Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They belong to Charlaine Harris. I'm just playing with them, or making them play with themselves...

A/N: This is a one-shot for The Sookieverse Forum Weekly One-Shot Challenge. Have Sookie teach Eric something he didn't know before. I kind of went the perverted way. Hope you like it. Thanks to Suaru-chan for checking this over for me. xoxo

"Hello?" This really is not the first question I want to ask. I want to ask whoever this is calling me at—I turn my head to look at the clock—two in the morning, what's the fucking emergency.

"Hello. I got a call from this number and I was just returning it." Says the sexy voice on the other end of the line.

"No. That can't be right. I didn't call anyone."

"Is this…" He rattles off my phone number as if I don't know what it is.

"Yes, but I didn't call you. I'm pretty sure I would remember considering its two in the morning."

"Shit. I'm sorry. We must be in different time zones. I apologize. If you don't mind me saying, you have one of the sexiest voices I think I've ever heard." I giggle.

"Thank you but it's really late and I'd love to get back to sleep."

"Sure. I'm sorry again to have disturbed you. Can I ask who I'm speaking with?"

"Sookie."

"Sookie. I'm Eric. Goodnight, Sookie."

"Goodnight." I hang up and roll over, falling dead to the world once again.

I cannot believe this. Two nights in a row and my phone is ringing in the middle of the night, again.

"Hello?"

"Sookie?"

"Yes. Who is this?"

"Eric. I talked to you last night." Mr. Sexy Voice…

"Yes. Did you forget that you called me this same time last night and I was sleeping?"

He laughs. "I'm sorry. I did. This is the only time I have to myself. I had to talk to you again."

"Is that right? Well, hang on a sec… okay, so what is it you want to talk about?"

"Anything. I'm at work. I'm an astronomer. I spend my shift staring at the stars and as you can imagine, it can get a little boring."

"I bet. That sounds more interesting than what I do."

"And what is that?"

"I'm a waitress. In fact, I only work the night shift because the tips are better. I just got home an hour ago so…"

"This really isn't a good time for you then."

"Well, I'm awake now so now you have to keep me entertained."

"Keep you entertained. Well, there's not much we can do over the phone."

"Then talk to me. I like the sound of your voice."

And he does. We talk for hours until I begin to yawn and notice the suns coming up.

"Well, I better let you go. I don't want to keep you any longer than I have. It's been really nice talking to you Sookie. Can I call you again?"

"Sure. I'll make sure I'm awake the next time you call though."

He laughs.

We hang up and I drift off to sleep wondering what Eric the astronomer and I will talk about tomorrow night.

Over the next few weeks, we talk every night. I learn more about him and he learns more about me. Then, one night it hits me. I haven't asked what he looks like. I guess it really doesn't matter since I won't ever meet him. It just so happens the same night I'm wondering what he looks like, my ex—Alcide Herveaux—came into my restaurant. Man oh man did he look fine tonight. It's been so long since I'd seen him and old feelings came up. I can admit that I wanted to jump his bones as soon as I saw him, but I can't forget how he hurt me and I won't stoop so low as to hop into bed with him because I'm horny. But if he'd kept looking at me the way he did, I would have thrown my inhibitions out the window and jumped him in the back of his truck. As if on cue, my phone rings.

"So, Eric. We've been talking for how long now?"

"By my calculations, it's been a month."

"Wow, that long?"

"Yeah. I'm amazed too but I feel so comfortable with you, that I would swear I've known you all my life." I smile at that.

"Well, I only mention it because in all the time we've spoken, you've never inquired what I look like."

"Oh. I um… should I have?"

I laugh. "You mentioned how sexy my voice is. Don't you want to know if my voice matches the rest of me?"

"I would love to know that, but I'm being a gentleman."

"What if I don't want you to be? Do you think we could play?" I hear a sharp intake of breath over the line.

"Sookie…"

"Have you ever had phone sex before, Eric?"

"N-no. I haven't. I've heard about it though. Is that weird?"

"It's not weird. Unusual, but not weird."

"So… since I've never done it before, are you willing to teach me?"

"I thought you'd never ask. Are you comfortable?"

"Yeah. As comfortable as I can be."

"Good. What are you wearing?" I try to make my voice as sexy as possible. It catches him off guard and he stammers a bit.

"Um… a uh… lab coat. My lab coat, white button down shirt, tie, khakis…" His voice trails off.

"The lab coat is sexy. Okay, Eric, here's how this works. Since we can't see one another, we have to be as descriptive as possible when explaining to the other what we're doing, wearing, that sort of thing. You think you can do that?"

"Unh, huh. I'll try."

"Don't try, do. I'll start. So I'm wearing a Looney Tunes tee shirt. I'm only telling you this so when I explain to you what I'm wearing, you'll get what I mean by being descriptive. Okay?"

"Okay. I think I got it. I'm ready."

"Now, ask me what I'm wearing."

He clears his throat and I can imagine he's loosening his tie. I giggle.

