Yeah, I know, it's a plot bunny but I wanted to try my hand at it. I'm going for a sarcastic but more serious vibe with this thing. None of that the soldiers are now the teachers thing. That never made much sense to me. Funny, but not the most realistic thing in the world. So, yeah, let me know what you think of this.

Disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider.

The Monday from Hell

Alex Rider will die. No one is safe.

The death threat, while perhaps understandable, still came as shock. The fourteen-year-old super spy had his fair share of enemies. Ruthless and unforgiving enemies. Still, Blunt had not expected this.

He supposed he should have considered its probability before now but in all honesty, it had never crossed his mind. A death threat against his top secret agent was hardly a new occurrence, but the last part of the rather extensive, unsigned letter, was a surprise. All of Brookland School was being targeted.

Every teacher and every student. It was the first time anyone had actually thought to target the boy's school. Add insult to injury and all that.

His first thought was that SCORPIA had returned to enact a revenge they had already been forced away from twice. But then he thought that while SCORPIA never forgot or forgave, they also didn't play with something they shouldn't. Rider was sensitive target at the moment and they knew better than to strike now. They would also have signed the note; their pride and arrogance would not have allowed them to leave it unmarked by their insignia.

He mentally ran through a list of the boy's enemies and came up with nothing. Most had already sent their threats and been either chased away from their dreams of revenge or terminated. The list was actually pretty small due to the fact that the boy's greatest enemies usually ended up dead by the end of his missions.

Blunt had wondered about the rather gruesome pattern. In the end he came to the conclusion that the boy was simply a bad luck charm to those who wished to watch the world burn. For him, it wasn't such a bad thing.

"Well?" Ms. Jones said her tone colored with impatience at having to wait through his mental processes and ramblings. "What do you plan to do?"

"I have no solid conclusion on who this might be," he said. "But as Alex is a highly sensitive state secret, one with many high powered enemies, we will treat it with the utmost caution."

"What do plan to do?" she repeated taking yet another peppermint from her pocket. It was a strange relaxation habit but it was one he preferred; the world would run out of tobacco if she took up smoking.

"If it was a threat just against Alex I would pull him out of school and send him to a safe house," he mused. "But the threat has been made against the entire school. There are far too many students and faculty to simply pull them out and place in safe houses."

"Your point?" Ms. Jones almost snapped. It was a habit of Blunt's to make his employees guess his plans instead of simply saying them. He said that it kept people on their toes but she just found it perpetually annoying.

"If we can't send them to safety, we will send safety to them," came the vague reply. Jones had a vague idea where this might be going. Sending in the army to guard the school sounded like a solid idea to her even with the media circus that would be sure to follow.

"Details," she practically demanded and Blunt felt his lip twitch at her impatience. He couldn't quite blame her. She'd grown some sort of attachment to the boy in the time he'd been 'working' for them. The two were hardly friends or even acquaintances but Blunt knew that if Rider died it would hit her hard. Too many bad memories. Blunt on the other hand, would hardly bat an eye. It would be…sad, if the boy died but hardly a crisis, unless he mid-mission of course. He was more concerned about what he would do the next time he needed an operative like Rider and couldn't find one. It was disconcerting at best.

"I believe it is time we called in that favor the SAS owes us," he said and she nodded. "Five units will do. And I believe K-Unit had returned from Iraq." She turned quickly and left to make the call to the top SAS commander.

Blunt turned his chair towards the window of his nondescript office and gazed at the skyline just beyond the building across the street. As his office was a corner one, he could angle his chair just right to get a rather impressive view of his city. It was dusk on Sunday and the city was just beginning to switch to its nightlife vibe. The clubs would open in a few hours, offices would close, and he would most likely still be working.

His mind drifted to the mental list of the boy's still living enemies. He still couldn't think of anyone in particular. But it was someone the boy had never even met or couldn't remember ever existing. A disgruntled, unnamed henchman? Someone close to someone the boy had put in jail? He decided to have the profilers three floor down compile a list of potential suspects. People who could possibly know the truth about the boy and would have a potential grudge. He wondered how big that list would be.

He thought about the threat again and made a mental note to have Smithers re-supply Rider with something he could use. Then his thoughts turned to how long it would take before the boy showed up in his office to demand another solution. He figured he'd hear from the boy one way or another by Monday afternoon.

Alex hated Mondays. Nothing good ever happened on Mondays. Tuesdays were okay but he preferred Thursdays. He liked Thursdays because people tended to be so caught up with the closeness of Friday that drama seemed to slow down. People were happy Friday was coming and overlooked things more than usual. He liked Thursdays.

On this particular Monday, he was reminded about his hatred of the day. Of the returning whispers and gossip. They were always present and while his lack of abrupt disappearances over the last few months had eased some rumors and tensions, not everyone was so willing to let things go. Zach Malloy was one of those people.

