Yume shouldn't have been there. She knew it was wrong to be in the stronghold of the Akatsuki. After all, every one of them were S-class criminals who kill without batting an eye. It was dangerous and could get her in trouble even if she was "saved". Technically, she'd been kidnapped from her home in the middle of the night by Sasori and Deidara and had been ordered to keep house for all of them. And at first, she resisted.

But then again, at first, no one seemed to realize that "please" was a magic word that made her more compliable to meet the demands placed upon her. Hidan never said please but then again, that was just his way and she accepted that. But everyone else was not exempt. Some of them didn't eat and she, being a hostile female, didn't offer them any food anyway.

It wasn't until Itachi, sick of convenience stores and eating out, entered her kitchen and asked politely, albeit impatiently, if she would make some food for him. The girl's eyes widened at the nice question and smiled at him, her cheeks blushing happily as she busied herself making food... for one Itachi Uchiha. It wasn't until then that she realized that she missed cooking food for people who wanted it. She liked making her customers happy. But they did have to treat her with some respect.

Suddenly Yume had a thought- it wasn't like she'd been abused by these criminals. A talking-to, sure... Hidan cursed at her and did his creepy-voodoo shit but nothing had happened in retaliation... but even criminals had to eat, right? And the next time Sasori entered the kitchen, she asked him if he wanted something to eat.

He blinked blankly as if he hadn't expected her to talk to him.

And that made her feel like such a bitch. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to act so harshly. But you guys did kidnap me and order me around like a slave. I was angry..."

"... and you're not anymore?" His voice was deep and monotone but it held a softness that she hadn't expected.

Yume shook her head. "Not really. More like annoyed that none of you are very polite when you demand food," she replied, shrugging. "It's a waste of time to be angry about being taken from my home. After all, I have no idea where I am."

Sasori smirked slightly. "If you did know where you are, we'd have to be looking for a new housekeeper. But..." His smirk lowered. "... I don't eat food so don't expect me to ask."

The young lady smiled with a nod. "I understand. That makes sense. Well, when you took me, I wasn't conscious enough to introduce myself. I am Yume. It's nice to meet you, Sasori."

He blinked a few times before nodding. "You are a very strange girl... you do realize that you're in the presence of a criminal? I don't have any qualms about killing you, you know."

She sighed, braiding her long wavy black hair. With a roll of her silver eyes, she replied, "Would you rather I start crying and begging for mercy? I would have thought that you'd get bored by THAT reaction. Besides, it's not like I'm a threat to you. You don't eat and I wouldn't dare to poison the food that I make."

The puppet-master nodded once more before leaving the room. Yume chuckled and went back to cleaning. That was the first real conversation she ever had with him and she really hoped that it wouldn't be the last.

Several months later, Yume was still "kidnapped" and being "forced" to cook and clean for the Akatsuki. They realized that they needed to be more polite. And Kisame was the last to actually learn that lesson- after two months of being served fish fries, baked salmon, and sushi. But he was still an ass so every once in a while, she had to stick in some fish-based meals to keep him in line.

She sighed just as someone entered her kitchen and she turned to see the redheaded Sasori holding onto a wounded limb. His eyes were just a bit narrow but besides that, he looked normal. She asked, "You hungry?"

He sat down with a sigh. "You ask me that every time I enter this room. What makes you think I'll change my answer?" He looked at his broken bracket and clicked his tongue. He usually worked on his puppets in his room but lately, he did some work in the kitchen.

"It doesn't hurt to ask- I was told there wasn't such a thing as a stupid question."

"... whoever told you that was wrong," he commented without looking at her.

Yume rolled her eyes before sitting next to him. "Says the puppet-master... let me see." She placed a soft hand on his arm, looking at it carefully.

"You know how to fix puppets?"

"Not really. But I'm pretty careful. And I'm sure it'd be easier for you if I just follow your instructions."

Sasori looked down at her with his brown eyes before nodding. "Alright..." He reached into his robe and pulled out a quick-fix tool kit. Handing it to her, he removed his robe with a bit of difficulty and leaving his upper body exposed with the robes pooling in his lap.

The black-haired housekeeper blushed deeply, trying to ignore the fit chest of wood. It was odd for her to be attracted to this horrible-looking science experiment. But he was one of the nicer Akatsuki members... and was very handsome. Without hesitation, she began to follow his instructions, unaware of those same brown eyes watching her work.

Sasori gazed at Yume's focused but flushed face as she worked carefully to fix his arm. He didn't quite understand this girl. She kept offering him food even though she knew he was a puppet and unable to eat. Then she touched him without a second thought and spoke with concern in her voice towards his person. So strange... she certainly was one-of-a-kind. He took this time studying her physical self as it wasn't as difficult as trying to understand her mind.

Her shiny black hair was long and smelled like cherry blossoms. It was kept down so her equally long bangs were in her face as she followed his words to a "T". It also happened to be hindering his view of her eyes. So using his uninjured arm, he tucked her hair behind her ears, alerting her and making her look up at him.

"I assumed it was difficult for you to work with your hair in your eyes..." he excused without missing a beat. At her nod, she went back to work thus allowing him to keep admiring her looks.

Those silver eyes reminded him of knives... particuarly the kitchen ones that she used for cooking and the occasional threat when not asked politely. But when she was happy and not making a point, they glittered like diamonds. It was probably a good thing she wasn't a ninja- her emotions were viewed clearly through her eyes. But they were beautiful. The type of beauty that he wanted to preserve in his own unique art.

"Tell me if it hurts, okay?"

