Dasvedanya
I read the newspaper article again, for what seemed like the millionth time. It still shocked me every time I read it. It took a while for me to finally adjust to life after it happened. I still don't feel the same way I did a year ago. Of course, I was younger and stupider back then, as most 14 year olds were. Despite that though, I should have realized what had been happening. I could have prevented it. I wish life had a rewind button.
--*--
She had long blonde hair and sparkling bright blue eyes. She was tall with a spectacular body. She was beautiful.
I must have been gawking at her because Misty chose that moment to smack my head and hiss, "You're staring Ash..."
I immediately turned my gaze away from the girl, but soon found my head twisting back to see her again. A big mistake on my part though, as Misty smacked me again.
I didn't see what was wrong though, I thought is was natural for guys to act like this around beautiful girls. Brock does it all the time.
Now that I think about it, Brock was gawking at her too. I didn't understand why Misty didn't smack him.
Temptation overcame me and I walked up to her, ignoring Misty shaking her head sadly. The smell of raspberries surrounded her.
She even smells good, I thought with a grin. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth.
"Hi," I began, "I'm...I'm..."
I couldn't believe it. She was so beautiful I couldn't concentrate, thus forgetting my name.
The girl smiled. "I'm Sheila," she said and offered her hand.
"Sheila," I replied dreamily, taking her hand and shaking it. "What a beautiful name."
She giggled and I was satisfied that I had actually been able to say something semi-intelligent.
"Come on Ash, we have to go," Misty interrupted loudly.
"We can wait a few minutes," I snapped. Misty scowled, but didn't say anything and remained where she was.
"Shall we get something to drink?" I asked Sheila. She grinned and nodded.
We began walking towards a fast food place, which was the only place that would sell us any kind of drink for miles. I turned and waved to Misty, who glared at me and sat down on a bench.
"And then I said, 'I won't let you beat me! I'm going to be the greatest pokémon master in the world!' and my Pikachu used Thunder and finished off his Krabby,"
It was unbelievable. Here I was, having a drink with the most beautiful girl on the planet, and she was blessing me by explaining in great detail how she beat a gym leader. She sounded just like me.
Sheila suddenly stood up and struck a pose. My pose.
"And I flashed my little finishing pose like I always do, even though everyone who sees me thinks I'm nuts," she said.
She even uses the same pose I use, I thought. I was in heaven.
We walked out half an hour later, still talking, with me discovering that the more I talked to her, the more I liked her.
Brock had finally returned from wherever he had been, I hadn't really noticed since I spotted Sheila. Misty refused to look at me when we approached her, but I didn't notice anything until later.
"I'm ready Ash, let's go," announced Brock.
My heart sank. I didn't want to go. I stared at Sheila.
"We're going to Pallet Town to visit my mom," I mumbled.
"Really? I'm going to visit my uncle in Pallet!" she exclaimed.
My face lit up as she spoke those words. "Why don't you come with us?" I asked eagerly.
Misty scowled again, but kept quiet.
"I'd love to!" Sheila grinned at me and I grabbed her hand.
It wasn't long until clouds rolled in and Brock said he felt a drop hit him. A moment later, Sheila said she felt one too. A light rain started to fall. We ran until we reached a small deserted cave, where Sheila called out a Charmander to light it up.
We had amazing luck when we found the cave, because seconds after we all crammed in, it started to really pour. It looked like someone was just pouring water in front of the opening of the cave.
Beside me, Sheila started shivering. I put my arm around her and pulled her close. She smiled at me and put her head on my shoulder.
Brock was already falling asleep with his Vulpix in his arms. Misty was watching the rain fall. Togepi was sleeping next to Pikachu.
I stared at Sheila for a while; still not being able to believe that someone as beautiful as her was sleeping with her head on my shoulder.
It was still raining when I woke up. Sheila's arms were wrapped around my waist and her head was still on my shoulder so I didn't move.
Brock was still asleep, although Vulpix was wandering around the tiny cave, sniffing some rocks.
Misty had disappeared; Brock had told me later that she was standing outside in the rain. She had been upset. Togepi and Pikachu were both sleeping.
