Where. The fuck. Am I.

That was Lieutenant Anneliese Cody's first thought upon exiting her crash-landed ship to find vacant countryside in the middle of nowhere. She had woken twenty minutes before to turbulent spiraling toward a planet surface. She assumed that meant she'd come into range of her target destination and the ship's navigational features kicked in, but something must have gone screwy with the coordinates, because this looked less like a military outpost and more like ass-nowhere. She sighed and started off, hoping her ship had at least gotten the right planet. Command was going to be pissed.

For a while, it was all dust and thorns and wild golden grass, stretching up to a distant white sun. Cody didn't have much by way of supplies, but she passed enough streams and fruit-bearing plants to alleviate her worry. A forest rose to the north, off to her left, and shortly after she found it: a useless box canyon.

But as she approached the edge of the cliffs bordering it, she looked down and groaned. No bases.

"Fuck," she muttered. "Who puts two useless box canyons on the same fucking planet?"

With a huff, she carried on, skirting the edge and heading into plains on the canyon's other side. Traces of water and fruit began to fade, but she had daylight left, or at least it looked like she did. Knowing her luck, that sun was slowly setting rather than rising. A gadget beeped in her pocket. She pretended she didn't hear it- as if she could miss a sound in this silent arid landscape- and walked on. Not ready to talk to Command, not just yet.

Hills emerged from the plains and she groaned again. You've got to be fucking kidding me. Whatever hellscape she'd entered, she didn't see why the UNSC bothered to keep an active base in it. Honestly- the simulation troopers that had been there vastly outgrew their positions and headed out. There wasn't supposed to even be anyone left there. But Command had sensed movement in the canyon, and they wanted someone to investigate. And Cody had her own reasons for interest in that outpost, so she signed on. No one else volunteered. Go figure.

Her thighs ached. Her feet ached. Her throat was parched. It was hot. This planet was fucking miserable, and as she ascended and descended the hills, it seemed they would never end. Soon, every direction stretched endless with, just, more fucking hills. If there was really a God, he was a fucking dick to design this place. Cody had an easier time field training on Sidewinder than this useless hell-hole.

Then, at last, the hills ended- and another useless box canyon stretched before her. I swear to fuck, if this isn't it, I'm walking back to the ship.

The sun was definitely setting, sending scarlet streaks across an open sky from a merge of bruise-purple clouds on a distant horizon. The opposite side of the canyon showed more hills- and more to the south, with a couple of plateaus. North, mountains. If this wasn't it, Cody had a long walk in the dark back to the smoking rubble of her ship.

But as she walked forward, and looked down into the box canyon, relief filled her: There at the north, a red base, and there at the south, a blue base. And in the middle- a crash-landed banshee, with nine troopers filing out of it.

"Fuck," Cody muttered, seeing the colors.

Red. Orange. Maroon. Pink. Blue. Black. Turquoise. And- cyan? Aqua? Off-turquoise? What the fuck is that color's name? Anyway. The Reds and Blues were back in Blood Gulch- and that made Cody's job a hell of a lot harder to report.

With a sigh, she ducked back behind a boulder and called Command.

"Lieutenant Cody," came the smooth greeting. "Have you arrived in Blood Gulch Outpost? We received the alert hours ago of your ship's 'landing.'"

"Just arrived, sir," Cody said. "Something went wrong with the ship's navigational procedures, but I've made it to Blood Gulch. Looks quiet in the canyon for now. I'll investigate and let you know what I find."

"Lieutenant Cody."

"Yes?"

"Please spare no detail in your reports- and remember this is a reconnaissance mission, no matter what you find. You go, you search, you come back. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you. We look forward to hearing from you soon."

With a signifying beep, the line went dead. Cody exited from behind the boulder and, by use of a grappling hook, began the descent into the canyon. Her magenta armor stood out against the sun-kissed bronze cliffs, but she hoped she'd at least make it-

An explosion shook the cliffs and her grappling hook dislodged.

"Fuck!"

Cody fell the last twenty feet to the path that hugged the cliffs and landed on her back, the wind knocked out of her. She had never been so thankful for the clunky exo-suit the UNSC provided.

As she regained her breath and the shock began to wear off, Cody sat up, rubbing her back with an idle hand. Then her eyes fell on cyan- turquoise? Aqua? What fucking color is that?- boots.

She looked up, following the boots to a visor and the glare of a plasma sword.