Sasori blinked as he saw her looking at him with such a look of seriousness that he had a hard time not laughing. He was a puppet- nothing could hurt him or kill him. This little problem was just annoying.

Yume pouted as if she could sense his inner laughter. "I'm serious! I just remembered that I might end up pinching a nerve or something. Whenever my sister got hurt, she'd have me fix her up and sometimes I would make it hurt more. She'd start crying..."

"... what did you do to calm her down? You don't seem like the type to keep working on a screaming child," the redhead asked. He was that type if he was to ever help a hurt kid.

"Of course not. The screaming would just give me a headache. I kissed her on the forehead and calmly whispered that everything was going to be okay. Told her that the pain she was feeling was proof that she was alive and well. I did that a few times before I was finished and I gave her a hug before dismissing her."

Sasori could see the sadness suddenly flash in her eyes. The loneliness within turned her bright silver eyes dull and he found that he didn't much like that color. So he did what he thought he should. He made his arm twitch, causing her to look down at it in surprise. "Sorry... hit a nerve..." he lied skillfully.

Yume looked back up at him, eyes worried and remorseful. "I'm so sorry... does it still hurt?"

He shrugged, looking away as his arm twitched in "pain" again. He couldn't believe he did that... but... it wasn't like he could take it back, right?

His brown eyes widened as he saw her hands take hold of his head and pull him closer. Her lips gently pressed against his forehead and he found that he couldn't move away, didn't want to. He could feel her warmth, her chest against his wooden body. Before he could decide if he actually liked the closeness or not, she pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I'll try to be more careful..." she whispered softly, picking up one of the tools to keep working. But Sasori said something to stop her in her tracks.

"I want another one... you hurt me twice, after all..."

Her vibrant silver eyes looked up at him as she blushed harshly. He could see the wheels in her head turning as she thought about his words. "... wh-where...? I mean... I already kissed your forehead..." Now her words were meek and carefully spoken. He had to admit- all these months of having the girl take the rest of the Akatsuki by the balls, it was nice to know that she was still a female.

And even a puppet-sociopath was in need of some contact with the opposite sex. "... I have one place in mind..." His hands moved to her waist as he moved her closer, their lips almost touching. The look in her eyes was so innocent. He found himself, a horrible person who would be doomed to go to the deepest layer of Hell if he ever died, wanting that innocence. He wanted to take it and desecrate it, making her as impure as himself so he wouldn't have to face his eternal punishment alone. Of course, he wasn't planning on going anywhere any time soon so he might as well enjoy it, right?

By now, their lips were just barely touching... until Hidan's foul-mouth ruined the moment.

"Fuck! Go get a room that isn't so public, you horny cretins!"

Hidan watched in mild amusement and irritation as Sasori and Yume flashed apart. The girl was as red as the blood beneath her flesh. And Sasori... he looked almost mad. How interesting. Perhaps he could make a game out of this. "Yume, make me some food! I just got back from my mission and Kakuzu made us go on so many side missions... fuckin' miser! What the Hell does he need that much cash for! It's not like he goes to the strippers or pays some bitch for her time! He just goes on missions and stays holed up here until he hears of another bounty!"

The angry silverette watched as the black-haired female busied about making him food. Then he looked at the still ticked off Sasori. "... so, Sasori... have fun while I was gone?" he asked with an evil smirk.

The redhead looked at him blankly before picking up a tool and getting to work on his injured bracket. "I don't have any idea what you are talking about... have you been devouring pigs' blood again as you paid tribute to your god...?"

"I mean you and the housewife. She is a hot little thing, I'll give you that. So... when you gonna fuck her?"

Fire erupted on the stove and the tool missed it's mark, scratching deeply into the wooden limb. Sasori glared deeply at Hidan for a moment before grabbing his tool kit. "No. You should know by now that my body is no longer fit for such carnal activities." And he left the kitchen without a goodbye.

Hidan set his eyes on Yume who got the fire contained. He could see that her face was still vibrantly flushed. And he kept going. "Jeez, what's his problem? It's not like he's the only one who's lusting... after all, Yume, you've been eating on him for about 2 months now, right? I mean, hardcore, ready and willing, unholy bondage kind of fucking. Your mother would cry and your dad would probably come at Sasori with a katana to defend his daughter's impure body."

A plate of food was placed in front of him and the girl sat across from him as he took his first bite. And effectively bolted to the sink, dousing the rapid heat that threatened to burn through his esophogus. "AHHHHHHH!"

Yume giggled evily as she went to his side and whispered in his ear so he could hear her through the sounds of drowning the spiciness. "Now you listen here, Hidan... by now, you should have learned this lesson but I'll remind you of it verbally since it'll be very difficult for you to talk for the next couple of days. Don't FUCK with people who handle your food..." She smirked and left the kitchen, calling behind her, "And milk would work so much better at calming down those peppers..."

He charged to the fridge and eliminated the half-gallon of milk that they had in the kitchen. Once the flames within were calm, he huffed and winced. She wasn't kidding when she said he wouldn't be able to talk. So he set about devising a plan of revenge. Revenge on Yume would mean dragging Sasori into it... oh well! It wasn't like he cared for the bastard. And he was going to get the other members in on it too. What fun he would have embarrassing the little minx and messing with her mind using Sasori as the means.

((Tell me if I should keep this going. I just had an idea as I was reading up profiles on the Akatsuki. If I didn't get Hidan right, I'm sorry. I've never seen him in Shippuden and I know he's violent... but he also has a foul mouth. And that's what I wanted to utilize. Now REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!))