I felt Sheila move as she woke up, yawned, and smiled at me. I smiled back at her.
An awkward silence filled the cave. Neither Sheila nor I said anything. She shifted uncomfortably. I gazed into her eyes and she gazed into mine. We started moving closer together…
"Ash!"
Sheila pulled away quickly, blushing furiously. Misty's head poked into the cave.
"Can we go? It's just a little rain, and you told your mom we would be home in three days two days ago. And we still have a long walk to get to Pallet,"
I sighed, sensing that if I dared to argue, I would lose. I didn't want to lose in front of Sheila.
"Fine. Let's go then,"
Misty poked Brock and when he didn't wake up, dragged him out of the cave to give him a shower. It must have worked, because Brock's surprised yell echoed through the cave a minute later.
I smiled. Misty had interesting ways of waking people up, though most of them weren't pleasant.
Pikachu walked out of the cave holding Togepi followed by Sheila and me. Pikachu handed Togepi to Misty before the egg could get too wet.
My relationship with Sheila got better and better as we trudged through the rain while Misty's mood seemed to get worse and worse. I never noticed this, though I wish I had.
After what seemed like decades we reached Pallet. At that exact moment, the rain decided to stop. I scowled.
We reached my house quickly, with me leading the way. I pushed open the front door and was immediately greeted by my mother and a big hug.
"Oh Ash, I'm so glad you're finally home! And it's good to see you Brock and Misty! Who's this Ash?"
"Hi Mrs. Ketchum, it's nice to see you again," Brock said with a smile.
"This is Sheila Mom," I answered.
"Hi," Sheila offered her hand again and my mom shook it.
"We're gonna be staying here for a little while Mom," I announced. "Take a break from traveling."
"Alright honey, dinner will be ready soon," she replied.
"Would you like some help?" Brock put in, obviously happy at a chance to cook for us since we hadn't really eaten anything that required cooking for the last few days.
"That would be nice, thank you Brock,"
With them cooking, that left me, Misty and Sheila. I lead them to my room and tossed my bag on my bed.
"Is this your room Ash?" Sheila asked, looking around.
I nodded.
"I love it!" Sheila exclaimed. "It looks just like mine!"
I grinned. "You can sleep in the bed if you want," I offered, since my bed was the only one in there. "Me and Misty can sleep on the floor."
"Ash, why..." Misty began.
"Thanks Ash!" interrupted Sheila.
Misty crossed her arms and glared at Sheila. I was to busy watching Sheila to care.
The same sort of thing happened at dinner. I offered Sheila everything first, gave her the nice chair, the one without the big hole, stuff like that. I basically ignored Misty.
That was another mistake. She finally got fed up with me, mumbled something about being excused and left the table.
I watched Sheila eat her chicken.
Things between Misty and me got worse as the days passed by, probably because I was paying more attention to Sheila. I talked to Sheila every chance I got, I only talked to Misty a few times before I went to bed and said goodnight. Not only that, the only reason I said goodnight to her was because I said goodnight to Sheila.
About a week after we first arrived at my house, Misty dragged me away from Sheila and told me she was going back to Cerulean City.
"Why?" I asked, straining so I was able to see Sheila, who was behind Misty in the next room.
"That's exactly why Ash," was my reply.
"Huh?"
"I can't believe you Ash! You're totally ignoring me!"
"No I'm not!"
"You're not even listening!"
We argued for an hour. No one stopped us either. My mom was outside in the garden, Brock was at the grocery store and Sheila didn't know what to do. Pikachu was outside with Togepi and I was glad, or else we both would have gotten quite a shock.
The worst part about the argument was I wasn't even really listening. I don't even remember what I said. One thing seemed to push Misty over the edge though, as she grabbed her bag and stormed out of the house.
I watched her go from my window. Her form vanished within seconds. I walked out of my room and went back to continue talking with Sheila.
The next day, Misty called. I was surprised that she did, she seemed pretty mad. Then again, I wasn't paying attention so how would I know?
