Loneliness
by
PhilippaRM
How had they gotten to this point? It was hard to tell. There had always been some mild flirtation, it was an inevitable part of their relationship. But could it ever be anything more than that? At this moment in time, nothing was certain to Gene Hunt. She'd always had a special place in his heart, he knew that much. From the moment she walked into CID, or rather the moment he carried her into CID, dressed like a high class prozzie, he had known she was special.
Yes she was a fruitcake alright, but she was his fruitcake, his Bolly. He found it difficult to imagine his life in London without her. It must've been pretty dull and insignificant, otherwise he would've surely been able to recall some moments, some things that had happened before she arrived.
Of course before that there had been Sam, yet another fruitcake, but the best and most loyal friend he'd ever had in his whole life.
When Sam died, he left a big void, a large gaping hole in Gene's heart, which he thought could never be mended. Until she walked in, and filled that void, most probably without even realising it. He hoped that someday, somehow, he could tell her how he felt about her. How she had brightened his days, how she had made him feel alive again for the first time in God knows how long. For now he could only hope that she'd known all along how special she really was to him. Of course she was a very attractive woman, but his feelings for her were far from being just sexual. No, his feeling were a lot deeper and much more intense than that.
He gazed at her, his lips pursed into their usual pout, as she lay there in that hospital bed, her face nearly as pale as the sheet draped loosely over her. He suddenly realised what it was that he could relate to in her, it wasn't a common background, the same interest, or even something trivial like a similar taste in music. It was loneliness.
Gene had felt lonely ever since arriving in London. He'd thought that a transfer would do him good. He'd been stuck in Manchester all his life, he'd had some good, and quite some bad times there, and especially after Sam's death he had felt terribly out of place. So he'd packed up his things and left, surprisingly enough Ray and Chris had transferred with him. They seemed to settle in nicely, but Gene had felt alienated ever since arriving in London.
Up until the moment Alex had ended up in hospital, he hadn't realised how lonely she was, too. She talked about her daughter Molly a lot, who was away living with her godfather, which Gene never really understood. Why didn't she visit her? Why didn't she ever call her? It seemed like she never had any contact with her daughter whatsoever, even though Alex was the most warm and loving person he knew. She was a terrific mother, he was sure of that. But her daughter hadn't come to visit her in hospital. In fact, nobody had. That Evan bloke had stopped by once to bring some flowers, but apart from him, only Gene and Shaz had visited her.
Gene had sat by her bed every day since the accident, now nearly 3 weeks ago. In all that time he'd hardly said a word to her, even though he knew it was good to talk to people who were in a coma. He just couldn't bring himself to do it, he felt embarrassed, didn't know what to say since she probably wouldn't be able to hear him anyway. In these past 3 weeks he hadn't made any physical contact, but now he felt the sudden urge to hold her hand.
He hesitated for a while, having an inner struggle about whether to go for it or not. Eventually the urge was too strong, and he reached out, and softly took hold of her right hand. He lightly squeezed her hand, and he could swear he could feel her giving him a slight squeeze back..