A/N: Destiel at heart.
Song: Haunted -Evanescence
I'd love to say I owned the Winchesters and Castiel but the sad fact is I don't. Lisa and Ben are only mentioned to keep parts Cannon with season 6 of the show.
The apocalypse was derailed and everything was back to normal with hunters clearing up the mess caused by the temper tantrum of Lucifer. Dean had carried out his brother's last wish and had given up hunting to live with Lisa and Ben trying for that Apple pie life like Sam had wanted. It just wasn't where he was meant to be, he wanted to be dead, his brother was gone and so was Castiel. For the past year he'd been drinking to hide his pain. That was until he fell asleep inside the Impala after crying himself to sleep for the 100th time inside that car.
Long lost words whisper slowly to me
"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition." Was whispered slowly to him. Words he'd thought he'd lost, long forgetten words from the mouth of an angel. His voice was exactly how Dean remembered it right down to the huskiness his voice enveloped every emotion in.
Still can't find what keeps me here
When all this time I've been so hollow inside
(I know you're still there)
He woke and he was once again alone, unable to remember why he was still there, but unable to bring himself to end it all. He hadn't felt anything except pain since he arrived on their doorstep half out of his mind with grief.
"I know you're still there!" Dean screamed just like he did everytime he heard those words whispered in his ear. He was a mess, truth was he was crazy with grief.
Watching me and wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you pull me down
As Dean stood in the garage he could feel a pair of eyes watching him as he stood panicked. In all his years of unting he'd never felt this freaked out, maybe the years of doing nutso jobs were catching up with him or maybe something was watching him with want. He tried to run but felt a pair of arms try pulling him down, as if he was being pulled to hell, but he knew those arms. memories of being scared of the entity who had hidden inside the meatsuit of Jimmy Novak flooded into his mind before being washed away by memories of loving the angel. Fear and Love, that had been their realtionship and that was what he felt now.
"You won't pull me down, I won't let you." He whispered scrabbling to stay on his feet getting stronger with everytime he repated the mantra.
Hunting you, I can smell you alive
Your heart pounding in my head
Dean grabbed his shotgun with the rock salt rounds and waved it around for a short while as if hunting an invisible enitity, as if it was a hell hound. He closed his eyes and suddenly he was hit by a smell he recognised, the smell of cleanliness, the smell of Castiel. the smell was as if the angel was alive and stood in front of him embracing the broken hunter. He grabbed the sides of his head pounding with the heartbeat he missed so much.
Watching me and wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Saving me, raping me, watching me
He felt the eyes watching him again wanting him more. Again he felt himself being pulled down but he fought. He couldn't let the spirit win, he shot round after round of salt rounds but still he could feel it. more memories came and took hold of his mind, Castiel saving him from hell, the first time he lay with the angel, the final time he woke to find the fallen angel already awake and watching him. More memories came and staggered him. He was off gaurd and the entity knew it.
Watching me and wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you pull me down
The more the eyes watched, the more freaked Dean became and weaker he was. He was pulled into a sitting position and found himself rocking sobbing with fear, love and grief. He looked up hearing the sound of wings and saw Castiel stood watching him.
"You died." He cried at the figure believing it to be real.
"I did. I died for you Dean Winchester." Castiel spoke for the first time since Dean had started seeing him. after falling asleep in the impala. He buried his face in his arms hearing the wings again.
Hours passed and Lisa stepped into the grage looking for the man she shared her house and life with, that was when she saw Dean curled on the floor of the garage and she instantly knew that he'd had another of his episodes, his grief had taken over his mind and he kept seeing things that weren't there. he wasn't insane, just finding it hard to let go.
"Castiel you son of a bitch." She whispered knowing that the angel was behind the state Dean was in.