Before we begin I would like to give a quick shout out to my friend, Beans aka Stabberz. Who won the bet he and I had and as his prize, this one-shot is dedicated to him. So, I hope you enjoy, Beans~
Brooding. By definition it means that one is caught somewhere between sulking and being deep in thought, it was the probably one of the few terms, if not the only one, know to either Shinigami or man that could describe Soifon, Captain of the Second Division, at that moment in time. The petite, black haired women was perched atop a large piece of rubble in what remained of the replica of Karakura Town. The war was finally over; Aizen had been defeated.
Now, without a task or some sort of goal to occupy herself with, Soifon was left to stare out at the sunrise. Her grey eyes narrowed, glaring at nothing in particular, just something, anything would do really. Despite the illusion of appearing angry, she wasn't. She just didn't know what to do with herself. It frustrated her. Her left arm was gone, now but a mere stump, numerous other injuries plagued her body, yet she couldn't find it in herself to feel any pain -any weakness- she was use to it after all. It was part of who she was these days.
Soifon doubted the Gotei Thirteen would allow a women with a single arm to continue to serve as Captain. She'd be lucky if they allowed a one armed women to continue to serve, full stop. But, in retrospect, she was lucky to still be alive, from what she had heard, the Captain-Commander was dead, as were the Vice-Captains of Fifth and Seventh, their names having escaped her. Hitsugaya Tõshirõ and Ukitake Jûshirõ were also in critical condition, the former having lost his own left arm and a good chunk of his left leg to Aizen himself, whilst the latter had been punched through the chest by one of the Arrancar. One of the Visored fighters, the small angry girl, who'd been cut in half by Ichimaru Gin, was also barely alive. She was currently unaware of the traitor's fate.
But, despite herself, she couldn't help but wonder if everything would be better in the end if she were in fact dead. But she shrugged it off, she wasn't that kind of person. She never had been.
Everything's a complete mess… she sighed, staring out at the pale oranges, her piece of rubble being surprisingly more comfortable than what she would have thought. What do I do now…? My entire life has about be dedicating my life to serve something; Soul Society, the Gotei Thirteen, Yoruichi-sama…
"You know," a slightly mocking voice sang from not to far away. "Of all the places I expected to find you, I wouldn't have thought it'd be sitting among the rubble," a soft chuckle echoed from her right. Her brow furrowed on reaction, her one remaining fist clenching tight enough to draw blood. But with a forced breath of calm, she returned the barb in a level voice.
"I thought it was ironic," she muttered not taking her eyes off the sky, ignoring the man as he sat down on the ground next to her. "What better way to reflect on the destruction of my own life than to muse on a deserted battlefield."
"Come now, Soifon-san, why so glum?" The women in question turned her head to glare at the platinum blond on her right, repressing a snarl. The man annoyed her to no end, form his flamboyant, carefree manner all the way down to the tiniest little details; like his unshaved, stubble covered chin. But despite the jovial tone in his voice, his goofy bucket hat and fan appeared to be absent for once.
"What do you want, Urahara Kisuke," Soifon spat out the mans names as though it was some piece of rancid food someone has forced down her throat, attempting to choke her. If she could, she would have folded her arms in defiance of the man and turned away, eyes barely even slits. But as things stood, she could but only turn away from him.
"Me? What do I want~?" And just like that he whipped out his famous fan, holding in front of his face, a thoughtful look having be conjured from nowhere. The pair sat in heavy silence as Urahara thought about an answer which he could give the Captain of the Second Division, his eyes fixed on the short women, peeking over the edge of his plain-old-fan.
"I want many things," he chimed in eventually, causing Soifon to snort in disgust. Can this man ever act serious? People are dead after all, can he not take the time to mourn them? But was she really any better, a voice in her head asked her. A few moment ago she'd been more concerned about what would happen to her more than the loss of life. "I'd like to be able to return to my little shop and go back to business as usual, I'd like to be able to see Jinta and Ururu grow up and become the fine young people I know they'll be. But most of all, I'd like to hold the women that means more than life itself in my arms and tell her how much I love her. But I can't do any of that, not yet anyway."
Despite being mostly hidden, behind his fan, Urahara never failed to catch Soifon clench her fist once more. She was never stupid, far from it, she knew quite well who he was referring. Shihõin Yoruichi, she was the one thing that pair of them had ever had in common.
"And why not?" The Second Division Captain demanded of the Captain-turned-shop-keeper. But despite her question, she had no desires for this conversation to go any further. A point she felt she had to make clear; "Actually, I don't care. So I think you should save yourself a few broken bones and everyone some trouble and just leave, now."
