A/N: This is just a quick one-shot I thought of just a while ago and I felt the need to write it down. Be warned, it's totally cracky!

Pairings: FRUKUS

Warnings: boyxboy love, some cussing, and use of both human and nation names

Disclaimer: Hetalia does not belong to me =(

England backed away from the two blondes in front of him, searching for an escape route. He could see none and as he stepped backwards, he hit the wall behind him, leaving him stuck and completely helpless in his own home.

"Shit!" he muttered, sweating fervently.

"You can't run away anymore Artie," America leered at the shorter nation.

"Ohonhon little Alfred is right mon ami," France added with a look England recognized all too well. "You must make your choice right now."

"Yeah, who you gonna choose? Me or the frog here?" America asked eagerly. France glared the bespectacled country who didn't notice.

"Please speak properly America," England said trying to distract the pair in front of him.

"I don't understand why it's so difficult for you to choose. That hamburger moron is much too stupid for you Angleterre," France smirked.

"Shut up froggy, you're the stupid one!" America shot back.

"Really? What a great comeback," France said dryly and America proceeded to start choking the French nation. England took this momentary distraction to run upstairs to his bedroom.

After a few minutes of fighting and yelling insults to each other, America and France noticed that the object of their affections had disappeared only to be replaced by a dark haired maid who looked terrified.

"Where did Iggy go?" America asked the girl who was named Molly.

"Um, he said he was going to make his decision and that he would come back down after his choice was made. You two are welcome to stay and wait in the sitting room," Molly replied. "Please don't hesitate to tell me if you need anything." And with that, the girl ran out of the room before the two nations started fighting again.

"Great," France sighed. "Now what do we do?"

"We wait you idiot," America snapped as he sat on the right side of a loveseat. France bit back a response, not wanting to get beat up again. Instead he took the left side of the loveseat, making sure there was a wide space between him and America. The two lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, both hoping that the British nation would come down soon to either choose or break their hearts.

"I think he's going to choose you," France sighed heavily.

"Yeah…wait what?" America said incredulously.

"I admit you are incredibly young and handsome and even though you act like a ditz, you're smart enough to be a superpower. The only superpower in the world actually. I, on the other hand have been on the losing end of many wars and battles," France replied and to his surprise America blushed.

"Gee, thanks Francis," the younger country looked down at his hands. "But I think Iggy is gonna choose you 'cause you're…you know, the country of love and you're real suave and debonair and you're really good with words."

At some point during America's little confession, France had slid his way closer to the other blonde and was now rubbing his hand on the American's thigh. America looked at the France, his face reddening as the elder nation cupped his chin with his free hand to pull him closer.

"All right you two, I've made my decision!" England stopped dead in his tracks as he noticed his two supposed suitors making out with each other on his loveseat.

"Oh what the fuck!" England choked out, feeling a great headache coming. "Molly fetch me my coat! I'm going to the pub!"

A/N: Yeah…I was really bored when I wrote this lol XD. As for who England was gonna choose is a secret haha ;)