Disclaimer: None of the shows or characters named or implied are the creation of me. The universe is my sandbox let me play.
A/N: This was inspired by a favorite episode of another Sci-fi show, if you know the show you know what I mean.
Confidence and Paranoia
Daniel Jackson stepped through the Stargate and sneezed. His teammates followed him down the ramp decidedly glad to be home.
"Gesundheit!" said Jack O'Neill as Jackson sneezed once more. "Sounds like you've caught a cold there Danny," O'Neill sounded only slightly smug to the ears of his 2IC Major Samantha Carter as she handed the archeologist another tissue.
"I wonder why?" Was Jackson's sniffled retort; O'Neill had the grace to look shame faced. "Could it be a certain Colonel who shall remain nameless buried my artifact cases in the snow so that I had to spend half the morning digging them up?"
"I told you;" said the nameless Colonel as they continued toward the infirmary, "it was a freak snow drift."
"That only took out my cases?" sniffed Daniel as they arrived at the entrance to the infirmary and met Dr Janet Frasier.
"How was your mission, guys?" she asked already mentally undressing them and searching for huge sucking wounds.
"Great!" said Jack, as Daniel promptly sneezed again.
"Id's dust a cold." said Jackson indignantly, blowing hard into a Kleenex and depositing it into the paper basket already over flowing. "I cad work wid a cold."
"I don't care Daniel, Fraiser ordered you home and I'm going to make sure you get there!" Jack glared at the archeologist; he'd just caught him dozing over a large stack of translations and an almost empty box of Kleenex. Daniel glared back.
"Id's dur fault I'm stick." He muttered collecting up a few files and depositing them into his briefcase.
"Freak snow drift." called Jack as he followed his friend out of the room.
"I'm dure." was the reply followed by a harsh sounding coughing fit.
"I'll drive shall?" said Jack walking ahead of his friend to avoid the evil glare he was getting.
The two drove in silence in Jack's truck, the sound of the engine and wind whipping by only occasionally drowned out by the sniffing or coughing of Daniel dozing in the passenger seat. Jack sighed he did feel a little guilt about his companion's condition, so instead of dropping him off at his apartment Jack found himself parking at his own house preparing for a houseguest over the weekend.
"Daniel?" he put his hand on the younger man's forehead. "Gees, Daniel you're burning up, and it has nothing to do with this heat wave." Daniel roused slightly, but was barely awake when under heavy assistance from Jack he navigated the walkway and the stairs to be deposited on the guest room bed. "Work with me here Daniel didn't anyone ever tell you the story of the dog and the dancing monkeys?" Jack maneuvered him sans shoes under the covers and pulled a thermometer out of the bathroom cupboard. "101, Daniel, that's not good." He said shaking out the instrument. "If you hit 102 I'm calling Frasier." Jack went to leave intending to make some coffee and bring his friend some juice but a plaintiff moan came from the mound of covers stopped his progress. "Daniel?"
"Where am I?" He coughed.
"You're at my house,"
"Why?"
"Because you were half dead and I couldn't face dragging your ass up all those stairs to your place." Daniel yawned.
"Oh okay." He seemed to doze for a moment and then his eyes flicked open. "You ever feel like you're two people Jack?"
"What like the secrecy thing?"
"No, no like there are two people inside you, talking to you?"
"You hear people talking to you in your head Daniel?" Jack reached for the phone thoroughly hoping his friend was delusional because of the fever.
"No, not actual voices Jack. Like parts of you or me thoughts and stuff." He frowned fighting through the fog of his illness. "This roommate I had in college she was a psychology minor. She said everyone had two people inside of them. Your confidence and your paranoia telling you stuff all the time."
"Okay," said Jack unsure where this was going.
"Yeah, yeah, like you decide you want to ask this girl out and your confidence in going you're great you're gorgeous, you're dead sexy, then when you get up there Confidence has gone on a vacation and all that you're left with is your Paranoia going you must be joking you're stupid and ugly and she'll laugh in our face." Jack stood with the phone in his hand fascinated by this glimpse into his friend's usually closely guarded psyche and more than a little worried his fever had gotten higher. He stood a moment longer until he realized that Daniel had fallen asleep, leaving the door ajar Jack took the cordless phone out into the hall.