"And just who, the fuck, are you?"

Cody scrambled to her feet, one hand going to her holster. "I'm asking the questions."

The guy actually laughed. "Yeah, okay. You and what fucking army? I can say that this time, because I know you don't have one."

"Yeah, well, no one was supposed to be here any-fucking-way," Cody snapped. "This outpost is supposed to be deserted. So unless you're a fucking ghost, I don't need you to be here."

"Woo, feisty. When you say 'fucking' ghost, is that, like, a necrophilia thing? I could be a ghost for you."

Cody stared blankly for a minute. "What?"

"Bow-chicka-bow-wow."

"Tucker!" A voice from the canyon called Cody's attention to the guy in black armor, who still stood next to the crash-landed banshee. "What'd you find out?"

"She's into necrophilia!" Cyan/aqua/turquoise guy- Tucker- called back. Cody rolled her eyes, and turned to the guy in black.

"I'm Lieutenant Cody from the UNSC! I'm here to investigate claims of activity in this canyon! It's supposed to be deserted!"

"And I'm Caboose!" yelled the blue guy, causing the guy in black to send him a sharp elbow.

Cody turned back to Tucker. "Wanna introduce me to your friends or is hospitality too fucking much to expect?"

"We don't make a habit of being extra polite to invaders," Tucker said. "But I guess I could make an exception for you."

Cody started down the path. "I'll take care of it on my own."

"Suit yourself!"

Tucker followed as Cody trotted down the cliff path and into the canyon base. She reached the group and went immediately to the one in purple. "Frank!"

He didn't say anything, and then seemed to recognize her. "Anneliese?"

"Yeah!" She greeted him, laughing lightly. "Been a while, huh?"

The one in black glanced between them. "Wait, you two know each other?"

"Enough pillow-talk!" The standard-issue red one shouted. "What's the UNSC doin' investigating Blood Gulch?"

Cody turned to him, but before she could reply, the maroon one said, "Sarge, she just told us on the cliffs. Blood Gulch is supposed to be deserted and she's finding out why we're here."

"No, actually," Cody said. "Close, but no. I'm supposed to be finding out what's here. We got reports of activity in the canyon from two weeks ago; you just got back, correct?"

"Correctamundo!" Sarge said. He peered around suspiciously, aiming his shotgun at shadows. "So what's been waitin' here for us?"

"Oh, come on," the orange one said. "You know it's probably just Kaikanna and her raves."

Cody turned her attention to the orange guy. "Kaikanna?"

"My sister."

Confusion wrinkled Cody's brow behind her visor. "And she… Throws raves…?"

"Oh, yeah, every weekend at least," the maroon one said. "We try not to be here for most of them, because it disturbs Grif."

"Speak for yourselves," Tucker said. "Blue Team is all about some raves!"

"Please don't judge Blue Team by what Tucker says," the one in black said, sighing. "I'm Agent Washington, formerly of Project Freelancer. You said there's been activity in this canyon?"

Cody felt a wash of relief. This one, at least, seemed to have some sense. "Yes- unusual reports about computer databases sending out signals. Not calls for help- more like radar scanning and system hacking. Failures to get behind firewalls, that sort of thing."

"Yeah, that's more Simmons' kind o' thing," Sarge spoke up. "All that techni-calcical kind o' junk. He's good at that."

"Well, Sarge, that's not wrong," the maroon one said with a hint of pride.

"'Course it's not!" Sarge said. "Am I ever wrong?"

The orange one, presumably Grif, jumped at that, "Well, there was that one time-"

"No! I am never wrong! I am your superior!"

Cody turned Agent Washington. "Can we talk in private?"

The cyan/aqua/turquoise one again: "Bow-chicka-bow-wow!"

Cody sighed. This was going to be a longer mission than she'd expected.

~O~

As it turned out, the turquoise one was also a former Freelancer, Agent Carolina. Cody brought the two Freelancers and the maroon one, Simmons, who was supposed to be good with computers. They settled in a quiet room in Blue Base, while the rest of the teams dispersed in the canyon. Cody really wanted to talk to Frank, but it seemed it would have to wait.

"So," Cody said, "Based on my ship's navigational procedure being compromised, I have reason to believe the root of the malicious activity is here. Did your ship undergo a similar experience?"

"No," Washington said with a sigh. "That was just Donut displaying his ability to fly."

"Right- and Donut's the pink one?"

"Right."

