It was foolish. Frodlin knew that.
Here we were, him weighing his options and me, indifferent. I knew I won. He would make this as painless for himself as possible, but no matter the outcome, I won.
((I will kill you, human,)) he spat.
Will.
((Now now, Frodlin, don't be hasty,)) I cooed inside of my own mind. He could read my thoughts, yes, but I could also sense his. I was not in control. I could not page through his memories like a collection of Edgar Allen Poe's most twisted works. But we did share a brain, and a lot of his emotions he didn't bother trying to hide from me. Besides, it was of little use. I knew he was dying, so I knew he was anxious. ((Your anger comes from the fact that deep down, you now know the truth.))
((And what is that truth, human?)) he retorted.
((That I am not the real prisoner here. You are.)) I paused and let him mull that one over in his slimy, slug brain for a moment before continuing. ((You, a slave of Visser One all these years. You have been bred to be part of Visser One's goals. A servant and now, a martyr.))
Frodlin didn't speak. He had never thought of it that way before. It was probably not true. It didn't have to be. I just had to make him believe that it mattered, make him angry at his own people. I just had to keep him from pulling the trigger in his - my - right hand.
((How does it feel, Yeerk? How does it feel to be the bitch of Visser One? Are you proud of yourself, listening to her every beck-and-call like some common whore? What did you ever do for yourself? And what do you have to show for it?)) Nothing. ((And now you want to kill me. Why? Is it for you, or is it that last single act you have to show your owner how easy it was to manipulate you?))
((Stop playing mind games, human. I could kill you.))
Could.
He let my eyes rest on the gun. He was contemplating it, too, but he was weak, and he wasn't bothering to read my thoughts anymore. He couldn't. I would fight him long and hard until he used his last ounce of strength. No, he just had a decision to make.
I was not afraid of that gun. I knew that he could blow both of us away right now. Why not? After all, he was going to die anyways. If he blew my head off, it would be suicide. And that way I wouldn't survive to tell the world about the Yeerk invasion. It's what a loyal Yeerk would do if they were starving to death. Save the rest of the Yeerks from being found out. But none of them had infested me before. I was a weapon they could not harness for their own use. I was not a bitch like Frodlin.
((You think I don't know exactly what you are?)) I demanded.
((What am I?))
((You are a coward. You have no pride, no dignity. You have no actions that you make yourself. At least I still have my own thoughts and sympathies. You've sold all yours out and adopted those of Visser One. Who's being controlled here, Yeerk?))
He was, but not by Visser One. Me, manipulating his thoughts. Leading him down a road he'd never been, never wanted to go down, had no reason to. It probably wasn't even true.
((You have no idea what I've been through,)) he told me.
((I do. You know, Yeerk, that I have also had my world stripped away from me. But I kept my pride.))
He paused. ((Human,)) he ventured. ((I would kill you.))
Would.
((Except...)) I prompted.
((Except you have the same spirit, the same power that I've strived for. That is a coveted thing. That, I will not kill.))
((If you leave now, I will give you a quick and painless death.))
It was brilliant. The Yeerk had every power over me imaginable, and I had convinced him to let me kill him. Worse, I'd convinced him to put himself at my mercy. And I would surely not kill him. I would do worse.
And all the time, he could have tried to read my thoughts. Even if he didn't succeed, he would probably have sensed that I had a plan. But he didn't even try, feeling frail and worthless. That, too, was my doing.
As he exited my ear, I curled my fingers for the first time in three days. The last time he'd left to feed, and then only for minutes – up to an hour, perhaps – at a time. Now I was free forever.
He fell to the floor and stood there, motionless. He was waiting for me to kill him. Yeerks are sightless, hearingless, all-around senseless abominations, and I was sure he didn't hear me set the gun down on the desk and look for a container. I couldn't find anything with a lid, so I emptied the cup on my desk that held a bunch of pens and pencils. They rolled around, free on my desk as I bent down and trapped that pathetic mess of goo beneath it.
((Human,)) he said, surprised, alarmed. Frightened. He did not go on; there was no need to. We both knew what I was doing.
"You should have learned by now never to trust your enemies. Now you've proven just how much of a fool you are."
((Who's the coward?)) he demanded of me. ((You are the lying rat who-))
"Save it, Yeerk. Maybe what I said was all a lie, maybe it was true. But the only thing that really matters in life is who has the upper hand. And you just lost it."