AN: This is my first Fanfic so hope you enjoy. Gravitation and its characters are not mine but belong to Maki Murakami.
Summary: Shuichi finally reaches his breaking point and leaves the country to start anew. He gets a new name, new band, and changes everything about himself. When he finally returns to Japan with his new friends, will he return to his old life or keep his new one?
Normal
Dream
Ch1: Reaching the Breaking Point
Everyone has a breaking point, even happy-go-lucky people such as Shuichi Shindo. After returning with his boyfriend, Eiri Yuki, from New York he thought life would be better. He hoped that Yuki would at least stop threatening for him to leave and his career would rocket. Life isn't always as easy as people wish.
Months have passed since Shuichi came back. Bad Luck seemed to be getting more popular but if people looked behind the scenes, it isn't as good. Shuichi couldn't return to any feeling of normality. Hiroshi Nakano, Shuichi's best friend and Bad Luck's guitarist, was more distracted with his girlfriend, Ayaka Usami, than his own best friend. Every time Shuichi wanted to hang out like old times, Hiro already had plans to be with Ayaka. Shuichi understood the feeling of wanting to be with a lover so he didn't take it too personally, at first.
So he decides to look for Ryuichi Sakuma, lead singer of Nittle Grasper and second best friend. Ryuichi was nowhere to be found. Sadly it started getting late and raining outside. Shuichi had forgotten his umbrella, so he walked home getting drenched immediately after walking outside. He just sighs and shrugs it off. He uses the time to evaluate the last few months. His life had started to look dimmer as the days passed on. Yuki still yells at him, Hiro has become busy, Ryuichi isn't always around, and the stress of maintaining his image and sanity was taking its toll. One month after being back with Yuki after his disappearance, he started having nightmares.
Sitting alone in a dark room and looking outside the window, he sees the people he loves start to drift away and forget him. First it was Tohma Seguchi, the keyboard player for Nittle Grasper and the head of NG recording company. They had recently became friends and to see him go away hurt. The last person to drift was the love of his life. To make it worst, Yuki turns to look at Shuichi and smirks. He starts to mouth the words that hurt Shuichi every time he hears it, then walks away. Shuichi tries to break the window so he can go after his friends, but it was a fruitless effort. Just when he finally manages to crack the window, he feels a pain in his chest. He looks down and sees red. Touching his chest, he feels the liquid coat his hand.
Shuichi would wake up just when his dream self would turn to see who shot him. He would be trembling and crying to himself. He feared being alone as well as being betrayed more than everything else. He would wrap himself in his blanket in fetal position till it was time to get up to go to work or he fell back to sleep. Sleep became the one thing he would avoid after a week of the same dream.
The rain blended with the tears he wept after remembering the dream and what his fears stemmed from. A secret he has kept to himself and he was not willing to tell anyone, not even Hiro. Looking up, he sees his home that he shares with his writer boyfriend. As he reached the door, he takes in deep breathes so no one would notice how depressed he actually was. He puts on a big smile and walks in. He yells his usual 'I'm Home!' but is met with silence. He figured Yuki isolated himself in his room to write his next novel. He walks up to the room to look inside and sees it's empty. He looked everywhere and found no sign of his lover. He sighs and shakes his head. He decided that it was better that way for now and took a shower and a new pair of clothes. After drying off and warming up, he feels like listening and dancing around to music. He goes to the living room and raises the volume to one of his own songs. He was so absorbed in his dancing around and singing that he didn't hear or notice Yuki walked in.
Yuki walks in to see his singer/songwriter boyfriend moving to the music and smiles. He loves Shuichi but doesn't like admitting it. He was tired from writing his novel and left to get some air. When it rained, he returned home feeling better and seeing his lover dancing and singing made his spirit rise.
Shuichi finally turns around and sees Yuki. He blushes and lowers the volume.
"How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough" Yuki smiles one of his sincerely happy smiles.
Shuichi runs to hug him. The rest of the night was full of energy and exercise.
The next morning, Yuki got up to hear more loud music. It wouldn't have been a problem if he wasn't woken up by the racket. He was cranky and not in the mood to be rudely awakened. Yuki grabs his boxers and goes to the living. As soon as he sees Shuichi and the remote in his hand, he lost it.
"It's too early in the morning to be listening to this racket. You either stop your music or get out and never come back. I am tired of all you inconsiderate annoyances!" Yuki yells not knowing the consequences.
Shuichi turned on the music when he woke up from a nightmare. He wanted the music to drown out his fears. He didn't intend to awaken Yuki. When he heard Yuki's threat, he started to shake.
"Yuki, do you love me?"
Yuki continues his rant, "Love is a feeling not needed to live. Leave now!"
Shuichi heard what he feared more than anything. He heard that love was not a part of life, which he interpreted that he didn't deserve love.
He grabbed a bag he always had in case he couldn't take it anymore. He ran out crying and never looked back. He finally reached his breaking point. He was leaving and didn't plan to ever go back. He boarded a flight and left the country. He knew people that would ensure that no one found him or knew who he was. He would start anew with a new life, a new name, and new location.
AN: I would like to clarify that this is not a one-shot. So expect more chapters. Thank you for taking the time to read this! Till the next chapter…