"Ash?" was the first thing she said.
"What?" I replied harshly.
"I...I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I was just frustrated. You never talked to me,"
"I'm sorry, but I really like Sheila. She's a lot like me. In fact, she's just like me," I grinned, seeing Sheila playing with Pikachu on the couch.
"I felt so left out..." Misty murmured.
We talked for 15 minutes until Misty said something I'll never forget.
"My life doesn't seem to have meaning anymore. I wish it would just end..." she said quietly.
What on earth does she mean by that, I thought. There was no way to end life just because...
My mouth dropped open.
No...
She wouldn't...
No...
Misty seemed to realize the same thing because I heard a clunk as she dropped the phone
"No..." I said into the phone, but I was too late. "No! No Misty, don't do it!"
My cries became more frantic as I realized she was actually going to commit suicide. I heard some banging noises between my pleads.
"Ash?" Sheila asked, walking up behind me.
"No Misty! Don't do it! No! I love you!"
--*--
I felt tears coming to my eyes as I remembered myself begging her not to kill herself, even though she couldn't hear me. I yelled into the phone until my mom came in and pried it from my fingers. Sheila had run to Professor Oak's lab, where my mom had been and told her I was screaming at the phone.
Misty had felt she'd lost me to Sheila. And she was right, she had. I loved Sheila. But suicide wasn't the way to win me back.
It worked though.
Sheila left the next day. I couldn't look at her, knowing that because I loved her, I caused one of my closest friend's deaths. No, Misty wasn't just one of my closest friends. I loved her. I just never realized that until it was too late.
I stayed in my room for weeks. I wouldn't talk to anyone. Not even Pikachu. I kept to myself, trying to hide my pain in front of my mom, Brock and Pikachu.
When I finally came out of my room, I couldn't talk. I'd gone into complete shock. My mom took me to a psychologist, but it didn't help. I remained the way I was for a month.
Now, a year after Misty died, I was reading the article that was in the paper the day after she killed herself. I don't know why I kept reading it; it only made me feel worse about what happened.
"I love you Misty," I whispered to the paper.
I found myself wondering how I'd made it this far. With the grief I went through everyday, I wondered why I hadn't ended my life.
A scary thought popped into my head. I could commit suicide. I would be with her. I wouldn't be alone.
I shook my head. Was it really worth it though? To lose my life? I wandered outside, heading no where in particular.
I walked for a while till I reached a graveyard. The same one Misty was in. I went to her grave and traced the words on the headstone with my fingers.
The flowers that had been planted around the grave were blossoming. I stared at the ones I had planted.
Maybe suicide wasn't such a bad choice. I wouldn't have to live with the grief I had. I wouldn't have to read the article over and over, crying every time I read it.
"Farewell Misty, till we meet again," I whispered, standing up. I began to walk home, wondering why life had to be so complicated.
The gun glinted in the dim light of the attic as I twisted it around in my hands. My mother had kept this for protection a long time ago, but now no longer felt she needed it. She had never gotten rid of it.
I almost wish she had, but knowing that it was still around for me to use, I had made my decision.
I took a deep breath and held the gun to my head. I slid my finger onto the trigger, ready to pull.
My mom chose that second to see what I was doing. Her mouth dropped open when she saw the gun.
I tightened my grip.
"No!"
--*--
Author's notes:
Ugh, the gloominess of it all... (Is gloominess even a word?) I've never been able to write something like this, but bad moods are sometimes inspirational, if you call this an inspiration. I took everything that I hate in my life and came up with this. Kinda depressing isn't it? Anyway, I hope you guys liked it, and may you all be able to go off and write something better than I can ^_^;;
By the way, the title, Dasvedanya, is Russian for "farewell, until we meet again". If your memories are even the slightest bit better than mine (which isn't hard), you'll remember Ash said this somewhere up there on page...uh...hm... ::reads the fic again:: Aha! Just a few lines above my babbling! (Did that make any sense?) Anyhow, that's why the fic is called Dasvedanya. So my wonderful readers (you're all so wonderful since you're actually reading! ^_^), dasvedanya!