"Just in case." He told his sleeping friend and dialed Janet's direct line in the infirmary, she answered with a perfunctory greeting. "Janet, it's Jack."
"What can I do for you Colonel?"
"It's Daniel; I brought him home with me 'coz I found him in his office working."
"Is he okay?"
"He's acting a bit loopy, his fever's up to 101 and he's babbling about people in his head."
"What he doing now?"
"Nothing, he dropped off to sleep, am going to have to bring him back in or can I leave him here?"
"The fever's a bit high, but I see no reason to wake him especially if he's finally gone to sleep. Just keep an eye on him, when he wakes up give him some Tylenol to take his fever down. If it gets any higher call Dr Warner he's on duty tonight."
"Thanks Janet I appreciate this, you know how I am when Daniel's laid up."
"I know, call me at home if you have to bring him back in, otherwise I'll come by in the morning and check on him."
"That'd be great thanks Janet."
"Well, you know how I am when Daniel's laid up." Jack laughed.
"Aren't we all?"
"I'll see you in the morning Colonel."
"Okay thanks again, bye."
"Goodnight."
The night passed without event, and Janet arrived the following morning bearing coffee and Doughnuts.
"I'm fine Janet." Daniel sniffed as he picked the glaze off one of the pastries.
"I'll be the judge of that shall?" she smiled plucked the doughnut from him and opened her bag. Twenty minutes later, her mouth formed in a thin line. "It's pneumonia." Daniel lay back on the bed exhausted by the exertion. "There's fluid in your lungs Daniel," she said to him stroking his sweat soaked brow. Then she looked up at the worried face of the Colonel. "I'd like to take him to the mountain, get some chest films and blood tests just to be sure." The patient moaned and rolled over.
"Daniel?" Jack cast a startled glance at the doctor.
"Jack, I'm sorry I feel awful can I crash here for a bit?"
"You have to go to the infirmary, Daniel." said Janet gently.
"Janet it's just a cold, I just need to sleep for a bit." His voice faded out as his eyes closed.
"Daniel!" Jack's loud report didn't even touch the man, Janet hastily checked his vitals.
"He's unconscious; do you think you can help me get him to the car?"
Two hours later Jack took his seat beside his friend, Daniel was tucked in bed up to his chin an IV line snaked beneath the covers. Sam came through the curtains to stand beside her CO.
"How is he?"
"His fever's spiking, the drugs are getting it under control, but he's pretty out of it; keeps talking in his sleep."
"What's he saying?"
"Weird stuff, like dogs and dancing monkeys, and people in his head."
Jack dozed by Daniel's bed he sat up at the sound of feet pattering down the hall at first he thought it was the nurse but realized suddenly that there were too many feet, and too much pattering to be a person. Then the curtain twitched and Jack could have sworn he saw a furry hand poke out and disappear.
"What the hell?" He stood up, walked over to the curtain and pulled it open. The ward was empty, so he just pulled the curtain back, but almost as soon as he'd sat down again, there was a scream from the other end of the infirmary.
"What? What is it?" cried Jack running up to a very pale nurse.
"A rat!" she screeched pointing emphatically, "A big rat!" her eyes widened in horror. Just then a small dog bounded up and began barking at Jack. He knelt down to pet the animal rolling his eyes.
"That's not a rat," he said. "Though I can't imagine how a dog got in here." He muttered more to himself.
"No," said the Nurse still pointing off in the corner. Obscured by shadow, Jack saw only a furry back and a long tail.
"Jesus!" he said stepping back. "That thing is huge!" Just then as if things weren't weird enough the dog, cleared his throat and began singing a beautiful aria. The tail in the corner began to sway in time with the melody and Jack was feeling his forehead to make sure he didn't have a fever. There were two tails now swaying in unison and Jack was mesmerized a furry paw stepped out of the shadow and then another and two more, and O'Neill saw that this was no rat, it was a small monkey. In fact it was two small monkeys dressed in little pink tutus. They were dancing gracefully to the music tunefully supplied by the dog, which had turned the nurse's desk lamp on to them in an impromptu spotlight effect. When the song was finished both onlookers couldn't help but applaud, they were really quite good.
