Introduction:
Hello there. My name is Emmett, Emmett Cullen, but you can just call me sexy. *wink* I am sitting in my living room, next to the fire, stroking a cat (not literally...it just sounds cooler to think of it that way) writing the autobiography a strange man in a green hat told me to. Through this small and humble collection of stories* you will come to love my awesomeness.
*after reading please attempt to say with a straight face