Mistakes To Habit
Orion P.O.V.
"I fell in love with Jess because she wasn't the stereotypical girl. She preferred exploring to shopping, food to anorexia, blue to pink. But lately she had begun to change. She was becoming a different girl than the one I knew and love.
"It began a few months ago. She started looking for more girlish clothing, and started to shove food away. I thought it was just a girl thing, that she was just going through that time of month. But it when on longer than it should've, so one day, I visited her at her house. Screaming at me to go away, and that I wouldn't understand, she shoved me away. Naturally, I did what anyone would've done. I broke down the door and went in pursuit of her.
"I found her in the bathroom, naked, bruised, and cut. She clutched a razor that was dripping blood onto the white tiled floor. And she had starved herself so much, you could easily count her ribs. Her frightened blue eyes met mine, and I lost it. I yanked the razor out of her hand and flung it into the sink, screaming at her while tears streamed down my face. Cupping her in my arms, I demanded to know why. With those blue eyes focused on mine, she told me she hated herself, for being the 'wanna be' in out group, for trying to help everyone with little success, and for being so little in the world.
"I did the only thing I thought I could: I kissed her and told her that I wanted my Jess back, the one who didn't care what others thought, the one I loved. I made her promise to stop, and that I'd help her make things right.
"We ended up crying and kissing ourselves to sleep, with my arms wrapped around her, and her head in my collarbone.
"I woke up to a stiff and cold Jess. She had died from blood loss and starvation.
"But the worst thing is, I let her die. I didn't patch up her wounds. I didn't give her food. I let her die right in front of me." Orion's voice wavers and dies, crying so hard his vision is blurred. He can barely see his friends looking at him in horror. He falls to his knees, his face in his hands as he sobs Jess's name, followed closely by a "why."
The fresh cuts on his wrists sting.