(AN: Hey there. I'm glad you're reading this, so thanks. This is my first fic ever, despite being a lurker here for a very long time. Hopefully you enjoy it, and please don't hesitate to lay it on me. This is intended to have several parts, so please bear with me as school imposes suffering through papers on me. I'm a little late on the uptake here with an Awakening story with Fates being out, aren't I? Anyway, happy reading!)

Another day, spent in the same way.

Another day, standing in the same spot he did every day.

Another day… another day of life passing him by.

The brown-haired male, caught somewhere late between boy and man, stared down at the ground. He had grown tired of the same old thing. Day after day, he found himself wondering if maybe, just maybe, he should go home. It seemed pointless to be here, surrounded by all these great people, while he remained in the shadows, wishing for more. He sighed and pulled himself up off of the ground, brushing off the seat of his trousers and wiping the resulting dust from his palms. I suppose, at least, he thought, to comfort his wandering mind, I can be relieved that it's only another regular day, rather than something terrible.

Shifting his gaze to the hills in the distance, he couldn't help but feel the loneliness setting in again. It had bitten his heart countless times, some days worse than others, and he bit his lip in the same way. He always held it all back. Not that anyone would really care, anyway. The hills taunted him, beckoning him back to his home. But he realized it was just fantasy. Nothing would be changed, as much as he hoped it would be, even if he went back. His brother would be different, of course, but the lingering feeling of sorrow would still hold him captive. His face grew wistful at the thought.

The passersby continuing about their business as usual, he spent his time politely stepping out of their way. He made a point to stay out of their path overall, knowing that he wasn't really welcome. Sure, they let him stay there and fight beside them, but everything had always been different for him. It's like all everyone ever saw in him was that he was just… there. Or maybe not. He felt he wasn't worth all that much to begin with.

I'd hoped for better, but I guess I can deal with this.

He gave up on his sightseeing and walked away from the camp, making his way to a place he'd always found to help him forget, or at least escape for a little while. The lake glittered in the light of the afternoon sun, the glistening waters lapping at the lakeshore, back and forth, back and forth, the metronome of the vale. His troubled face lightened at the sight. Another part of his life that remained constant, yet he loved it instead. Something about the ebb and flow of the lake's tide set him at peace. It never changed. It was eternally doing what it did, perhaps because that was all it could do. Maybe he saw himself in the lake somehow. He, too, did all he could.

He chuckled as he walked toward the water, tracing his hand along the bark of the birches that lined the shore. The peeling parchment-like exterior of the wood felt soft against his fingertips, caressing him in their familiar embrace, but all good things must come to an end. He left the tree line to stand at the edge of the pebbled beach. The water gathered right before where he stood, and he fought the urge to take a step into the tide. He loved the feel of the water, but the oncoming evening had cooled the world around him. "It would be senseless to get wet now," he murmured to himself, deciding it might be better to take a step backwards instead.

Leaning down to pick up a pebble and inspect it, his feet sank into the soft shore, beginning to cover his shoes with flecks of dirt and pebble pieces. His eyes glazed as he looked past it, the world before him out of focus again, as his mind drifted back to the same empty thoughts. Even here, he couldn't fight it sometimes. How the world works, a mystery to him, but it happened all the same. He thought back to the final time he'd tried to connect with another, the time where he began to confront his fate.

...

"Excuse me… Cordelia?"

The red-haired Pegasus Knight looked up from her task at hand, put down the dishes, and turned to face him. "Oh! You surprised me, haha. I was so lost in scrubbing, I suppose. Is there something I can do for you?"

The man paused for a few moments, then tentatively posed his question. "Do you think that the other Shepherds like me?"

Cordelia raised her brows. "What led you to believe that they don't? I've never seen anything unappealing about you."

"But, well, the problem is, I don't think people really care if… hm. They don't care whether I'm around or not, o-or so it seems."

"Ah. I don't understand why you would think such a thing. Of course you're appreciated. You work hard and you're very agreeable overall."

Sighing, he avoided her questioning gaze and murmured, "It just doesn't feel that way, I suppose. Maybe it's me that's the problem, not everyone else." He shook his head and met her eyes once more. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have troubled you with this. It's very silly."

"No, you haven't wasted my time, if that's how you feel about it. I'm happy to hear you out. I'm sure all this must hurt you. Doesn't it?"

The man remained silent. He didn't want to validate those feelings. He'd rather just pretend they didn't exist, at this point. Despite her assurance otherwise, he really had distracted her from more important work than his feelings.

"I'm very sorry that it upsets you. If it means anything to you, I'm glad you're around. You've contributed just as much as anyone else," she said, her face shifting into a warm smile. He felt himself grow more anxious at the thought of feeling worthy, being appreciated. What's this? Why would I be afraid of what I want? I… what? This doesn't make sense. This doesn't make sense! Why?

He found himself stepping back and nodding his head, giving muffled words of gratitude and quickly leaving the area. His thoughts were scrambled, almost panicked. Breathing heavily, he'd left the camp and found somewhere quiet to calm himself, in his solitude once more. She went right back to work, as if nothing had happened. I saw it. What have I done wrong?

...

The waves swept ahead of him as he remembered, the crashing hurricane he felt within overpowering their sound. Eyes brimming with tears, he swiped them away angrily with the sleeve of his coarse brown sweater. The material scratched at his face, an unpleasant, painful sensation. He wiped endlessly, new tears coming to replace their predecessors. And soon, he was frozen, crouching there in solemn silence. Slick trails traveled down his cheeks and he began to choke on his newborn sobs, bringing his hands to his throat in an attempt to block them out.

It was no use. He hunched over and kneeled in the pebbles, water squeezing out under his knees, and placed his hands ahead of him in the tide. The water consumed his hands, just as it consumed the searing tears dropping down. Gods, how small you are! Weak, even!, his thoughts screamed at him. He couldn't even cry out anymore. His throat was too closed to manage anything but stilted squeaks and the cut-off attempts of his voice to break through the barrier.

He gave in to the weakness, letting himself sink lower into the lakeshore. Water seeped into his clothes and soaked through to his skin. His face hovered over the water as his arms began to quiver from supporting his body on unsteady ground and, finally able to speak again, he only let out a pitiful wail. He sobbed, racked with internal unbearable pain for what seemed like hours, but the initial impact eventually subsided.

Slowly, he began to calm down, the screeching burn of his mind fading into nothing. He couldn't bear to move, feeling sad and sore, so he let himself lay there in the ever-moving water that was beginning to chill. The sunset had worked its way to the horizon now, he saw, and he knew that this time was at an end. What a waste of time it had been.

He would not let the lies break him down next time. He promised that. Well, he tried, anyway.

Standing up carefully and pulling off pebbles indenting his skin, he took a deep shaky breath. This place wasn't a safe haven anymore. It had been tainted. Hopefully he could find another place and end this cycle. All he could do now was hope. He'd hope for one day, then another day, then another…

I can't accept this weakness. I must remain strong.

He'd said it so many times, he wasn't sure if it mattered anymore. Walking away from the spot, he had another idea that started to gnaw on his mind. Why was this so sudden, so… abrupt? I've never fell so quickly before. What was was different just now from all the other times? He wished he knew. Unfortunately for him, there was no more he could do about it for the present time. The man decided it would be best to just leave things be and forget today. Maybe the problems would solve themselves if he left them alone.

Good night, lake. See you around.