HI! So this is a story that's been kicking around in my head & I thought I'd give it whirl. Ultimately I don't want to give much away but this will be relatively close to cannon & NOT, I repeat, NOT AU even though it may seem that way at some points in the timeline.
Onwards we go, I don't want to say much as it might give things away but be patient & review if you'd like...if not, I'd probably be writing anyways so might as well publish.
Blanket disclaimer: I am so very obviously not JK Rowling.
An' as it blowed an' blowed
I often looked up at the sky
an' assed meself the question,
what is the stars, what is the stars?
Juno & the Paycock, Sean O'Casey
"No no nooo…melofors turns his head into a pumpkin, lapifors is to turn something into a rabbit. Merlin, I'll never understand this," the young fifth-year murmured to herself as she scratched at her parchment, adding to the already numerous scribble marks marring the page.
Dropping her head to the table in frustration, she happened to catch sight of her watch causing her to leap frantically from the seat and hurriedly shovel everything into her bag before taking off at a run towards the Gryffindor tower before she managed to get herself a detention for being out after curfew. Rounding the corner, she pulled aside a tapestry that would shorten the journey that would ensure she just made curfew only to stumble upon a couple pressed up against the wall, frantically snogging and groping one another.
Freezing at the sight, her mouth dropped open slightly until a furious gray stare locked on her eyes and a cold voice cut through the tension, "May we help you, Carrow?" he asked with disdain.
Managing to pull herself together, her jaw snapped shut, clenching together angrily and her voice steely in reply, "No Black," she stated coldly, placing as much venom into his surname as possible, "Just cutting through to my common room – I should've known you'd have a talent for turning a respectable passageway into a brothel."
Trying to shove past the couple, she found her way blocked as Black used his superior height to loom over her, stopping her movement easily as he gripped onto her upper arm tightly, "Unfortunately, this way is blocked." His face twisted into a sardonic smirk as he whirled her around shoving her back through the way she came while the platinum blonde behind him waved a smug goodbye.
Feeling her blood boil, she nearly tumbled to the hard stone from the momentum of the throw. Furiously, she attempted to get back through only to find the passage magically sealed, only an echoing laugh proving it wasn't a solid wall. Stifling a groan and feeling her frustration and anger mount she turned to hurry through the now deserted school, praying she didn't run into any prefects or professors who might give her detention for breaking curfew, knowing the consequences if that happened.
"The nerve of that bastard and that silly bint. If I get detention I'm going to hex him into next week," she mumbled to herself, her steps echoing across the darkened halls. Finally, hurrying up the stairs towards the final stretch of corridor she careened into another body, swearing bitterly as her book-filled bag managed to explode as she landed heavily onto the hard stone.
This night could apparently not get any worse.
Breathing heavily, she felt herself dragged up roughly by the wrist, feeling a tense pressure on the bone as she locked eyes with a pair of dark orbs, "Snape," she hissed, "Let go."
"Carrow," he breathed out lowly, "I could easily take points from you for breaking curfew. Bad enough to be a blood-traitor, but a rule breaker on top of it? Tsk, tsk…what would your family do to you if they found out?" he asked with a cruel smile.
Attempting to wrench her wrist free, she felt bile rise in her throat at the thought of her family. Using all the strength of her upbringing, she pulled herself up to her full height of five three, "I said let go," she gritted out as she glared stonily into his dark eyes until he dropped her wrist as though burned.
Standing stiffly in front of him, she waited for his next idle threat, knowing it could hold no weight over her as he slowly circled her, robes billowing behind his pale figure, "Now it seems you've a problem: I can certainly make things difficult for you if I should chose to or you can do a favor for me and we'll forget all about this little rule-breaking."
Glaring into his dark eyes, she felt her hand twitch longingly towards her wand in the pocket of her bag that lay a few feet away, "Carrows are not easily threatened nor do we exchange favors," she gritted out, willing him to just leave to she could get into her dorm and get some peace from the insufferable gits that seemed to crop up at every turn.
"I'd be concerned if you were a Carrow in anything but name but alas, the higher the pedestal the harder they fall," he said with a sneer, letting his words linger before continuing, "Tell me princess – just where are you planning on staying this summer? Unwelcome at home, an outcast snake in the lion's den, no true friends to speak of…" his voice trailed off, cruelty dripping from each word as the question weighed over them both.
She turned her head sharply up to his, meeting his eyes while trying to keep the burning fire of anger out of her eyes as though he wasn't even worthy of her emotion, "That is none of your concern. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an exam tomorrow that I must be well rested for."