"What are you wearing?" His voice is deep, and laced with lust. Unh…

"I'm wearing a small, white tee shirt. It's so tight my hard nipples are poking through the fabric. It's worked its way up my waist revealing my tiny white lace panties."

His breathing sounds labored and he clears his throat again.

"I, um… wow. I understand now."

"Good. Now, what do you want me to do, Eric?"

"Um, I don't know, uh… I guess you should touch yourself."

"Where? I have quite a few parts that need attention. What should I touch first?"

"Fuck!" he mutters. "Your breasts. Touch your breasts."

"You're not being descriptive, Eric. How do you want me to touch them?"

"Grab one of your breasts in your hand and give it a gentle squeeze. Then touch your nipple. Roll it between your fingers and squeeze ever so slightly."

"Unh… oh that feels so good."

"Sookie… now squeeze the other one the same way, and tell me how that one feels."

"It feels soooo good. I wish it was your hand though. Can you feel how hard my nipple is for you? Can you feel the weight of my full, firm breasts in your hand?"

"Fuck…" he grunts. I hear what sounds like his zipper being unzipped. Now he's getting it.

"Eric?"

"Yes."

"I want you to put your hand on that nice hard cock of yours. Can you do that for me?"

"Yessss… oh God."

"I want you to grab the base, then stroke all the way up to your head and back down again. I want to hear how hard you are."

"I'm rock hard, Sookie. I'm so hard it hurts."

"Mmm…" I hear him grunt as I groan into the phone.

"Now… now, what?"

"Now, tell me what else you want me to do. And don't stop stroking that big, hard cock." He mutters something under his breath I can't understand. It sounds sexy as hell though.

"I want you to trail your hand down from your breast, smooth it over your stomach and dip it into the top of your panties. Now move your hand down over your mound and feel how wet you are. Tell me how wet you are for me, Sookie."

"I'm dripping wet. I'm so wet my fingers slip right through my folds. Ungh… so good…"

"Now take one of your wet fingers and roll it over your clit. Keep rubbing and don't stop."

I moan and he grunts into the phone. I hear his breathing turn into heavy pants as he continues to stroke himself.

"Does that feel good, Sookie? If it feels good imagine what my cock would feel like thrusting into your hot, wet pussy." Damn, he's a fast learner.

"Unh… so good, Eric. I want to feel you in me."

"Take one of your fingers and push it all the way inside of you, and pump it in and out when I tell you to."

"Ungh… o-okay… ahh…"

"In… out… In… out… a little faster now. Unh, Sookie I want to feel you so bad."

"Eric… Eric… Eric…" I chant his name as I get closer to climaxing.

"Fuck, Sookie. Are you close? Tell me you're close. I want you to come with me."

"Oh, I'm so close baby. So close… oh, Eric…"

I scream his name and not long after I hear him grunt and groan into the phone. Then it goes quiet.

"Eric? You still there?"

After a bit of fumbling I hear his breathy pants come through the phone.

"Sorry, I dropped my phone. Was that good? Did you enjoy that?"

"I did. Very much. You sure you've never done that before?"

"No, I haven't. Like I said, I'm an astronomer. Not too many women find that interesting. And, I work all the time. I don't have much time for dating." That makes me a little sad but I can relate.

"So you never did tell me what you look like?"

"How about you guess?"

"Well, from the sound of your voice, I can tell you have an accent but I'm not sure where it's from. Europe maybe?"

"Close."

"Okay, so you're probably blond, either blue or grey eyes, um… I don't know. Tell me!"

"You're not too far off. I'm Swedish. About six foot five, blue eyes, chiseled jaw, muscular build, and shoulder length blond hair. I've been told I'm good looking, but I don't know." He laughs.

I lick my lips trying to imagine what he looks like in person. Gorgeous, I'm sure.

"Wow. You sound yummy. Why don't you date again?" He laughs long and loud.

"Looks aren't everything. I like a woman with substance. If you're only attracted to the outside, you probably don't care too much about the inside. I'm an intellectual so it matters to me that the woman I date can hold a conversation with me."

"Then there's no point in me telling you what I look like, huh?"

"I want to know! I mean, only if you want to tell me." We laugh together.

"Only if you insist. I'm blonde too, but my hair goes down my back in waves. Um, blue eyes…"

"Light or dark?"

"Light. How about yours?"

"They're dark. Jewel toned."

"Umm… you do sound delectable. Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, round face, full pouty lips, I'm curvy in all the right places, I'm about five foot six and tan."

"Ooh, so you worship the sun, huh?"

"When I can. Hey, you're the one who sits around staring at the stars. I guess that means we're opposites? You're into things I've never thought about. I'm into things you don't get to do."

"I don't mind, just more of me to get to love." Love?

"Listen, Eric it's getting late and I should try to get some sleep, especially after that amazing orgasm. Maybe we can pick this up again tomorrow?"

"Definitely. If it would be okay, could I maybe meet you? If not, that's okay. I just thought since we shared a very intimate moment with one another that maybe…"

"I think we can arrange something. I'd love to teach you a few more tricks."

"And I can't wait for my lessons."

"Goodnight, Eric."

"Goodnight, Sookie."