Disclaimer: No matter how many times I reread Beastly, it will not turn me into Alex Flinn. Hence, I own no rights to Beastly and am earning no money for this publication. The only thing I earn is your reviews. *wink wink nudge nudge*
We'll be on in three...
Rob Kingsley was recieving some finishing touches on his foundation when he heard his phone ringing.
He sighed heavily, wondering what it might be now, and who would dare to disrupt him in his dear sanctuary of work.
"Damn phone..." He muttered causing the makeup artist to flinch. "Would someone get that?"
A ponytailed woman Rob had seen a few times but never acknowledged grabbed his phone off from a nearby table. She held it awkwardly.
Rob glared. "Well, answer!"
The woman's eyes went large and she quickly answered the phone.
"Rob Kingsbury's phone, Mary speaking, how may I help you?" Rob heard her answer as she disappeared into another room to take the call.
"Good God," the vain newscaster remarked, "People just never stop calling, do they?"
Moments later, Mary burst back into the room. "Mr. Kingsbury, that was your son, and..."
Rob shot her a look that said, Say it quick or be fired, I don't have time for this. "And?"
A grin spread across Mary's face. "He wanted to call and tell you that you're a grandfather!"
Though the whole newsroom seemed to be filled with delighted people patting him on the back and smiling, if it weren't for all of the makeup, Rob would've been white as a sheet. Very vaguely, Rob remembered Kyle saying something a few months ago about his wife, Mindy, or something like that, being pregnant, but he seemed to have forgotten.
He was only 44. And he only looked about 38. People would think that the only way a man like him could be a grandfather was either due to multiple botox injections or what the high society of New York would consider bad parenting. It wasn't a scandal. He'd used botox, admittedly, but no more than anyone else in the business. And Kyle'd been married to that Lindy girl - or was it Lindsey? Lucy? - for about two years or so. He was 20, an adult. It wasn't like the camera crew for Teen Dad was going to be showing up at his doorstep or anything.
By the time the cameras were rolling, the excitement had almost entirely died down. He was able to read his cover story on a local sub shop theif without flinching or freezing up.
However, when both him and his coanchor, Laura Banner, finished their stories early, they had to make some witty banter so as to stay on their time schedule.
"Well, how about that story, Grandpa?" The glossy blonde woman asked with a large smile and a nudge. Rob knew it was intended to be friendly, but he took it to be another example of the world obliviously attacking his climbing age.
But, he smiled the award-winning smile only Rob Kingsley was capable of and said, "Oh, Laura, you kidder!"
She volleyed the over-chipper grin right back to him. "Well, Rob, as newscasters, shouldn't we deliver our viewers the good news?"
"I well, ummm..." Rob stuttered.
Without waiting for an adequate response from her coanchor, Laura shot back in, "Just before we went on the air, Mr. Kingsbury recieved a call from his son, Kyle, who called to say that he had just had his own child!" She giggled. "Looks like we've got an old fart on the station!"
"Well, Laura, I'm barely older than you." His Rob-Kingsbury-Copyrighted-Unphased face had long since faded.
Laura laughed a tinkly laugh and exclaimed, "Shhh! Don't alert the media!"
"Oh," he began, anger from within truly now seeping quickly into his voice, "You mean kind of like how you just did? Do you know what you just said will do? People will think that the only way a guy that looks like me could be old enough to be a grandfather would be by use of excessive botox and face lifts, and do you know what the opinion of that is in this industry? It isn't a good one! It's unacceptable! Either that, or people are going to think that the only way I'd be old enough to have a grandchild would be if I had a teen son I let run around the city and knock up random girls! It's unacceptable! And it certainly isn't what really happened! There isn't exactly a fair opinion of that in the New York high society, either, Laura. What you've done is unacceptable! Unacceptable!"
Clearly uncomfortable, Laura stammered, "I'm... I'm sorry, then... Rob."
"Sorry? Just 'sorry'? I'm afraid that's unacceptable!"
In that moment, Rob's vanity overtook his common sense, and he lunged towards Laura.
He presumed that the cameras had stopped rolling. They hadn't.
Viewers were tuning in from all over the country, laughing at the crazed Rob Kingsbury.
He was Rob Kingsbury: Terrified Git.