Disclaimer: Do not own Hetalia. Real people written in fictional events.
Paranormal Reactions
Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.
Michelle growled lowly under her breath at the racket coming from the other room. At 3 AM she expected to be sleeping serenely with Barack at her side. That expectation doubled when there was no immediate crisis that required the president's input. But was her hardheaded husband in bed catching the rare zzz's his position allowed him? No- he was not. The Moron. Instead she had secret service agents doing their best not to look her in the eyes as they guarded the door. Irritating as the head agent had called her at this forsaken hour to collect her dearest husband, their Commander in Chief, so she could ensure that he received his precious few hours of sleep.
Inhaling a fortifying breath, she stepped up to the door and pushed the door open. Temporarily blinded by the intense bright glare of the lights, it took a few blinks to notice cushions thrown around the walls of the room like a makeshift bomb shelter. In the center of the room Barack and Alfred sat in front of a 62" TV playing Mario Kart with the volume at full blast. Left eye twitching, she strode towards the unaware duo and hit the power button on the game console. Two startled faces gaped at her as they finally realized they weren't alone in the room.
"What Is Going On Here?"
Guilt and flustered anxiousness flushed over the cheeks of the duo as Barack's eyes scanned the room. Before he could muster up an excuse she started speaking again.
"I know it is Boss and Nation Night; however, that is supposed to end at midnight so the Boss won't miss out on his elusive moments of rest, thereby keeping his health and judgment from being compromised."
Silence met her words as Barack and America rushed to check the time, paling as they realized the actual hour.
"Uh…"
"We did finish movie night before midnight?..."
Raising an eyebrow skeptically at the two, she moved to cross her arms in front of her chest.
"And pray tell why are you both still awake?"
Two sets of eyes lefts hers to communicate a cover story.
"Well, after the movie ended America and I were both tired with sitting still so we decided to go play some Basketball to rid our excess energy, but after we finished a round we were both too hyped up to go to sleep, so we thought we'd play a couple video games before bed…"
Barack rambled out of sorts with his usual collected manner of speaking. America nodded his head affirming Barack's rambling.
"So you've been playing video games for the last three hours because you have too much excess energy to sleep?"
Enthusiastic nods. Her eyes scanned the room causing restless jerks of the limbs from the duo.
"And the makeshift bomb shelter of pillows came about how?"
Another collusion of eyes.
"…An argument about the best kind of fort for playing video games in…?"
"Surely all these lights should be disturbing your game."
"Don't want Boss's eyes getting strained."
"Hey! You're the one with the glasses."
Barack muttered at the exuberant nation. Dissension?
"The tape covering the security camera?"
"…Uh…I want to escape Big Brother…for awhile…"
Michelle hummed her affirmation.
"Was the call to the Chief of Staff to request a visit by surrounding priests, ministers, rabbi, monks, imams, and shamans a prank call then?"
Bugged eyes full of panic told her that they knew why she was there. Barack had his eyes turned away in embarrassment, while America shook his head energetically.
"No! We need them. Do you know how long it's been since the White House was last exorcised and purified of any spirits?!"
"Two years."
She stated coolly. Instead of quitting America continued his excuses.
"Exactly! This place should be cleansed every year Mrs. O. No telling what kind of curses get sent our way be 'former' commies."
"Uh-huh. And this has nothing to do with the fact that watching a film about demon spirits has scared you, and caused you to be paranoid that a demon might be following you?"
She took deep satisfaction in her husband's gulp and gritty eyes.
"A movie that you weren't supposed to be watching because you know you'd get scared by it, and ignore all the things you're supposed to be doing while attempting to get the frightening ideas out of your head?"
Her eyes were firmly settled on her fidgeting husband though the words were directed at her country, who was shaking his head.
"Heroes don't get scared Mrs. O. Or paranoid."
" why are you up so late?"
"Because Boss and I have too much pent up energy, like we said."
"So why do you both have puffy eyelids?"
"….because the movie was so cheesy we couldn't stop crying from laughing so hard..?"
America stated weakly, trying to nod like he believed what he just said as Barack groaned into his hands.
"Really? I suppose if you aren't scared and just too hyped up I won't be able to convince you to go to bed…"
America nodded brightly, while Barack eyed her suspiciously.
"Cool Mrs. O! We swear as soon as we're tired we'll go straight to bed."
Nodding, she turned the console back on before walking towards the door.
"Don't forget you both have meetings at 7:30 AM tomorrow."
"Can do, Mrs. O!"
"Oh, and Barack?"
"Yes dear?"
"Just sleep in a spare room when you're tired. I'd rather not be woken up again tonight."
