Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, it would be considered a shonen ai manga.
A/N. This is my first Fanfiction. If you don't like it; stop reading it.
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The three of them stood in front of the Hokage's desk.
They stared intently at the Blonde seated only metres away.
She stood up stumbling slightly and when she spoke her speech was slurred.
The three nervously jumped when their Beloved Leader slammed her hands on the table.
"You in the middle; get your fine ass over here now!" She slurred.
Naruto hesitantly walked up to the desk.
A drunken Tsunade was not one to be tampered with.
"Yeah, I know its damn fine-" He was abruptly cut off by a harsh punch to the gut.
No one had seen her emerge from behind the desk but Naruto rolling on the floor gasping for breath was proof enough.
The other two boys stood motionless in the line of fire.
"And you!" she wobbled her way over the green clad ninja.
"Uhmm, Hokage-sama, is this some kind of new training method? How truly wonderful! Your steps are so unpredictable! This will prove most useful on the battlefield-"Lee was cut off as the Hokage staggered before him, grabbed his shoulder and promptly puked on him.
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"SHE PUKED ON ME!"The youthful ninja screeched.
"Calm down Lee. It could have been worse." The Brunettes attempts to calm down the hysteric boy went unheeded. Instead he was rewarded with the popping of his eardrums.
"HOW!?!? HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE WORSE?!?"
The boy's hoarse shrieks ripped through the incredibly thick scent of sake and the other various foods that stained his clothes.
"We could be outside right now." Shikamaru mused as he stared at the half naked boy in front before him.
Lee quickly fell silent at the statement.
The three were currently in the buildings bathroom attempting to clean the bile off of Lee's clothing.
Naruto, who lay forgotten on the floor, woke; gripping what ribs he had left.
"Hey Shika, did we get our mission or what?"He wheezed from the floor.
The Blonde stared up at his comrades searching for an answer.
The air went stale in the tiny bathroom.
The only sounds present were the running water pouring over Lee's jumpsuit and Naruto's labored breathing.
In just a moment another noise was added as a large slam sounded from the direction of the only exit to the tiny bathroom.
Naruto couldn't help but stare panic-stricken at the abused door.
Shikamaru let out a sigh as he listened to the sound of footsteps fading in the distance.
Lee had run out of the bathroom naked, except for his briefs.
Shikamaru raised his hand to point at the door and as if on cue there was a loud shriek from what seemed to be upstairs.
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"Uhmm, Lee? Where are your clothes?"
"Oh, uhmm, well you see, aha... that's a long story! I'm sorry Neji-san but I really must hurry!"And with that Lee ran down the hall into the Hokage's office, leaving a bewildered Neji, and blushing Hinata in his wake.
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"Lee! This is the Hokage's mansion! Have some self respect! Where are your clothes?!"
"Well, Hokage-sama, you vomited on them. I had not the time to run home to change you see, for I remembered that we had not received our mission as of yet. And you yourself said that this mission was a top priority! I could not afford to leave it unattended for a mere moment! You see, in my hurry, I also forgot to ask if I could borrow anything from my teammates to cover myself up in! I am truly sorry for my atrocious behavior but you must understand that I came here as fast as I could to-"
"Lee, shut up." The Blonde growled, clutching her throbbing head.
She knew all too well that, if not stopped, the boy would continue to blabber on about pointless things that only increased her forming headache.
"Here Lee-san, this is your mission," the small assistant behind the counter addressed him now, "The Kazekage has decided that he would like to work with Konoha in a joint village activity, seeing as Gaara-kun has very specific preferences, we decided to have you three go to the sand village and work with him personally, on behalf of Konoha."
Lee stared blankly at her.
If that was the mission criteria then why did they pick him and Naruto? Shikamaru seemed right for the job but were Naruto and him really the cut out for this kind of assignment?
"Uhmm, Shizune-Chan, if you don't mind my asking, why would you choose the Naruto and I for this sort of a mission? Shikamaru seems well suited but don't you think that Sakura would be more useful, seeing as she is Tsunade-sama's prodigy, and she has the best interest for the village and its inhabitants? Not that I'm complaining about my mission! On the contrary, I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity! I was just curious. It's a perfectly normal thing in youth nowadays!"
The boy was obviously confused, and the women's fidgeting didn't help him all too much either.
"Well, you see Lee, that part involves more of his special preferences. Shikamaru is well suited, and Naruto and Gaara-kun have a mutual friendship going on so he seemed right too. Your case is bit harder to explain I'm afraid." The girl stuttered a bit. She didn't seem to want to explain to him the reasons they had selected him of all people.
The situation was putting Lee on edge. Why would they pick him? If not for Gaara, Lee would have been able to train instead of lying in a hospital bed for about a month. Had Gaara not risked his neck to save Lee from the bone wielder all those years ago, Lee might still have felt a little sour towards the red head.
"Lee? Did you hear what I said?"Shizune seemed concerned from her spot behind the desk.
"Uhmm, I'm sorry Shizune-chan! I was lost in thought! How rude of me. We were having a conversation and I let my thoughts overwhelm me. I'm extremely sorry! Please! As punishment, allow me to go on without knowing the reason for your choice! Argh... even though it will eat away at me... NO! I will not turn down my promise! I will- Wait, what?"Somewhere in between his ramblings, he finally comprehended what Shizune was trying to explain.
The Kazekage had asked for Lee personally.
The Kazekage had been looking forward to working with him.
The Kazekage had publicly announced that he was gay.
"So, wait!" Lee faltered slightly; "what does that have to do with anything! Gaara is just exploring the innocence of youth! Just because he chose to be that way, does not have anything to do with anything!" Lee said with a smile.
Shizune blanched before taking a deep breath. "Gaara has personally selected you on this mission. He is gay. He likes men."
Lee raised a horrendously large eyebrow, "I still do not understand Sensei!"
Tsunade, still slightly drunk, blurted out; "He wants to get your pants, bitch!"
"Well, I know spandex is really popul-"
"He wants to man-hump you! Have sex with you! Play a game of baseball; and you'd be the catcher! Put his dick in your box!"
Lee paused before promptly fainting.