NOTE: This story is based off the original NES Final Fantasy III. And, for the kicker, I only went up to the beginning of the Fire Cave. Thus, I know nothing of the job classes that you can receive in the game. That being said, enjoy :D

Disclaimer: Dude, I don't own any of this. It was all Square's idea. I was off yodeling at the time.

When Light Warriors LOSE THEIR JOBS!!

Mark stood near a seaside cliff. He looked off at the brilliant sunset splayed before him. Seaspray glistened on his armor as he appreciated the bold colors and fading light of the day. His burnished red hair was pulled by a wisp of wind, and he smiled. Today had been quite an excellent adventure. They had whipped some monsters' asses, collected some Gil, performed minor surgery, and saved a town from an evil magician. His muscles ached from all the sword swinging and body lifting he had done today. However, he felt accomplished for the first time in a long time. When he and his brothers had finally saved the world from darkness, he had entered a blue funk. But helping people had resparked his love of life. Being a knight was probably the best thing that had happened to him.

"MARK!" his little brother Dean hollered, "Could you come into the inn for a sec!?"

"Can do. Gimme a sec!" he responded. He pulled his sword out of the ground where he had planted it, sheathed it, and sauntered inside the inn whistling a lilting tune.

Dean held the door for him. Tall, with flowing white hair, a plumed hat, and a long crimson jacket, Dean was the consummate red mage. Always ready with a plan, always calm, and ready to pick up a sword to defend his friends. Not heavy swords, of course. Those would wreck his back.

Dean led Mark to a small room. Candles lined the walls around a dusty wooden table with two split-backed chairs on opposite sides. Dean motioned for Mark to take a seat. He closed the door and circled the table, taking the other seat for himself. He pulled out some papers, shuffled them and sucked in a breath.

"Mark, we need to have a little talk about your performance." Dean said with a poker face.

Mark's smile dropped a centimeter.

"W-…What do you mean, Dean?"

"Mark…you're my brother. We've had great times together. We discovered the Wind Crystal together. We kicked some major ass, got the chicks, and saved the world. But lately…lately, Mark…..ever since we began this pilgrimage to give the people the means to save themselves, the blessing of job classes...you just haven't been fighting to your potential."

"What are you talking about, Dean?! I did great today! We tore up that sea mage so bad, Erik's magic wouldn't be able to fix that mess!"

"Mark, all you did today was kick octopi in the groin."

"Yeah! In order to drop their defenses!"

"Mark, octopi don't have testicles."

"Well, I didn't see you doin' much!"

"That's because you were too busy shielding townspeople from the evils of bathwater."

"Hey, you never know when that stuff will sneak up on you!"

"Just like rocks and orangutans?"

"Hey! You were there when that rock walked into my face!"

"Ian threw it at your face, dumbass."

"…Why would he do such a thing?"

"That doesn't matter. Mark, you're a hindrance to this group. We feel that your Capacity would be better allocated somewhere else. We've already hired outside help."

Mark's eyes widened. He gripped the edge of the table until the wood cracked. He stood up at once and yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!"

Dean calmly said, "Mark…you're fired."

"WHAT? NOOOO!!" A huge flash filled the room. Dean shielded his eyes as an unearthly scream tore through the room. The blinding light dissipated as Mark fell to the floor with only a shirt, breeches, and a cheap wooden helmet on his head. He was an onion knight. Again.

"I'll give you some time to clear out your things," Dean said as he left the room.

Mark leapt to his feet. Without another word, he fled into the night, crying his bleeding eyes out.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first fanfic, everybody. Flame if you want to, say what you want, help me become better at this. The idea I had in mind for this project would lend itself better to a comic, but I'm a drawing lightweight. So, here you go! Hopefully, this will become WAY funnier as it goes.