Authors note: Hope you enjoy this dank ass adventure about choro getting rekt this is only the first chapter so there will be more garbage soon I'm already working on the next chapter so stay tuned or not I don't care also all of the spelling and grammar errors are made on purpose I may be a bad writer but I'm not that bad (maybe) anyhow, enjoy this trash!
It was around 4:20 pm when shit hit the motherfuckin fan. All of the matsuno bois were around the house doing their matsu thing, Osomatsu was hanging out in the livingroom reading 'Hot Money', a magazine which featured many different moneys from around the world. 'Hot Money' is just one of the many different money mags that oso keeps in his porno collection. Since everyone was out doing shit he was allowed to read them in the open. Good thing too cus he had like 24 boners rn. Karamatsu was on the roof chillin', listening to All Star by Smash Mouth. He's been listening to All Star on constant repeat for 6 weeks now going on 7. He bought all of Smash Mouth's albums just to delete them and leave All Star untouched, he has spent over 400 bucks in the last 4 weeks just on Smash Mouth merch. Everyone's fucking pissed at him to say the least.
Ichimatsu was in their room cleaning off his cat fur suit and getting it ready for Furcon a furry convention that's happening in about 2 weeks or so. Jyushimatsu was on the floor next to ichi, lying there violently convulsing and foaming at the mouth whilst speaking in tongues. Todomatsu was sitting on his lazy ass in the kitchen, scrolling through Tumblr, Facebook, Youtube, Instagram, Twitter, Deviantart, Vine, , Wattpad, Furaffinity and Pinterest, all at the same time. He keep breaking everyone's laptop cus he keeps falling for the "your computer has been infected with malware" or the "you're the 1,000,000th visitor you've won a free ipad mini!" scams. This boi is a slut for free shit just like his brothers. Just as todo was looking at what's trending on twitter the laptop made a sort of "ZZZZNNNNNNK" sound and the screen went black. "fuCKin SHIT! There goes another laptop!" He says as he throws the now broken laptop out the trash window. Its called the trash window cus everytime todo broke a laptop he threw it out that particular window. After the first couple of broken laptops everyone learned to keep that window open. The laptop flies out the window and after a couple of seconds there is a loud "SHHEEEEEiitttttt". 'Fuck' todo thought, "Sorry Iyami!". Iyami was walking away angrily by the time Todo got to the window, blood and electricals decorated iyami's face. Todo heard a distant "Fuck off, Zansu!" Todo leaned his head on his hand as he stared confused at iyami, 'he's an odd one' thought totty. Every Time totty would throw something out of the trash window iyami would always be there without fail. He would always get hit.
Totty got up and went to look for todo, he had to break the news that he broke his limited edition nyaa-chan laptop, it was signed my nyaa-chan herself and had couple pics of her left boob in the picture files. After looking through almost all of the rooms in the house he didn't find choro, 'weird' thought titty 'i could have sworn i seen choro this morning'. Toot thought back to this morning at breakfast.
Toodo was sitting at the table with everyone else. They were eating everyone's favorite breakfast, anime rice. He was sitting there checking his tinder when he heard someone walk into the room, it was Choromatsu. He looked nervous about something. He was always nervous about something but he looked 1000 times nervous today. Choro sat down at the table. He looked exhausted, like he had been up the whole night playing 'Super Hentai World', the new action adventure mmorpg dress up shooter game that came out last month. Choro was doing some odd jobs to get that game like washing dishes, working at the local bar, and some 'other' jobs that he won't tell us about. I looked at him once more and i studied his face. He had black rings under his eyes, his hair was a mess and he reeked of piss, sweat, and dewritos. 'Maybe i'll bring up his video game addiction later' thought tot.
