I wasn't alone. Not like many thought. I craved love though. Still do. Does that make me greedy? I don't know. I am still getting used to Tooth and her assault on my mouth, Sandy's assuring smiles, Bunny not trying to attack me for every snow flake, or North welcoming to his home. When we're together, I feel ice creep into my body and not in the good way either. I feel scared. Afraid that they will leave me. Like they had ignored me in my 300 or so years. I get so nervous I want to fly back to my "uncles" and "aunt". They would welcome me. They never turned me away.
They treated me like their own. Unseen by all, enjoying the soft falling snow and flickering candles in the night dancing along with the stars. Aunt Lucia giving a soft smile as she hands each of us a candle. They light the way, but they are never too hot. Not even for me despite its dripping wax. It was not lit for its warmth after all, but its ever present guidance in the everlasting night.
My uncles on the other hand are much older than Lucia or I, and they act like somewhat like children with only moments of their wisdom shining through. Gaspar always insists he was of nobler birth while Baltazar argues his home was ever so slightly better. Melchor just sighs and listens to them argue. They remind me of the Guardians in that way.
Not that the Guardians will ever know. Lucia only gives a watery smile seeing me. I want to tell her I'll always be there for them like they were for him. But she never lets him make his promise. She always just smiles when he comes on the winter solstice and Three King's Day. It feels wrong to leave them, but they had known I was a free spirit for so long. They give hugs and kisses hello when I arrive, and when I leave, I feel fuller than ever before, in food and love.
In leaving, I hold a lone candle to guide me back to North's. Back to my second family. But not my home. They never have had my home.
"Don't be late Jack. Three Kings day isn't that far off!" Gaspar cries into the wind, letting his message ring in my ears. I laugh, free from any pain I've ever felt from being alone. Soft powdery flakes dance around the four, melting upon contact.
"If you don't show, you know we'll find you," Baltazar adds making Melchor roll his eyes. Lucia shows a smilet, which for her was huge. She was never one to smile too much.
"Alright!" I smiled down before letting the wind take me back to Burgess. Burgess. The burial grounds. My bedroom. A small part of my home. Nostalgia creeps beneath my skin. A sad little piece of history that has meld into a little story that only the wind and the immortals would know.
"Sankta Lucia, Sank-taa Lu-ci-ia," he sang softly into the snow muted forest. Of all the things that kept him calm, the somber melody of her song that Scandinavian men and Women sang year after year not truly believing in her but never forgetting her either. Unseen, unheard yet never forgotten.
"At least… I will never forget."
And they will never forget me either.
Sankta Lucia or Saint Lucia is a Scandinavian Saint who brought food to many families on bitter cold nights. Since she was delivering so much food, she had no room on her tray for candles so she wore them in her hair like a crown. She is portrayed by the oldest daughter in the morning bringing breakfast to her parents on the longest night.
Melchor, Baltazar and Gaspar are the three kings who came to see baby Jesus. They are celebrated twelve days after Christmas as they came late to the savior's birth. Three Kings day is celebrated in Mexico and other countries that I cannot think of for the life of me. Children leave straw/hay for their camels they ride for delivering presents and water.
So should I continue? Or is it crap? And even if I do continue, it'll be along the lines of Lucia, the Kings and Jack, or other not well known "immortals". May involve the guardians figuring it out but...