I read the newspaper article again, for what seemed like the millionth time. It still shocked me every time I read it. It took a while for me to finally adjust to life after it happened. I still don't feel the same way I did a year ago. Of course, I was younger and stupider back then, as most 14 year olds were. Despite that though, I should have realized what had been happening. I could have prevented it. I wish life had a rewind button.
--*--
She had long blonde hair and sparkling bright blue eyes. She was tall with a spectacular body. She was beautiful.
I must have been gawking at her because Misty chose that moment to smack my head and hiss, "You're staring Ash..."
I immediately turned my gaze away from the girl, but soon found my head twisting back to see her again. A big mistake on my part though, as Misty smacked me again.
I didn't see what was wrong though, I thought is was natural for guys to act like this around beautiful girls. Brock does it all the time.
Now that I think about it, Brock was gawking at her too. I didn't understand why Misty didn't smack him.
Temptation overcame me and I walked up to her, ignoring Misty shaking her head sadly. The smell of raspberries surrounded her.
She even smells good, I thought with a grin. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth.
"Hi," I began, "I'm...I'm..."
I couldn't believe it. She was so beautiful I couldn't concentrate, thus forgetting my name.
The girl smiled. "I'm Sheila," she said and offered her hand.
"Sheila," I replied dreamily, taking her hand and shaking it. "What a beautiful name."
She giggled and I was satisfied that I had actually been able to say something semi-intelligent.
"Come on Ash, we have to go," Misty interrupted loudly.
"We can wait a few minutes," I snapped. Misty scowled, but didn't say anything and remained where she was.
"Shall we get something to drink?" I asked Sheila. She grinned and nodded.
We began walking towards a fast food place, which was the only place that would sell us any kind of drink for miles. I turned and waved to Misty, who glared at me and sat down on a bench.
"And then I said, 'I won't let you beat me! I'm going to be the greatest pokémon master in the world!' and my Pikachu used Thunder and finished off his Krabby,"
It was unbelievable. Here I was, having a drink with the most beautiful girl on the planet, and she was blessing me by explaining in great detail how she beat a gym leader. She sounded just like me.
Sheila suddenly stood up and struck a pose. My pose.
"And I flashed my little finishing pose like I always do, even though everyone who sees me thinks I'm nuts," she said.
She even uses the same pose I use, I thought. I was in heaven.
We walked out half an hour later, still talking, with me discovering that the more I talked to her, the more I liked her.
Brock had finally returned from wherever he had been, I hadn't really noticed since I spotted Sheila. Misty refused to look at me when we approached her, but I didn't notice anything until later.
"I'm ready Ash, let's go," announced Brock.
My heart sank. I didn't want to go. I stared at Sheila.
"We're going to Pallet Town to visit my mom," I mumbled.
"Really? I'm going to visit my uncle in Pallet!" she exclaimed.
My face lit up as she spoke those words. "Why don't you come with us?" I asked eagerly.
Misty scowled again, but kept quiet.
"I'd love to!" Sheila grinned at me and I grabbed her hand.
It wasn't long until clouds rolled in and Brock said he felt a drop hit him. A moment later, Sheila said she felt one too. A light rain started to fall. We ran until we reached a small deserted cave, where Sheila called out a Charmander to light it up.
We had amazing luck when we found the cave, because seconds after we all crammed in, it started to really pour. It looked like someone was just pouring water in front of the opening of the cave.
Beside me, Sheila started shivering. I put my arm around her and pulled her close. She smiled at me and put her head on my shoulder.
Brock was already falling asleep with his Vulpix in his arms. Misty was watching the rain fall. Togepi was sleeping next to Pikachu.
I stared at Sheila for a while; still not being able to believe that someone as beautiful as her was sleeping with her head on my shoulder.
It was still raining when I woke up. Sheila's arms were wrapped around my waist and her head was still on my shoulder so I didn't move.
Brock was still asleep, although Vulpix was wandering around the tiny cave, sniffing some rocks.
Misty had disappeared; Brock had told me later that she was standing outside in the rain. She had been upset. Togepi and Pikachu were both sleeping.