Daniel awoke with the feeling of cotton in his mouth, but on the whole a lot better than he'd felt the night before. Vivid dreams, had played out to him through his fever, and he smiled.
"My favourite was Apophis." he said to himself.
"What about Apophis?" Jack asked slipping into the curtain area rather quickly.
"Oh, it was just something a dreamed last night." said Daniel dismissively.
"Dreamed? More like hallucinated!" Jack gave him a look, "you've got a really weird imagination you know that?" Daniel just shrugged and rubbed his eyes. "Err, what did you dream about Apophis?"
"Oh, it was stupid really; I think my subconscious was channeling him into a magician I used to watch as a kid, he was always making himself explode."
"So, you dreamed that Apophis spontaneously combusted?"
"Yeah, pretty much. Why?" Jack stepped up to the curtain and gestured someone waiting nearby in, it was Janet.
"How are you feeling Dr. Jackson?"
"Much better actually; what's going on?"
"Well, I diagnosed you with pneumonia do you remember me coming over to the Colonel's house to get you?"
"Yeah, but I don't remember getting here, I was pretty out of it." Jack snorted.
"Daniel, you had a high fever and began to hallucinate."
"Oh god, I didn't hurt anyone did I?"
"Oh, no, no, everyone's fine it's just…" she looked down adjusting the IV line.
"Just what?" he asked eyeing them both with deep suspicion.
"We did some scans and discovered that a part of your brain had become super-stimulated by whatever chemical this illness is releasing there." Daniel looked a little panicked.
"But you just said it was pneumonia."
"Yes, it is; it's just not normal pneumonia."
"Because of this chemical?"
"Yes,"
"Janet?" Daniel was a little frustrated that his wasn't getting any real answers.
"Your hallucinations are real Daniel." said Jack a little impatient himself.
"What?"
"They're solid we saw what you saw." He dragged back the curtain and there was a scorch mark on the infirmary floor. "That's where Apophis bought it. We had a dog in here singing opera accompanied by a couple of ballet dancing monkeys." Jack turned to his astonished friend, "They were quite good too."
"I remember dreaming something about dogs and dancing monkeys, yeah they were real solid?"
"Yup, the dog licked my hand before his started his solo."
"But how is this possible?"
"We can only assume that this strain of pneumonia was picked up off world, it somehow mutated when it got exposed to something on that planet."
"Can I be cured?"
"We've tried a standard course of antibiotics and you came out of your fever quite nicely I'd like to keep you a bit longer to make sure, there's also the matter of your other hallucinations."
"What other hallucinations?"
"You hallucinated two people in the control room," said Jack, "One is your Confidence and the other is your Paranoia."
"Oh," said Daniel unsure of how to react to that.
A few minutes later, much to Janet's chagrin Daniel was dressed and making his way to the control room, eager and a little nervous to meet the men he had conjured from his own mind.
"Whoa," someone cried as he came in. "There he is omigod! It's the man himself Dr, Dr, Daniel Jackson the master." A teenage boy bounded across the room towards Daniel who went beet red as everyone turned to look at him. "Hey, you're my hero you know that? You know like everything in the whole world, and everyone loves you cos you're so smart and nice and funny, and you help people all the time. That's so cool!"
"You're my Confidence then?" he asked stupefied.
"What gave it away?" Muttered Jack, but Daniel ignore him instead he surveyed the teen before him, he was tall and skinny, with shaggy light hair, he wore a loud neo orange T-shirt, with 'archeologist's rule' on the front. On his feet he wore sandals and Daniel couldn't help but notice his pants were covered in dirt.
"He looks like me when I started college." said Daniel in disbelief.
"Aren't you going to introduce us Daniel?" asked Jack a little taken back himself. Daniel caught himself.
"Oh, err okay. Colonel O'Neill, meet my Confidence, Confidence this is Colonel O'Neill."
"Colonel huh?" said Confidence suspiciously.
"Yeah, err, Air Force actually." Confidence shrugged and offered his hand to Jack only to pull it back when he tried to take it.
"Oops," he said "too slow." He winked at Daniel and pulled his hand through his hair.
