Artemis:
There! Right there!
Look at that tanned, tinted skin
Look at the killer shape he's in
Look at that slightly stubbly chin
Oh, please, he's gay
Totally gay!
Red Arrow:
I'm not about to celebrate
Every trait could indicate
A totally straight expatriate
That guy's not gay
I say not gay
All:
That is the elephant in the room
Well, is it relevant to assume
That a man who wears perfume
Is automatically, radically fey?
Aqualad:
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks
Artemis:
Look at his silk translucent socks
Red Arrow:
There's the eternal paradox
Look what we're seein'
Artemis:
What are we seein'?
Red Arrow:
Is he gay?
Artemis:
Of course, he's gay!
Red Arrow:
Or European?
All:
Ohhhhh
*pause*
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?
Conner:
Well, hey don't look at me!
M'gann:
You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.
All:
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
Gay or foreign Artemis?
The answer could take weeks.
They will say things like "Buna frumoaso"
while they kiss you on both cheeks.
Artemis:
Oh please.
All:
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.
Superboy:
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.
All:
Is he gay or European?
or
Black Canary :
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro hetero jerk.
That guy's not gay, I say no way.
All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume
Artemis:
Is automatically-radically
Red Arrow:
Ironically chronically
M'gann:
Certainly pertin'tly
Superboy:
Genetically medically
All:
GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY
DAMNIT!
Gay or European?
Red Arrow
So stylish and relaxed.
All:
Is he gay or European?
Red Arrow
I think his chest is waxed.
M'gann:
But they bring their boys up different there.
It's culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse.
All:
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code.
Artemis:
Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed.
All:
Huh.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.
Judge:
But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday.
All:
Is he gay or European?
gay or European?
Gay or Euro-
Aqualad:
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
I have an idea I'd like to try.
Red Arrow:
The floor is yours.
Aqualad:
So Mr. Robin...
This alleged affair with Ms. Zatara has been going on for...?
Robin:
2 years.
Aqualad:
And your first name again is...?
Robin:
Robin.
Aqualad:
And your boyfriend's name is...?
Robin:
Kid Flash.
I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say, boyfriend.
I thought you say best friend. Kid Flash is my best friend.
Kid Flash:
You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it.
I no cover for you, no more!
Peoples.
I have a big announcement.
This man is Gay and European!
you've got to stop your being
a completely closet case.
No matter what he say.
I swear he never ever ever swing the other way.
You are so gay.
You big parfait!
You flaming boy band cabaret.
Robin:
I'm straight!
Kid Flash:
You were not yesterday.
So if I may, I'm proud to say,
He's gay!
All:
And European!
Kid Flash:
He's gay!
All:
And European!
Kid Flash:
He's gay!
All:
And European and Gay!
Robin:
Fine okay, I'm gay!
All:
Hooray!
"There! Sent to the Justice League's meeting video!"