"Your pilot?"

"No."

"But he was… Flying the banshee…?"

"Right."

Cody decided it was better not to question it. In the short time she'd been speaking to the two Blood Gulch teams, she'd learned a lot more about their personalities than she thought she needed to know. She nodded once. "Okay. So, my next question: why are you back at Blood Gulch?"

"It's kind of a home-base for the teams," Washington answered. "Before Carolina and I got here, it was Tucker, Grif, Simmons, Sarge, and this guy Church. He's a long story for another time. Then they got the rookies, Caboose and Donut. Then Doc came along, and-"

"Doc? You mean Private First Class DuFresne?"

"Yeah, we just call him Doc. Anyway. Then another Freelancer, Agent Texas, got here, and over time, we all kind of got here. And left. There were all these things that kept coming up to take us out of the canyon. But Grif's sister was always here, and Doc stayed here a lot, and it's where everything started, so it just… Made sense to come back here. We left this time to visit Chorus; they had some kind of medal ceremony and Kimball wanted to 'honor' us. Caboose brought Freckles, Freckles misfired into the crowd, Sarge gave a twenty-one-shot salute to the air, Grif stole the entire supply of burritos, and, well… We decided it was better we didn't linger."

"Uh-huh." Cody processed this. Freckles? "So, you're back at Blood Gulch because it's kind of a home base, and you just got back from Chorus. When did you leave to Chorus?"

"About a month ago."

"Did Grif's sister come with you?"

"No, she was here."

Cody's mind ran back over the details from the mission file. "But the activity we registered came from beneath the canyon, not either particular base- and I don't think Kaikanna was crafting malicious software alongside her raves."

"No," Simmons agreed, "I mentioned the word download to her once and she thought it was a, erm, position."

"Gotcha," Cody said. "That means I have to find the source of the activity, and I've got to do so before Command finds out you're here."

Carolina looked up at that. "Why is that?"

"Because if they know you're here, they'll blame you, and say you were the ones responsible from the start. You guys have done a lot of good, but it's been peppered with a lot of bad-"

"Oh, come on, like what?" Washington said. Cody raised an eyebrow, unseen.

"Like mass destruction of property, sketchy reports of how you defeated the Meta or supposedly didn't, need I go on…?"

"Yes, you do need to go on, we're fucking heroes," came another voice. Cody sighed as she recognized it as Tucker's.

She turned to him. "Be that as it may, you've still caused a lot of damage. I'm not your enemy here. I'm trying to find the real culprit before UNSC even has a chance to suspect you. Work with me or against me, but that's my job."

"What kind of soldier are you?"

Cody turned to Carolina. "What do you mean?"

Carolina leaned forward. "Do you get the job done at all costs, or do you back out if the sacrifice is too much?"

"Any cost to myself, I'll make," Cody said. "Someone else's sacrifice isn't mine to claim."

Carolina sat back, arms folded, and turned to Washington. "I think she sounds decent."

Washington looked over at Carolina. "You only think that because you don't see her as competition."

Carolina shrugged. "At least I'm not trying to kill her."

Washington sighed, and turned back to Cody. "Well. You're welcome to stay at our base. You've met Tucker, Caboose, and Carolina; the one in yellow is Grif's sister Kaikanna. You'll see her around. And upside down. And- anyway. If you have any questions, let us know."

"There," Tucker said, "Is your fucking hospitality you were bitching out."

Cody turned to Tucker. "Well thank you very much, didn't know you needed Washington to speak for you."

"He's kind of the responsible mature one," Carolina said.

"Then what are you?"

"The competitive ass-kicking one that everyone's scared of."

Simmons and Tucker nodded. "That about sums it up."

Cody blew out a breath. "Okay. Thank you, Agent Washington, for the offer; my ship is a few miles west of here, so I'm probably going to take you up on it. For now, I need to speak with 'Doc.' Anyone know where he is?"

"Eh, probably in the caves," Tucker said.

"Why?"

Simmons shrugged. "It's just where he lives most of the time."

"He doesn't stay at a base?"

"He's not red or blue," Carolina said.

"Kaikanna's fucking yellow," Cody said. "That's another primary color."

"Yeah, but Command said she's blue," Simmons said.

"That doesn't-" Cody cut off, sighing and pressing her glove to her visor. She looked up again. "Okay. Well, thank you, I'll be back in a bit."