"Well, don't say hello then." An affronted voice came from the back of the room. Daniel looked over for another civilian, but was surprised to find an army private scowling at him. His uniform was pristine; his hair was shaven to within an inch of its life, and his face was set in a stone sneer of contempt. "God, you look awful," he said satisfied to have Daniel's attention, "all pale and gaunt, probably all this time spent locked up inside a mountain it can't be healthy and yet pale as you are look at that gut you much have gained weight it's all that coffee and cookies I bet you have huge tumor growing in your brain, that's why the others sent you back you were no good. Damaged goods, isn't that how they packaged you for the foster parents? Damaged goods not fit to keep; a loner, HA! A hider more like pathetic it is, the way you hide from what you should have been doing all this time real work, but even you out did yourself only you could be pathetic enough to not only not have sex on your wedding night, but to not even know it was your wedding night! I ask you. Have you met anyone denser? More flaky? More Pathetic?" He barked this last questions to the room in general that had fell silent the moment the rant had begun.
"Pathetic?" cried Confidence. "How can you say that about the Dr-Dr-The Master here? Just walking the hall has people calling for a Doctor, because all the ladies swoon in his presence. Who opened the Stargate in two weeks when no one else could? Who figured out how to make it go to other places? Who has saved the world from destruction more times than anyone else on the planet?" He paused for effect, "Danny boy himself the master of masters, you look great have you been working out?" he put his hand on Daniel arm, "Jeesus, you have some guns! Let's go get something to eat!" At which Confidence slung his arm around an extremely stunned and embarrassed looking Jackson and walked him out of the control room.
"Well, that was different." said O'Neill hesitating a moment before following them, joined shortly by Paranoia and Dr Frasier.
"Daniel don't go far you're still sick remember?" called Janet, the two ahead paused.
"Sick? Sick? This guy isn't sick! He's healthy as a horse." Confidence slapped Daniel on the back.
"He's right Janet I feel fine and I am hungry."
"Hungry? I'll bet! All that caffeine and chocolate probably got a hole in your stomach the size of a golf ball; probably got a tape worm just look at that gut it's huge! How can you be a savior of the planet? You're the worst specimen of the species I've ever seen. You know," he addressed Jack at this point, "he used to suck his thumb? Eww it was disgusting fingers always covered in spit, his foster mother used to smack his chin whenever he'd start with it, soon broke that habit didn't it?" he smiled slyly.
"Yeah, I broke a tooth and dislocated my thumb." Paranoia's smile widened.
"That's right and then you had to go back to the group home, you were always doing things that got you sent back, constantly touching things, going off on your own. That one family thought you were retarded, do you remember? I always thought that they weren't far off."
"Hey, now!" that was Jack, "I've heard just about enough out of you!" his voice tensed with anger.
"I agree, he's such a-"
"And you!" Jack pointed at Confidence and noticed Daniel had begun to sag under his grip and his face had paled considerably. "Daniel?" O'Neill's voice soften as he came up on his friend, "Let's get you back to bed huh?" he said relieving the figment of Daniel's weight. Janet motioned to two SF's in the corridor.
"Bring them too," she said motioning the two hallucinations.
Jack settled Daniel back in bed and Janet sent his fractured psyche to an isolation ward.
"Better?" Jackson nodded, closing his eyes for a moment.
"That was disconcerting."
"It was damned freaky, if you ask me; the nerve of that kid, putting his arm around you!" Daniel smiled slightly.
"I guess it just a gesture I associate with confidence."
"Yeah, but who would really do that?"
"You." Jack frowned,
"I never!"
"You used to all the time."
"I did not."
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Did too, you even did it in front of the whole SGC." This gave Jack pause.
"Apophis' ship."
"Yep."
"That doesn't count, I thought you were dead."
"You can't shrug it off with your male bravado Jack."
"Yes, I can how do you think I became a Colonel?"
"Actually, I have wondered."
"Smart ass." Daniel smiled. "And what's with the military guy?"
"What about him?"
"He's an asshole."
"He's my Paranoia he's supposed to be an asshole."
"Yeah, but what about the military thing?"
"You know my opinion of the military Jack."
