Hello, everyone, I'm the Author 1945, read me, fav me, love me!
So, for as cute as our little Israel is, he can be rather ude, so lets see how he acts with Finland and Sweden.
Warning: A bit of a long and semi-unrelated rant at the end by me.
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...
America gripped his brother's hand as he led him out of the shop.
"I can't believe they didn't have a lightbulb!" he cried. The ten-year-old Israel grinned as he pulled his blue coat tighter around him.
"I can," said the boy, "remind me never to come visit you in the middle of a snow day…or night as it were."
"Oh, you'd just leave me alone in my house without lights?" said America with a slight grin. Israel grinned right back and said, "lo, Akhi, but you know my thing about cold temperatures; I am a desert nation after all."
"Well, looks like we'll have to get by without light bulbs tonight little brother."
"Can I use candles to read by?"
"Isn't that a fire hazard?"
"Ken," said Israel, smiling cheerfully. America gave a slight roll of the eyes. Israel was the kind of person who always smiled, most of the time his smile was cheery, when he went into battle or gave off a cheeky comment he grinned with mischief and cockiness, on occasion his smile would be bitter to reflect the situation, but he almost always smiled. America liked that about Israel, he was optimistic.
"Sure, little bro, if you're really that desperate to read."
"Ani," said the boy with an affirmative nod, "hey, Akhi, why don't you just go to the supermarket during the day before winter and get like fifty light bulbs before winter, just so this wont happen?"
"Do I look like a squirrel?" joked America with a smile, "and hey, I wouldn't question my going out to get light bulbs in the middle of the night were I you, Izzy, I wouldn't have found you if I didn't."
"Good point~!" said Israel, eyes shining a bit. Despite the fact that America and Israel were brothers by adoption, not blood, it was odd how similar they were. They were both adventurous, optimistic, childish (though for Israel that was natural), mischievous, extremely strong despite being young and Japan often said that the glitter in Israel's eyes was exactly the same as the one that America got in his eyes. They were similar, but different enough to get along just fine. Very few people who saw them pulling pranks (on every nation other then each other, they had sworn never, under any circumstances, to pull pranks on one another) questioned why they were best friends.
They did have their differences though.
One of which being manners
As the two walked back to their home, a voice called out "America!"
America turned and gave a polite smile, Israel gave a curious grin as two men came up to them, both blonde and wearing thick coats. One smiled in a friendly manner and ran up to America, the other hung back a bit, his bespectacled face showing no emotion.
"Hey, Finland, nice to see you," said America. He and Finland shook hands briefly and Finland did a polite bow, Israel rolled his eyes at the polite gesture.
"Nice to see you too, Mr. America," said the Finnish man, smiling. Israel rolled his eyes once more when he called his brother 'Mr.' though the boy smiled all the same.
"What brings you here?" asked America, and the tall man with the glasses answered in a voice so thickly accented that Israel had difficulty understanding what he was saying: "M'wife forgot his jacket at the UN so we came t' get it."
"He he," laughed Finland with a fake smile, "he's just joking, we're not married."
"Oh!" cried America, gesturing to his little brother, "Finland, this is my little brother Israel, you remember him?"
"Ah, yes, when he was a baby, hello, Israel," said Finland, offering his hand to the boy.
"Shalom!" cried the boy and Finland winced. America and the nations that raised him were used to it, but Israel spoke very loud and very fast, that was just his natural tone of voice.
With that, Israel ran forward and stood barely half-a-foot away from Finland as he grinned and shook the elder nation's hand. Finland looked shocked by Israel's disregard for his personal space but America chuckled. Israel didn't know the concept of personal space, he always stayed very close to someone when he talked to them, unless they were an enemy in which case if they got too close they risked being at the opposing end of his Israeli Rage.
"Ani Eretz Yisrael," said the boy very fast and very loud, "but you can call me Israel or Izzy!"
"Ah, yes, thank you, Israel," said the Finnish man, wringing his hand as Israel released it. America had gained relative control over his incredible strength over the years so he could grab or throw something without crushing it or tossing it halfway across the world. Israel, on the other hand, was still a child, and only barely had more control over how or where he exerted his super strength then America had had when he was a boy.
After Israel released his hand, Finland nervously tried to get some personal space and stepped away from the boy. Israel frowned and cocked an eyebrow and America knew that was a mistake: Israel considered it an insult to step away from a person. The boy just took a step closer and each time Finland took a step away he only took one step closer until finally the Finnish man gave up and just allowed the boy to stand close. Israel smiled at realizing he had won.