He and Alex had been rivals since the sandbox days, as Tom put it. There wasn't much of a reason and if there was he couldn't remember it, not anymore. With everything that had happened over the last year he was lucky to remember his locker combination, much less the reason for a feud that started when he was five.

Zach was an ass; there was no other to put it. He was also getting very, very close to making Alex's last nerve snap.

"C'mon, Rider," Malloy said in a mocking tone during first period Maths. Their teacher was running late and Malloy had gladly taken the chance to derail Alex in front of thirty of his classmates. "Even you aren't that fragile. Where have you been really? Jail?"

"Bet he was in rehab," said one of Malloy's lackeys.

"Naw, Rider's no druggie," Malloy said. "He's just all fucked up."

"Knock it off, Malloy," Tom snapped before throwing a look at Alex who was doodling in his notebook. Alex could practically feel Tom vibrating with anger and annoyance. Anger at Malloy and annoyance that Alex was just sitting there, seemingly not even listening. In Tom's mind this only gave credence to the latest rumor about Alex's whereabouts over the last year.

Apparently, he'd suffered a mental breakdown that kept going in and out of the psyche ward at St. Helen's. Alex rather liked this rumor. It had made him laugh the first time Tom had told him about it. He wondered it had started; probably Malloy just running mouth like usual, like now.

"Aww, you gonna defend him Harris," Malloy continued. "You know he's messed up."

"He's fine," Tom growled. While the growl gave Malloy a reason to hesitate in his verbal assault, it hardly sounded threatening to Alex. Then again, nothing these kids did would make him feel scared. On the verge of hysterics, sure, but scared? Fat chance.

"He's not even paying attention," Malloy said, finally noticing that Alex was ignoring him. "Rider!"

Alex looked up sharply, a look of innocence plastered on his features. "I'm sorry, did you say something?" he said. Malloy narrowed his eyes as the class stifled a collective giggle. Alex gave the other boy a grin just as the teacher opened the door looking highly frazzled and, to Alex's concern, frightened.

"Everybody up," Mr. Waller said. "There's an emergency assembly. Leave your things, just get to the auditorium." The students all rose at the same time sending concerned glances at one another and talking about what was happening.

As they made their way to the auditorium Alex and Tom had a whispered conversion that couldn't be heard over the roar of conversation of the other students in the corridor.

"What's going on?" Tom asked.

"I have no idea," Alex replied. When Tom raised his eyebrows Alex continued. "Seriously I don't."

"You don't think it might have something to do with your job?" Tom asked. Alex shook his head.

"I don't think so," he said. God, he hoped not.

As they entered through the double doors at the top of the auditorium Alex felt his heart stop momentarily. His eyes went wide and he gave an involuntary gasp. Quickly pushing down his complete and utter shock at the scene in front of him, he followed a confused looking Tom to some seats half down the steps.

Alex's eyes never strayed from the stage where the Headmaster was having what looked to be a hushed and heated conversation. The person he was conversing with? Well, that would be Wolf. Yes, Wolf from Brecon Beacons and Point Blanc. Wolf who, Alex was pretty sure, hated his guts, a mutual feeling. That Wolf was standing on the stage of his school. Alex was pretty sure he would have nightmares about this moment.

He quickly looked around the rest of room. He counted twenty-five soldiers, presumably all SAS. That meant that there were five SAS units in his school. What the hell was going on?

The room was filled with the students' excited babbling as they tried to guess what was going on. Tom was the only one who had any semblance of what was taking place and Alex wondered if the kid was a really good guesser or physic. Or maybe it was just obvious. 'Emergency' and 'Alex' were often in the same sentence.

Alex watched as the Headmaster stepped up to a microphone and asked for silence. It came immediately and the students seemed to be holding their breath.

"Good morning," he greeted. "As I'm sure you're wondering, we seem to have a very serious problem on our hands. A threat has been made against the school." At this Alex felt himself sink lower in his seat. "I have not been given the full details at this time but the threat is being taken seriously. These men are from the SAS and are here to make sure nothing happens while you are here. You will stay out of their way." The speech continued from there with a general list of 'dos' and 'don'ts' concerning interaction with the soldiers. Alex tuned the speech out.

A threat, he thought. Why didn't MI6 tell me about this earlier!? Alex found it rather infuriating that he had to find out about this at school rather than from his 'boss'. Alex knew he had some serious enemies who wouldn't hesitate to destroy an entire school full of kids just to get at him.

It didn't take a brain surgeon to figure out what was going on. A threat made to the school in general with this kind of reaction was obviously delivered to Blunt. If delivered to the school directly it would have been cops on the stage not five SAS units. His name was in that threat somewhere. He was sure of it.

