Okay, this is my first fic like this, but I just couldn't pass up the inspiration I got.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
My Will
Chapter 1: Realizations
Quietly awakening...
I always, always wish
that these fleeting thoughts
would reach you...
The world came into focus as I lifted my head from the damp pink pillow. I tried to recap the earlier day. 'Inuyasha…..'
Unable to move forward
across "just a little more" distance
The way I see before me
is always blocked
Every time the days I
want to see you but can't pile up,
My strong heartbeat
turns into heartbreak.
Tears started to flow at the word. "Inuyasha…..Oh, god, Inuyasha…" I sank, once again, into the damp, pink pillow, letting the tears flow freely. "Inuyasha, why not me? Why did you have to be such a baka?" I slowly pulled myself out of bed and down the stairs, Mama running up and embracing me. "Kagome, what's wrong? Did something happen? When did you get home?" I just dug my face into my mother's shoulder and cried.
If there is such a
thing as "eternity,"
I want to believe, even
if I have to take the long way.
Although I know that
I've been hurt before because I'm clumsy
I won't stop; I won't
give in to anyone.
"Inuyasha…" I managed to cry. "Mama, Inuyasha!" Mama just stood there, holding my shaking body. "Kagome, dear, please tell me what happened!" I pulled myself together, pulling away from Mama's firm embrace. 'I have to be strong.' I looked her straight in the eye. "Inuyasha, he…" I couldn't keep this strong mask, I knew that.
I think of you
and that alone is
enough
to make the tears start
to flow now
I always, always wish
that these fleeting
thoughts
would reach you...
I weakly fell to my knees and buried my face in my hands, sobbing, wishing I was stronger. "It's okay, Kagome. You can tell me when you're ready…" She crouched next to me and soothingly stroked my hair, letting me sob onto her shoulder. "Mama, I want to be strong! Why can't I be strong? Not even for I-Inuyasha…"
I've known all too well
about pretending to be strong.
But since then, my
doubts have vanished.
A few days later-
I had stopped eating,
drinking, everything. I just locked myself away in my room, trying to
forget those horrible images. I sat on my bed, holding my stuffed
bear as if I dropped it, I would fall apart. I had stopped crying
too. I just sat there, thinking about him. 'Why?' I asked myself
that many times.
There's definitely
things I want to show you
And so many words I
want to hear
I want to see all sides
of you, when you laugh and cry
So I'll stop waiting
and seize my "chance."
I couldn't take it anymore. I dropped my bear, stood up, and walked back downstairs. "Mama." I walked up beside her. She was making fudge. "Yes, dear? Would you like something to eat." She looked at me and smiled. I knew what she was doing, just trying to act as if nothing happened. "He's gone."
I think of you,
and I feel like that
alone is enough
to make my heart grow
stronger.
I always, always wish
that these fleeting
thoughts
would reach you..
As I said that, a silent tear rolled down my cheek. Though I was not sad, I couldn't help it. "Oh, Kagome!" My mother grabbed me and pulled me close. "I'm okay, Mama." I pulled away and smiled at her. "I'm okay." I knew I wasn't, but I wanted to be. 'Maybe, just maybe, if I'm strong, I'll see you again, no matter how long. Can you hear me, Inuyasha? I hope you are watching over me.'
I think of youand that alone is
enough
to make the tears start
to flow now
My distant voice can't
reach you now, but so that someday
it definitely will...
Believe.
Believe.
Believe.
To be continued in Chapter 2: Remembering