Once upon a time, in a land not-so-far-away, an extremely loud and annoyingly cheerful alarm clock buzzed.
"Bzzzzz! Bzzzzz! Bzzzz!" It made a low pitched noise that was layered with higher overtones, rather like an opera singer whose well-trained voice is strained to the point of being in serious danger of cracking. As it rang, it vibrated slightly, similar to the alarm clocks in old-fashioned cartoons. This sort of behavior is not what one would expect from an average alarm clock, but it stubbornly refused to conform to modern society's standards, and went right on buzzing as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
After a few minutes of fruitlessly trying to ignore the drone of the determined clock, a hand (which was, miraculously, attached to an arm) reached out and banged the source of the noise on its head.
The alarm clock submissively stopped buzzing at once. It decided to sulk for a few minutes, but it quickly forgot all about the ungratefulness it got for doing its job properly. Alarm clocks, as everybody who is anybody should know, can never hold grudges for long.
The owner of the arm groaned. She poked her head out from under the blankets, and grabbed the dresser that the alarm clock was resting on. Using the steady surface for support, she dragged her exhausted body out of bed.
"Uhmf!" she muttered under her breath. "Stupid goblins."
That previous night, Captain Holly Short of the LEP had singlehandedly followed a goblin gang to their lair, snuck in through the back entrance, and placed all fourteen of the goblins under arrest. The only problem was that as she was heading back to the LEP headquarters, the rest of the gang had spotted her, and after a few moments of stunned silence, decided to teach a lesson to the elf that dared to mess with the Daerwicket gang. (Holly had a vague idea of what exactly "Daerwicket" meant, but knew better than to inquire further.) Holly had been forced to abandon half of the prisoners in order to escape with the remaining captives. It was past one o'clock in the morning when she finally got to the LEP headquarters, and did she get so much as a "Thank You"? No! That was gratitude for you.
And after all that, she still had to get to work bright and early to finish all the paper work for the seven goblin fugitives. Then she would have to track down the rest of the Daerwicket gang. At least that wouldn't be too hard. Goblins were not the brightest creatures, so their "lair" would probably be in the exact same spot it had been last night.
Holly frowned. The gang of goblins was causing too much trouble. They had been running a so-called "secret" operation for months. They smuggled dried prunes into Haven, and sold them for ridiculous prices. That seemed harmless enough, but the prunes were being purchased from a mud man, and it was rumored that the goblins allowed themselves to be seen in broad daylight. The mud man had been located and mind-wiped, but the goblins had to be prevented from making contact with him again. Foaly, the LEP's technical wizard, ran some tests and confirmed that the human had seen goblins, quite a few of them in fact. With things going like they were, it was only a matter of time before humans discovered the presence of fairies.
Still muttering, Holly pulled on her uniform, which had been carelessly thrown on the ground the night before. She then marched into a small bathroom that was situated right outside her bedroom. After glaring at her reflection in the mirror, Holly became lost in her own thoughts:
Aha! A brush! Yes… no dumping out the contents of my closet in search of a brush today! Oww! That hurt. Hair is singed from stupid goblins. Must get it trimmed soon. No time now. I shall wear hat. Wait… no hats allowed inside LEP. Ooooh, Scissors! Have always wanted to be hair stylist. Well, nothing to lose. Can't get much worse.
Snip. Snip. Snippidy snip.
Correction: CAN get much worse. Stupid hair. Stupid scissors. Stupid goblin. Never will be a hair stylist. Oh well. Will pretend that it is the latest style in Atlantis. Should fool them for a couple of days.
(End of Holly's thoughts)
Holly wondered what was wrong with her. A few months ago, she wouldn't have cared about her hair this much. She had always firmly believed that looks didn't matter as much as what was on the inside. Of course, she always tried to look presentable and clean, but not to the point of spending hours each day on her appearance. As an LEP captain, she didn't have any time to waste.
A voice popped up in Holly's mind. "It's not as if you're trying to impress anyone."
Another voice joined the first one, "Oh really? Come on don't try to deny it. You know as well as anyone that you ARE trying to impress somebody. A certain friend by the name of-"
"STOP!" The first voice yelled. "Don't you dare say it."
"Why not? You're in denial. I'm just helping you out."
"I don't need help, thank you very much."
"Whatever."
Meanwhile, Holly was in the middle of brushing her teeth, completely unaware of the battle going on subconsciously in her mind. When she decided that her mouth was clean enough, she spit out the leftover toothpaste and casually strolled into her apartment's kitchen. She was just grabbing her keys off the counter when she noticed the clock. Five minutes to get to work! Holly skidded across the dusty tiled floor of her apartment to the door. The keys were jammed into the door much harder than they needed to be. Hah! It would teach them a lesson! Okay, the door was unlocked, but it was stuck. Holly kicked it as hard as she could. The door didn't budge, and her foot was now throbbing painfully. It would heal eventually, but would make kicking doors a bit harder for the next few minutes. Sighing, Holly tried the doorknob one more time. The door swing open.
There would be time to punish the door later, so Holly had to content herself with giving it an evil glare before dashing off down the busy street. She pushed her way through a group of business fairies standing outside an office building. Running at top speed, she swerved to avoid an older fairy with a walker. She could see the LEP headquarters now. It loomed over the other buildings in the nearby areas.
Almost there… any second now… so close!
Holly reached the doors of the building. She was right on time. Slowing to a walk, the LEP captain ambled up the stairs. There was no need to let everybody know she had been running late. And literally running.
Holly had almost reached small office, drawing only minimal stares to her hairdo when she turned a corner and ran into the person she least wanted to see at the moment.
"Good morning Captain Short."
"Good morning Trouble. Why are you here? Don't you have something more important to be doing?"
"Well, I saw something very strange today. There was a crazy pedestrian racing through the street pushing everyone out of his or her way. But the strange thing was, he –or should I say she- was wearing an LEP uniform. Did you see anything like that on your way here? I am planning on finding whoever that was and arresting them for obstruction of peace. Many citizens could have been hurt by this careless act." Trouble smirked.
Holly stared at him, wondering if he was serious. He gave her a look of complete innocence.
When it was clear that she wasn't going to respond, he said, "So you didn't see anyone? That's too bad. Oh well, thanks anyway. You know, it's strange. The fairy looked almost like you. Maybe a long lost sister? "
All Holly could do was glare. Trouble seemed quite unaffected.
"Well, goodbye," he said, and started walking away. Once he was a good six feet away from her, he turned around briefly and said, "By the way, nice hair."
Holly searched for something to say, but couldn't think of anything. "It's the latest style in Atlantis," she lamely shouted after him.