I'm Sorry…

Chapter 1 Goodbye Peeta

"This is goodbye, Peeta", I sniff, wiping at the tears that are pricking at the corner of my eyes, with the back of my hand. I had been determined not to cry but the floodgates have somehow opened up putting my raw emotions on display, making me look vulnerable.

"Katniss, no! Please sweetheart. Let me make this right. I'm so so so sorry. Just…please", he begs, a little sob escaping him, his last word barely a whisper but I catch it. I can't believe it. I have never seen Peeta cry even in the most difficult of situations.

"No, Peeta. I can't. I have been hurt enough. I don't want to go through that again. I gave you my heart and you stomped all over it. How could you do that? You were my everything, Peeta. We were so happy! But you had to ruin that by sleeping with Glimmer. Glimmer of all women! I really thought she was my friend. No, I don't think I can give you another chance. This is over, okay?", I tell him with as much control in my voice as I can muster but it is undermined by my pathetic attempts at wiping away the tears that are freely streaming down my cheeks now. I'm sure I look like crap at the moment, with red rimmed eyes, tear stained cheeks, and ruined mascara.

"Katniss, I love-", he begins but I cut him off before he can go any further.

" No, Peeta. Please don't tell me you love me. I can't handle it. If you did you wouldn't have cheated in the first place and we wouldn't be having this conversation right now!", I snap at him, wiping angrily at the tears that refuse to stop. My vision has become blurry.

"Katniss, please listen to me", he pleads taking a step closer to me, with his hand outstretched, reaching out for me. I immediately back away from him and he looks even more hurt. But I couldn't care any less. He deserves it.

"Katniss, I love you so much, more than you will ever know. I know I can't apologise enough but I will be forever sorry. You don't know how much I regret that. I was drunk and I don't know what came over me and I…Please baby, give me one more chance and I promise, I'll spend my whole life making it up to you. I can't live without you, Kat. I need you in my life, you make me a better person. Please..", he sobbed harder, kneeling down in front of me and gently taking both of my hands in his own. Of course I let him. Despite everything, I still love him with all my heart and soul. But I just can't find it in me to forgive him, not after what he did. He intertwines our fingers together and squeezes my hands, tightly. It comforts me even now. But I have to leave, I can't be with him anymore without being reminded of his betrayal.

As I try to extract my hands from his, he tightens his hold on them and looks up into my eyes. His handsome face is blotchy, his beautiful eyes which I could spend hours gazing into and still not get tired, are red rimmed from crying. Yet, I can see a myriad of emotions swirling in those blue orbs. Desperation, love, and hurt being the most significant.

I know he is sorry. I can see that he is suffering as much as I am. But I can't do this. I can't go through the heartache he put me through, again. Right now, I want nothing more than to fall into his arms and let him hold me. I want to tell him that we'll get through this, that it will be okay. He looks like he is in so much pain. But I can't. Maybe, someday I will forgive him. Maybe, one day I will be able to look at him without being flooded by the feelings of hurt, betrayal, and insecurities. Not today, though.

Using every ounce of strength I have, I get up and turn towards the door to leave. He is on his feet in an instant, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing his damp face to my neck.

"Please don't. I love you so much. Please stay. I know it's hard for you to trust me again but please give me a chance. Please Katniss…", Peeta whispers against my neck, a desperate plea in his voice. I have never seen him like this. So…broken. It's enough to almost make me change my mind. Almost.

"I'm sorry, Peeta. I love you too but this is it. It's over. I really hope you find someone who gives you everything I can't. Be happy. Take care of yourself. Goodbye, Peeta."

I gently pull away from him even though it pains me to do so. Leaning up, I give him a small peck on the cheek and commit every feature of his face to memory as if I hadn't already.

With that I start towards the door and walk out, forcing myself not to look back. I'm pretty sure I hear him fall on to his knees on the floor with a thud.

I swiftly drive home, change into a pair of sweats and an old T-shirt and collapse on to the bed before breaking down, crying and letting myself succumb to my sadness.

Author's note: Hey, whoever is reading this. I just want to say thank u so so much for reading it. This is my first ever fanfiction, so please please please review and tell me how it was. Be honest in your reviews and tell what I can do to improve. And please also tell me if you would like for me to continue this story. If even a few people tell me they would like to read more of it, I will continue it and will update as soon as I can. Again, thank you. Hugs