"Yeah, but considering my sparkling example…" Daniel threw him a look, "Okay, considering Carter's sparkling example of a good military officer, I thought you might have softened your opinion of us a little."
"It's not an attack Jack, I do have more respect for the military than I did, but I guess my subconscious still associates that uniform with some less than pleasant happenings in my life." Jack waited but his friend didn't elaborate.
"How are you feeling Dr. Jackson?" Janet pulled his chart off the end of the bed and noted something there.
"Better, I think I just over did it on the err stimulation."
"Yes, well I think you're due some rest that got quite a bit livelier than I anticipated."
"What did you do with my hallucinations?"
"I've had to sedate them."
"What?"
"They started a fight when they realized I was separating them from you. I've got them restrained in one of the iso-rooms."
"What's going to happen to them?"
"Nothing, for now, all your other guests vanished when they appeared and they might just go the same way. We have no way of knowing this is a new experience even for us. It's just lucky that this doesn't seem to be contagious; it's bacterial which means you probably inhaled the spores off world and because of your cold provided a hot enough environment for it to take hold. I'm going to try some strong antibiotics, see if we can't knock this thing out."
"I am a little tired, Janet but I feel fine all my other symptoms are gone, maybe I sweated it out already."
"I'm talking about the two symptoms that are sedated in the iso-lab."
"Oh, them."
"Yes them, they may look like and walk and talk like real people, but they are symptoms of your disease and you will not be better until they are gone."
"That dirt-bag!" Jack cried scrapping his fingers through his hair, "I can't believe this who told him about this anyway?"
"News travels fast, and that scene in the control room wasn't exactly discreet. Frankly I'm surprised it took this long for Dr Mackenzie to find out and want access."
"Janet, is there anyway you can stop this from happening?" asked Sam, "I mean it's an invasion of Daniel's privacy."
"Damn right don't you have some Dr-Patient thing you can cook up?" Janet sighed.
"I'm afraid not, though these people for lack of a better term are symptoms of a physical disease the fact that they're a manifestation Daniel's psyche falls into Dr Mackenzie's field of study and his supervision as the base's head psychiatrist."
"Why can't one of the other shrinks do it? Daniel's been seeing Dr Clemens for his psych exams for the past year, why can't she interview them?"
"It's not my call, it's Mackenzie's it's his department."
"But you're the CMO!"
"I have to defer to him in matters of mental health."
"Oh, yeah and that's worked out so well in the past."
"Wait a minute, Daniel's a civilian."
"We know as he's so fond of telling us."
"But that means he has the right to refuse medical treatment."
"You know it doesn't work like that Carter."
"No, absolutely not!" Daniel folded his arms across his chest as he sat rigidly up in bed, scowling at the resident psychiatrist.
"Dr Jackson,"
"Dr Mackenzie."
"I wish you would reconsider," Daniel muttered something in Abydonian, in a very vicious sounding tone. "What did you say?"
"You heard!"
"No, I didn't you weren't speaking English."
"Yeah, well that's not my problem is it?"
"Daniel, please I think it would be best if we keep this civil, I know we have history," Daniel snorted. "But I had hoped that was behind us now."
"Oh, no," said Daniel with false cheer, "I can hold a grudge for a very long time, over the slightest of things, just ask Jack; I still bring up all those annoying nicknames he called me four years ago."
"Right."
"Yeah, right but I think a snap diagnosis of schizophrenia and a week in a padded room, complete with abusive guards, might just out weigh Plant-boy on my grudge list and by some margin I might add the whole experience might rank in my top five events I'll never forget and will probably never completely forgive those involved."
"That's interesting."
"Now, that I've given you something to think about and given you my answer to your request to interview my hallucinations, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just leave now."
Jack stepped into the observation area of the iso-room, determined not to let Mackenzie anywhere near the 'fascinating study subjects' pacing the room below.
"How's it going Doc?" Janet turned from the window to face the colonel.
"Curiouser, and curiouser." she said with a tight smile. "Did you notice the rank of Daniel's paranoia?"
"Yeah," said Jack stepping closer, "He's a private, so?"
