Muggle Things

Disclaimer: No, not at all. I don't own.

A/N - Written for a drabble prompt challenge (couple shop for an item, "What are you supposed to do with this?") and originally posted on tumblr. I was given the choice of either Remus/James or Regulus/James. I chose Regulus/James because I've never written Regulus before. And here we have the result! Enjoy! :)


"Oh for Salazar's sake, James, just pick a place, would you?" Regulus sighed, a headache beginning to build behind his eyes. He was sitting in the passenger seat of the clunky old car James had called 'a bargain' when he'd picked it up, and they were running late. The party had started an hour ago.

Regulus hated being late.

"But it has to be the perfect place, Reg!"

"No it bloody doesn't, Arthur will love whatever we get him," Regulus grumbled, folding his arms. "You know he's just happy to have his family and friends around him- sweet Merlin, James!"

"Yes?" the infuriating bastard said entirely too innocently as he threw them into an abrupt left turn, making horns blare and nearly causing a pileup. He grinned when his husband sighed again and rubbed his temple. "Sorry, but look! This is what we need!"

"Here? Really?"

"Yes! It's exactly where we need to go!"

Looking dubious, Regulus climbed out of the car after James had parked and peered up at the very large building, the sign declaring it Hammond's Hardware displayed right above the entrance. Regulus had never been in a hardware store before. He wasn't even sure he knew what hardware was.

Not that he was going to admit that to James, of course.

"And Arthur will like something from here?"

"Yeah, he'll love anything from here!" James said happily. Taking Regulus's hand, he towed his reluctant wizard toward the store. "Trust me, his shed is full of this kind of stuff! He can't get enough of it!"

"Then why are we buying him more?" Regulus asked, frowning when James waved his hand in dismissal and dragged him through the door. He stopped the instant they were over the threshold, Regulus bumping into him, the impact only making his headache worse. "Bloody hell, Jamie. A little warning?"

"Look!" James hissed, abruptly switching gears and moving again, marching over to a display of long tables, about a hundred different absurdly odd looking items stacked to supposedly display them to their best advantage. Picking up something made out of material, he waved it in Regulus's face. "Let's get him this!"

"Do you even know what it is?" Regulus asked, amused despite himself. He smirked when James frowned and looked down at the item in his hands. "Didn't think so. We should really get him something that he won't have to explain to us how to use, don't you agree?"

James sighed and put the material-thing down with a pout. "Yeah, okay," he said, looking deflated and put out and extremely cute. He looked up when a hand appeared in his vision and gently pushed his slipping glasses back up his nose. "I just wanna get him the perfect birthday present, is all. He and Molly have been so good to us. But finding something we know how to use is going to take a while, isn't it? How late are we already?"

"Late enough not to care," Regulus said airly after a moment of studying his husband's face, taking James's hand again and leading him further into the store. "Come on. We've a present to find."

Two very distracted hours later, a very excited James and his half-horrified, half-amused husband apparated into the Weasleys' backyard. It had been an experience, shopping in a muggle hardware store. Regulus was sure they'd caused a lot of strife for the store's employees, not to mention frightened the other customers - especially when Regulus had picked up a long something made from smooth, buttery leather and glided his fingers along it, asking his husband in a low, very pointed voice, "what are you supposed to do with this, then?" James's mouth had dropped open and his eyes had glazed over, and he'd stepped walked right into a large, upright display of plastic things, making them topple everywhere with a loud crash.

Regulus couldn't remember the last time he'd had so much fun.

"Headache gone?"

Turning to look at James, Regulus's pitched a brow. "You noticed?"

James scoffed as they headed towards the house. "You thought I wouldn't?"

"No. No, I guess not," Regulus murmured. James grinned and wrapped his arm around Regulus's waist. Regulus rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, you prat, it's gone."

"Good," his husband nodded. "That was the aim. Now, let's go give Arthur his present."

A shocking warmth he still wasn't used to blooming savagely in his chest, Regulus tightened his fist around their present - a hammer, James had called it when they'd finally found something they'd recognized - and subtly pressed closer to the man he loved. The man who'd saved his brother first, making Regulus love him just for that.

And then, with Sirius's help, he'd set about saving him.

"Yes, let's. We're already late enough, thanks to you."

"Oi! You said it didn't matter!" James protested, pulling open the door and ushering Regulus inside. Regulus threw a smirk back over his shoulder.

"I lied."