"…Yes Michelle."
Was the resigned sigh from her husband as her country commiserated with a hushed 'Ouch'? With a lopsided smile, she firmly clicked the door shut. The Chief of Staff was ready and waiting for her with a wry grin.
"Couldn't connive them to rest."
Not a question.
"Both were too stubborn to admit being scared of ghosts."
A muffled snort.
"I did try to keep all the horror films off the list for the theater."
"Don't fret about it. You know Alfred would have snuck in a DVD to watch later."
"Yeah."
"Besides Barack is too proud to admit he's scared of horror films."
A commiserating sigh.
"Aren't they all?"
"This happens a lot, I take it."
"Unfortunately, Alfred can't stop watching the films even though he's terrified of ghosts, and he can never watch them alone. It's actually surprising that it took him this long to watch a horror film with President Obama."
Michelle stared at the chief in skeptical curiosity.
"Normally, president experiences his masochistic love of horror in the first 90 days…Anyways, Hilary called to say if you need help with the two she can send Bill over. He was one of the lucky few presidents who didn't share Alfred's paranoia of the supernatural."
Blinking through a tired haze, Michelle nodded.
"Yeah, that might be for the best. Otherwise the two will tire themselves out too much in the next couple of days jumping at shadows, rather than focusing on their duties."
Her eyes narrowed in suspicion as the Chief chuckled off a strangled noise in his throat.
"Right. I will have the chefs make extra strong coffee tomorrow then."
Shaking her head, Michelle waived off the Chief heading towards her room.
"As long as it's decaf I suppose. Barack is supposed to be cutting back on his caffeine consumption on doctor's orders after all. Besides, I'm sure they'll both be too hyped up to need it."
This time the laugh wasn't covered up by a cough.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Hello, Hilary speaking."
A voice answered exhaustedly.
"Mmm…hmmm…Alright…I'll let him know. Mmm…hmmm….Goodbye."
Looking up tiredly from the phone towards her fully dressed husband, Hilary sighed.
"Michelle said your help would be welcomed. The staff will be expecting you to arrive before noon."
Bill grinned knowingly at his exhausted wife.
"Good."
His steps were spritely, and her stare stern.
"Are you sure you should be doing this? He is the president now, and he does need a clear mind to make decisions."
Completely undeterred by her words, he finished rearranging items into his briefcase.
"Don't worry about it Hil. Nothing like blind terror to keep a person clear headed. Anyways, if the doctors are anything like mine were, they've already issued orders to stop drinking caffeine. Completely immoral to take caffeine away from a man like that."
A disgusted look met him, but he waived it off with a cheery grin.
"I doubt the secret service will appreciate it."
"Please, love whatever excitement they can get. Besides we never got him back for beating you out of the election. Have to remind him why you never mess with the Clintons."
Winking at her, he walked out the door while she indulged in rolling her eyes.
"Do Not Get Arrested!"
One week later.
Michelle stared with narrowed eyes and firmly set mouth at the Chief of Staff. He did not have the grace to look ashamed.
"Has he slept at all this week?"
Cough.
"A few hours here and there."
Glancing through the door at her husband and nation playing a horrible game of basketball, she raised a perfectly lifted eyebrow at the Chief.
"I thought the idea was to make them stop being terrified, so they could function properly enough to do their jobs."
Hmm. Hmm.
"Yes, that would be optimal, but it usually doesn't work that well. At least this way, they have both been able to cut their caffeine intake while remaining cognizant through their meetings."
"They're terrified to close their eyes."
"Yes, well…Bill always was well known for his love of a good prank."
"Is anyone ever going to tell me what exactly he did to them?"
"Just a small scare. Nothing worth being imprisoned over. You should be glad about this Mam. I'm sure Barbara wishes she'd let Bill help George."
Her deadpan stare conveyed her lack of belief in the statement.
"Really? And why should I be happy about my husband being too scared to sleep?"
"Well, he will never let Alfred talk him into watching another horror film. Hopefully, we will be able to avoid this reaction in the future. Barbara had to put up with ghost scares every other month for eight years."
Still skeptical Michelle nodded. There was no way she was going to put up with this paranoia again. Exasperated with watching her anxious husband, she pulled the door shut with a thud. Silence.
"Boss-man did you hear that!? A ghost just shut the doors!"
"Joe can take Alfred to watch movies after this."
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Well...here is the promised response to the Rick Perry fic. Seemed fitting to post this on Halloween. Likely to be edited in the near future, as I typed this too quickly without editing.
Thanks For Reading,
~False Sourires