"So, that makes him Private Paranoia." Jack just shook his head, "So not only is he Daniel's paranoia, his obvious feelings about the things that have happened and are happening, he's also a manifestation of all the guilt, grief, anger, fear and any other negative emotion you can name, that Daniel feels, but represses and doesn't give outlet to. Just look at him colonel the man is the picture of up tight from his hair to his uniform, and the way he paces up and down like a caged animal, look he even crosses his arms like Daniel does in an effort to keep everything inside and push everyone away."
"Yeah," said Jack, "The other one's more like Daniel mid-lecture all open gestures, with the pointing and the loud exclamations." Janet shook her head.
"Only when he knows people are watching. Step back from the window and watch the video feed." Jack did as she said and waited a few seconds after they'd disappeared from the window. Paranoia glanced at the window and then started a tirade at Confidence, who just sat on a cot and took it.
"That's weird."
"Not when you consider what Daniel is like he's open and confident in public, but as soon as he doesn't have an audience he breaks down. Confidence is just a façade, a defense mechanism cultivated over time, as a reaction to all that's happened in his life. It's not uncommon, we all wear masks that hide our true selves from prying eyes, but what Daniel has done is in the extreme." She paused as Paranoia continued to rail about anything and everything that was wrong with Daniel. "What you're watching is Daniel berating himself."
Dr Mackenzie sat in his office finishing some paperwork, after a moment he checked the clock, he shook his head, signed the paper in front of him and stood up. Mackenzie made his way through the base and to the isolation room; he nodded to the guards outside and entered.
"Good afternoon," he said to the figments, "I am Dr Mackenzie; I'd like to ask you a few questions…"
"Are you sure about this Daniel? I mean if it were me this is the last place I'd want to be." Jack faced his friend outside the isolation room.
"Jack it's been a week, and they're still there, the others disappeared within hours. I have to confront them and see if that will make them go away." A small smile played across his lips, "Tell again what happened to Mackenzie?" Jack smiled too at the thought, he'd been angry as hell to have missed stopping Mackenzie entering the room, but he was delighted to watch the show from the observation room above.
"Confidence, got all icy cold with him, slighting him about his profession, and all this, but after a few minutes of Mac trying to placate him, Paranoia just hauled off and smacked him!" Jack's grin was huge.
"Guess he's a little more than my insecurities." Daniel smiled slightly.
"I'll say never thought you had so much pent up aggression."
"Well," said Daniel evasively smiling, "Shall we go?"
"You want me to go in with you?"
"I'd appreciate it." Jack and Daniel went into the room, together but separated on entering. Jack sat off to one side.
"Hey!" cried Confidence, "It's the Dr, Dr, Master! How's it going Danny boy?" he gathered Daniel up in to huge body hug.
"Fine." Daniel said extracting himself.
"Oh, look who's decided to grace us with his presence. You look awful, are you ill? You must be dying to think we'd speak to Mackenzie. I bet it was his idea." He pointed at Jack. "He's the one that let him take us the last time."
"Hey now!" cried Jack.
"Jack! Let me handle this."
"Jack?" questioned Confidence. "This is Jack, Jack? The Jack who's our bestest friend ever who knows you almost as well as we do? This is the Jack we associate with almost all the good things that have ever happened to us ever! This is that Jack?" Daniel went beet red as Confidence grabbed Jack up into a huge hug. "I love you man, you do good work!" Jack struggled to hold back his huge grin, while he got his breath back.
"Daniel," he heaved, "I'm flattered."
"Don't be," said Paranoia, "I hate you." His eyes flashed with anger. "I blame you for giving him hope that he'd see Sha're again, not that he ever needed help with the impossible quests mind you, but you should have known better. He was a fool to trust you, to believe you even gave a shit. He let you use us like everyone else used us, but it hurt more because, part of him wanted that life that you dangled just out of reach, the myth of family. Family Ha! Family is just another word for pain to us. That's all is ever left when they're torn apart and they are always torn apart. Face it Jack the family was in shreds before we ascended. It was your fault because of your stoic reputation for being a manly macho man was at stake. You can't seem to care more about a guy on your team than you do about the hot blonde. Oh, no it wouldn't look right!"
"Shut up!" Daniel was red with anger and Jack had gone pale. "Jack that's not true, it's not."