I felt Sheila move as she woke up, yawned, and smiled at me. I smiled back at her.
An awkward silence filled the cave. Neither Sheila nor I said anything. She shifted uncomfortably. I gazed into her eyes and she gazed into mine. We started moving closer together…
"Ash!"
Sheila pulled away quickly, blushing furiously. Misty's head poked into the cave.
"Can we go? It's just a little rain, and you told your mom we would be home in three days two days ago. And we still have a long walk to get to Pallet,"
I sighed, sensing that if I dared to argue, I would lose. I didn't want to lose in front of Sheila.
"Fine. Let's go then,"
Misty poked Brock and when he didn't wake up, dragged him out of the cave to give him a shower. It must have worked, because Brock's surprised yell echoed through the cave a minute later.
I smiled. Misty had interesting ways of waking people up, though most of them weren't pleasant.
Pikachu walked out of the cave holding Togepi followed by Sheila and me. Pikachu handed Togepi to Misty before the egg could get too wet.
My relationship with Sheila got better and better as we trudged through the rain while Misty's mood seemed to get worse and worse. I never noticed this, though I wish I had.
After what seemed like decades we reached Pallet. At that exact moment, the rain decided to stop. I scowled.
We reached my house quickly, with me leading the way. I pushed open the front door and was immediately greeted by my mother and a big hug.
"Oh Ash, I'm so glad you're finally home! And it's good to see you Brock and Misty! Who's this Ash?"
"Hi Mrs. Ketchum, it's nice to see you again," Brock said with a smile.
"This is Sheila Mom," I answered.
"Hi," Sheila offered her hand again and my mom shook it.
"We're gonna be staying here for a little while Mom," I announced. "Take a break from traveling."
"Alright honey, dinner will be ready soon," she replied.
"Would you like some help?" Brock put in, obviously happy at a chance to cook for us since we hadn't really eaten anything that required cooking for the last few days.
"That would be nice, thank you Brock,"
With them cooking, that left me, Misty and Sheila. I lead them to my room and tossed my bag on my bed.
"Is this your room Ash?" Sheila asked, looking around.
I nodded.
"I love it!" Sheila exclaimed. "It looks just like mine!"
I grinned. "You can sleep in the bed if you want," I offered, since my bed was the only one in there. "Me and Misty can sleep on the floor."
"Ash, why..." Misty began.
"Thanks Ash!" interrupted Sheila.
Misty crossed her arms and glared at Sheila. I was to busy watching Sheila to care.
The same sort of thing happened at dinner. I offered Sheila everything first, gave her the nice chair, the one without the big hole, stuff like that. I basically ignored Misty.
That was another mistake. She finally got fed up with me, mumbled something about being excused and left the table.
I watched Sheila eat her chicken.
Things between Misty and me got worse as the days passed by, probably because I was paying more attention to Sheila. I talked to Sheila every chance I got, I only talked to Misty a few times before I went to bed and said goodnight. Not only that, the only reason I said goodnight to her was because I said goodnight to Sheila.
About a week after we first arrived at my house, Misty dragged me away from Sheila and told me she was going back to Cerulean City.
"Why?" I asked, straining so I was able to see Sheila, who was behind Misty in the next room.
"That's exactly why Ash," was my reply.
"Huh?"
"I can't believe you Ash! You're totally ignoring me!"
"No I'm not!"
"You're not even listening!"
We argued for an hour. No one stopped us either. My mom was outside in the garden, Brock was at the grocery store and Sheila didn't know what to do. Pikachu was outside with Togepi and I was glad, or else we both would have gotten quite a shock.
The worst part about the argument was I wasn't even really listening. I don't even remember what I said. One thing seemed to push Misty over the edge though, as she grabbed her bag and stormed out of the house.
I watched her go from my window. Her form vanished within seconds. I walked out of my room and went back to continue talking with Sheila.
The next day, Misty called. I was surprised that she did, she seemed pretty mad. Then again, I wasn't paying attention so how would I know?
"Ash?" was the first thing she said.