He got up and put his bowl in the kitchen when he came back in the room he saw his brothers huddling in a corner, they were trying to hide from jyushi because he was trying to sacrifice them again. 'Silly jyushimatsu nii-san' thought toitty. Todoo left the room just as jyushi was running around the room shirtless yelling "THE DARK LORD IS HERE!" For todo's own safety he decided to stay in the kitchen and wait till jyushi's episode is over. Totty sat in the kitchen for a couple of minutes before realising that he didn't have his laptop with him! Totty went to the living room and poked his head in to see jyushi had kara hanging upside down on the wall, he was crying and it looked like he pissed himself. Jyushimatsu had painted a pentagram on the wall behind kara, how he did that in such little time was a mystery to all of us.
Totyy looked at choro and he was hiding behind a pretty enthused ichimatsu. "Oi! Choromatsu nii-san!" Whisper yelled toob. Choromatsu looked over at todo and looked semi relieved. Choro bear crawled over to tody and escaped into the kitchen. "You needed to see me totty?" Said Choromatsu, "yeah i need to borrow your laptop." "No! you're gonna break it just like everyone else's!" "Please choro! I swear i won't break it!" Pleaded totty. "NO!" "...nii-san if you let me borrow your laptop i'll...get you leaked nudes of nyaa-chan~" yes maybe if totty bribed him with the sacred pics of nyaa-chan he could get his laptop. Did he really have the nudes? no...BUT he DID have the tools necessary in making shitty really badly photoshopped nudes of her. 'Hehehe he'll never know the difference! Ha what an idiot!' Churro perked up and looked hopeful for a minute but his face changed to a look of restraint. Choro really wanted those sweet pics of nyaa-chans hawt bod but he couldn't afford to buy another laptop plus this one was signed by nyaa-chan herself! 'Maybe i could let him borrow it and if he does break it i could go to the same guy who got me this one but that just means i have to do some 'other' jobs again.' Choro didn't know if he could handle the ass pain the 'oth- no you know what we all know he had to do butt stuff to get that laptop no need to hide it.
'No i can't let him borrow it, sorry nyaa nudes'. "For the last time no totty!...Even though those pics are very tempting" "But-" their conversation was interrupted abruptly when osomatsu crawled into the kitchen looking frightened. "Choromatsu jesus christ! You gotta help us! Jyushi's running around naked trying to stab everyone with a pencil he found on the ground! He's got karamatsu tied to the wall and ichi is hiding behind the couch.." Osomatsu stops for a minute and looks back for a minute. "...fuck...it's quiet...w-where did he-!" Suddenly oso is jerked back onto the ground and is forcibly dragged back into the living room "OH SHIT! OH GOD W-WHAT ARE YO-...NO NOT THE CHOPSTIC-AHHHH!" Choro gave totty a goddamn it look and said "fine! You can use it!" Choro went to go get the laptop. He came back 3 minutes later with the machine and handed it to totto. Totty thought he should ask him why he looks so tired and why he smells like a old crazy homeless man who sits at the end of corners on the street and flashes his bone to every car who passes him. But instead he just gave a short "thanks bich" and went to the table. Choro reluctantly shuffled to the living room, after a couple of minutes he heard choro yell angrily "oh GOD DAMN IT GET HIM OFF OF THE CEILING YOU'LL GET BLOOD ON THE CARPET!"
And that's the last time he saw chruro. They finally got jyushimatsu to calm down after a few gentle baseball bat swings to the head with the help of a couple of horse tranquilizers. Totty has been in the kitchen for like 7 hours and in those hours he didn't even see churro come in to get lunch. Totty was starting to get worried! What if something happened to his big brother nii-san-kun! Totty decided to go look around some more and stopped hopelessly 'eh he's probably off somewhere charging his j.o. crystal.' Totoy thought. It's odd though cus he didn't hear choro's usual fap faps. Totby decided he needed a little break since he's been searching for a whole 4 minutes so he went into their bedroom to go and look at his phone i don't fuckin know. So he sat down on the couch next to jyushimatsu who was still violently convulsing. 'i guess the horse tranqs haven't worn off yet...wait.' That's when totty noticed it. The smell. The familiar smell. The familiar smell of piss and dewritos! Totty quickly got up and looked behind the couch. Tuty gasped and fell backwards in horror. 'N-no..it c-can't be…' he thought. In tet's horror he had discovered a...completely daed churomatsu!