….Vanessa's relationship with Barry was amazing when it began, but there always comes a time when a woman looks for more. Though she left her human husband for a bee, there were certain needs Barry still could not satisfly. Many times they tried (God, did they try!) bringing intimacy into the relationship, but the constant risk of accidentally killing Barry in the throes of passion always held them back. But there was a new insect in the honeycomb, with a stinging personality as electric as his stamina. You see, unlike Barry, William the Wasp's stinger did not tire; word on the street was that he could last as long as there were bold black stripes on his bugscular body. The first time Vanessa laid eyes on William, Barry all but disappeared from her mind. He was the only one in the honeycomb, and maybe … just maybe … he could also be the only one in her honeywomb. Conflicted, she thought to herself, "Is this the bug I've been looking for? Clearly watashi wa hella thirsty desu. Have there been enough 'what the fuck's from the audience from Bee Movie?" Vanessa decided to wait, reasoning that if she left her husband for a bee, like, literally a bee, there was probably a good reason for it (Even though there probably wasn't. But don't we all lie to ourselves when we're hit with the stinger of love?). Unfortunately for Barry, a woman's time is her most precious asset, and the clock was ticking.
Barry could feel the frustration course through him, and it turned his impotence into a raging fire of passion. He tore off his black and yellow striped sweater, and looked straight in Vanessas eyes as he directed his throbbing, microscopic-hair-covered member inside of her. Vanessa's eyes watered. It stung so good.
She knew what he was risking. But she couldn't stop him, no, she could not let this boundary of love go untested. He backed in slowly, shuffling his microscopic, strangely humanoid feet across the carpet. He paused on the verge of entering: "Honey, I hope you're not allergic to bee stings." She quivered with anticipation, not able to let out a word.
Her pupils dilated, her forehead glistened with sweat. Her world was a kaleidoscope of ecstasy in two frenzied colors: Black and yellow black and yellow black and yellow….
"Barry pumped backwards, swaying his behind and flapping his wings. Her passion escaped in flustered moans. His in a low buzzing sound. The gyrating of hips, the desperate flapping of wings…He held a mirror in his right hand with which he could watch her tortured expression, overpowered by the sheer girth of his lethal extension. He could feel the venom building in his rounded lower thorax. "
He never blinked, demanding of Vanessa in the crucial moment. "Say I'm your King Bee. SAY IT"
But she could not manage words. The passion escalated. The buzzing grew louder until it was a guttural torrent of low frequency mating sounds. Vanessa hallucinated she was in the hive, the forbidden place she had always secretly longed for. Atop a throne of solidified honey she was no longer an outsider, but the center of her honeycombed home. Her worries melted away as she gave herself over to each anonymous male insect, but names did not matter. All that mattered was the throes of pleasure that radiated through her body. She felt Barry swell. Her eyes widened and she locked into his intent gaze. And then it happened. He erupted like a raging volcano of hot, cascading venom. Barry's buzzing had broken to a frequency so low Vanessa could no longer hear it. It was beautiful, frozen silence in which she felt his dripping stinger shrivel inside her body. They both knew the seriousness of what had transpired.
She was beaten, broken and violated. But somehow, she had never been more whole. She could barely speak as she watched the life drain out of Barry's glassy, open eyes.
Through shallow breaths, Vanessa stammered, "Barry-san … are you .. are you sure you want to do this?" "Vanessa daisuki," he replied, and the night that had come alive with the sounds of love was now quiet with the low buzzing hum of death.
There was time left for only one final affirmation: "You are my king, Barry."
And as his eyes fluttered and closed, the warm venom slowly cooled, and the hot flood of tears entered her face.
"And I am your queen…"
"And I am your queen…"
The cries of small children resonate through the theater amid yells of "I THOUGHT THIS WAS A KID'S MOVIE!" The isles emptied and kids swarmed the exit in sadness and confusion, parents following slowly behind, weeping at the loss of innocence and $9 that could have been spent on a fucking Starbucks.
But a mysterious figure blocked the path. A brilliant floodlight tore through the nervous darkness and illuminated the cackling, maniacal man. It was none other than Jerry Seinfeld.
"NOW THE WORLD KNOWS," he bellowed angrily, staring intently at the children. "YOU ALL WILL SEE THE TRUE ME! AND YOU WILL ACCEPT ME!"
He quickly reached up to his hairline and pulled at a loose end of his Jew-fro. Horrified children screamed as his skin came loose and fell to the floor, revealing a small, rather stupid looking bee with vaguely humanoid features.
"Daddy daddy where are you?!," Sally Seinfeld screamed, her pigtails flung around in agitation. Her arms wrapped around her tightly, she cowered in fear as the diminutive being that was once her father buzzed toward her.
He landed on her shoulder and let out another insidious cackle, then licked his lips and grabbed onto a freckle, not letting her turn away from his lustful gaze.
"Honey, I'm finally home. Let the cross-pollination begin!"