Gregor pressed his head against the screen door. It seemed as if he had been doing a lot of this lately, sitting motionless, and staring into space, dreaming of what could have been.
Ares.
Luxa.
Ripred.
The names floated in and out of his mind. They seemed to do that a lot lately as well. It was as if they wanted him to come back, but he knew he couldn't. What would his parents do? And what would Boots and Lizzie think if he went without them? Not very highly of him. That was as clear as day.
Gregor fought back the stinging sensation in the back of his eyes. He couldn't cry now, not with his parents in the house, they would know what he was thinking about. And they would try harder to get out of New York faster. Gregor didn't want that. Neither did his dad. They both had friends in the Underland. Gregor's father had slipped a crowbar under Gregor's bed and told him "Just in case,"
Those three words were the only thing that was keeping Gregor sane during these times. He thought to himself over and over – Just in case, just in case, just in case. There was a deep foreboding in the pit of his stomach that his relationship with the Underland wasn't over yet. It was then, that Gregor wondered what Luxa was doing now, without him there. And Ripred too. Maybe they were stopping war throughout the Underland. Maybe war had stopped completely. But that was unlikely. The Underlanders had a knack for war, and six months wouldn't have been long enough for peace too spread to every corner of the Underland like Vikus dreamed.
A gentle tap on his shoulder had Gregor crashing back to reality at a deadly speed. Like when he had leapt. And Are's had saved him. Ares…
"Gregor, we go see Temp? Go ride fast?" Boots asked, tipping her head to the side. She had asked this every day since they had come back up from that passage in Central Park.
"Not today, baby, not today." Gregor said softly.
"We see Temp yesterday?" Boots said. She came and sat next to him, and pressed her forehead against the screen door too. It was beginning to become hot out again. And school had only been out for a day.
"Not now," Gregor said again. Not ever, Gregor added to himself. Still, there was that place in the pit of his stomach that screamed at him that he was lying to himself. It was then that a horribly ironic thing took place, and a cockroach scampered across Gregor's foot. Boots squealed with glee, and chased after it.
"Boots, no!" Gregor caught Boots just as the cockroach disappeared under the wall, and she almost slammed into it. "No Boots, not now," Gregor set Boots on the ground. Her lower lip began to tremble. But he couldn't do anything about it at the moment. He didn't want to see his family suffer, not anymore.
It was Saturday, so Gregor had to go work for Mrs. Cormaci. And he arrived there about 11 o'clock. He didn't really want to go, but his family needed the money. When Mrs. Cormaci saw the dark expression on his face, she knew instantly what was on his mind. She didn't bring it up though. He thought that it was for the best, he didn't want to think of all the amazing friends that he would never see again.
Gregor ran the errands that he was given, and then it was lunchtime. They ate without much talk. Of course, pasta wasn't really a meal that made you want to talk about much. But finally, when the tension was too much, Gregor broke the silence.
"Mrs. Cormaci? What do you think that they are doing right now?" Gregor was relieved to get it off his chest.
"Surviving, Gregor. Surviving without such a wonderful boy down there with them," Mrs. Cormaci said truthfully. Gregor smiled, he was glad that someone understood at least a little bit what he was going through.
"I'll never be able to go back, will I?" Gregor asked, fearing that he already knew the answer.
"You never know Gregor, there is no promise that the Underland will not come looking for you," Mrs. Cormaci smiled. "You're too caught up in it to leave now."
Gregor couldn't help but grin like an idiot. "Thank you, thank you so much," he said.
The rest of their day was spent mostly in silence