Author's Notes: I'm back. Kind of. This is me trying to get a feel for Neville, as I've been assigned to write a Neville/Pansy story and I...and woefully unfamiliar with who they are.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Things have changed.
Harry is gone. To where, no one knows and those who do know don't tell of course--it's better that things like that go unsaid.
Neville is… is different, is no longer quiet, shy, awkward, clumsy, embarrassed Nevile, he is Neville Longbottom, leader and Frank's son through and through.
In some ways it's better--so, so, so much better--because Neville is a leader, he is someone they look up to, someone to rally around. They pity him no longer (or, at least, they don't pity him for his clumsy awkwardness anymore--now the pity is hero's pity) and Neville has never felt this alive. He is his father's son, really, truly his father's son, now, his Gran says. His father stood up where no one else would--took the place of James Potter and Sirius Black when they were off saving the world--Frank Longbottom stood tall and strong and proud and led the left behind when James and Sirius went down as heroes (well, not Sirius, not at first).
Neville stands in for Harry and leads the left-behind while Harry and Ron and Hermione masquerade as heroes. Only it's not much of a masquerade anymore--Neville supposes the dangerous and deadly dance and play has somewhere turned into the real thing--somewhere along this rocky road, pretending has slipped into reality and they are their parents, now, young and reckless and making it up as they go.
Neville can only hope it turns out better this time--can only hope he doesn't join the ranks of the names who died before the world knew their faces.
In some ways, it's worse.
He is Neville Longbottom, leader and Gryffindor and everyone expects so, so much out of him--it's just, it can be a bit much at times, when he's staring at a sea of faces and they all expect him to make a decision, bjut he's just Neville Longbottom and he can't make a decision that will change people's lives. He is expected to do so much--so much he isn't ready for, can't do, and doesn't really want, not if he's honest.
Not that he regrets making the decision to step up and take control or regrets any of this--just regrets the fact that he's…not ready, not ready for taking control or making life-changing decisions. He's not ready and this has been thrust upon him and it's do or die and it is not in Neville Longbottom to go dwon without a fight.
But there are two sides to every sickle and Neville knows this. That's why it doesn't hurt so bad when Hannah smiles shyly at him or Seamus mock-salutes him with a smile that's more grimace or when Susan trusts him with everything she has or Michael sees that his 'orders' are followed out. It doesn't hurt so bad to see people trust him, because Neville knows that there is always good and bad and as long as he does his best, things will be okay.
Or, at least, that's what he chooses to believe--it's a straw to grasp at and Neville has never been one to discourage hope. So Neville does his best, takes the good with the bad, and hopes like hell that everything will be okay.
Things have changed, but that doesn't mean they've gone sour or that they're doomed or that they may as well just quit now because they're not going to survive this in one piece and what's a life without all the pieces?
Neville fights with all he has. If they go down, Neville is taking as many of them as he can with him. Things have changed and, though no one is quite sure whether it's for better or worse, Neville trusts that everything will be okay.
I need to know if I'm on the right track--review and let me know!