in an immaculate white suit.
LEGATO: Hello, welcome back to the ongoing saga that is "The Afterlife Coffee Break." As you know, it's customary for Anime series to have a recap episode even when everybody is perfectly aware of what's going on. The producers decided that it would be a wise idea for us to do one as well since we've had an eventful season. I'm now going to summarize the events of the show in case any of you puny mortals missed what happened...
At that moment, NICHOLAS D. WOLFWOOD and SPIKE SPIEGEL run onto the set.
WOLFWOOD: (angrily) Why in the name of God were you selected to do the recap?
SPIKE: I was wondering the same thing....
LEGATO: I'm handsome and charismatic.
WOLFWOOD: Like hell you are! You can't even read the teleprompter because of your hair!
LEGATO: I'm going to improvise.
WOLFWOOD: You're going to get it all wrong!
LEGATO: (ignores him) If you recall, Wolfwood and Spike were the hosts of the number one ranked talk show in Heaven and the number two ranked talk show in Hell. All of that changed when Spike got a little horny.
SPIKE: I was sick!
LEGATO: Yeah right, we know exactly WHAT you were "sick" with too...Spike went off to find some booty leaving an open spot for a host. I stepped in and things got very interesting.
WOLFWOOD: Things got downright unbearable!
LEGATO: (pompously) Thanks to MY skill, the "Afterlife Coffee Break" surpassed every other show in ratings and now stands as number one.
WOLFWOOD: I still think it's because of Dominique and Charlotte...
LEGATO scowls at WOLFWOOD who scowls right back.
LEGATO: After the filming, Wolfwood received an amazing injury which still remains unexplained...
WOLFWOOD: Unexplained my ass!
LEGATO: Yes, the injury DID involve your ass, didn't it?
WOLFWOOD: (shaking violently) I....hate....you....
LEGATO: Moving on. Spike returned to co-host with me while Wolfwood recovered from his injuries and we had a very strange interview with Dominique the Cyclops.
SPIKE: Don't forget the part where you stole my mug!
LEGATO: I have no idea what you're talking about.
SPIKE begins looking for a grenade to toss at LEGATO.
LEGATO: Wolfwood returned and was angry with me for no reason...
SPIKE: No reason? Um...I don't think that's the way it happened....
LEGATO: He violently attacked me....
WOLFWOOD: I attacked YOU? You lying little....
LEGATO: (cuts him off) Things were going just fine until God got a little upset about all the fighting.
SPIKE: God was beyond being a 'little upset'...
WOLFWOOD: God was down right pissed...
LEGATO: We were all dropped kicked to Purgatory with all the quitters to do an on location interview with Kaji from Evangelion. Severe addiction to cigarettes and cheesecake landed Wolfwood and myself soundly in Hell where the "Afterlife Drinking, Fornicating, Lying, Stealing, Murdering, and, of course, Smoking Break" was filming. Wolfwood and myself ended up being the special guests...
WOLFWOOD: Funny how you forgot to include the part about you getting high, singing the wrong lyrics to "Soundlife" and telling me you loved me...
LEGATO: That's because none of that happened....
WOLFWOOD: I WILL hurt you...
LEGATO: Anyway! I befriended the hosts of the show, Sephiroth...
SPIKE: Who turned out to be a pyromaniac...
LEGATO:...and Vicious...
SPIKE: Who turned out to be a sticky fluid of unknown origins...
WOLFWOOD: And I got stuck in Hell with all of these crazy bastards....
SPIKE: While I got stranded in Purgatory doing the interview all by myself...
LEGATO: (irritated by the interruptions) Ahem! Spike finished up the interview and joined us in Hell which resulted in a very lame fight between him and Vicious.
SPIKE: (pouting) The jackass stole my lighter...
LEGATO: I decided to stay in Hell...
WOLFWOOD: You were FORBIDDEN to return to Heaven because you're an asshole!
LEGATO: (ignores him) And since I DECIDED to stay, I became the third host of the ADFLSM and of course SB...
SPIKE: (disturbed) Um...what did you just call it...?
WOLFWOOD: Spike and I returned to Heaven only to find the set had been completely destroyed by a grenade while Dominique was still on the set!
SPIKE: My bad.
WOLFWOOD: And to top it all off we now have a new co-host...
ALL: Rem!
LEGATO: The highlight of the entire show has been the revelation of Wolfwood's hilarious middle name...
SPIKE and LEGATO: "Dilbert"!
BOTH fall into fits of laughter.
WOLFWOOD: Sure, just laugh it up...
LEGATO: And now that you're up to speed, please sit back and relax while we bring you...
ALL: "The Afterlife Coffee Break"!