Dropping stiffly down to the ground, she quickly gathered her things, "Do you think I'm done speaking with you?" he questioned quietly, threateningly.
"I don't really give a shit either way," she answered back softly as she pulled the last book into her arms, "Heard what happened by the lake today – bested by Potter again. Must hurt to always be half the man he is," she said evenly and without emotion though both knew what the 'half' really referred to.
"You say another word about that twat & I'll make sure your siblings know all about wh –" Snape's threat died on his lips as she raised her eyes to meet his again, arching a delicate eyebrow in his direction.
"You'll not breathe a word," she ordered before turning to walk the final steps towards the Fat Lady, leaving Snape standing silently behind her, wondering what had turned a simple night of studying into two miserable encounters.
Walking into the common room, she sighed in relief to see it was empty, the embers of the fire throwing off their last dying glow. In the silence she let her walls drop, feeling the pressure of the past few months weighing heavily on her soul. Rubbing her temples tiredly, she dropped her bag onto the ground with a loud thunk before pulling her hair out of the confines of its messy bun, running her fingers through the curls as she sighed heavily.
"Where will I go?" she mumbled softly, trying to fight the familiar well of tears that were always just threatening to drown her.
"Most go to bed at this time of night, Carrow," a surprisingly soft voice said from the corner of the room.
Her eyes shot over to see Potter sitting on the arm of a chair, gazing seriously into the dying fire. Startled, she eyed him warily, "I suppose they do," she replied back just as softly before reluctantly heading towards the stairs to her room, trying to shake off her annoyance at not having time to be alone and think through tonight.
"You don't have to go," he said to her, not entirely sure why he wanted her to stay. He just didn't want to be alone right now and evidently the former "Pure-blood Princess" would have to do for company right now.
Surprising both of them, she turned and walked towards him, flopping down into the chair opposite him before throwing her feet across the arm of it as she stared out the open window into the night sky. They sat in silence for a few minutes, both lost in thought while she tapped her foot softly against the stone wall.
"That's really annoying," he said sharply, catching her just as her foot was about to tap once more against the wall. He glanced over at her as he saw her blush slightly, surprised that the lightly tanned skin could actually color in embarrassment. He'd always known her by her icy veneer and the light pink tinge made him feel like the earth had momentarily slipped off its axis.
"Sorry," she mumbled, stifling a yawn as she leaned back in the chair. Her long golden-brown hair tumbled down the side, wild curls catching the last bit of light from the fire causing a slight hint of deep auburn to shine through turning his thoughts immediately to Evans.
Wrenching his gaze from her multi-hued hair, he glanced over to see her eyeing him carefully. He caught her gaze, shocked to note that her eyes were a deep blue that bordered on violet and with a jolt he realized he'd never actually spoken to her socially nor had he ever met her gaze full on.
"Do I have something on my face, Potter?" she asked lightly and he snorted, shocked she'd actually managed some sort of joke. Rolling her eyes, she broke their gaze and returned to staring silently out the window. Surprised at how comfortable it was to sit with her, he did the same, mirroring her position by throwing his feet over the arm of the chair and tucking his hands beneath his head as he leaned back to see more of the night sky.
"When I was little I used to think stars were just holes to heaven," he said quietly as he remembered a simpler time in his life that went out the window the second he realized he was in love with a girl who'd never love him back.
He glanced at her from the corner of his eye to see the corner of her lips pull up slightly as her aristocratic nose scrunched up slightly in confusion, "What's heaven?"
Smiling, he was reminded of how purely bred she still was, regardless of the past 5 years in Gryffindor, "Didn't hit that chapter in Muggle Studies?" he joked lightly, rewarded by a soft laugh.
"You know very well I don't take Muggle Studies, now explain," she ordered sternly, staring in his direction as he immediately obliged her.
"Heaven is where muggles think they go when they die – it's a happy place…I guess that's the best way to describe it," he answered simply, not sure of how to best explain something so monumental.
Intrigued, she sat up before tucking her feet under her, "And it's in the sky?" she asked, tilting her head to the side in thought.
Giving a noncommittal shrug, he sat up too, "Supposedly."
"Huh…I like that idea. I guess I always figured death was the end, ya know? But it's kinda nice to hear this might not be it." He caught her gaze again, struck once more by the depth of her eyes and surprised at the surge of guilt he felt bubbling in his stomach.
"It's funny, we've known each other for five years and I don't think I've ever properly met you," he commented, sitting up quickly and offering a hand in her direction.