"I'm afraid I can't do that, Soifon-san," she rolled her eyes at his comment. Of course he wouldn't go away that easily, he's like a damn disease after all. "Not until you answer my question," Soifon turned to look at him, her expression bored, there was no possible question that he could have come up with that she would give him a real answer for. "Why do you hate me, Soifon-san?"
Or maybe there was.
"Why ask questions to the which you already have the answers to, Urahara?" Her own question gained a laugh from the shop-keeper, a wiry grin on his face. She had no idea why her words had amused him, but Soifon assumed it had something to do with her answer. It did sound something more like her companion would say, the wannabe-wise-old-sage line.
"It's just that with the war over, and Yoruichi and myself pardoned, there's a good chance we could be seeing much more of each other," What does that have to do with anything? "And I would like it if we could at least be civil with one another. If not for our sake, then Yoruichi's. She would very much like to be your friend again."
Silence fallowed his statement. It was heavy, like a tone of lead being pushed down on them which they had to work together as a team in order to avoid being crushed by. It just didn't look like one of them was very fond of that idea in the least. After a while Urahara released a exaggerated sigh.
"I never asked her to fallow me, you know?" Soifon turned to look at the blond, a puzzled look having captured her features like a high level Bakudõ. What the hell does he mean by that? "It was Yoruichi's choice to go into exile with me, I never wanted her to come. Without even releasing it until it was to late, I pretty much destroyed her entire life. And not just hers, either."
That was her queue to let it all out.
"You took her away from me!" Soifon spat back, what kind of petty excuses was that? "The one person I had left. That's what Yoruichi was! The one person who ever believed in me, encouraged me to be better, stood by me. She was the only family I had damn it! She was like my mother and you took her away from me!"
"Not by choice," Urahara stated, he looked genuinely saddened by the whole conversation. It was almost as if he was remembering things he'd rather not, but that was part of the price of living for so long; it was hard to forget. "I never told Yoruichi, but she ended up making me hate myself for a very long time. And not for the first time either, but that's an other story."
Say what now?
"For years, I had to live with the fact that that if I had made some kind of objection, had I made an effort to talk some sense into her, she never would have had to give up everything she had. Just for me." To her genuine horror, Urahara Kisuke actually looked guilty, maybe he had know how much his actions, or lack of, had affected so many others. "And deep down, I knew a lot of people would be affected by my lack of action, but I can't control what is in my heart, nor can I control what is in hers."
"And you think that makes everything all better now, do you?" Soifon demanded of the now silent Shinigami, who's eyes would not look at her, instead they were fixed on an spot on the ground. She couldn't help but fix him with a look of disgust. "You honestly believe apologizing and telling me all this will make it all better? You're pathetic, Urahara."
"No," he muttered after a moments pause. Before he looked up, turning to look her in the eye. "I'm telling you this so you understand why Yoruichi left you behind." Soifon couldn't help it, her eyes widened at the statement. Is he being serious here? "Take it from someone who knows, Soifon-san. Living with yourself, learning to deal with the shame of ruining the life of someone you care about, trying to look at yourself in the mirror, it kills you from the inside out.
"Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me you would have been glad Yoruichi took you with her, if it meant putting her through all that?" Urahara's tone was unusually low, serious even. His grey eyes hard and unblinking. His question catching the small women completely off guard.
"I…" Soifon couldn't do it, her voice had abandoned her. Leaving her with not but a heavy lump of lead in her throat, it made her feel sick. It made her feel dirty. Urahara's gaze however had softened, a wistful smile gracing his lips that he would use when comforting the likes of Ururu or watching Hiyori as she beat Shinji senseless for whatever reason.
The shop-keeper rose to his feet, brushing off his ruined clothing, slipping his fan back into its hiding place up his sleeve. He gave Soifon a soft, reassuring pat on the shoulder, which she shrugged off; "It's alright, Soifon-san," he told her, making to leave. "I honestly didn't expect you to give me a real answer. Not yet, anyway."
"Why… why are you telling me this, Urahara?" She croaked out, unable to manage anything else. The blond looked back over his shoulder and simply gave her an over cheesy grin.
"Food for thought, is all, Soifon-san," and with that, Urahara Kisuke was gone.
Tha-tha-that's all folks! Hope you enjoyed the little bout of randomness which is this one-shot, what inspired me to write this? Even I don't know that one. Feed back of all kind is most welcome, I'll take what I can get as I ain't picky. Keep an eye on this if enjoyed the one-shot as I plan on doing a few more one-shots in the future. Until then, Dobby-san bids you all farewell~