"So," said the young Jewish nation, "what are you doing here?"
"We came to the UN." Answered Finland.
"Why?" asked the boy.
"To get my jacket."
"Why?"
"Because I wanted it back."
"Why?"
"Because its mine."
"How much did you pay for it?" asked Israel.
"What?!" cried Finland, surprised that the boy would ask such a question.
"I said how much did you pay for it!" cried the boy, raising his voice a bit, his eyes glittered with mischief as Finland winced again. Finland sighed and told him the price, Israel gave a small frown.
"You paid too much for the coat," said the boy bluntly, "you should have gotten a more inexpensive one, buying it at that price was really dumb, you can get as good if not better a coat for half that."
Finland looked absolutely dazed by the gall and bluntness of this boy. America was used to it. Israel was very direct, he spoke his mind and said what he thought and if you didn't like it, sucks to be you. The boy also didn't have a place in his heart for manners, in fact he considered 'etiquette' to be a dirty word.
"Hey," said the Israeli, "why are you married to that guy?" he pointed to Sweden, "he's a guy too, does that make you a girl in secret?"
"No!" cried Finland, then he dropped his voice to a whisper so that only Izzy could hear and said, "he thinks I'm his wife but I'm not! I hate it when he calls me that, though."
Israel arched an eyebrow and not bothering to whisper said, "so why are you complaining to me about this? Complain to him."
"What?!" hissed Finland, "no! I-I don't want to hurt his feelings or be too hard on hi-"
"Feelings were made to be hurt once and awhile," said the boy, then he looked over at Sweden and cried "hey! Finland aint your wife, get over it!"
Finland went red as a beet and began to stutter and make excuses but Israel simply said, "if you think something say it! Don't be a coward!"
America had to hold in a laugh as Finland shut up, still red in the face. Sweden arched an eyebrow at the child. Israel unflinchingly stared the taller nation right in the eyes, grinning and holding himself up at full height (admittedly not too much.)
And before Sweden could open his mouth to say anything, Israel said, "and another thing, stop staring all deadpan like that, you're giving me and everyone else the creeps, they're just afraid to tell you so. And just because you're tall doesn't mean you can intimidate me so I suggest you…."
"Okay!" cried America all of a sudden, grabbing Israel and covering his mouth with his gloved hand (as Israel's muffled voice continued to give Sweden a piece of his mind), the last thing America wanted was a confrontation with Sweden, "gotta run, guys, enjoy New York, come on little bro!"
With that America dragged his little brother away and once they were far away from the Northern Europeans, he released his brother.
"Izzy," he said with a grin that showed that he wasn't in trouble but he still needed to be taught a lesson, "now me and the others are fine with you having no manners to speak of…well, let me rephrase that, I am fine with it and the others are used to it, but in front of strangers can you behave more politely?"
"Not a chance, Akhi," said Israel with a friendly smile and a glint in the eyes, "I'm a sabra, remember? I have to speak with dugri"
America laughed and nodded and with that the two brothers went home.
...
Later at Sweden's house:
Sweden curled up in a fetal position in his corner, moping.
"What's wrong, Su-san?" asked Finland with concern.
"He said my stare was creepy," said the Swede, "its not is it?"
"Ahhh…no, of course not," lied Finland hesitantly. Israel would have been disappointed, Finland indeed had a long ways to go in terms of dugri.
...
Well better luck next time, Finland!
Explanation time!
Translations:
Hebrew:
Dugri: to stand up for oneself aggressively.
Sabra: literally the name of a prickly cactus. Israelis are often called sabras because they are prickly on the outside but sweet on the inside, they're abrasive at first contact but get to know them and their the nicest people in the world.
Ani Eretz Yisrael: I'm the Land of Israel
Israel is extremely impolite: yeah, pretty much everything Israel just did there be prepared for if you go to Israel. Israelis are infamous for being extremely impolite, maybe it's just because everybody keeps trying to kill them so learning etiquette isn't their biggest concern but for some reason and Israeli won't hesitate to ask you exactly what the price of something you bought is and then bluntly tell you that you either paid too much or too little for it, and they are afraid to give you a piece of their mind if you're doing something that's annoying them.