"Of course it's true!" spat Paranoia "He knows it and so do you!" he turned to Jack. "You know when I wake up in the morning and it is me that wakes up; he," he gestured to Confidence who looked indignant, "doesn't make an appearance until at least the second cup of caffeine. When I wake up in the morning, all the horrors of the day pass by me, before it's even happened; he makes the inevitable mistake on the translation that gets some team killed off world. He makes some error on an analysis that cost millions of dollars to fix, and costs the program even more in reputation. You," he pointed at Jack, "finally realize what a waste of time and effort it is to try and keep him alive for another day and he's kicked out of the program before dinner." Jack looked at Daniel who was glaring at Paranoia with such hatred he reserved for Mackenzie and System Lords.
"But of course," said Confidence, "who doesn't have self doubts early in the morning before they're really awake. Even people as brilliant as Danny who's done such amazing things are allowed a little moment of weakness. But did you notice that none of the things he said has ever happened? That's because my Danny is the best, he's the foremost authority on almost everything that has to do with the civilizations transplanted through the Stargate. When the program does go public he'll be famous, revered and take his rightful place in the history books."
"Yes," said Paranoia, "but how will history remember the Great Dr Daniel Jackson? Hmm, will it be as the man who figured out the Stargate program and revealed the wonders of the galaxy to us? Or the far more like, the infamous zealot who couldn't leave well enough alone and consequently opened up earth to all the evil in the galaxy."
"I'm done with this," said Daniel, "let's go Jack."
"Don't go guys;" called Confidence, "he's just being a wet blanket you guys have been through hell together, that's the kind of bond that can't simply be broken."
"Yeah, hell froze over and I agree with him don't go, he should hear this, both of you should hear this, how best friends they are even when both are being assholes. Hear how as soon as he heard that Jack was retiring off world he hid in the control room so he wouldn't have to say goodbye. Oh here's a great one about how Jack was an asshole even at his best friend's death bed."
"What are you talking about?" asked Jack.
"'I kinda sorta might maybe have come to admire you,'" said Paranoia in a simpering imitation of Jack. "Jesus man, can you be more indecisive?"
"You never said you remembered that." Jack turned on his friend.
"I err."
"Oh yeah, and it was a huge revelation." Paranoia smiled. "The guy considered to be the best friend he ever had couldn't even muster the decisiveness to assert respect for him on his deathbed."
"He's been nice since we got back though." Confidence smiled. "He kept most of his stuff and that was nice of him." The two men sat on opposite sides of the room silently listening to the figments argue the validity of Daniel's relationship with Jack.
"Why did he even have to go?"
"Oma offered him a great opportunity."
"Oma offered him an out and like the coward that he is he took it and ran. What's worse is you," he pointed at Jack, "you let him die, you let him give up when all he wanted was for you to ask him to stay."
"Jacob couldn't heal him completely he never would have had any kind of life after that Jack did him a favor by letting him go. He needed the distance for him to realize that this is his true path. Jack helped him do that."
"He's just a crutch." said Paranoia, "Jack feels guilty for pushing Daniel to cross the line to disobey Oma, so he's letting him tag along until he gets us killed again."
"But he's our friend; he took us home when he came back from Abydos, helped in the search for Sha're. He let us be on SG-1."
"Do friends yell and scream at you? Do friends mock your values and tell you to shut up? Constantly interrupt anything that we said with words bigger than two syllables?"
"It's Jack he's not into that stuff and he does tend to babble."
"He's not into that stuff? This is Jack O'Neill with a Masters in astronomy and advanced placement certified in numerous aeronautical and tactical areas. He's not dumb we both know that, but what I can't see is why he spends his time with us if he finds your interests so distasteful." Paranoia glanced at Jack. "Were you using us?" he asked, "Like the others for homework help. Or worse was it pity that let him on your team, do you pity us Jack? Like those foster parents, and teachers awww, the poor wittle owphwan wittle Danny. Blech! Makes me sick. Don't be his friend out of pity Jack it just does more harm than good." Daniel paled significantly at the last comment abruptly got up and walked out the door. Confidence called after him but looked at Jack.
"You are the best friend he's ever had and he cares so deeply about you and the rest of SG-1."
