BPOV

The only way that life could get worse, was if I couldn't get away. My only reason for living, my vampire boyfriend Edward*wince* Cullen*wince*, had died last year in Italy because I couldn't do anything right.

Edwards' sister, Alice Cullen, had told me that Edward thought I was dead, and that he was going to commit suicide. So we got on a plane and raced against time to Volterra, Italy to stop him. But we were to late.

I will never forgive myself.

For the first few weeks, I couldn't so much as face my father, Charlie. But it got better. After about a month and a half, I was able to leave my room, and see Charlie. A week after I started leaving my room, I started going back to school. After three months back at school, summer break was here, and I had plans for the next year.

Before I had gone to try and save Edward, I'd applied and gotten accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast. That was where I was going in the fall. Alaska, where I could start over, where nobody knew me, and where nobody would ever need to know about my past. I wouldn't have any reminders of Forks, Washington, the Cullens, or Ed--him. I wouldn't even need to go by Bella-- infact, I didn't plan on going by Bella. I had a whole new identity, while still being the same person.

When people didn't like the name Isebella, I told them to call me Bella. Most of the time, in Arizona, they'd ask if they could call me Izzy. I always said no, but it may not be a bad idea now.

I was going to be Izzy Dwyer--Phil, my mothers husband, had said it was okay if I used his last name. The last name Swan was just to... bad memory-ish.

When my mind automatically thought of all my bad memories, I immediatly stopped thinking about everything.

I'd just gotten the memories out of my head when the door bell rang. Charlie wasn't home, so I pulled myself up from where I lay on my bed. It was elenve am. I had nothing to do.

"Hi Bella!" Alice chimed when I opened the front door. When she actually saw me, she glared and put a hand on her hip. "What do you think you're doing?" She demanded, gesturing wildly at my apearence.

"Nothing, Alice. I'm not doing anything."

I was wearing a pair of shorts that went down to my knees and a tank top. My hair was a mess from lying down, and my eyes had bags under them from lack of sleep. Basicaly, I looked terrible.

I braced myself for the words I knew were going to come out of Alices mouth next.

"Hey! Why don't we go shopping?!" She sang. "It'll make us both feel better!"

Even though I'd known it was coming, I groaned--mentally, as not to upset her. I'd already let her brother die. Why cause her anymore pain?

We got back from Portland around eight that night. It wasn't a big deal though. Charlie wasn't home, so I was fine--not that he would have gotten mad anyway. I'd been with Alice! He was like putty in her hands.

For a moment, I wondered where Charlie was, but soon remembered: Ever since Alice and I had gotten back from Italy, he'd been seeing some people. Counslers and stuff. Looking for someone who could help me. He'd met one, Janine Heights. Charlie had brought her here shortly after I'd started going back to school. She'd talked to me for about a week about why I'd left, where I'd gone, and who I'd gone for and with. When I'd gone through all the details--besides the one I couldn't tell--she'd told Charlie that I'd gone for comletely normal reasons. Soon after, she'd started visiting, but never for me. I'd wondered why she was still coming around. I soon found out. I'd gone to dinner with some friends--Alice included--and had gotten home to an almost sickening sight. Charlie and Janine making-out on the couch. It explained everything.

Charlie had a girlfriend.

"Do you know when he'll be back?" I asked Alice.

"Tomorrow," She told me. "He wants to meet her son, Simon. Afterword, he's going to go to Billys. He doesn't want to be home yet."

"Is it because of me?" I asked.

"No. He just wants to be out. He wants to give you some time to hang out."

I decided that it was as good a night as any for Charlie to be gone. Maybe I could...

"Hey, Bella? Do you want to come spend the night at my place?" Alice asked. "Everyone wants to see you, Esme especially."

I agreed and we set off.

I hadn't agreed to see the rest of the Cullens just for fun. I'd decided to tell them about my college plans. Hopefully, they'd see why I'd made them, and not argue.

Or not.