He closed the door quietly, openly staring at the girl in his bed. He felt his heart melt at the tear-streaked face barely visible through the tangled curtain of hair. He shut his eyes, trying to control the thoughts that tumbled into his mind, one after the other, like a circus train that just couldn't be stopped. Why was she here again? She had said good-bye when he made a snide comment about her current flavor of the month.
He thought he was her new toy. She was serious this time, however. That straw broke the camel's back. Gone, had been his childhood friend, and confidant. They had tons of bitter arguments leading up to the comment, but he pushed away as a tension from growing up, and the thought of leaving school, their home.
He leaned forward and softly brushed the blonde hair back from her face. She stirred a little, her face moving towards the hand that offered comfort. He sighed, brushing back his own hair. He didn't understand. They used to be so close, and he had fallen so hard for her. Then, she was gone. Now she was here, in his room. His mouth turned down at the corners, knowing why she was here.
The guy had broke her heart, and she was here for comfort. She had once compared him to a safety blanket. He rubbed his face, and now she needed him again. But for how long? Until she meets the next guy that feeds her pretty lies? He didn't know if he could do it all over. Not even for her.
Would she stay if he uttered the words that were always on the tip of his tongue? Would she run, away from her safety blanket, away from security, and comfort? Did he dare do that? Would it make him feel better, having the words off his chest, and her gone? Was it better for his sanity if he swallowed what he needed to say, and just be there for her?
Actions speak louder than words, was what he was always told. Not in her case, though, he argued. He tried in so many different ways to show her how he felt, and he just couldn't ever do it. She saw it as him being a friend, nothing more. She was reading his intentions wrong, and it left cuts all over his heart that healed slowly, forming numerous scars.
He glanced at his watch. It was three in the morning. He would think about it later, when he could see straight. He covered up the girl with the spare blanket he kept around, before heading to the living room. He lay down on the couch and stared at the ceiling, as one by one, he shut off the thoughts going through his mind. He'd think about it tomorrow, or he would go crazy.
The next thing he knew, light was streaming through the window, blinding him. He blearily rose from the awkward sleeping position he was in and went to check on the girl in his room. She was gone. He sighed, that was fast.
"I'm sorry," The tiny voice he would recognize from anywhere said behind him.
He turned slowly, disbelieving. She had stayed the whole night.
"For what?" He asked softly. He would never find it in his heart to berate her.
She shrugged, her blue eyes pained," For staying here, for making you sleep on the couch, for being mad at you for something so stupid for so long, when you would have forgiven me in a heartbeat."
It was true. She was always the one with the temper. That, and the fact I love her, he thought.
"Don't be silly. You're always welcome here, you didn't make me sleep on the couch, and I shouldn't have said anything about your boyfriend."
He was hoping for a contradiction about him being her boyfriend, but it never came. Instead, she smiled.
"Thanks."
"What made you so upset that you came here last night?"
She blinked, a confused look flitting across her face," I came because I needed to apologize. I was upset, because he proposed, and I realized I didn't have my man of honor, because I pushed him away."
A huge cut worked its way across his heart. He made the right choice, then, in never telling her.
He couldn't ruin the façade now," Was that a request?"
Her face brightened, and she threw her arms around him," Thank you, Louis."
"No problem, Alice." Just a broken heart.
Once she had left, he closed the door, and fell onto his bed, closing his heavy eyes, trying to nurse his aching heart with sleep.
A month passed, and he stood beside Al Potter. He was watching his best friend marry his cousin while standing beside his brother. This was insane. Too bad, he was never close with James. Then maybe he would understand the pain he was inflicting upon him.
"Are there any reasons why this couple should not be together? Speak now or forever hold your peace."
Yes, Louis thought, because I love her. But he couldn't do that. He had missed his chance. Besides, no matter his pain, she was happy. That was what mattered. She was glowing today as she said 'I do'.
James was equally happy. He was a good man for her, he realized. He wasn't scared to speak his mind. Louis was, and that was why he didn't have her. Fear was paralyzing, crippling. He was always scared of what Alice could do to his heart. Now he was paying the price as he watched them kiss. His heart finally shattered.
James and Alice had each other, and all he had were those moments he should have said 'I love you' and didn't.