Alex stared at Wolf until the man looked up and made eye contact. Wolf's eyes narrowed at seeing him and Alex wondered if the SAS had been told exactly whose school it was they were going to protect. Then he saw Wolf lean towards Snake and say something. Snake glanced quickly in his direction surprise flickering across his face. Apparently not.

An hour and one long winded speech about safety later and they were free to go. Alex all but ditched Tom as he quickly made his way back to the Maths room to get his things. Grabbing his books he darted towards his locker. He dumped his things in, then went and waited in the bathroom until the bell rang.

He wouldn't be attending class today. He had more pressing matters to deal with.

Tailing an SAS agent in his own school was something Alex hadn't thought he'd ever have the chance to do. Alex had hid in the bathroom until he heard the distinct sound of combat boots on the linoleum coming towards him. He waited a full half minute before following said boots, which just happened to belong to Eagle.

He knew the soldiers would be patrolling the corridors at regular intervals, each one keeping in full sight of his patrol area at all times. Each door leading to the outside was being monitored by a closed circuit camera and each window was to remain closed and locked at all times. The teachers would hardly be pleased with this as the air conditioning was constantly on the fritz. Lockdown drills were to become a weekly occurrence. The first one was taking place now. If Alex hadn't been so sure that it was one of his past enemies who had made a threat he would have suggested the security measures be loosened up. This was a school after all and the students were likely to get antsy. Not to mention the parents.

There was going to be a meeting that night for any and all concerned parents to express those concerns. Alex wondered if Wolf was going to be there, then smirked at the image of the tough SAS man getting yelled at by the rabid mothers. Jack would probably be there too. Now that was a match Alex would pay to see; Jack vs. Wolf.

Pushing his sudden amusement aside Alex continued to trail Eagle until the man entered a conference room located in a little used corridor. It was one of the larger ones with a table that could seat at least thirty. It was apparently the new home base for the soldiers. The door shut and Alex slowly crept forward. The doors in the old school were relatively thin so he could hear well enough.

"Are you sure?" said a gruff voice he recognized as Fox's. Alex had seen him in the auditorium but was still at a loss to why he was there. Wasn't Fox MI6 now?

"Yes, I'm sure," came the unmistakable growl that belonged to Wolf. "It was him."

"Him, who?" someone asked. Alex didn't recognize their voice.

"Cub," Wolf said.

"Cub?" someone else questioned.

"He trained with us at Brecon Beacons," Eagle replied. "He's with Special Operations."

"Why is he here?" someone else asked.

"I assume because this is where he goes to school," Snake said dryly.

"Wait, you mean we're talking about a student?"

"Yes," Wolf growled.

"I thought we were talking about a teacher."

"Naw," Eagle said his tone a bit too happy. "Cub's a kid. About, what? Fourteen, fifteen?"

"Fifteen," Fox said. "He's fifteen now." A short silence met his words until disbelieving protests started to come from the soldiers. Apparently he hadn't trained with any of these guys. Wolf quickly silenced them.

"Look," he said roughly. "I know this is a shock to you but this is real. Cub is a fifteen year old spy. He's also got a death threat against him and his school. You'll do your job and you'll shut up about it. Got it?" The muttered 'yessirs' were his only reply. Interesting. K-Unit seemed to be in charge of all the other Units. Maybe they were only just out training. After that small, yet forceful, speech the other units seemed to just let K-Unit discuss the situation among themselves.

"What do you think he did?" Eagle asked.

"Who knows?" Snake replied. "They didn't even tell us he was here. I don't think we'll ever know unless he tells us."

"You think it'll be difficult to get him to talk?" Eagle asked.

"Yes," Wolf and Fox said instantly and at once. Eagle's reply was cut off by the PA system switching on.

"The lockdown drill is now complete. Please resume with normal classes. Thank you." Alex thought asking the kids to resume normal classes was asking for a lot. It appeared he wasn't the only one.

"Like they're really gonna just resume normal classes," Snake scoffed.

"Yeah," Eagle agreed. "These kids are probably freaking out."

"Who can blame them?" another soldier said. "It's not everyday five SAS units come into your school and tell you that you and everyone else in the building might die." He heard a few dark chuckles at that. Alex couldn't help but roll his eyes at the men's sense of humor. It was seriously twisted.

Alex sensed the approaching person before he heard them. He looked up sharply to see a teacher walking down the corridor, eyes glued to the print out in his hands. Alex would be in serious trouble if the man happened to look up. The last thing he needed was to end up with a month of detentions or worse because he'd been caught ditching class, ignoring lockdown procedures, and eavesdropping on the SAS. He was already on bad enough terms with Headmaster Bray and this would do nothing to endear him to the man. He looked around wildly hoping to find a place to hide. There was none.

So in the panic of potentially being expelled, something no one would appreciate him doing, he did the only thing he could think of. He opened the door in front of him, the one separating him and the SAS, and quickly slipped inside.