The New Hero of Time - Episode Eleven!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!! Okay, so it's not perfect but just read it before I cry... Are you reading yet? Hello? sniff... Sniff... WAHHHH!!!!!!!! What- you're reading this? Damnit.... Just keep reading it then...
Navi: You are so stupid...
Tucker: Oh, just shut up...
Navi: What did you say?
Tucker: Fire keese...
Navi: Fire what?
Fire Keese: EEEK!!!
Navi: OW! Get away butthole!
Tucker: Yes... Go... Be elsewhere... Eek... Eek...
Navi: Will you just get it away from me?
Tucker: Fine! JEEZ!
Tucker fired his firestorm cannon at the fire keese, he didn't hit it, but it flew off like a bat out of hell that was on fire...
Navi: Why didn't you kill it?
Tucker: OH JUST BITE ME, NAVI!!!
Navi: What's yer problem? So you had to leave Ivana at the camp outside the temple... She wouldn't of survived in here anyway?
Tucker: Yeah, I'm just... SO ANGRY!!!!!!! It's been so long since I've gotten laid!
Navi: It's been like fifteen minutes!
Tucker: Don't remind me...I am gonna go crazy on this dungeon!
Navi: Speaking of crazy, how are you surviving in here, it's gotta be like four hundred degrees...
Tucker: Magic...
Navi: Ah-
Tucker: I DON'T KNOW!!! Let's just stop questioning stupid things...
Navi: Fine...
Tucker: God I miss Ivana...
Navi: IT'S BEEN FIFTEEN MINUTES!!!! Let it go!
Tucker: Okay, okay, let's just finish quickly...
Navi and Tucker continued into the dungeon and after climbing a large flight of stairs Tucker took a left and entered a large room with a lava pit in it.
Tucker: Hello?
Navi: Why would someone be in here?
Tucker: Stop questioning my logic and let me live my own life Navi... Dariuna is supposed to be in here... He goes off to fight Volvagia, leaving me to fight my way through the dungeon, to retrieve the Megaton Hammer and then use it to kill Volvagia, thus making Dariuna awaken as the fire sage...
Navi: Wow...
Tucker: But, I'm at a loss here, Saria wasn't awakened as a sage, but then again, I guess if I can clear out these temples and never open the door of time, then Ganondorf can never get into the sacred realm and steal the triforce and send the world to hell...
Navi: Would Link of opened the door?
Voice: YES!
Tucker: Oh, what now?
Tucker looked to the opposite side of the lava pit to find the source of the voice, but when he looked over, his eyes met the eyes of someone he had already met in his adventure... Link...
Navi: LINK! You're alive?! I thought this idiot killed you!
Tucker: Yeah, what's up with that?
Link: I had a fairy...
Tucker: Ohhhh, of course... Of course... Stupid, stupid, stupid...
Link: YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!!! HYRULE WAS ALMOST DESTROYED!!! AND I JUST NOW CAUGHT UP WITH YOU!!!
Tucker: How the devil did you catch up to us so fast?
Link: The kokiri told me where you were going and I just followed your path of random destruction... But when i got to the summit, I met an impass, you'd lost me...
Tucker: Yeah, I have a tendancy of losing people... Sorry about that...
Link: Give me the spiritual stones! I have to get the Master Sword!
Tucker: No way, if I ket you open that door, then Gdizzle will get the triforce...
Link: Maybe you'll reconsider if you look to your left...
Tucker looked over and saw the cage that had originally held an imporssoned goron. When he got a better look he noticed that there was someone on the floor of the cage... Tucker jumped over to get a better look, and he was shocked when he saw Ivana in the cage, sweating badly and gasping for air.
Tucker: IVANA!!! Let her go you bastard!
Link: Then give me the spiritual stones!
Tucker: You want em? Okay...
Tucker jumped over to the platform Link was standing on and pulled out his sword and pointed it at Link.
Tucker: Winner takes all!
Navi: NO! He'll kick your ass in a swordfight!
Tucker: Who?
Navi: You!
Tucker: I'll beat him?
Navi: No! He'll beat you!
Tucker: What? I've got two feet and a hundred pounds on him...
Navi: It's a sword fight...
Tucker: Oh, right...
Link jumped forward and slashed Tucker's wrist, making him drop his sword. Tucker recoiled back and rolled away and picked up his sword again. Link jump-attacked and Tucker dodged him, side-slashed and Link jumped over the blade and back-slashed and cut Tucker's face.
Tucker: Oh, screw this...
Tucker stuck his sword in the floor and walked forward toward Link. Link readied himself and jump-attacked again, but Tucker stepped aside and grabbed Link's arm and pulled the sword out of his hands and threw it into the lava.
Link: NO! The kokiri's sword!
Tucker: Oh well...
Link: You cheater!
Tucker: BOYA! You're the one who kidnapped my girl! Oh, right, HANG ON IVANA, BE WITH YOU IN TEN SECONDS!!!
Link looked up at Tucker, and then over at Ivana...
Link: If you kill me, you'll never find the key that opens the cell!!!
Tucker: Heh... Heh... Heh...
Link: What's so funny?
Tucker: Who said I was gonna kill you?
Link: You're not?
Tucker: Not if you give me the key right now...
Link thought for a second then reached into his belt and handed Tucker a small key. Tucker looked down at Link and smiled evily... Link's eyes widened as Tucker pulled his sword out of the floor and raised it above his head. Link cringed, then Tucker sheathed his sword and let Link go. Link fell to the floor as Tucker jumped over to the cell and unlocked it. Tucker picked up Ivana and started to walk away but Link jumped in front of him again.
Tucker: Kid, I really don't have time for you, I have to take Ivana out of here and then come back and kill Volvagia, and it's all your fault...
Link: WHAT?! My fault?
Tucker: Well, yeah, who's fault is it? Navi's? NAVI! HOW COULD YOU?!
Navi: Stupid...
Tucker: Okay, jokes in life and death situations, gotta go...
Link: NO! Not yet! You-
Tucker had had enough with Link, so, not wanting to waste any more time, Tucker kicked Link in the face and smashed his head into the wall, knocking him out...
Tucker: Sorry dude, can't have ya causin' any trouble-
After Link's head hit the wall, a slight rumbling could be heard far off in the next room, but due to his monologue, Tucker ignored it. As Tucker reached down to pick up Link, the lava pool began to rise in the center, as though something was coming out of it... Tucker stood up and turned around, his eyes widened as not one, not two, but three dragons rose from the lava.
Tucker: Three dragons? I thought there was only one!
Dragons: NOT THREE! ONE!!!
Tucker: What?!
Dragons: YOU AWAKEND US!!! YOU DIE! DIE! DIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Tucker: Damnit, I don't have time for this!!!!
Tucker looked on as the three dragons rose completely and Tucker saw that it wasn't three dragons, it was one big dragon with three heads. Tucker put Link and Ivana down and stood to face the dragons. All three dragons rose up and prepared to strike, Tucker raised his sword as the dragons all fired massive fireballs at him. As they impacted they blew out the wall behind him and several rocks fell and the lava rose another few feet. As the smoke cleared, the dragons looked around, but Tucker, Link, Ivana and Navi were nowhere to be found.
Dragons: HE'S DEAD! WE RULE AGAIN!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!