Arnold Rimmer is in love. With a man. Who in no way could love him back. It's at times like this he's glad his parents are dead. Oneshot. Short and my first Dwarf fanfic. Eventual Rimmer/Lister slash. Set series 3. Lister has a pretty intense dream about Christine Kochanski, something Rimmer find's on the Dream recorder. Holly is still female and Rimmer is hard-light.

Alright, he didn't want to admit it but seeing that dream on the recorder, well, it hurt. Rimmer played the tape over and over. Tears spilled down his cheeks. Lister and Kochanski. Together. Rimmer sighed and hit the off button.

'What's up, dude?' Asked Holly flashing onto the screen. Rimmer shook his head.' What 'ya doing then?' Said Holly, trying to make conversation.

'Holly,' He said sadly. 'Do you think that...' he trailed off. 'Never mind.'

'Oh, charming.' Holly said sulkily as her face disappeared from the screen.

'Hiya, smeg-head.' Said Lister from the doorway. Rimmer wondered briefly how long he'd been there. No, not long enough. 'Have you been crying?' Lister walked over to him.

'Errr,' Rimmer rubbed his face. 'No.' He said bluntly. 'Something in my eyes,' He stepped out of the doorway as Lister turned on a games console.

'Smeg,' he heard Lister mutter to himself. Mentally, he pulled himself together.

Come on, Arnold! He thought. You're better than this. And you most definitely do not fancy Lister! He's messy and noisy and simply, he's Lister. He's beautiful…

Rimmer made his way towards the sleeping quarters, his and Lister's. Rimmer perched himself on his desk chair and picked up a pencil. He was just trying to be busy, making notes on something he'd gone over at least fifty times already.

'Go on then,' Holly said like it was a great effort appearing on the screen by the bed. 'Tell me what's got you down?' He wondered why Holly was being so nice to him. Perhaps she was just curious – that made more sense actually. She was probably just bored.

'Alright,' Rimmer said nervously. 'If you're going to keep on at me – it's Dave. That's all I'm saying.'

'Yeah, he gets on my nerves 'n' all.' Holly said. Rimmer sighed as he knew she didn't understand. How could she understand? He was a computer, straight and really, quite extraordinarily thick.

'No, but-' Rimmer wasn't quite sure how to continue.

'I already know,' Holly interrupted smugly. Rimmer's eyes widened.

'You… you do?' Rimmer looked confused. Did she really know? Rimmer's nostrils flared and his cheeks flushed deep red.

'Rimmer-likes-Lister!' Holly teased in a child-like sing-song voice, swinging her head from left to right. 'Rimmer-likes-Lister!'

'Shh! Keep it down!' Rimmer yelled. 'Someone might hear you!' Holly wasn't exactly right. He didn't like Lister, he loved Lister. He'd loved him for a long time and never admitted it to anyone.

'Who?' Holly smiled. 'Everybody's worked it out.' She said blankly like it was obvious.

'What?' Rimmer yelled. Shock washed over him. And in a weird way, so did relief.

'Well, Dave doesn't know.' Rimmer's heart broke a little and if he had a heartbeat, he was certain all the blood would have drained from his face. 'Right, later dude.' Holly switched herself off.

'Know what?' Asked Lister as he walked cheerily through the door.

'Lister,' It was now or never, Rimmer decided. Lister had to know how he felt. 'I think there's something I've got to tell you,'

'Relax, Rimsy.' Lister said, smiling. 'I've known about your little crush on me for a while.' Rimmer nodded, unable to speak. 'And I think that…' Their eyes met, both of their cheeks red. 'Aha,' Lister sighed. 'What the smeg?' Lister stepped closer to Rimmer, heart beating fast. Neither of them broke eye contact. Lister stroked away a tear for Rimmer's cheek he hadn't noticed he'd shed. He didn't know what was happening.

'I love you, man.' He said softly, caressing Rimmer's cheek. Rimmer held up his own hand and pressed it to Dave's. Their faces grew so close they were almost touching.

'Love you more,' he laughed and leaned slowly in. He could feel himself faltering but Lister steadied his trembling cheek with his other hand. Their lips met. It was pure ecstasy.

Despite this, Rimmer pulled away. 'Listy,' he said. His voice was heavy and hoarse. 'Are you sure about this? What about Kochanski?'

'What about Kochanski?' Dave asked looking confused. 'That was just a crush, Rim.' He smiled a wonderful smile.

'But… your dream?' Rimmer said sadly and tried to pull away. It was quiet for a moment before they heard Holly laugh to herself. They looked into each other's eyes as they know what she'd done.

'Rimmer, you really are such a smeg-head!' Dave said, pulling his face closer once again. 'Come here.' The couple embraced and basked in each other.

Bliss.

…End…

Okay not very good. Not worked on much slash stuff and my first Red Dwarf fanfiction. Thanks so much for sticking it out to the end though! Appreciate it SO much. Can you please just spend like 30 seconds reviewing – PLEASE! Any criticism welcome, would just love some feedback on how I presented the characters – new to the Dwarf fandom. Thanks!