She eyed him warily, "I won't bite," he said with a grin as he moved his hand closer to her, "I'm James Potter."
Laughing slightly she gave a small smile as she placed her small hand in his large one, "Astraea Carrow. And I think I've always known you, least I've known about the Potter family since I can remember."
"Typical," he said with a snort, "I've known of you too, of course. Quite famous you lot are – only blood that can be traced all the way back to the Greeks."
"True. Though that just means we've more inbreeding than most families," she commented with disgust at her lineage.
James laughed quietly at her words which garnered a shy smile in his direction, "You should do that more often," he said seriously, noticing the hint of a dimple beneath her smooth skin.
"What?" she asked, that soft smile staying on her lips, barely there and giving the impression to the viewer that she had a million secrets lying within her soul just begging to be spilled.
"Smile," he said with a grin of his own.
At his words, the smile nearly reached her eyes as she opened her mouth to reply.
But unfortunately for James, whatever reply that was forthcoming was cut off as the door to the common room flew open and his best mate strut confidently into the room. The change in the atmosphere was palpable as Astraea stiffened and her eyes darkened to a deep, stony midnight blue at the sight of the dark-haired boy who had yet to notice them.
Standing swiftly, she quickly gathered her belongings, "Night James," she said quietly, lips twisting into an apologetic smile as she tried to make a hasty escape, "Good luck on the rest of your O.W.L.s…"
James noticed she trailed off suddenly as he glanced up to see Sirius staring at her with an indecipherable mixture of emotion, though anger and hatred were decidedly obvious, "What are you doing down here, Carrow?"
"This is my common room too, Black, I have every right to be here as you do," she snapped back, staring him down icily.
James' eyes darted back and forth between the two, apparently forgotten by both. He was struck by the similarities that clearly marked the two as members of the upper echelons of wizarding society no matter how far they'd fallen.
Both had impeccable posture, standing rigid and ramrod straight as they glared at one another and while Sirius had nearly a foot of height on her you'd never know it from the way she held her chin high and determined. Her hair nearly reached the curve of her back and James was momentarily hypnotized by the colors until she moved swiftly past his mate, walking slowly and proudly to the stairs.
"Snakes aren't welcome here, you should've been chucked out years ago," Sirius spat out, glaring angrily at her retreating figure.
Astraea stiffened at his words, hesitating slightly in her path before replying calculatingly, "You ought to look up 'irony' in the dictionary, Black, I think it'd be of some use to that over-blown Gryffindor ego."
The look of fury on his best mate's face, made James wonder not for the first time why the two that were so similar in status and situation loathed each other. Sirius never missed an opportunity to hurt the girl – either mentally or physically – while she tended to act above it all though everyone knew she'd eventually even the score with a well-timed jinx that would never be traced back to her.
Not sure what made him do it, James interrupted by loudly shouting, "Goodnight Astraea!" smiling as both she and Sirius blanched at the noise, "I hope you dream of heaven tonight."
Confused as to where his concern for the girl came from, he felt oddly buoyed by the soft smile and glance of night-blue eyes that met his for one last time before they disappeared up the stairs, leaving the two boys alone.
Still standing staring at the spot she'd just vacated he was startled when Sirius crossed the space between them in two steps and gripped his forearm tightly, glaring down at him, "What was that about? Are you friends with the fallen star?" he hissed out incredulously, fury rolling in his stormy gray eyes.
Shocked, James pulled his arm free, "Padfoot, relax. I've said about ten words to the girl. I guess I'm just a bit off after this afternoon…though what's it to you if I was friends with her anyway? She seems harmless...plus not bad on the eyes either."
And it was true now that James thought about it a bit, Sirius would charm any girl that came near him – attractive or otherwise, Gryffindor or Slytherin, skinny or fat, witch or muggle – he didn't discriminate. The only glaring exception was Astraea Carrow who he treated as though she were Voldemort himself. James made a lot of excuses for his best mate's shortcomings and he realized now with a rash of clarity just how cruel his friend could be to a girl whose only apparent crime was her name.
"You don't know her like I do, Prongs." He answered in clipped words, his face a mask of stony calm that James rarely saw directed at him as it was usually reserved for run-ins with his family members, "Just keep away from her, she'll only bring you heartache and pain."
With that, Sirius turned to walk calmly up to their shared dorm leaving his best mate to wonder two things: what the hell had happened between the two to cause Sirius to actually threaten him over her and just how he could stay away from her when he kept seeing her smile dancing behind his eyelids.
So there you have it. Apologies if its a little rough in the beginning as I get back into the HP world!