Somewhere Somehow

Summary – Lily is saying her last goodbye to Harry before leaving him...Songfic to Somewhere, Somehow by Wet Wet Wet.

Author's Note – My first Lily/Harry fic, my first from mother to son fic! I know there must be loads of fics like this one and I'm sorry, but I beg you to read it...Cause it really made me a funny thing in my heart while I wrote it... Be nice please and take it easy! Read and review...

Disclaimer – I own nothing.

I look deep into Harry's eyes. It's almost like looking in the mirror and seeing my own eyes: really bright green with flecks of grey. That's all of me there is in him; he has James jet black hair and gorgeous, flawless face.

But I hope that he'll know that though his green eyes are all that he has from me physically, inside of him, I'll always reside. Inside of him, there's all of me.

If you're there and you care
and you listen very careful darling,
you'll hear my prayer

I'll be the little bit of hope running through him each time he feels desperate. I'll be his blood running through his veins. I'll be the happiness that will carry him each time he feels down.

I drop to my knees beside the bed and reach out to touch his delicate features with my finger.

and if you hear loud and clear,
you would get a million kisses from me,
somewhere, somehow.

It's like he can feel me touching him and he giggles that babyish laugh I will miss so much...

'Listen to me Harry,' I whisper close to his ear, letting my tears fall freely. 'I'll always be there with you in your heart, baby. If you listen very carefully and think hard about me, you'll hear me.'

And if the night's a lonely time for you,
just listen to the words I gave to you,
let the song of ours play one more time,
somewhere, somehow,
I'll be there.

He gurgles happily and I know that he can't hear me, but I caress his cheek, my fingers barely touching him. 'I love you Harry,' I cry. 'Keep that in mind. These are the words I give to you and that I won't take back.'

Went out walkin' in the morning
standing in the pouring rain
Let it run all over me

I feel like I'm walking through a cyclone. I try to wash away the throbbing in my heart and soul. But it's useless. I know I was meant to hurt like this; I'm leaving my life behind. I am leaving my own blood and flesh behind. My heart is being ripped in two. It has already been, part of my heart has gone with James and now, I'm leaving the other half to Harry.

I am fading away.


Stayed up late last night
tryin' to put all the things right
Then your tears roll over me.

'Oh, Harry,' I mutter.

Harry gurgles away and my eyes fill with a new wave of tears. It's the last time I'm hearing him. I'll never hear the words every woman longs to hear: Mom. I won't be there when he does say it. I won't be there to see him off school...or console him at his first heartbreak.


And if the night's a lonely time for you,
just listen to the words I gave to you,
let the song of ours play one more time,
somewhere, somehow,
I'll be there.

'I don't want to go,' I whisper running a gentle hand through his soft hair. My hand feels numb.

'I don't want to leave you to face this cruel world all alone. My baby...My boy... My taste of heaven,' I close my eyes and feel warm tears fall down, but the sheets are not stained.


If you're there and you care
You will get a million kisses from me
Somewhere, somehow.

My heart is shattered. 'How can they ask me to leave you? How can they tear me away from you like that?' I ask. 'Why does fate have to be so cruel?'

I know about the heavy burden already imposed upon your tiny shoulders, angel. I'm so sorry...It's part our fault that your...destiny is so –

I stop as my emotions get the best of me and I close my eyes to stop the tears from falling, but it's useless. I'm like a glass being overfilled with water and the tap won't close.


And if you feel like I feel
Love cuts the deepest part of me
Somewhere, somehow.

I'm sorry, Harry. 'I'm sorry, for the burden we have imposed on you...I'm sorry I won't be there to see you grow up...' I say through my sniffles, 'I'm sorry I have to go.'

I can feel myself already going.

'You'll never be lonely, my love,' I say, leaning in to brush my lips against his cheek. I swallow my tears. 'I'll always be there when you need me. Think hard about me and someway, somehow...I'll be there.'


And if the night's a lonely time for you,
just listen to the words I gave to you,
let the song of ours play one more time,
somewhere, somehow,
I'll be there.

I get up and take a few steps back. It's as though he can feel that something is being taken away from him... He starts to cry.

I want to reach out once more and hold him one last time in my arms...I want to smell that refreshing smell of his hair, feel his heart beat against mine one more time...I reach out, but I can see myself fading away...

I hear footsteps and the door opens...

I whirl around...

Petunia comes in and walks over to Harry.

I take back my hand and watch as Petunia takes Harry in her arms... 'Never forget what I gave to you, Harry,' I whisper.

It's like he heard me and as I am being taken away to heaven, even though I know it is impossible, his eyes meets mine, and he babbled something very similar to 'Mama'...


Author's Note – How was it? Did it do you something funny in the heart to? Did I transmit the right emotion that I wanted to? Help me know...And press the 'Go' button next to 'Submit Review'...Pretty please?