She headed out, leaving the meeting. She had some good intel- there were caves in the canyon, and the only known individual in it during the time of activity probably couldn't even operate a computer. She wondered what exactly Freckles was, but she didn't want to question it. Not yet.

The canyon sloped in front of her, fading to periwinkle in gathering dusk, and Cody headed back up the path on the cliffs, entering a compact cave system. She found where Frank had been camping, but didn't find him near the cot and packs of supplies. She scoped the rest of the caves, crossed the canyon, ran through those caves. Stopped by Red Base, where Donut, the pink one, said he hadn't seen Doc since they parted ways after leaving the banshee. Donut seemed to think Doc had gone back to the caves.

Worry prickled to concern as Cody returned to the other side of the canyon, back to the blue base. Exo-suits had been discarded, but it seemed colors were continuous, making Blue Team still recognizable.

"Find him?" Washington asked as Cody entered. She shook her head and sighed.

"No- not in the caves, or anywhere in the canyon. Tell me, does he have any history with computers?"

"Just an angry AI that implanted itself into his head," Carolina said, green eyes flashing with memories. Cody nodded.

"And has he done anything malevolent recently?"

They glanced at each other, and then Tucker answered, "He wasn't exactly on our side against the Blues and Reds, but that was… Kinda warranted. We didn't even know his first name for a long time. Just called him Doc."

Cody nodded and took off her helmet, setting it on an end table. She sighed and sat down in one of Blue Team's numerous folding chairs sat around the base. "I think he's gone missing."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Carolina said. "He just kind of does that."

"Yeah, but we never look for him," Tucker said. "That was one of the points he made. He's been through a lot of shit, and we just never gave a shit."

Cody's chest twinged at the words. Poor Frank. "We should conduct a search party tomorrow. Aren't the caves underneath the canyon as well?"

"Yeah, but no one goes in them anymore," Washington said. "They're not the safest place."

"He might be down there. Who's up for a search party?"

Blue Team glanced at each other, not exactly volunteering. Cody huffed and planted a hand on her hip. "I said, who's up for a search party? Come on, you were just talking about never doing anything for him. This is your chance to make it up."

"I'll go."

Cody glanced over, surprised. "Really?"

Tucker nodded. "Yeah. Who else is coming? Come on, you fucks, volunteer."

"I'll go!" Caboose said, entering the room with, presumably, Kaikanna just behind him. He had a tray in his hands. "And look! I baked cookies! No one can stand a chance against cookies."

The circular black bricks on the tray didn't look like any cookies Cody would want to eat, but Caboose volunteering was worth it.

"I'll come, too," Carolina sighed. Washington appeared surprised, eyebrows lifting.

"Really?"

Carolina met his eyes. "Someone has to make sure they don't die." She glanced at Cody. "No offense."

"None taken. I was always better with the intelligence part of things than combat."

Carolina grinned. "Good. That makes even less of a chance for us to be rivals."

Cody grinned back, and then glanced around. "So- Carolina, Caboose, and Tucker, we'll leave at dawn and go to the caves to search for Doc. Agreed?"

Tucker groaned. "Does it have to be dawn? I just went through a traumatic ship-wreck earlier this day, my neck hurts, I want to sleep in…"

"Oh, shut the fuck up, you whiny bitch," Cody said. Tucker's grin surprised her.

"I like her," Washington said. "And I'll stay here with Kaikanna to keep an eye on the base. You know, in case the reds… Do… Something."

"Right," Tucker said. "Those dangerous fucking reds, the awful bastards. Agent Washington will keep us all safe from their wily ways."

"You know it," Washington said, taking a hard bite into one of Caboose's cookies, which crumbled and cracked.

"Is it good?" Caboose asked, and Washington's face screwed up before he forced himself to swallow.

"Mhm," he said painfully, coughing lightly. "Delicious."

"Yay!" Caboose cheered. "We shall feed them to the enemy! And it will be delicious! And then the enemy will have to be our friend!"

Cody sighed, grinning nonetheless.

Oh, yeah- this was going to be a long mission.

a/n: hiya~ this is going to be a fic taking place after season 15, centered around an old friend of doc. it might not be strictly accurate, and when season 16 comes out, it might be entirely wrong, but as of season 15 here we are. so this is a while after the blues and reds staged their attack on earth, when the reds and blues have been running on their own for a while, somewhat back in retirement or at least not immediately pressed to do anything. hope you enjoy! don't forget to review!