Israel has no concept of personal space: this may have something to do with the fact that Israel like Italy is a Mediterranean nation but yeah be prepared for that if you go to Israel too, and don't scoot away either because that is considered insulting.
"He's a guy too, does that make you a girl in secret?": Now believe it or not Israel has for the longest time been one of the most LGBT friendly nations in the world, they allowed gays and lesbians to serve openly in their army for even longer than America has. Transsexual Sharon Cohen aka Dana International is a famous Israeli singer. Israel is a very tolerant nation, in spite of the fact that homosexuality is forbidden in Judaism.
And on a semi-unrelated note.
Homosexuality and Judaism:
Oh, good! I can finally explain my and Judaism's opinion on homosexuality, now first of all…
Christie: Hold it right there, Author!
Ugh! It's one of my many old foes, Christie the Crazy Christian Missionary! Try saying that five times fast!
Christie: That's' right, Author! And I'm here to patronize you and put down your religion in favor of mine!
Y'know Christie, cant you just go to church and donate to the poor and pray to Jesus like most Christians, do you have to constantly follow me around and try to convert me to your religion?
Christie: Yes! Because my religion is clearly completely and totally correct.
You don't know that, I don't know that, but hasn't exactly come down from the skies and told us 'the Jews are correct about Me' or 'the Christians are correct.' Cant you just practice your religion faithfully and let me do the same.
Christie: No!
Ugh, fine, what do you want?
Christie: I'm here to point out why you not being a homophobe is against your religion!
Oh?"
Christie: that's right, why clearly if you read the book of Leviticus it says 'thou shalt not lie with a man as with a woman, it is an abomination' See? Clearly you cant be a good Jew unless you therefore tell all homosexuals that they're going to hell!
Okay, one I don't believe in hell. Two, that quote only calls homosexual sex an abomination. Three, that quote is from the Torah, which is only for Jews to obey, gentiles don't have to listen to a word of that book aside from the basic Noachide laws of Humanity which is basically don't murder, steal, rape and so on. Furthermore, the Torah also says that eating pork is an abomination, but I wouldn't say you were going to hell for eating pork…though in your case, Christie, I can think of about 10 other reasons you're probably going to hell, if there is one.
Christie: but if your holy book tells you to do something then clearly you should put down and curse at everyone who doesn't do exactly as it says, that's the way to get into God's good graces!
Christie, I'm relatively sure God doesn't approve of putting down other people, and hey wasn't it Jesus that said Judge not lest ye be judged?
Christie: Uhhh…he probably only meant that in certain cases like not when it had to do with homosexuals or Jews!
Y'know, Christie, it just hit me, why the hell do you disapprove of homosexuality?
Christie: what?
I mean the edict against homosexuality is in the Old Testament in the book of Leviticus and Deuteronomy which also lays down laws having to do with Yom Kippur and Passover and kosher laws but Christians don't obey the laws of Passover or Yom Kippur or kosher laws because from what I understand they claim that they don't have to obey the laws of the Old Testament like Jews do because Jesus fulfilled them, but if that's the case then why are you still going along with the anti-homosexuality law, the New Testament never says anything against homosexuality it's just the Old Testament, by that logic Christians should be allowed to be as gay as they want! So why is it that I always read about radical Christians hating on homosexuality when according to the book homosexuality is no worse than eating pork, and yet Christians eat plenty of pork! If you're going to put down people using the Bible, at least don't be a hypocrite!
Christie: I….uhhh…don't try to twist my words!
Oh, for the love of…y'know, Christie, I'm a religious person and while I myself wouldn't become a lesbian for religious reasons I would never put down another person for their beliefs. And I wouldn't try to pressure another person into joining my religion by saying they're going to hell if they don't! I believe that god is good and forgiving and He loves everyone in spite of their flaws and He must get really frustrated when his own children use His name to bully and harass and alienate one another! Maybe instead of using Jesus' name to try to scare people into seeing things your way you should live by what he taught, love thy neighbor, do not hate the stranger, don't be judgmental! Most Christians don't believe that I or a homosexual person is going to go to hell just because we don't believe the same thing they do, most would probably agree with me, they use their religion for good, and they would probably agree with me, but people like you give them and your religion a bad name! Have you ever thought that maybe you should be more like those people, just be a good person and try to understand other people's beliefs and maybe you can learn something from them!
Christie:…no!
(sigh) well, I tried.
(Sorry about the long rant folks, just had to get that out, I mean no offense to anyone except bigots)
See you soon!