"What?" I replied harshly.
"I...I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I was just frustrated. You never talked to me,"
"I'm sorry, but I really like Sheila. She's a lot like me. In fact, she's just like me," I grinned, seeing Sheila playing with Pikachu on the couch.
"I felt so left out..." Misty murmured.
We talked for 15 minutes until Misty said something I'll never forget.
"My life doesn't seem to have meaning anymore. I wish it would just end..." she said quietly.
What on earth does she mean by that, I thought. There was no way to end life just because...
My mouth dropped open.
No...
She wouldn't...
No...
Misty seemed to realize the same thing because I heard a clunk as she dropped the phone
"No..." I said into the phone, but I was too late. "No! No Misty, don't do it!"
My cries became more frantic as I realized she was actually going to commit suicide. I heard some banging noises between my pleads.
"Ash?" Sheila asked, walking up behind me.
"No Misty! Don't do it! No! I love you!"
--*--
I felt tears coming to my eyes as I remembered myself begging her not to kill herself, even though she couldn't hear me. I yelled into the phone until my mom came in and pried it from my fingers. Sheila had run to Professor Oak's lab, where my mom had been and told her I was screaming at the phone.
Misty had felt she'd lost me to Sheila. And she was right, she had. I loved Sheila. But suicide wasn't the way to win me back.
It worked though.
Sheila left the next day. I couldn't look at her, knowing that because I loved her, I caused one of my closest friend's deaths. No, Misty wasn't just one of my closest friends. I loved her. I just never realized that until it was too late.
I stayed in my room for weeks. I wouldn't talk to anyone. Not even Pikachu. I kept to myself, trying to hide my pain in front of my mom, Brock and Pikachu.
When I finally came out of my room, I couldn't talk. I'd gone into complete shock. My mom took me to a psychologist, but it didn't help. I remained the way I was for a month.
Now, a year after Misty died, I was reading the article that was in the paper the day after she killed herself. I don't know why I kept reading it; it only made me feel worse about what happened.
"I love you Misty," I whispered to the paper.
I found myself wondering how I'd made it this far. With the grief I went through everyday, I wondered why I hadn't ended my life.
A scary thought popped into my head. I could commit suicide. I would be with her. I wouldn't be alone.
I shook my head. Was it really worth it though? To lose my life? I wandered outside, heading no where in particular.
I walked for a while till I reached a graveyard. The same one Misty was in. I went to her grave and traced the words on the headstone with my fingers.
The flowers that had been planted around the grave were blossoming. I stared at the ones I had planted.
Maybe suicide wasn't such a bad choice. I wouldn't have to live with the grief I had. I wouldn't have to read the article over and over, crying every time I read it.
"Farewell Misty, till we meet again," I whispered, standing up. I began to walk home, wondering why life had to be so complicated.
The gun glinted in the dim light of the attic as I twisted it around in my hands. My mother had kept this for protection a long time ago, but now no longer felt she needed it. She had never gotten rid of it.
I almost wish she had, but knowing that it was still around for me to use, I had made my decision.
I took a deep breath and held the gun to my head. I slid my finger onto the trigger, ready to pull.
My mom chose that second to see what I was doing. Her mouth dropped open when she saw the gun.
I tightened my grip.
"No!"
--*--
Author's notes:
Ugh, the gloominess of it all... (Is gloominess even a word?) I've never been able to write something like this, but bad moods are sometimes inspirational, if you call this an inspiration. I took everything that I hate in my life and came up with this. Kinda depressing isn't it? Anyway, I hope you guys liked it, and may you all be able to go off and write something better than I can ^_^;;
By the way, the title, Dasvedanya, is Russian for "farewell, until we meet again". If your memories are even the slightest bit better than mine (which isn't hard), you'll remember Ash said this somewhere up there on page...uh...hm... ::reads the fic again:: Aha! Just a few lines above my babbling! (Did that make any sense?) Anyhow, that's why the fic is called Dasvedanya. So my wonderful readers (you're all so wonderful since you're actually reading! ^_^), dasvedanya!