"But he's scared," said Paranoia, "that you'll all leave him like everyone else has. You made him take down the barriers that he put to stop from being hurt. Now he's too close and now all he's doing is waiting for you and everyone here to realize what a waste he is and leave him."
"But it's been almost eight years." said Jack in disbelief.
"Here's a basic Daniel trivia question; how old was he when his parents died?"
"He was eight." Jack paused, "Daniel thinks that he can't be with a family for more than eight years?"
"No," said Confidence, "My Danny believes that he has found a home here, with you with SG-1."
"And my Daniel," said Paranoia, "believes that families and friendships just aren't built to last under any circumstances, at least not for him. Take what you can and move on before they get sick of you and they will get sick out you. They always do." Paranoia glared at him, "were you just sick of him Jack? Is that why you pulled away? Why you shut him out? God I'm so confused, by your actions here Jack, you need to make a choice before it's too late."
"What choice?" Jack asked.
"Are you really friends with Daniel Jackson?"
Jack found his friend in full brood mode staring at a translation in his office.
"Daniel?" He turned glancing up.
"Jack."
"Daniel I had no idea you felt that way about our friendship."
"Jack I don't, most of the time." He sighed, "It's just me; I'm screwed up. This isn't about you Jack." Jack glanced at his friend and felt guilty; Daniel had retreated into his self hug driven himself deeper into himself.
"Daniel?"
"Oh god Jack I'm so sorry for all this."
"It's not your fault," said Jack, "You can't help getting sick."
"But, still…"
"No buts Daniel I think we need to get something straight."
"What's that?"
"We are friends."
"I know that Jack."
"I don't think you do, well at least not all of you does." Jack sat across the desk from him. "That last year, before you ascended,"
"Jack,"
"No, Daniel let me finish; that last year things were kind of crazy, the war was becoming more intense the missions more military based. I guess I took for granted our friendship would be there when everything was over."
"You don't have to I pulled away too, it was easier to resurrect my old coping skills than really examine what was going wrong. I tried to be the soldier you wanted but at times I felt like I was fading into the background, my skills weren't being used and I really hated that I couldn't talk to you about it. Then the thing with the Zatarcs and I was glad you and Sam had become close, but I worried what that would mean to the team."
"The thing with Sam was blown way out of proportion; yes I care about her I care about all of you. I wouldn't have left Carter anymore than I would have left you or Teal'c." Daniel cast his eyes down.
"But you did leave me."
"What are you talking about?"
"You left me behind." Jack's jaw dropped, and he began to speak but Daniel jumped in. "I don't mean on a mission Jack I mean here on earth on base. You stopped coming by you stopped inviting me to your house. You started lending me to other teams more and more."
"But you agreed to those placements, all of them were of huge archeological importance."
"Yes, they were and any archeologist on my staff would have been eager to go."
"You wanted to go, the commanders all asked for you specifically because of your skills and interest. I assumed that's what you wanted."
"But you never asked me."
"What?"
"You never asked me if I wanted to go out with other teams."
"Why didn't you say anything?" a bitter smile quirked up on Daniel's face as he looked up at Jack.
"I assumed that's what you wanted." Jack scraped his hands through his hair.
"Well isn't this a fine mess we've gotten ourselves into."
"I'm sorry about all this, Jack; no one should be subjected to the terrifying place that is my psyche." Jack laughed.
"Oh, this, this is nothing and it's not your fault you've got the alien influence get out of jail free card. If anything, it's my fault for playing that stupid prank on you."
"I thought it was a freak snow drift." Daniel smiled.
"Yeah, I might have helped with it just a bit."
"Are you getting indecisive again?"
"Yeah, it's my own defense mechanism. Just like yours." Jack pointed to Daniel's arms wrapped around his chest. "But for the record, I do respect you and admire you even if I don't tell you all the time."
"I only ever needed to hear it once."
"I'm sorry I buried your cases in the snow."
"Apology accepted."
Back in the isolation room, Janet came to check on the figments. Paranoia rolled his eyes and sneered at Confidence who laughed out loud and grabbed the other figment in a huge hug. Even as they struggled the two hallucinations just faded away.